The Desert Rose

by Larry McMurtry

  Moneywise she was down to two hundred and fifty dollars, and she hadn’t heard from Pepper in a week. Pepper was just leading a life that didn’t include her, things changed so completely when they changed. Although so far as the duplex went practically nothing had changed except that Myrtle had bought another lawn chair so Jessie could keep her company in the shade of the garage.

  When the cab dropped her off there they were. Jessie had just done her nails and was watching them dry, and Myrtle was stirring her drink with one finger and trying to write an ad for a going-out-of-business sale. Holding garage sales had begun to depress her and she was hoping to get rid of the rest of her stock of secondhand clothes and imitation pearls.

  They watched her get out of the cab as if it was the big event of the day, which might be the case. Apparently Monroe had gotten discouraged and wasn’t really trying anymore and Wendell worked all day, not a lot happened around the duplex.

  “Hi, I’m back,” Harmony said.

  “Why, was he unfaithful?” Jessie asked. She had a thing about men being unfaithful.

  “Sure, give ’em time, they’ll all cheat,” Myrtle said.

  “I can’t talk about it, I’ll cry,” Harmony said, which wasn’t true, she felt pretty good. She just didn’t feel like explaining that not only did Giorgio not cheat he even neglected his business in order to continue making up for lost time. Earlier on in life it might have made her love him, but this time it didn’t, she just mainly wanted to get along home and sit under the umbrella with her peacocks.

  So that was what she did, not only that day but for the next week, spent a lot of time under the umbrella, drinking a few rum Cokes and feeding the peacocks. When it got real hot in the middle of the day she would put on her bikini and go back to the umbrella, it was very peaceful with just the peacocks.

  Jessie and Myrtle had become fast friends. They sat in the cool of the garage most of the day, talking about men, how unfaithful they were and dishonest and not too sensitive and hard to understand. They had enough complaints to get them through the day. Harmony didn’t take much part, she didn’t care to hear complaints and had none to make particularly, men weren’t perfect but neither were women, much as she loved Myrtle and Jessie it was obvious they were a long way from perfect.

  The big scene with Giorgio never happened. It was such a blow to his vanity when she just moved out that he dropped the jealousy issue and all other issues too, he chose to pretend it never happened. Harmony took the Buick and went to the bar once to show him there were no hard feelings, they could still be friends, after all it had only lasted six days. But Giorgio acted like she was someone he had maybe only been introduced to casually once or twice, he wouldn’t look at her and definitely didn’t rush over to refill the peanut bowl. It was pretty plain he would rather she found another bar to drink in, she had to give up on still being friends.

  “Well, I told you it was a mistake to switch him on,” Gary said. He came out often before going to work, to see how she and Jessie were doing.

  “I didn’t mean to but it was my birthday,” Harmony said. “How’s Pepper doing?”

  “Fine,” Gary said. “She knows the routines. Monique could leave now, as far as that goes.”

  It seemed peculiar, Pepper was at the Stardust every day and she wasn’t. It had all happened so quickly she couldn’t even figure out what she felt about it, except definitely it didn’t feel so good not going to work. She had always kept herself in shape and already she was beginning to feel not in such good shape.

  Gary was worried, he didn’t like her just sitting around with the peacocks.

  “You gotta look for a job, Harmony,” he said. “Two hundred dollars isn’t going to last forever.”

  “I know, besides I owe Madonna,” she said. “I always like to pay for Pepper’s lessons first.”

  “You don’t owe Madonna, Mel paid her,” Gary said. “He knows you’re out of work. It wasn’t that much money. It’s like small change to someone who’s rich.”

  She knew Gary was right, she ought to be job hunting. But Jessie read the want ads out loud constantly and none of the jobs available seemed like things either one of them could do. She had only been a showgirl and a waitress, maybe she could get a job as a waitress but she kept putting it off, hoping a girl would drop out of one of the shows and a producer would call. Everybody in town knew she was fired, if a girl dropped out surely they would call her.

  7.

  SO FOR a week she mainly sat under the umbrella, not so much thinking bad thoughts or good thoughts either, just sort of sitting, watching the days get hot, and then cool again, as the evening came. When the sun sank the sky got very clear—she loved the evenings. Sometimes just before sundown she would stand by the fence and look across the desert to the Strip, the lights were beautiful above the desert shadows. It was not a hurt exactly, to be watching the lights from across the desert, it was peaceful even, just different from being over there where the life was, putting on her makeup and getting ready for the show.

  It was not easy to believe it was over, it had been her life since she was seventeen and she had taken care of herself. She wasn’t in really bad shape yet, maybe she had just gained a pound or two since being laid off. Looking over at the Strip in the evenings she just felt like it was a vacation, a little time to be with the peacocks. She would probably be back on the Strip any day, as soon as a producer who knew her had a girl drop out.

  Only the problem was the money, it was running out fast. Even if all she did was go down to a bar and have a few drinks or maybe take Myrtle and Jessie to Wendy’s for dinner it used up money. There wasn’t enough to pay the phone bill, for one thing—any day the phone was going to be cut off.

  “You should have took your real estate license,” Myrtle said. “You could be as rich as that guy Pepper’s marrying if you knew how to sell real estate.”

  It was not a helpful complaint. It was true that a lot of girls went to the university and took real estate courses but Harmony had just never had any urge to, real estate hadn’t interested her that much.

  Then just when she thought she was going to have to call a guy she knew named Big Ben who owned a couple of restaurants, she practically knew he’d give her a job but she kept putting it off, a sort of miracle happened, which was that Ross called.

  Harmony had about given up on Ross. Her guess was that he was wrong about Linda’s attitudes, probably Linda wanted to keep him to herself while she was pregnant at least. She didn’t think it was realistic to count on Ross to come through with anything, after all it was fourteen years, he probably didn’t really want to try getting back together.

  Then one morning she was sitting at the kitchen table drying her hair with Jessie’s blow-dryer when the phone rang. She started not to answer, probably it was the Visa people, they were pretty persistent, not that you could blame them, but then she thought who knows, so she answered and it was Ross. He wasn’t calling from a pay phone, either, he was calling from his own apartment.

  “Oh Ross, how are you?” she asked, he didn’t sound too great.

  “I’ve been missing you a lot,” Ross said. That was surprising, Ross almost never came on that strong, even when they were first married he hadn’t. She had had to do most of the coming on.

  “Is Linda there?” she asked, that was the crucial question, and it turned out she wasn’t. Linda had decided it was time to go to the commune and get settled in with her friends. One of her friends was a midwife and she planned to have the baby right there in the commune so it would feel at home right from the start.

  Ross seemed to feel like talking, so Harmony let him, after all the phone might disconnected any day. It turned out Linda hadn’t exactly been the best girlfriend in the world, she had a violent temper and a couple of days before had hit Ross in the face with a mop and had broken one of his front teeth. One reason he was missing her so much was because he had just been to the dentist to get the tooth fixed. Ross didn’t like pain any be
tter than Jessie did, he definitely needed someone around to take care of him when things like that happened.

  “How could she break your tooth with a mop?” Harmony asked, that was hard to imagine but it turned out that the handle of the mop had actually hit the tooth. The reason for the fight was that Ross had gone to a party with a girl who was a friend of Linda’s and Linda hadn’t liked it.

  Then Ross said, “So how you doing?” and Harmony had to admit she was hardly doing at all, no job and no guys either. She just decided to be frank about that, it might give Ross a little encouragement.

  “Well, I got a big empty apartment,” Ross said, plus he said he could definitely get her the job as hospitality hostess if she came right away, they had hired a girl who hadn’t worked out, she had only worked a week and then ran off with one of the junketeers. So the job was open. And of course it might lead to a job in a show—he had shown the producer some of her pictures and he had sounded impressed.

  “Oh Ross, I was younger in those pictures,” Harmony said. “He might not be impressed if he saw me now.”

  “I would, though,” Ross said. “I bet you’re still as beautiful as ever.” He had used the line before but the sweet way he said it made it a good line. Ross definitely sounded a little down, it was pretty obvious he could use someone to take care of him, so Harmony thought well, why not? What do I have better to do? Before the conversation was over she agreed to go to Reno, she said maybe in two days, she had a few loose ends to tie up, if she didn’t get him she would leave a message with Martin, probably she would come on the bus.

  Then she went out to the garage to tell Myrtle and Jessie the good news—she practically had a job in Reno—but both of them were such pessimists they didn’t even consider it good news.

  “How do you know he’ll be faithful?” Jessie asked, she was sort of obsessed with that issue. Harmony never had been obsessed with it, after all humans were humans, if there was some kindness in the relationship a little slip now and then could be overlooked, and actually in most cases she had been the one prone to the little slips.

  Myrtle didn’t care about faithfulness unless Wendell was the male in question, she was more interested in who paid for what. She said if Ross was serious he ought to have offered to buy the bus ticket.

  “If I was gonna ride all the way to Reno just to let somebody get in my pants they could at least buy the bus ticket,” Myrtle said. She was not a very sentimental person most of the time.

  Harmony had not even been thinking of Ross in that way, she had mainly been thinking of taking care of him a little. Jessie and Myrtle were getting to be less and less help. It was almost just as well she was leaving, maybe they would miss her when she was gone.

  But then she hit it to town and got Gary just as he was waking up and he thought it was a great idea. He said a change of locale might do her all the good in the world. But then he went to shower and when he came out of the shower he was crying, Harmony didn’t know whether it was because of his unrequited love or what.

  “No, it’s you,” Gary said. “You’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known, I don’t know what I’ll do without you.

  “You’re just always so cheerful,” he said. “You’re not a depressive, like everybody else around here.”

  It was sweet that he thought that of her. For a moment she wished Gary wasn’t gay, something might have happened, but what happened was that they went for a long walk and held hands. Harmony was thinking that their friendship could never be hurt. At that point she didn’t feel too sad to be leaving Las Vegas. She and Gary talked about what might happen. Gary said, “Well, maybe Ross is grown up now and will make you a perfect husband. Or if not maybe some wonderful guy will show up with one of the junkets and you’ll marry him and live happily ever after.”

  Harmony didn’t know about that, but she didn’t feel sad. Maybe they would need two hospitality hostesses and Jessie could come to Reno too. When she got home she asked Jessie if she’d ever consider such a job and Jessie got a little excited too, she was definitely ready to consider it. Jessie’s only worry was that Francois wouldn’t like it in Reno, the winters were supposed to be a lot colder there.

  Then Myrtle became disturbed, she hadn’t counted on everybody suddenly moving out of the duplex, after all Harmony had shared it with her for fifteen years. Once Myrtle got disturbed she tended to get very disturbed, she began to walk up and down the driveway drinking—finally Harmony had to take her to Wendy’s to get her to stop and even that didn’t work, she hardly touched her food. It made Harmony realize it was a little complicated, just suddenly moving away.

  “I depend on you like a daughter,” Myrtle said, which reminded Harmony her own daughter was getting married. Ross said she had to hurry if she wanted the job, which meant she would probably miss the wedding. It was a very upsetting thought, it worried her all night. The next day she called Mel’s house, hoping to get Pepper, but got Mel instead.

  “Thank you for paying Madonna,” she said. “I didn’t mean for you to do that.”

  Mel just said forget it, so she asked about Pepper.

  “Oh, she went off with Woods, I think they went to an arcade,” Mel said, he sounded quite friendly.

  It was a surprise about Woods, Harmony had supposed that was over although she had never been quite sure if it was a romance or what. Mel was quick to realize she was puzzled—he just laughed.

  “Pepper’s still a child, you have to remember,” he said. “She has to go play with her friends once in a while.”

  Then she told him she was going to take the bus to Reno, probably the next day, she had a prospect of a job, and before she could go any further Mel said, “Harmony, you don’t have to take the bus, I’ll be glad to buy you a plane ticket. Why suffer?”

  Harmony said no thank you, being in the air was suffering as far as she was concerned, if God happened to be mad at you being in the air was sort of giving him a good chance to show it. She said she had just called to find out about the wedding.

  Mel said it could be another month, his father was recovering very slowly, but they would certainly fly her down for it. Or if she couldn’t stand flying, he would send a car, he wouldn’t think of letting her miss the wedding.

  Harmony thought it was wonderful that Pepper had found such a considerate man. She didn’t have much more to say so she thanked him and hung up. Then she decided she’d just go on and leave the next day, why wait?

  8.

  THE PEACOCKS were the sad part. When she went out in the early morning to feed them she realized she was leaving them too. Somehow that hadn’t gotten into her mind. Of course Myrtle and Jessie were staying, but they didn’t love the peacocks. Jessie hardly ever looked at them. The only thing to do was call Joy, the friend she had got them from in the first place. Joy had been the lead dancer at the Dunes and had married an architect who was quite successful. They had a big house on the edge of town and a lovely yard with trees in it. It was kind of a peacock farm, actually—Joy bred them.

  Joy said sure, she’d be glad to take them back, and she wouldn’t sell them or anything, she’d just keep them until Harmony saw how Reno was working out. Maybe a little later they could go and live in Reno too.

  It was a relief, Joy had a wonderful place and the peacocks would have more space to walk around in, and trees for shade, they wouldn’t have to huddle under the little shade Wendell had built them.

  Only when Joy came to get them in her big pickup with the camper shell it stopped being a relief. The peacocks didn’t like being put in the dark pickup. They got very anxious and screeched and looked miserable. Joy rushed right off so they wouldn’t have to stay in the hot pickup very long, she told Harmony not to worry, they’d calm down in no time once she let them out in her yard. Then the peacocks were gone. It made her feel horrible, she went in her bedroom and shut the door. Jessie probably got an instant migraine just from the sight of her face but Harmony couldn’t help it. She felt like she had betray
ed the peacocks, maybe they wouldn’t like it at Joy’s even if it did have more shade.

  For a while she thought it’s not worth it, I’ll just be a waitress, at least the peacocks will be happy. She was on the verge of calling Joy and telling her to bring them back. The thought that they would never understand why she had done it to them was the terrible part.

  Jessie didn’t help. When Harmony finally came out of the bedroom and told her how she felt Jessie said, “Oh well, peacocks probably have a terrible memory, they’ll forget you in five minutes.” She was trying to be cheerful but it was the wrong thing to say, it was a little like suggesting that Francois would forget Jessie in five minutes. Harmony pointed that out and Jessie got upset and hobbled into her bedroom and shut her door.

  Anyway, there was Ross to think about—she would just have to keep in mind that the peacocks would have a much more beautiful yard. Joy even had a sprinkler system, the yard was real nice. Harmony decided to take the late-afternoon bus. It would put her in Reno about three in the morning, which would be a good time for Ross, he would be off work. She called him and got him, he sounded a little drowsy but denied having been asleep.

  “Ross, I’m coming tonight, will you meet me?” she asked.

  Ross seemed a little startled. He said he definitely would meet her but he still seemed a little startled.

  “Is it okay or what?” Harmony asked, she didn’t have time to be subtle.

  Oh sure, Ross said, he could hardly wait to see her. The problem was that Linda hadn’t liked it at the commune and was on her way back, she had changed her mind about the commune life.

  That was a shock, what was the point if Ross and Linda were getting back together? But Ross said oh no, she had misunderstood, Linda was bringing a girlfriend back from the commune and they were going to live together. The thing was Linda had demanded the apartment, so he didn’t have a big apartment to offer anymore—Linda had demanded it.