Dad and Mom are thrilled to have Mela over for dinner. Todd doesn’t mind their focus on her. Perhaps they won’t notice he’s down.
“So, Daniel told me that you’re coming to the meet on Saturday?” Mela asks him later when they’re sitting on his bed with Sandwich between them.
“He asked me if I wanted to come, and I figured why not?”
“I’m glad that you’re hanging out by yourselves.”
“He’s fun, and I’m just happy that he wanted to forgive me.”
Mela looks at him. “So, you’re really not going to tell him that you like him?”
Shaking his head, Todd reaches for Sandwich. “I don’t think so. I think that would ruin everything all over again.”
“I don’t think it would,” Mela says, nudging his foot with hers. “But it has to be your choice.”
“I think I’m just setting myself up for another failure.”
“It’s not a failure,” she protests. “I’m also convinced that Daniel wouldn’t stop hanging out with you if you told him and he said that he wasn’t interested.”
“I think I would, though. It’d feel like he just did it to be nice.” Todd takes a breath and decides to steer the conversation elsewhere. “Did you know that his parents are famous, by the way?”
“Yes, I’ve been to his house.”
Todd grimaces. “I literally only realized the other day. I’m such an idiot.”
Tipping her head back, Mela laughs. “Didn’t you meet his parents when they came to the gallery?”
“I did! I think I must’ve been too confused and stressed, because his dad was right in front of me and not once did I think ‘Hey, aren’t you the guy my dad gushes over at least once a week?’”
“I don’t know how you function in modern society.”
“Once I even asked him, a hundred percent serious, if his mom was an interior designer, and I thought he looked at me a little weirdly, but it didn’t make sense until the other day.”
Mela hides her face in a pillow and she’s laughing so hard that she’s honking. Todd’s okay with that; he thinks he was pretty stupid too.
“I talked to Evan,” he says after a long silence while Mela braided her hair and Todd beat his streak on his latest phone game obsession.
Mela pauses. “You did?”
“Yeah, called him.” Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her straighten up.
“How did it go?”
“Okay, I guess. We talked for a bit. He said that he would call me back soon, but it’s been over a week.” Admitting that he’s worried about being brushed off again is difficult. Deciding to call Evan was hard enough, and now he’s thinking that maybe it was all in vain. They might be back where they started.
“Did you call him?”
“No, but I wasn’t the one making promises and then breaking them.”
She reaches over to squeeze his hand. “Okay. I see why you’re hesitant. Wait a couple of more days and then send him a text?”
“I might.” Evan is the only person who can make him feel angry and guilty at the same time.
“I figured we should have brunch after the meet,” Mela says then, as though sensing that Todd isn’t in the best place to talk further about Evan.
“Maybe that French place we went to for my birthday?”
“Oh, yes.” She nods eagerly. “I don’t know if they like French food, but they’ll have to starve if they don’t.”
“Seems fair, considering they’ve been the ones competing,” Todd snorts.
“Definitely fair.”
* * *
Evan calls him two days later and Todd’s thumb trembles over the ACCEPT CALL button for several rings before he manages to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Todd?”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Evan sounds just as relieved as the lightness in Todd’s chest. The tension leaving his shoulders makes him sag in his desk chair.
“Is this a bad time?”
“No, I’m just studying. I could use a break.”
“Okay.”
The break turns into an hour of talking movies and Evan’s current job, which is the production of a pretty cool superhero TV show that Todd thinks that he might need to start watching.
Still, he’s at peace when they hang up. Baby steps, he tells himself.
Going to the meet that Saturday is a welcome break from studying. Todd is familiar with the place now and climbs the stairs with Mela to find decent seats. He still doesn’t know when Daniel or Jesse will be swimming, and Mela doesn’t seem to know either.
To his surprise, Ava is climbing the stairs with two people he now recognizes easily. Daniel really does look a lot like his dad, and his mom is talking on the phone.
Both Daniel and Jesse win all of their heats, and Todd doesn’t know why he’s sitting on needles the entire time they’re in the pool. They seem to move through water so effortlessly, as if they belong there.
However, when they go to lunch afterward, Daniel is quiet and closed off in a way that Todd hasn’t seen him since they weren’t friends. He looks… drained. Todd suspects that it has something to do with him, but he can’t for the world understand why. He tries to think over the last time they met or talked, but there’s nothing he can think of that could have made Daniel angry. On the other hand, he’s come to accept that he’s pretty good at doing and saying hurtful things without realizing it. He should probably ask.
Jesse and Mela talk as though nothing’s going on while they look through their menus. Todd focuses on his own, making half-assed attempts to sign the fruits in the smoothies under the table, just for practice. He can’t fully sign them, of course; even the sign for fruit requires him to put the ASL sign for F to his cheek. He’s been trying repeat the signs for words he knows when he comes across them. He wonders if there’s something wrong with his hand anatomy, because some things he just can’t get right.
He’s signing “berry” when a prickling feeling at his neck makes him look up and he wants to sink through the floor when he notices Daniel watching him. There’s something definitely off with him, and Todd lets his hands fall into his lap; his nails dig into his palms as his face grows hot. He doesn’t know if he should apologize or say something else, but the waiter saves him when he saunters over.
“Ready to order?” he asks.
Jesse and Mela order in an instant, and Todd picks the first thing on the menu that catches his eye. To his surprise, Daniel doesn’t say anything, but gives Jesse a nod. Clearly, Jesse knows exactly what he means, because he says, “He’ll take the same as me, please.”
Daniel keeps quiet during lunch and is either checking something on his phone or concentrating on his food, and Todd leaves with an itch under his skin. He’s sure that he’s messed something up, but he doesn’t know what or how.
At home, Mom and Dad are cooking together. He’s surprised to hear them speak Spanish, since Dad has almost stopped doing that. It makes his throat go a little tight.
“Hey,” he says, as he walks past. “I wanna be alone for a bit. Let me know when dinner’s ready.”
Mom tries to say something, but he shakes his head and heads to his room. Sandwich is fed, and her cage has been cleaned. It’s probably Dad’s work. He does that a lot, though he likes to pretend that Sandwich is nothing but a messy pet that eats a lot of pellets.
If he’s done something to offend Daniel, he wants to apologize, but he wants to know what he’s done so that he can avoid doing it again. However, he’s definitely risking coming off as an insensitive dick for not even knowing what he’s done wrong. On the other hand there’s no way he can make anything better if he doesn’t ask and then apologize. Before he can decide what to do, his phone buzzes with an incoming text from Daniel.
> Can I stay at you
r place tonight? I’m having a bad day and my dad is around.
Todd starts typing a reply, but then hesitates.
< Definitely. My parents are home, but you’re more than welcome
> Are you sure?
< 100%
> Can you tell them that I’m HoH? I’d normally do it myself, but I don’t have any energy.
< Of course!
Going out in the kitchen again, pulse picking up, he clears his throat.
“I’m having a friend over for dinner tonight, and he’s staying.”
“Is it the Daniel friend?” Dad asks.
Todd sighs. “Yes, and we’re really nothing but friends.”
“What did I miss?” Mom looks at them as if she expects an answer.
“I have a friend whose name’s Daniel,” Todd says, speaking fast to make sure Dad doesn’t get a say. “Dad thinks he’s my boyfriend, and he’s not. He’s had a bad day and he wants to get away from home for a bit.”
Mom looks as if she wants to ask, but apparently something in his expression makes her change her mind. “Of course, honey. We have plenty of food and we have a spare bed in Evan’s room.”
Todd’s shoulders sag. “Thanks. He’s hard of hearing, so make sure to face him when you talk and don’t interrupt each other, so he can read your lips.”
Dad nods, and his gaze grows distant the way it always does when he makes a mental note of something. “Okay, is there anything else we can do?”
“He’s usually okay with telling you what he needs himself, from my experience, but I don’t know how he feels about that today.”
“It’s going to be fine,” Mom says, radiating calm. “We’ll make it work together.”
Todd wants to hug them, but instead he pulls his phone out and types.
< Just talked to them. You’re more than welcome to stay for dinner and then stay the night. When will you be over?
The reply is almost instant.
> When can I come?
< As soon as you’re ready
> I’ll be there in an hour tops
Todd tidies the worst of the mess in his room and shoves some of his dirty clothes under his bed. Mom is going to kill him if she finds out, but the important thing is for Daniel to have someplace he feels okay. Todd will hand over his bed and sleep on the couch or in Evan’s room. Mom probably meant for Daniel to sleep there, but that doesn’t seem right.
Daniel shows up fifty-three minutes later—it’s not as though Todd kept track or anything—with a bouquet of flowers in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other, and a bag over his shoulder. He looks less closed off, but wearier, as if someone’s dumped a bunch of worries on his back.
“Hey,” Todd says, stepping aside. “Are you okay?”
Daniel smiles and nods, but it doesn’t look entirely genuine. “Sorry for dropping myself on you without a warning.”
“I did get a warning,” Todd protests. “And it’s definitely nothing you should apologize for. I’m happy that you’re here.”
“So, your parents,” Daniel says, gaze flickering around as though he expects them to appear at any moment. “Do they know that I need to read lips? It might be trouble for them, especially tonight, because the battery for one of my hearing aids just died on the way over, and I forgot to bring a spare.”
Todd thinks his chest is going to crack. Trouble? “They know. I just didn’t want it to be more difficult for you than necessary. And you’re never trouble. We’ll make it work.”
“Thank you.” Daniel’s smile is small, but at least it looks as if he means it.
“If it’s too difficult, I got a big text app,” Todd says, frowning as he holds up his phone to show what app he’s talking about. He waits until Daniel looks at him again. “So we can type instead?”
“Great. Thank you.”
“I just want you to be comfortable,” Todd blurts, and his face grows hot instantly.
“I know. Come on,” Daniel says, voice soft. “Introduce me to your parents so I can hand over these.”
Todd holds the flowers and the bottle while Daniel removes his coat and his bag, leaving them both in the hallway. Maybe Todd aches for an entirely different reason, when Mom and Dad turn around to greet them when they enter the kitchen. Mom gushes over the flowers and Dad compliments the wine way too much, but the tension bleeds out of Daniel’s shoulders.
A moment later, he wants to bury himself in the nearest pot, because as Daniel looks around, he realizes that the cards he’s made to practice signing are taped up all over the place. When their eyes meet, Daniel’s gaze is hot, and there’s a barely there smile on his lips. He doesn’t comment, but it doesn’t seem he disapproves.
Todd’s chest is on the verge of bursting throughout dinner, with the way his parents really make an effort, not interrupting and talking over each other as they usually do. Tonight, they make sure to look Daniel in the eye and take turns. Dad doesn’t turn away even once when he speaks. Dad’s accent makes it more difficult for Daniel to read his lips, but Dad just asks for a good app when Daniel gets frustrated, and Daniel helps him put it on his phone. He and Daniel talk about accounting. Dad types and types and types in his slow, one-fingered way, and Todd just watches with a lump in his throat.
Daniel, for his part, is super-polite and he has hidden his troubles under a smiling mask. A month ago, Todd wouldn’t have been able to tell, but he can see the cracks in that mask now.
“We’ll be in my room,” Todd tells them after dinner.
“Thank you for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Navarro,” Daniel says, smiling as he stands up. “It was lovely.”
“Thank you for joining us, honey,” Mom replies, voice warm. “And for the beautiful flowers.”
Dad, on the other hand, gets up from his chair and does this thing where he clasps Daniel’s shoulder and squeezes slightly. Daniel blinks and his cheeks grow pink, and Todd wants to be embarrassed, but this is his dad caring.
“You’re welcome here anytime you want, son.”
“You can go to my room. I’ll get your bag,” Todd tells him and he’s a little surprised that Daniel only nods and does as he suggests.
Mom and Dad are filling the dishwasher when he walks past the kitchen. They talk in quiet voices and don’t seem to notice him. Todd stops in the doorway, clutching the strap to Daniel’s bag.
“Thanks,” he tells them, and they straighten with their hands full of dirty dishes. “For being great. And stuff. That means a lot.”
Mom looks as though she’s going to say something, but Todd smiles and continues to his room. It’s not a discussion they need to have. He just wants them to know that he’s noticed and that he cares. Before he closes the door after him, he hears Dad say, “I’m the great, and you’re the stuff.” Mom bursts out laughing.
Back in his room, he finds Daniel on the floor with Sandwich cradled against his chest. He looks worn out, as if he’s run fifty miles uphill and hasn’t stopped to take a break—until now.
“Hey,” he says, stepping into the room.
Daniel looks up. “Sorry,” he says, gesturing at Sandwich. “I came in here and when I sat down, she came up to me on her own.”
“No need to apologize.” Todd shakes his head and drops Daniel’s bag next to him on the floor. In reality he’s pretty happy to see them getting along. It usually takes a lot of edible bribes for her to like new people. Daniel must have a magic touch. “She wouldn’t let you hold her if she didn’t want you to, believe me.”
Daniel smiles then, and Todd thinks his ribs are going to crack when he sticks his nose into the soft fur between her long ears. Putting Sandwich on his lap, Daniel reaches for his bag and puts a small case on the floor next to him. Then he opens pockets, rummaging around.
“I’m looking for spare batteries,” Daniel tells him without looking up, so he’s not expecting a reply. �
��I usually have spares in my bags, but I couldn’t find any on the way here, but I know I should—” With a triumphant noise, Daniel holds up batteries. He switches out the dead one, then puts the aids in his ears. Some whistling and scraping sounds come from them before Daniel gets them right, and he looks up at Todd with a smile. “There we go. Thanks for letting me come over.” Daniel is silent for a long while, but Todd can sense something else is coming. “Your parents are really great.”
“Sometimes they’re not,” Todd confesses. “Sometimes they’re nosy, and my dad tends to forget that I’m my own person.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, he wants me to take accounting, and I don’t want to be like him.”
“Because he’s an accountant?”
“Accounting manager. He’s really proud of his profession.” Todd shrugs. Being an accountant is nothing compared to being a sports commentator on TV or owning a huge kitchenware and cookbooks brand. “My mom’s a librarian.”
“That sounds really cool. I wish my parents had more normal jobs. Especially my dad.” Daniel sighs. “I think he’d be easier to deal with.”
“Are you okay?” Todd asks. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to talk about it. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”
“I will be,” Daniel says, shrugging. “I’m sorry I was rude at lunch.”
“You weren’t rude.”
“Not socializing around other people is rude.”
“Sometimes you don’t feel like talking to anyone. That’s okay. I was glad you were there to begin with.”
Daniel smiles. “I was pissed because the starting official at the meet refused to use hand signals, even though he has to. It made my start late, and I got behind.”
“But you won.” Todd knows, because he was there. Judging by the grimace on Daniel’s face, it’s the wrong thing to say.
“This time. Maybe I won’t next time if it happens again.” Daniel clears his throat. “It’s not as much the fact that I got behind in a heat I won anyway. It’s more the fact that he refused to accommodate me, even though he knows I don’t wear my hearing aids while swimming. It’s been a while since that happened. It always makes me feel like I’m an odd piece in the puzzle. That I’m not really supposed to be there.”
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