“I haven’t been raving,” comes a voice from behind Todd, and Daniel is back with Ava in tow.
“Hey, Todd,” she says, signing as well, and this time she doesn’t look as though she despises him. “What’s up?”
“Did you teach Daniel to say chill? Because my mind was blown earlier,” Todd says, and Ava gives Daniel a skeptical look.
“Can you even put it into context?” she asks.
“Why do you make it sound like I’m forty?”
“Duh,” Ava says, exchanging a look with Todd that makes him feel as if he’s winning. They’re bonding.
Todd smirks at Daniel, who fails spectacularly at glaring. He’s just about to say something, when a familiar man strides in as if he’s walking on stage in front of a crowd.
“Todd!” he exclaims and grabs Todd’s hand to shake it so fiercely that it feels as though his entire arm is going to come off. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Berger,” he says, having to resist rubbing the life back into his fingers when his hand is released.
Mark Berger is a person who takes up a lot of space, not only because he’s a tall guy with broad shoulders and definitely a hint of his old professional football career in his body, but also because he talks a lot and he talks so loudly. Todd’s ears are sweaty after twenty minutes into their dinner. He’s learned more about professional football than he has in his whole life.
“Todd, I have to tell you the story of how I got my nickname,” Mark begins, and Ava groans. She’s been interpreting for Daniel, for which Todd is grateful. He’s noticed that Ava and Mrs. Berger sign constantly while speaking, but Mr. Berger only does it on occasion.
“You really don’t. We’ve heard that story a thousand times, and no one cares.”
Mark Berger has a nickname? Todd had no idea.
“It’s a good story,” Mark protests, but his brilliant TV smile has diminished.
“It’s really not.” Ava shakes her head and picks up a carrot with her fingers, ignoring her mom’s manners as she puts it in her mouth. “It’s actually a pretty terrible story.”
Daniel snorts into his food, and Todd has to bite his lip hard to keep a straight face. He isn’t sure if this is regular procedure in this family, or if he’s witnessing the start of a war. When he glances at Elizabeth, however, it seems as if it’s the former.
“You have been overruled, love,” she says to her husband, and Todd suspects that they let him have his own show for a bit, probably not listening that intently, before they can ignore him with a good conscience. “Please tell me more about your gallery, Todd.”
He swallows a too-big bite of food and winces at the way he can feel it go all the way to his stomach. Smooth. “What do you want to know?”
For the next two hours, he’s asked questions he doesn’t know how to answer. They sound so grown up and professional: about the business plan and if they’ve made a SWOT analysis. When Todd doesn’t know how to answer, Daniel fills in for him, and apparently Jesse has done a whole bunch of things in that notepad of his, because Daniel has really great answers to most of the questions. All Todd has to do is explain why it’s so important to him.
“I grew up in Brooklyn, and art has always been very prominent there. You can see it everywhere,” he explains. “I’m sure you know that. The gallery where I work has been like a second home to me, and Mrs. Floral is such an important person in my life. For me, art was the only thing that made sense when nothing else did. I felt like there was a space for me there, when I couldn’t find one anywhere else.”
He takes a swig from his glass and sneaks a look at the people around him. He expects them to look politely bored, but there’s actual interest on their faces.
“Mrs. Floral is one of those people who donates everything she can to people who need it more and she always tries to see the best in people. Working for her and getting to do one of the best things I know was a dream come true. I got to see the sometimes-nervous artists come look at their work hung up for people to see. For some of them it was maybe the first time anyone could look at their pieces, you know? And I’ve seen people find a chance to catch their breath in that gallery. Sometimes they come in and they’re stressed out and then they disappear in the gallery for hours. When they leave, they’re like new people.
“She just didn’t have the best business plan, I guess,” he continues. “And we realized too late that we weren’t doing very well financially and that we were losing artists to our competition. Now, when we have a plan for how we want to do things, we don’t have the funds to get the ball rolling.”
“That’s where I’m able to help,” Elizabeth says, after exchanging a look with Daniel. “My company would like to donate. Art and opportunities for college graduates are two very important things, both to me and to our society in general. I would consider it an honor to give you a helping hand until you’re able to get back on your feet.”
Daniel had already told him that he would get the donation, but relief punches through him like a blow to the gut. It takes all he has to not sag on the chair.
“That… it— Thank you, Mrs. Berger, that would make a huge difference.”
“It’s Elizabeth to you, honey.”
Mark hasn’t said anything after being told off by Ava, and Todd isn’t sure that he’s listened to anything that’s been said, but it doesn’t really matter.
“Are you staying over, Todd?” Elizabeth asks, and Todd is instantly pulled from his thoughts.
“Um,” he says, glancing at Daniel who gives him a nod-shrug combination that pretty much translates to if you want to. Does he want to? He probably shouldn’t but being around Daniel is like scratching an itch these days. “If that would be okay.”
“Of course!”
* * *
“I just realized that I don’t have any extra clothes,” he says when Daniel has closed the bedroom door behind them. “I should probably catch a train home.”
“I have clothes.” Daniel shrugs.
“Can I borrow a shirt?”
“Sure. I’m sure we have extra toothbrushes as well.”
Todd thinks about saying no anyway, but he likes hanging out with Daniel and now when his mom has offered to donate enough money to maybe save the gallery, it seems rude to leave.
“That would be nice, thanks.”
To his surprise, they don’t watch TV shows all night. They’re lying on the bed, face to face, talking about really stupid things like Daniel’s pet hamster that ran away at least a dozen times and once his mom had to have some of the floorboards in the living room removed to get it out. They mostly use the big text app on Todd’s phone when things get long and complicated, since Daniel is tired, and Todd tries out a few signs he remembers. It’s not a lot, but Daniel’s eyes light up every time.
“Thanks for inviting me over,” he says. “I’m glad Ava doesn’t hate me anymore.”
“She never did.”
Todd kicks his foot.
“She didn’t! But she’s not angry with you anymore.”
“I only have myself to blame,” Todd says, and the fact that Ava wasn’t too happy with him doesn’t really matter now, when he seems to have been okayed. He deserved it, and now he’s been better.
“That’s old now,” Daniel says. “We’re beyond that.”
They are. Todd knows that they are. He looks at Daniel, at the light color of his eyes and his hair, and how all of his attention is on Todd now. The way Daniel talks to him is sometimes so overwhelming. It’s as if Todd really matters to him, to someone who’s planning on going to Harvard Law and do great things in life. Todd can’t get over the fact that it was him Daniel reached out to when he wanted somewhere to go that Saturday. Now he’s here, in Daniel’s bed and maybe he messed up several months ago now, but things are better this way, aren’t they?
<
br /> His chest tightens uncomfortably as he tries to push away the fact that he’s got it so bad. He’s going to get over it eventually. He’s done that before. There’s no way he’s allowing himself to mess this up again, and here’s Daniel in front of him, smiling.
“There’s going to be smoke coming out of your ears if you don’t stop thinking so much.”
“That obvious, huh?”
“Has been since the first time I met you,” Daniel tells him, his eyes warm as he looks at Todd. “The only thing missing is rolling subtitles on your forehead.”
Todd laughs, only partially to hide his embarrassment. “I haven’t mastered my poker face just yet.”
“I like that.” Daniel shifts on the bed. “I’m good at reading people, but I like that I can tell when you’re annoyed with me.”
Or when I’m trying to avoid you, Todd types out, trying to get away from the potential I like that it’s so obvious that you’re crushing on me.
“That wasn’t for very long. To be fair I was just as keen on avoiding you.”
Todd thinks back on the dinner at Mela’s and how he escaped the balcony as soon as Daniel got there. What happened with the girl at Mela’s birthday dinner?
Daniel’s gaze grows distant as he frowns, as if he’s trying to recall. “We went out to a club with everyone else.”
“I thought you dated her,” Todd confesses.
“What?” Daniel asks.
“I thought you dated her,” Todd repeats.
“We talked at one dinner.” Daniel snorts.
“And that makes it impossible?”
“I was being nice and polite. She was great to talk to, a lot of fun. That doesn’t mean that I want to get in her pants.”
Todd pretends he’s not relieved. “I know it’s none of my business, sorry.”
“I’m not that surprised. I remember you running inside the first chance you got when I tried to talk to you.”
“What were you going to say?”
“I don’t know,” Daniel says, biting his lip. “Maybe trying to see if that person I hung out with an entire evening and night was someone who existed for twenty-four hours only or if he was still there.”
Todd thinks the room has grown warmer, or maybe it’s just him. “Was he?”
“Someone who only existed for one night? No. I hang out with him a lot now.”
Todd resists the urge to bury his face in the pillow and grin. “I’m really glad that we do.”
“Me too.”
“I’m really glad that we’re friends.”
“So am I.”
He decides to change the subject to something safer. “What are your Christmas plans?”
Daniel shrugs. “Nothing except for sleeping and not studying. And practice, obviously.”
“Jealous.”
“You?”
“I think Evan’s coming home.”
“Can you repeat that?”
“I think Evan’s coming home.”
Daniel stills. “How do you feel about that?”
“Okay, I think.” Todd wiggles his toes and unlocks his phone. I’m nervous that it won’t work out. That we’ve been not-talking for so long that we’re just not going to be able to be around each other like normal siblings. But I miss him.
“Of course you do,” Daniel says softly. “He’s your brother.”
He types again, with more hesitation this time. Yeah, and he’s trying hard. I mean, so am I, but he’s sort of the one having to prove a point, and I have to work on forgiving him.
“I don’t think either of those is easier than the other,” Daniel tells him. “Forgiving someone can be hard, even when you know you should.”
“Was it hard for you?” Todd asks.
“Not when you apologized,” Daniel says. “I think I had already forgiven you at the time, and when you apologized to me, it felt like I was okay with moving on. You obviously meant what you said, and I could tell that it was hard for you.”
“Do you think I should be ready to forgive him?”
“That can never be my call to make,” Daniel says, nudging him. “It’s also vastly different to be hurt by someone you’ve met once and someone who’s your family and you should be able to trust with anything.”
Todd stays quiet. Daniel is right. It’s different for sure; Evan has been someone he’s looked up to most of his life, and then he felt betrayed by him.
“What about you?” Todd asks then. “How are things with your dad?”
“Sorry?”
Todd types it out.
“Same as ever.” Daniel shrugs. “You saw how he is. That’s him on a good day. That’s him making an effort.”
Do you clash, or did something happen?
“I don’t know.” Daniel looks away, maybe choosing his words carefully. “He’s never been that much of a parent, you know? At first it was football and then he was a TV personality all of a sudden. He wanted me to do football as well, but I didn’t like it that much. I guess he’s so used to being liked and a bit of a star, that he’s just never understood that sometimes he has to make an effort.”
“How come?”
“Aside from his obvious need to get attention, it’s just really difficult to be around him. Whenever I point out that I’d like his support with things, like the project I have with my friends, he thinks I’m being ungrateful, and we don’t talk for a few days. He keeps telling me that I only want to go to Harvard because my grandfather said so and because I don’t want to be like him. And I’m scared that he’s right.”
Todd reaches for Daniel’s hand before he can stop himself. Here he is complaining about his dad badgering him about classes, when some dads are like this.
You haven’t considered moving out?
“I have and I’m going to if I get accepted. Sometimes I want it to work, though. Other days I’ve already given up and I feel like I could just as well stop talking to him altogether.”
“Would he listen if you told him this?”
“I doubt it.”
Todd squeezes his hand. “Then that’s his goddamn loss.”
Daniel gives him a tiny smile. “Thanks.”
“You can share Sandwich’s cage if you wanna move out.”
“Come again?”
Todd types it on his phone.
“Wow, you’re so generous.”
Todd laughs as Daniel pushes a pillow in his face. Fighting it away, he says, “You love her.”
“She’s cute.”
“You know what else was cute? When you two were sleeping on the floor.”
Daniel grimaces. “I had so much back pain the next day.”
“That’s not because of the floor sleeping. That’s because you’re old.”
“I think she peed on me,” Daniel confesses with a grimace. “My shirt smelled weird when I got home.”
Todd can’t stop the laugh that bursts out of him, and the disappointed look Daniel gives him doesn’t make anything better. “I told you!”
“I feel betrayed. I thought she was my friend,” Daniel mutters, but his lips are twitching.
“I can’t believe she peed on you, and you didn’t even notice until the next day,” Todd wheezes.
“I thought you were my friend too.” Daniel snorts and kicks his leg. “Clearly I was wrong.”
It takes Todd a while to sober up, but as he does, he feels unnaturally light. He watches Daniel lying on his back, carefully ignoring Todd’s fit of laughter, and typing away on his phone with a concentrated look on his face. It’s not even Christmas yet, but he knows from experience how quickly the spring semester passes. He reaches out to tap Daniel’s arm to get his attention, and smiles when Daniel turns toward him.
“So, you’re moving to Boston, then? When you get accepted.”
“What?”
“You’re moving to Boston when you get accepted?”
“If.”
“When,” Todd corrects.
“I think so. I think I want to go. It’s close by, but I think it would do me good to be by myself for a while.”
Todd nods and tries not to think about Daniel moving away. Boston really isn’t very far, but sometimes Manhattan feels like the other side of the planet, and not just a train ride away. Boston is definitely farther. Travelling to Boston would require them to stay friends for that long, though.
“I’m gonna visit you if you move.”
“I’m counting on it.”
Todd smiles, his heart warming. “I might bring Sandwich, just for you.”
“You sure know how to bribe someone.”
Do you remember that time you got me that cold beer and you told me you had to kill a few people to get it?
To his surprise, Daniel’s smile turns embarrassed. “Yes, but in reality, I just ran home and got one from our fridge.”
Todd freezes as his brain tries to understand what Daniel just said.
“You did what?”
Daniel shrugs. “They were out of cold drinks, and it was just a couple of streets away. It was worth it.”
“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” he breathes. “I mean, except for the fact that you guys skipped out on studying for your finals just to help me out with stuff.”
“What?”
Todd repeats himself, less breathy this time.
“I’m too tired, can you write it down?”
He should’ve just typed it out from the start. He shows Daniel his screen; his cheeks warm as he watches Daniel read.
Daniel laughs. “Thank god you added that.”
“Would you have taken all that back if I hadn’t?”
“Definitely not. It was a good break. You would’ve done the same for me.”
Todd’s heart warms. “Yeah, for you I would’ve.”
In an instant, Daniel becomes serious. “I have no doubt in my mind that you can pull this off.”
“You don’t? I doubt myself all the time.”
“I think that’s why you’re going to succeed. You’ve worked so hard for this, made such an effort. It’s going to work out.”
Brush Strokes Page 23