‘AS IF you used to eat that too!’ Alice couldn’t help but get excited, slamming her hand down on the bed in disbelief.
‘Hell yes, I did. What’s not to love about the warm cheesy mix of that bowl of carbohydrate goodness? A childhood staple for me, in fact.’
‘I wasn’t expecting that.’
‘Don’t write me off just yet. I’m not sure we’re as different as you might like to believe.’
‘Trust me, Alfie, I know that we’re different. But I still wouldn’t write you off in a million years.’
She smiled as the silence settled over them once again.
40
Alfie
He didn’t care that Alice had got so mad. That her talk of dying had sent both him and Sarah into distressingly dark thoughts. All that mattered now was that Alice was talking again and she seemed OK. Her words lingered in his head, filling him with a warm buzzing that seemed to radiate from somewhere deep inside his stomach.
It was odd to think he still hadn’t seen her face. Some days this bothered him more than others. In reality, did it matter? He’d never judged his friends on their appearances; in fact, most of the time he barely even registered what they looked like. Other days, though, he felt desperate to see her. To look into her eyes when she spoke and see her face shape itself into a hundred different expressions. He longed to know who she was, and thought that somehow her face would hold all the secrets. In those moments he would scold himself.
Looks aren’t everything. Stop being so shallow.
Of one thing he was certain: with the majority of his focus on Alice, his own recovery had started to take a back seat. Everything else felt less important than making her laugh. He was in deep with this latest crusade, and he often wondered whether his efforts were because it was her that he cared about so much, or because he simply had to save someone.
Come on, Alfie, you’re in a hospital ward full of sick people all waiting to be saved; it’s definitely her.
He knew now more than ever that the plans he’d been formulating to keep her entertained were important. If he could find some subtle ways to get her to open up then maybe the life of Alice Gunnersley would be demystified at last. So far in their friendship he’d been privy to small glimpses of her life before the accident, but it wasn’t enough any more. The deeper their connection grew, the more Alfie wanted to know about her. He set to work immediately.
‘Nurse Angles. Hey, Nurse Angles!’ He tried not to shout too loudly but he needed to get her attention. Trying to catch up with the busiest woman on earth while negotiating walking with a prosthesis was no easy task.
‘Come on, baby, walk with me if you’ve got to talk – I’ve a long list of stuff to do.’ She didn’t even look up from her clipboard but he knew he had her attention.
‘OK, OK! Basically, I need to ask a favour. Well, two actually. Firstly, I need an A3 sheet of paper and a thick black pen. Secondly, I need you to stick what I’m going to write on said paper with said pen to the inside of Alice Gunnersley’s curtain.’
Immediately she started to shake her head. ‘Oh, no no no! What the hell are you up to? I can’t be shoving things in patients’ faces without permission! Plus, we’ve only just got her talking and cooperating. I’m not doing anything to jeopardize that. You know better than this, Alfie.’
‘But she’s asked me to do it … kind of.’ Technically that was a lie, but he knew some things were worth taking a risk for. ‘And you know there’s no way she’ll let me inside her cubicle! Please, Mother A. I know how much this will cheer her up.’
She stood there for a moment, clearly thinking carefully about her answer. Alfie hoped that she could see how important this was to him. How important this would be for Alice. Suddenly a noise erupted from her trouser pocket; she was being beeped.
‘I have to go. Look, if I say yes and this turns out to be one great big mistake, I will make your life hell on this ward, Alfie Mack. You do know that, right?’
Oh, he knew. He knew that Nurse Angles meant every single word.
‘I know that, and I also know this won’t be a mistake. I promise you that.’
‘Fine! I’ll get you the paper and pen, and then leave whatever you want me to put up on the desk.’ She patted him on the cheek and sped off to deal with the ever-growing list of demands being thrown at her.
‘Remember, it needs to be put there overnight so she sees it in the morning!’ He didn’t want to push his luck but it was an important part of the plan.
‘Jesus, Alfie, the things I do for you,’ she called back over her shoulder.
His bubble of excitement was quickly followed by a sharp pang of nervousness.
Please God, don’t let this be a massive mistake.
41
Alice
‘Right, Big Al, it’s 10 a.m. You know what that means?’
‘You’re never going to call me Big Al again?’
‘Incorrect. It’s the quick-fire-questions game. One hour of relentless questioning, no time for thinking: just the first answer that comes to mind. Them’s the rules, remember!’
Much to Alice’s surprise, she’d woken up that morning to a handwritten ‘Daily Fun Schedule’ attached to her curtain. The moment she saw it she felt sick.
How the fuck did that get there?
Did he come inside my cubicle?
No, he wouldn’t have.
But who else would have put it there?
‘Alfie, what on earth is th—’
‘Before we go any further, Alice, I want to assure you I did not set one foot inside your curtain. I promise you. I pulled a few strings and got one of the nurses to help me.’
For some unknown reason she trusted him on this one.
‘OK … but still, what the hell is it?’
‘It’s our daily fun plan. A regular schedule to keep you entertained, courtesy of moi. It’s pretty great, I won’t lie.’
Alice scanned the sheet of paper.
The early morning was assigned to the nurses’ rounds and then there was time allocated for breakfast and washing – a generous hour and fifteen minutes – before the supposed fun and games began. She sensed the extra fifteen minutes had been added in a slight panic. Alfie probably wasn’t sure how much time a badly burnt woman needed to get herself ready for the day. Bed baths with burns weren’t a fast or enjoyable experience.
The rest of the day was laid out and time-boxed to within an inch of its life.
10.00–11.00: Quick-fire questions.
11.00–12.00: Reading. (She wasn’t quite sure if this meant out loud to each other or silently. She prayed for the latter.)
12.00–13.00: Lunch.
13.00–15.00: Physio for Alice and Alfie (depending on the day).
15.00–16.00: Puzzle books.
16.00–17.00: Nurses’ afternoon rounds.
17.00–18.00: Musical round. (Give me strength.)
18.00–19.00: Dinner.
19.00–20.00: Group walk. (In his dreams.)
20.00–21.00: Bedtime stories.
21.00 onwards: Sleep or DMCs.
‘Do I even want to know what a DMC is?’ Alice could only imagine what he was going to come out with.
‘It’s a deep and meaningful chat. You know, sharing is caring and all that.’
Alice couldn’t help but scoff. ‘Only you could plan for an emotional conversation.’
They hadn’t even started the schedule and she was nervous. She didn’t want to put a dampener on something he’d clearly spent a lot of time on, but she didn’t think anyone other than Alfie would have enough energy to complete this timetable; certainly not her.
‘So, as it’s the first day, I’ll choose the topic. I’m going for food.’
Alice let out a groan.
‘Wait, please don’t tell me you’re not a foodie? I had so much hope after the pasta, cheese and beans! Please don’t break my heart and reveal you only eat beige food like digestive biscuits and potato waffles?’
‘Tr
y existing only on coffee and takeout sushi.’ She grimaced, knowing what was coming.
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake. Every day?’
‘Every glorious day. I took the decision to upgrade from my pasta dish when I got my first real job.’
‘Wow. You really did take a step up in the world, didn’t you?’
‘It hasn’t exactly worked in my favour. Why do you think it’s taken me so bloody long to recover? My body was made of caffeine and raw tuna.’
He laughed. ‘Now, isn’t that an attractive thought …’
She reached across with her unblemished hand and slapped him hard on the arm. Over time, their beds had seemed to grow closer and closer together. On some mornings, if the light shone just right, she could almost make out his silhouette lying next to her.
‘Fine. Well, this will be a short and very boring game then, won’t it! LET’S GO.’
She let out another groan.
‘Oh yes, my friend, we are still playing, don’t you worry about that. Remember, this is just the first activity – you’re going to need more enthusiasm if you’re going to last the whole day.’
She wasn’t sure it was enthusiasm she needed, more like a heavy dose of Valium.
‘OK. Pizza or pasta?’
‘Erm … my heart says pasta because, well, it kept me alive for a good four years, but then again pizza is so goddam good. You know what, for old times’ sake I’m saying pasta.’
‘Firstly, good answer. Secondly, this isn’t an opportunity for a monologue, Alice. You can’t think about it, it’s got to be instant!’
‘Give me a break, that was the first one. I bet you’re more competitive than your kids at school, aren’t you?’
‘Don’t start deflecting or distracting by asking me questions, Alice, I know your game. But yes, of course I am. The kids never stand a chance against me. Now, question two …’
And so it went, back and forth for a good half-hour, until Alfie finally agreed to let Alice ask some questions.
‘I’m not doing food because clearly I have no real knowledge of it. Ohhhh, I know. My category is people.’
‘People?’
‘Yeah, people.’
‘As in …’
‘Don’t start deflecting or distracting, Alfie. I give you two people and you choose one.’
‘Someone is feeling sassy today, I like it! Fine.’
‘OK, so.’ She paused. ‘I know. That TV presenter lady on This Morning … what’s her name … Holly Willoughby or—’
‘HOLLY.’
Alice couldn’t help but actually jump as he screamed the name.
‘Jesus Christ, I hadn’t even said anyone else.’
‘No one will ever be more important to me than Holly. Ever.’
Alice rolled her eyes. A petulant part of her wanted to say, ‘Even me?’ but she wasn’t quite ready to hear him say no.
‘Fine. OK. Maybe that was too easy … Nurse Angles or your mum?’
Alfie burst into laughter. ‘What kind of question is that?’
‘Well, I don’t know how to play your stupid game! You do one then.’
‘OK. Me or Sarah?’
‘You.’
Oh.
Shit.
Laughter erupted from behind the curtain.
Shit. Shit. Shitting shit.
Alice buried her face in her pillow, desperate to erase that last minute of her life.
‘Well, well, well! Me? Oh. My. God. You picked me? I mean, I can’t believe it. Luckily for you Sarah isn’t here yet … but just you wait till I tell her.’ He paused and Alice could tell he wasn’t done yet. ‘ME! I want to shout it from the rooftops. You picked ME!’
‘Argggggh,’ was all she could muster out loud.
Obviously she didn’t mean him.
She was caught off guard and he was the first option.
Surely there was some science to say you’d always pick the first option?
‘Don’t be shy about it now, Alice, you’re the one who said it. It’s always important to be honest about how you feel.’
He was going to be absolutely insufferable.
Why wasn’t this bed swallowing her up?
‘Will you just leave it, Alfie? Jesus, grow up!’ She spat the words out, surprised by her own anger.
Where had that come from? Alice felt like a child who’d had her diary read out loud in all its embarrassing detail. But this wasn’t embarrassing, surely? This was just a stupid game, and a stupid mistaken answer.
‘OK, I will say no more.’
‘Thank you.’ She hoped he could hear the apology in her voice.
‘So, fancy another round?’
‘NO!’
‘OK … your call.’ His voice was still thick with glee.
Alice, Alice, Alice. What the hell is going on with you?
Thankfully he had the grace to let her cool down a bit and regain some composure before he moved on to the next item on the list. Much to Alice’s dismay it was, in fact, reading out loud.
‘Now, you’re lucky that my mum brought in the entire series for me just last week. Otherwise we’d be stuck with Mr Peterson’s Daily Mail to read from.’
‘Really?’ They were only thirty seconds into chapter one, page one, before she cut him off.
‘Sorry, is there something the matter?’
‘Firstly, you’re expecting us to actually read out loud to each other?’
‘Correct. And secondly?’
‘You’re going to read me Harry Potter?’
‘Correct. Have you read it before?’
‘No, because I’m not seven years old.’ She smiled; she felt rather smug about that comeback.
‘Well, you’re about to experience one of the greatest works of fiction ever written then. And you can thank me later. Imagination doesn’t have to stop at seven, you know. Grown-ups can be fun too.’
Touché.
‘Fine.’ She sighed. ‘Go on.’
And so he did, with intense enthusiasm. Every character was given their own individual voice, there were dramatic pauses left, right and centre, plus he even adopted a very good Stephen Fry-like narrator’s voice. She soon realized there was no stopping him and so she lay back, closed her eyes, and brought his words to life in her mind. How lucky those kids were to have someone like him as their teacher, she thought. How lucky she was to know him.
‘So, what do you think, Miss A? Did your old-woman brain manage to enjoy it?’
‘The jury’s out, I’m afraid. I’ll have to hear more.’
Loath as she was to say it, three chapters in and she was hooked.
‘What a lame excuse to get me to read to you again. Don’t you worry, I see right through you.’
She had to laugh.
‘Shall I continue?’
‘If you have to …’
‘Ah look, lunch is coming now. What a shame, you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.’
She could picture the Cheshire cat grin across his face. ‘You’re a tease, Alfie Mack. You know that, don’t you?’
‘But you wouldn’t have me any other way.’
‘Gosh, aren’t you two so cute!’
‘Sarah!’ Alice must have been on a different planet because she didn’t even hear her friend approach. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Sarah’s head pop round the curtain. ‘Where the hell did you come from?’
‘Well, I walked through the entrance, turned left and then followed the corridor, and BAM: here I am.’
‘You’re so ANNOYING!’ She threw a pillow at her friend but missed, which only made her more frustrated.
‘Sorry, my love. Maybe Alfie’s childish behaviour is contagious.’
‘Hey, why the hell am I being brought into this? I’m just an innocent bystander,’ he called out from beside her.
They looked at each other, rolled their eyes and laughed. Sarah took up her usual position lying next to Alice in the bed.
‘You can’t stay mad at me for long, especially
when I’ve brought you … pain au chocolat!’ Sarah held out a warm paper bag of sweet-smelling pastries. One sure-fire way to melt any of Alice’s negative emotion was to hand her something buttery and full of sugar.
‘God, you know me too well. I love you. Hand them over.’
Sarah leant in and kissed her on the head. ‘I love you too.’
Alice took the bag, and in less than one second had already stuffed half the pastry in her mouth.
‘You’re actually quite lucky you can’t see this, Alfie. Let’s just say Alice is a bit of an animal when it comes to eating.’
Alice, too distracted by the heavenly sensation of warm flaky pastry and oozing chocolate inside her mouth to care, half-heartedly nudged her friend in the ribs.
‘She must be enjoying it to be so silent,’ Alfie remarked.
‘So, what have you kids been up to today?’ Sarah asked.
‘Well, I’m so glad you asked, actually …’
He wouldn’t dare tell her.
‘Alice and I have been testing out my new schedule!’
‘Ooh, is that what this thing is?’ Sarah reached over to the curtain and pulled down the piece of paper. ‘Very good work, Chief Entertainment Officer – this looks like an incredibly detailed and full-on schedule! How was it? Did you learn anything new about each other?’
Alice realized she’d stopped chewing her pastry.
‘I certainly learnt a lot about Alice …’
NO.
Please, Alfie, don’t be a dickhead.
‘… mainly that she has an extremely limited knowledge of food and isn’t too seasoned in how to have fun.’
She didn’t even care that he’d insulted her; she was simply grateful that he hadn’t revealed her ridiculous answer to that ridiculous question.
‘Just because I’ve never played some stupid game before does not make me not fun.’ Alice swallowed her mouthful, wanting to shut down this conversation very quickly.
‘It was more the fact you had never read Harry Potter, actually. Can you believe that, Sarah? No concept of Hogwarts. No idea about The Boy Who Lived. Nothing.’ He sounded genuinely shocked and even a little bit offended.
‘Yeah, Sarah, can you believe that?’ She turned to her friend with a knowing look.
Before I Saw You Page 16