It collapses in a heap of rubble and dust and opens the café to the real world beyond. Outside there are people going about their everyday business. There are men in suits and ties, newspapers and briefcases in hands, walking to work. There are women pushing babies in prams. There are children in school uniform with satchels and rucksacks over their shoulders. There are tourists in checked shirts and camouflage shorts taking photos. They all freeze and stare at the scene inside, and the people inside freeze and look back at them, horrified and appalled.
There is Reefer in a suit and tie going off to work at the Halifax.
There is Latch scrubbing the tiles on the kitchen wall.
There is Lollipop pushing a trolley round Sainsbury's frozen food aisles.
There is Katze browsing in the plumbing section of Homebase.
There is Lily Gusset filing her nails behind a desk in York City Library.
There is Catkin Silver in a brown St Peter's School blazer studying Physics.
There is Chicory Lettuce filling up cars at a garage on the A19.
There is Endive Lettuce pulling pints in The Blacksmith's Arms in Newton-on-Ouse.
There is Rocket Lettuce screening calls for the HSBC bank.
There is Kos Lettuce easing the Number 2 bus out of the Rawcliffe Park-and-Ride.
There is Jungle-Juiced Jake signing on at Job Centre Plus.
There is Baby the Baby having his diapers changed by
Miyumi the au-pair who speaks perfect English
There is Constable Kipper ticketing cars in Acomb high street.
There is Wee Jocko McTavish stacking paint tins in B & Q at Clifton Moor.
There is Rue taking a memo from a miserable boss in a miserable office.
And there is Yo-yo squeezed inside a blue Bootham School sweater sitting detention and writing out lines because he's cheeked off the Chemistry Master.
They look at each other across the rubble, then scream as one:
WE DON'T WANT
TO LIVE LIKE THIS!
''Come on,'' says Uncle Reefer, tapping his pipe. ''Time to go,'' and he and Latch, Katze and Lollipop, Lily and Yo-yo scramble over the rubble and out into Davygate.
A troop of men in white shirts, white trousers and white straw hats are dancing to the tune Shepherds' Hey which is being squeezed from an old, wheezy accordion. Their hats are decked with orange blossoms. Their trousers are adorned with bells. They wave their hankies and click their sticks. They pat each other's bottoms with bladdered balloons. This is the Morris, to celebrate May. It is all very jolly, but the tourists are as surprised as the Morris Men when La-La the yellow Tellytubby, Tweety-Pie the cartoon canary, Sylvester the Puddy Tat, Orinoco the Womble, the Pink Panther and Woody the Woodpecker join in the dance. The accordionist squeezes out another tune and the dancers form two lines, The Pink Panther, Sylvester and Orinoco facing the Woody Woodpecker, Tweety-Pie and La-La. They approach, clash their sticks, then prance around on the spot, waving their hankies. La-La hits Orinoco on the bottom with a balloon, Sylvester hits Tweety, Pink Panther hits Woody, and then they reverse. Then Woody and Pink Panther join hands. Sylvester and Tweety then Orinoco and La-La dance under the arch. There is a little more 'stickery', then the friends dance down the alley-way and into Lendal Cellars.
Yo-yo's Weekend Page 36