by Vicki Hinze
The confusion about him disappeared and her feelings suddenly seemed so clear. The past, their histories, were insignificant. They were no longer the people they had been then. Experience had changed them. They were wiser now about their own parts in creating the challenges of their pasts, and because of that, they were more aware, more invested in creating their futures. Better futures.
“Will there be other times for us, Maggie?” he asked again.
She brought his hand to her lips, kissed his fingertips. “Absolutely.”
He smiled, then turned serious. “I know you have concerns.”
She’d had concerns. Looking at him, she didn’t have them any longer. Still, she would like to understand the past so she could finally put it to bed and move on with her life without thinking of it again. Yet she couldn’t ask and be delicate, wasn’t sure she even should be delicate. “I’m not judging you now, but I need to understand.”
“You want to know why men cheat?”
She nodded. “Can you answer that for me?”
“I swore that after the divorce from Andrea was final, I’d never speak of this again. But for you, I’ll try, Maggie.” He paused and thought a moment, then went on. “I can’t answer for all men, but I can and will answer for myself.” Justin stopped, gathered his thoughts and then finally continued. “It wasn’t deliberate, or something I went out with the intention to do. Things between Andrea and I were really good until she got mixed up in that garden club.” He took a drink of juice, as if washing a bitter taste of out his mouth. “Going there changed her. She got darker and, well, darker is the only way to describe it.” He gave himself a little shake. “This is totally embarrassing.”
“If you’d rather not talk about it, I understand,” Maggie said.
“No. No, we need to be open about everything.” He pulled in a steadying breath. “Let’s just say, I came to hate being with her.”
The truth dawned on Maggie. “The garden club had nothing to do with gardening, did it?” Man, she felt like an idiot. Of course, it didn’t.
“No, it didn’t.” His face flushed red. “Anyway, that’s how it all started. She was worse, the nights she went there. I didn’t know where she was going, then. Fool that I was, I thought she was faithful. On the nights she went out with the girls, I thought they were doing chat sessions or whatever else women do when they get together at a garden club meeting. I had no idea what she was really doing. But I learned quickly to stay away from her on those nights.”
“How did you avoid her?”
“I’d drive around and not come home until I knew she’d be asleep. The next morning, she’d be furious, of course, but dealing with her when she was furious was nothing compared to dealing with her when I was home. She was twisted.”
“So you just made sure you weren’t there.”
He nodded. “I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t believe in divorce, she refused to see a marriage counselor and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t want things to get violent, but, to be honest, she was heading in that direction fast. I just didn’t know what else to do, so I avoided her.”
Maggie wasn’t sure she would’ve known what to do in that situation, either. Short of leaving, what was left? He could’ve stayed, let her get violent and called in the police, but would they believe him? Resolve the problem without emasculating him? Probably now, yes. But it still would have been hard to stomach the process. No doubt she would have been furious and deliberately made it as painful for him as possible. Maybe the other members would have helped her, too. None of them would be happy that the truth about their club had been revealed. All in all, getting out seemed the best option.
“One night while I was driving, I found this park. The one on Oak and 47th Streets with the Oriental garden and foot bridge.”
“I’m familiar with it,” she said.
“I like the feeling of that park. It’s peaceful and quiet.”
“It usually is.” Maggie had run there often.
“The park was everything my home wasn’t anymore. So I stopped and stayed there awhile. There’s a bench on 47th, not far from the corner. A woman was already sitting there.”
“Is she the one?”
He nodded. “The first three or four times I saw her there, we just exchanged polite hellos. Then, one night, we started talking. Her name was Laney.”
“And the more you talked, the more you liked her, and before you knew it, you were in an affair.”
“That’s pretty much it, Maggie. Laney was kind and gentle and decent—everything Andrea had ceased being.”
Maggie tried to imagine, to see this situation through his eyes. “And seeing those things in Laney reminded you of all that no longer existed in Andrea?”
“Yes. The contrast was stark. Like darkness and light, good and evil.” Justin shrugged. “I wanted goodness and light, so I divorced Andrea.”
He divorced her? Maggie sat too stunned to speak. She just stared at him for the longest time, trying to let all he’d told her sink in. “I thought Andrea divorced you for being unfaithful.”
“No, I left her.” He shook his head, his gaze fixed on the table. “I was so naive, Maggie. It wasn’t until after I filed for the divorce and she came to me begging me not to expose her membership in the garden club during the legal proceedings that I discovered the garden club—and, as you put it—that it had nothing to do with gardening. Boy, but I felt stupid. Stupid and used.”
Maggie knew exactly how he felt on that front. She reached across the table, covered his hand with hers. “I’m sorry.”
“But you still think I’m scum for being unfaithful to her?”
“No, I don’t,” Maggie said. “I think it was wrong, and I won’t say it wasn’t. You could’ve left her first. But I can definitely see now how, being in your situation, you’d be vulnerable to a gentle woman like Laney.” That wasn’t all Maggie saw, and she, too, had to be honest. “I shouldn’t have painted all men with the same brush.” That was a serious understatement, considering the circumstances. “I was wrong to do that.”
“I should’ve respected marriage and myself, even if I couldn’t respect my spouse anymore. And I should’ve divorced her before getting involved with someone else. I see all of that now, of course. But back then, when I was in the middle of it all, I didn’t realize how bad things had become with Andrea until Laney came along. The change happened by degrees, you know? And all of a sudden one day I found myself in misery, and I wasn’t sure how I got there, or exactly when it happened.”
“One of those situations where you can’t see the forest for the trees,” Maggie said.
“Exactly.” He nodded. “I didn’t intend to hurt anyone. It just happened. But I swear, Maggie, it will never happen again.”
She believed him. “What about Laney?”
“She went home.” He took a bite of sausage, chewed and swallowed. “She had an apartment by the park and spent a lot of time there because it reminded her of home.”
“Where was she from?”
“Barth, Mississippi,” he said. “From her description, it’s a beautiful little town with moss-draped oaks and wide front porches.”
“Sounds quaint.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” He smiled. “Laney still loved her husband—we talked about him a lot—and she decided to go home to try to work things out.”
He helped her find her way back to her husband? How very charming. “I wonder if she did.”
“I don’t know. She called me once, as soon as she arrived, to let me know she was safely there, but I haven’t heard from her since then. I hope she and her husband reconciled. I hope she’s happy.”
“Did you love her, Justin?”
“No, I didn’t. She didn’t love me, either.” He looked Maggie straight in the eye. “But I respected her, and I’ll always be grateful to her. She helped me see the truth about Andrea and how destructive that relationship had become.” He gave Maggie a sweet smile. “Laney
helped me find the light in my life again. That was quite a gift.”
It was. “And now you’ve helped me see things in a different light.” Maggie tilted her head, humbled by the way things ripple out and are passed on to those who need them. “Thank you, for being so open about all this.”
His expression sobered. “It’s important to me that you know the truth. You know why, Maggie. You know exactly how I feel about you.”
She did. “Yes.” And she felt the same way about him, but before she could tell him, a large group of people entered the diner. So many that they were lined up, waiting for tables.
“We should go,” Justin said.
Maggie gathered her things and they left. Outside, walking down the sidewalk to the parking area, Justin offered Maggie his hand.
Her heart full, she clasped it. “So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?”
“Something very special,” Justin said.
“Very special.” Maggie hummed. “Whatever will that be?”
Maggie and Justin sat in Justin’s den, sprawled on the floor against the sofa, in front of a roaring fire. “Are you really upset that you didn’t get Kunz, Maggie?”
“No. I don’t have that luxury.” She wasn’t accustomed to drinking early in the morning, but it felt more like the end of a very long night and it was Christmas, so why not? In a compromise, they’d decided on eggnog. “I wish we’d gotten him, but the truth is, you’ve got to be realistic about these kinds of people. Even if we had gotten him, he still has a legion of GRID members behind him. So if he’s out of the picture, one of his henchmen steps up and just takes over.”
“He went to a lot of trouble to double Barone.” Justin shook his head. “I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that.”
“He had no choice. Barone held authority on closing the mall. As long as I couldn’t conclusively prove GRID was attacking Santa Bella—and Kunz made sure I couldn’t by having events occur at other potential targets and rumors of more attacks—Barone had the last word. The real Barone would’ve shut down after the C-4 was found. Kunz had to double him so his double could replace him and refuse to close the mall.”
“But the real culprit,” Justin said, “was Linda. How did Kunz get to her?”
“He’s very good at playing people, and he can be extremely sympathetic and charming. Linda was bitter about being poor and serving others. Kunz played on that and gave her a way to be wealthy. He showed her a world she’d dreamed of all her life. One where only a few thousand insignificant users-and-takers would die, and Linda would be served and treated like a queen forever. She couldn’t resist the temptation.”
“It’s sick. Playing people’s vulnerabilities.”
“Yeah, and he’s made it an art form.” Maggie paused. “You know, the Krane’s bag shoppers bug me. It’s just.... I don’t know. He was using them as decoys!” The truth slammed into Maggie. “That’s all there was to them. So our people would be tied up with busy work and become complacent before Linda’s people removed the antidote.”
“But he had to be after something else—besides the virus,” Justin said. “It’s the only way what he did makes sense.”
Maggie turned to Justin. “Listen, let’s make a pact. If ever you’re the victim of a three-month absence, you’ll let me know. And if ever I am, I must let you know.”
“And then what?” he asked.
“You and me, we go to Colonel Drake.”
“Agreed.”
“Great.” Maggie turned her thoughts. “He had to be studying one of us, Justin. Maybe all of us. Who knows? He’s done that with Amanda, Kate and Darcy over successive missions. It had to have been you or me this time.”
“Or Colonel Drake,” Justin added.
Maggie agreed. “Or Colonel Drake.”
“We have to brief her on this, our concerns, I mean,” Justin said. “She needs to be aware.”
“Yes, she does.” Maggie sighed. “I’ll tell her tomorrow.”
“So you are disappointed about not getting Kunz.”
“No, acceptance comes with the job on these terrorist cases.” She’d reconciled herself to less than a hundred percent resolutions a long time ago. “We can’t lose sight of the goal, and that’s to intercede, interrupt and intercept him and his business. That’s realistic, and it makes us all safer. So, no, I’m not upset that we didn’t get him, though I wish we had—and one day, we will.”
Justin touched a hand to her face. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
“Me, too.” Her heart skipped a little beat. “You’re a special man.”
“I dare you to stay with me and tell me that again next year, when Kunz isn’t doing his best to steal Christmas.”
“Do you really think there’ll be a next Christmas for us?” She hoped there would, so much it could be frightening, if she’d let it. Instead she was going to enjoy it.
“Absolutely.” His promise carried over from his mouth and shone in his eyes. “I told you, Maggie. You just do it for me.”
“Then, yes, Justin.” Maggie smiled and breathed next to his lips. “I’ll take that dare and double it. Because you do it for me, too.”
He curled his arms around her and pulled her close. “I think I’m going to like Christmas from here on out. Me and you, on our own, together.”
“On our own, together,” she said with him.
Laughing, they kissed deeply and settled in to dream by the fire.
Epilogue
On a remote island in the South Pacific, Thomas Kunz sat in his operations center, drinking a glass of milk and watching the mopping up going on at Santa Bella Mall. Judy Meyer sat beside him and three women stood behind them that bore striking resemblances to Amanda West, Kate Kane and Darcy Clark.
“Well, that was a lot of work and planning for nothing,” his Amanda double said. “The virus wasn’t activated—or was it?”
“No, it wasn’t.” With his arm around Judy’s shoulder, Thomas rubbed small circles on her upper arm.
“Nearly a year of planning, down the drain.”
“No,” he told Darcy’s double. “We got exactly what I was after.”
“How’s that?” Kate sat on the edge of his desk. “There was no capabilities demonstration, Thomas.”
“Oh, but there was, my dear Kate.” He smiled.
“Not on the DR-27 virus,” Amanda said, then halted suddenly and gasped. “Oh, you clever, clever man!”
“What?” Kate’s double asked, clearly irritated.
“The virus capabilities was a decoy. Or, if successful, a bonus. But it wasn’t the primary objective of the operation.” Amanda smiled. “Thomas, resident genius and millionaire-maker extraordinaire’s objective was to determine the capabilities of Maggie Holt!”
“Very good, Amanda.” Thomas Kunz laughed deeply. “The three-month absences have become obvious to our counterparts at S.A.S.S. so I needed a process that would give me all I need to know quickly. This event was that process.” He smiled, clearly pleased with the way things had worked out. “I know now how she thinks, how she reacts in crises, and her vulnerabilities when it comes to relationships. In two days of high-pressure observations, we gained all the information needed to double her—though only for limited exposure, I confess. Still, it’s been a very enlightening two days. And, since Kate, Darcy and Amanda were active on this mission, as well, I also received current status information vital to you ladies.”
“A winner all around.” Kate’s double groaned. “I should have known.”
“Yes, my dear,” he answered honestly, admonishing her. “You should have.”
Darcy chewed at her lip, worrying. “They think you failed.”
“Of course, they do, Darcy.” Thomas looked at Judy, curled contentedly beside him. “They always do. But I am infinitely pleased with the outcome of Operation Stealing Christmas.”
“And you’ve still got the Threat Integration Center half convinced you’re dead.”
“That’s t
rue, too.” Thomas finished his milk and stood, his shadow falling across the tiled floor.
“How long will you let them believe it?” Judy stood, too, stroking his shoulder lovingly.
“Oh, for a time.” He sent her an enigmatic smile. “For a time...”
Read on for a Sneak Peek of the next S.A.S.S. Unit novel, S.A.S.S. Confidential.
Sneak Peek: S.A.S.S. CONFIDENTIAL
Prologue
“Back off, 248.”
Bobbing in the Gulf of Mexico, Dr. Morgan Cabot fixed her gaze on the Sunrise, a yacht twenty yards in front of her. Its’ running lights burned thin amber and spilled over the deck and onto the dark, choppy water. The beating sounds of the Apache’s props had to be carrying to the boat, and still the chopper wasn’t responding to Morgan’s orders to back off.
She rode out a swell, adjusted her lip mic, and then softly whispered into it. “Home Base, 248 is not responding. Condition critical. Relay that back-off directive to 248 ASAP.”
What was that idiot pilot doing? Trying to get her killed? Knots formed in Morgan’s stomach and then cinched down. Providence Air Force Base was due north, about twenty miles inland from the Gulf of Mexico’s Florida shore. Hopefully, the target would consider the chopper’s flight routine to the area and not associate it with anything else, but she wasn’t at all eager to bet her life on it, and she resented immensely the chopper pilot doing so.
Lucky breaks, or even semi-lucky breaks, on this entire mission seemed to be in short supply, but Morgan desperately needed that one. At least that one.
Her boss, Colonel Sally Drake, the S.A.S.S.—Secret Assignment Security Specialists—Unit commander, was monitoring the operation from Home Base at Regret, the unit’s secret headquarters located a little over twenty miles north of Providence out on an old abandoned bombing range. She’d handle this communication snafu between Morgan and the Apache, pronto. When something put her operatives in additional jeopardy, Colonel Drake took no flak and no prisoners.