B-More Careful

by Shannon Holmes

  The reality of being thrown in this world with nothing, to have to steal and trick niggas for a living, then be violated the way Black had violated her. It was nothing but a mental struggle for Netta’s mind. She wanted to change from everything she once was. If she could have a new face, a new name and move herself to a place where no one knew her, she could change. She could at least hold her head up, but that was only wishful thinking. The truth was, Netta couldn’t get a new face and a new name and she didn’t have a new town to move to. She had to face B-More, her past, what she was and who she wanted to be. She had to face it all.

  But there was one thing Netta could change. Netta had Nurse McNeil’s granddaughter cut, style and dye her hair. She did this in her hospital bed, deciding she needed a new look to go along with the new person she was going to be when she was released from the hospital.

  “Tone, I want to show you something,” Netta said innocently, that evening he was visiting.

  “What?” he said with a curious smile on his face.

  “Promise you won’t laugh.”

  “Yo, I promise, now show me,” Tone said.

  “Remember, you promised you wouldn’t laugh,” Netta reminded him as she reached her hands in the back of her head and untied the scarf that covered her new hairdo.

  “Surprise!” she yelled as she snatched off the scarf revealing her new short curly blond hairstyle.

  “You like?” she asked, really needing his approval.

  “I like that. It’s definitely you. Now what you got to show me? Want me to close the curtains so we can get down to the nitty gritty?” Tone asked optimistically.

  “Stop playin’, stupid. I’m serious, yo. I need you to do me a big favor.”

  “What is it now?” he asked sarcastically.

  “I need you to get a real estate agent and sell my house for me. I need you to put my furniture in storage and I need you to sell my truck,” she replied.

  “Why, I thought you loved living in the hood?”

  “I do, I do love my hood, but that ain’t the point. The point is, I need to get away from that hood. I need to see life outside the hood. I know this might sound crazy, but all I’ve ever known is the streets and the game. That shit ain’t for me anymore, Tone,” she admitted. “You might think that I’m running from my past, but I’m not. I just want to put a little distance between me now and me back then. This shit has done something to me. I’m a changed person, a different person and I want everything I do to reflect that change.”

  “I feel you, but I still think you’re running from something. You can’t run from your past; it’s who you are. Someday, you’ll have to face it and it’s better to deal with it now than later. You can run but you can’t hide,” Tone replied.

  He was hinting at her drama with that guy who had messed her up. Netta still hadn’t told him that guy was Black and he had no idea how prophetic his words would be later down the line.

  The doctors were amazed at Netta’s speedy recovery and healing powers. The scars and bruises were slowly vanishing from her face and body. With the help of cocoa butter, the wounds would disappear in time. They gave her a clean bill of health and discharged her from the hospital. Before leaving, Netta made her rounds, saying her goodbyes to all the doctors and nurses who had helped get her well. She had a particularly long and complicated goodbye with Nurse McNeil. Nurse McNeil had treated Netta like family, like one of her own.

  “You take my number and you call me. Day or night, if you need anything, you call me,” Nurse McNeil insisted.

  It was time to leave, time to get on with life. She’d come full circle from not knowing what the future held for her, from setting goals to planning the rest of her life. The material things she once cherished, and damn near died for, no longer meant anything. Those things had no value the way they used to. Netta had dreams that she wanted to pursue. She no longer wanted to use her looks or her body. Netta now knew from her long conversations with Nurse McNeil that the physical does indeed fade. Youth and beauty would go into decline long before her mind would.

  Of course, Tone was there to pick her up when she got released from the hospital. It was an occasion to celebrate. Tone took her to her new condo, located just outside the city limits in one of the surrounding counties. Netta’s new condo was fully financed by the sale of her row home and Range Rover. Almost everything from her former lifestyle had been sold. The cursed possessions helped comfort a new home. She replaced everything conservatively and what was left over, she put in the bank.

  After Tone helped Netta settle in her new home, he became a permanent fixture. When he wasn’t taking care of business, he was spending every possible moment with her. He took her to college when she registered for the fall semester at Catonsville Community College. He held her hand as she walked through the door, telling her she could do it and truly believing she could pass any class they had. Then one day, out of the blue, it happened while they were watching a rented video. They kissed, and before either one realized it, they were making love. Months of pinned up, raw emotions were released.

  “I love you,” Netta whispered, snuggled in Tone’s arms. For the first time in her life, she meant it. This wasn’t a game she was running to get in his pockets. These were her true feelings. How couldn’t she love him, he was her hero. He saved her life, and not a day after that, had he left her side. He never once questioned her about what had happened. Tone was the only man for her and she loved him with all her heart.

  “Yo, you ever been in love with two females at the same time?” Tone asked his cousin Mann hypothetically. He turned to him seeking a sympathetic ear to his current dilemma. But instead, what he got was a voice of reason.

  “Naw, dog. What you talkin’ ‘bout?” Mann inquired.

  “I’m sayin’ son, you ever like been in love with one chick, but just loved another one too, while you still in love with the first chick?” Tone asked, explaining the situation as best he could without dropping names.

  Mann was driving down the street. He turned his head and looked at his cousin.

  “Oh, shit! Nigga, you done fucked up now!” Mann exclaimed. “What you gonna tell Sonya? You ain’t feeling her no more?”

  See, this was the very reason Tone stopped seeking Mann’s advice. He knew Mann would speak his mind regardless, whether he liked it or not.

  “Yo, it’s not like that. Calm down. You jumpin’ the gun. I love Sonya and all, but I can’t lie, I’m in love with Netta,” Tone said sincerely. “It’s just me and her is more compatible than me and Sonya. Netta understands the game and Sonya claims she understands the game, but she really doesn’t because when it comes time for her to demonstrate her understanding, she can’t. She’s too busy nagging me about where I’m at? Where am I going? Who I’m with? What time I’ll be home? It’s a fucking headache and a bunch of silly stupid shit. I can’t make moves without hearing her fuckin’ mouth.”

  “Umm, hmm,” Mann replied. “That shit sounds good but you still dead wrong. It ever dawned on you that she really cares about your monkey ass? Nigga, I think you just pussy whipped. Netta got you open!”

  “Pussy whipped? Never that! I get too much pussy for that.”

  “Well, if it ain’t that, then what is it. I’m sayin’, you been with Sonya for forever. I thought y’all was getting married and shit,” Mann said.

  “Yo, things change, and people change. I can’t explain how this happened, but I can tell you this, it’s not about no pussy. It’s about compatibility, me and Netta just vibe better,” Tone explained.

  “Oh, so you ain’t hit it yet?” asked Mann being sarcastic.

  “I ain’t say all that! I ain’t gone lie on my dick neither, but I been feelin’ the honey way before anything ever jumped off. So, something was there from the start. It ain’t a sex thing,” Tone replied.

  “Whatever, I spoke my peace. You gonna do what you want anyway. But two things for certain and one for sure, Sonya’s gonna bug the fuck out when you tell her
this. I wouldn’t want to be you and what about that kid that hurt honey? Suppose homeboy come back with some more drama? If that’s gonna be ya wifey, you gotta hold her down and protect her. Yo, sis might be more trouble than she’s worth, think about it,” Mann said, going in. “In my opinion, you’re making a bad move. It’s bad money! How you gonna throw away a sure shot thing for the unknown? Netta could be fakin’ the funk, frontin’ for all you know. But, you need to be a man about this shit and tell Sonya what the fuck is going on. As soon as you figure this shit out and the sooner the better. Tone, you owe her that much.”

  Sonya had been around for six years now. Six years and nothing was wrong. If Tone wanted to throw away six years, then let him. Mann just didn’t understand why.

  “Yeah, you right. I do owe her that,” Tone sighed, thinking of having to tell her the truth.

  Taking Mann’s advice, he went home immediately to break the news to Sonya and let the chips fall where they may. When he entered the two-bedroom apartment in Northeast Baltimore, she was on him.

  “Motherfucker, we need to talk. Where the fuck you been? I ain’t seen ya ass in days,” she said as Tone breezed right by her and headed for the bedroom with her right behind him.

  “What we got to talk about?” Tone asked as he flopped down on the bed.

  “About you and me, about us?” she asked, standing over top of him pointing her finger as Tone stared blankly back at her and swallowed hard. “You don’t love me like you used to.”

  The statement hung in the air and Tone wondered if it was obvious.

  Though Sonya was busy focusing on school, she wasn’t stupid. She knew Tone was cheating. He was telling on his self by his actions. They weren’t having sex and Tone was a sex fiend, so she knew he had to be getting it from somewhere. While Sonya was laying the foundation for their future, Tone was busy fucking it up.

  “Why you say that?” he asked calmly.

  “What, why I say that? I’ll tell you why I say that, because your ass is hardly ever here. You never come home at night anymore. When you do come home, it’s daytime and all you do is sleep the day away, then roll out. What type of shit is that?” Sonya pressed. “You ain’t hustling on the block anymore. You got plenty of workers. So, what the fuck is keeping you in the streets like that, Tone? For the past few months, it’s been getting worse. You used to couldn’t keep ya hands off me. We used to fuck three or four times a day. Now, it ain’t even three or four times a week. Tone, I’m not stupid. Yo, I know you fuckin. As much as you love pussy, you gots to be. You probably fucking one of those nasty ass strippers from that club Eldorado’s whose matchbooks I keep finding in your pockets.”

  Tone laid back and didn’t say a word. He let her get all the frustration off her chest. He hoped that she’d give him a way out. He didn’t have the heart to hurt her. Breaking up was a little more difficult than he imagined.

  “Tone, you supposed to by my man, but you out here sticking dick in all these other bitches, while I’m in school busting my ass,” Sonya said. “This shit got to stop. Tone, you trying to be too many things, you can’t play every angle. You can’t be a baller, a playa, a hustler and a thug! You just can’t, not if you’re my man.”

  Tone was in a jam. He was torn between what was good for him and what he thought was good for him. Sonya or Netta, A or B, choose. Either way, he felt like he’d lose out on something, either way he went. Neither possessed the same qualities, but they both had certain intangibles that he loved.

  “Nigga, just don’t lay there, lookin’ stupid! Say something!” she demanded.

  “I need some time alone. I’m tired of being nagged every day. Maybe we need a break from each other,” Tone said.

  “What the fuck you mean, you need some time alone? What you really tryin’ to say is you want some more time to spend with them other bitches. Stop being a fucking coward Tone and come out and say it, nigga!” she spat.

  “Whatever, man, I’m not going to argue with you,” Tone said as he got off the bed and began to gather up some of his things. He was taking the easy way out. He was going out like a sucker.

  Sonya stood directly in back of him, her hard stare could have burned a hole in the back of his head.

  “Tone, if you leave out that door, it’s over. Don’t come the fuck back, I’m serious!”

  Her words had no effect on him. Tone continued to stuff his clothes into a duffel bag.

  “Nigga, you makin’ a big mistake. Go on, move right in with that bitch,” Sonya spat. “You going out for a hamburger when you got steak at home, motherfucker! What that bitch got that I ain’t got. What she sucking your dick or blowin’ bubbles up your ass?”

  “See what the fuck I’m saying? It never stops. I come home from the streets to deal with this shit? Naw! We can’t even talk anymore,” Tone snapped as he headed for the door.

  “So, what? It’s over, that’s it? After all this time, motherfucker, you gonna cheat on me and it’s just over? Motherfucker, get the fuck out ‘cause I’m not kissing your ass, after everything I’ve done for you. We came down here together, Tone, me and you and we were supposed to stay together,” Sonya said with tears flowing down her cheeks, as she turned her back to him.

  He stopped for a moment, thinking as the door stared him in the face. Maybe, had she ran over to him, begged him, promised not to nag him and promised to let him do what he wanted to do with whoever he wanted, then maybe he would have dropped his bags. But she didn’t run over and she didn’t beg him and she only had two seconds. Instead, she turned her back.

  Tone slammed the door, walking out on the best thing that ever happened to him.

  Chapter 23

  “Why the fuck you keep sniffin’ all the time?” Mann questioned as he laid next to Mimi trying to watch television.

  “Nigga, how many times I got to tell you, yo? It’s fucking springtime and my allergies is acting up!”

  Mimi was getting better and better at lying and covering up her drug habit.

  “Yo, is that shit contagious?”

  “No, stupid! It’s just my allergies,” Mimi insisted.

  “Good! Come here,” Mann said playfully as he used his leg to open hers.

  Mann and Mimi were now a couple. He was serious about her and she was serious about dope. Mann had yet to find this startling revelation out. The symptoms of her drug abuse were everywhere. But Mann was on his grind, hustling and trying to get his weight up, so he never paid any attention what was happening with Mimi’s addiction. He only saw home for what he needed to see home for. Mimi was something he just happened to place in his home. Mann making money took precedence over everything. That was what he most focused on. When Mimi would go on her drug binges, which sometimes lasted for days, she always had an alibi and a story to feed him. Mann unknowingly ate what she gave him, believing her claims that she was spending time with her son.

  On a mission trying to cop some dope and make it back to the house before Mann noticed she’d stepped out, Mimi combed block after block in search of some good dope. She would have never guessed whose block she’d end up on to find it. Black’s! Black was back; his drug business was in full swing and he was getting money. It was like the old days seeing him on the block again. After spending so many years in prison, he had to make his presence felt again, just in case anybody forgot who he was. Black was overseeing his workers and his product. To him, there was nothing like being on the block. Nothing matched all the drama and the excitement. Black was putting his thing down on 21st and Barkley. The takeover had begun.

  Mimi didn’t even notice him standing there. Too concentrated on copping and getting back home, she was busy focused on who could serve her.

  “Mimi, what’s up, yo? Long time, no see,” Black said, walking up on her from behind.

  “Black?” she asked, seeing but not believing. It had been so long. The last time she heard about him, he was in jail with no hope of ever coming home.

  “What, you forgot a nigga?” Black asked, t
hinking of how she used to do her little nasty motions with her legs and lips for him back in the day.

  “Damn, Black when you get out of jail?” Mimi asked, with her cash still balled in her hand.

  “I got out a couple of months ago, yo.”

  Maybe she hadn’t heard, didn’t she know about Netta? Those were the first thoughts in his mind.

  “What’s up with you? What you doing out here?” Black asked, playing dumb trying to throw her into a conversation.

  “You know, yo,” Mimi said. There was no shame in her game.

  “I know what? You fuckin’ with that thing?”

  “A lil’ something like that. You know how that go,” Mimi said meekly, unable to look him in the eye.

  Yeah, Black knew how that went. She was on it hard. It happens to the best of them, Black thought.

  “Listen, I need you to take a ride wit’ me, yo. I’ll make it worth ya while.”

  “You gonna hit me off, yo?” she asked.

  “I got you, yo,” Black reassured her.

  “Alright,” she said.

  I hope this nigga hooks me up with a nice bundle, Mimi thought.

  However, Black was on some other time. Just as she suspected the moved turned out to be the 52 fake out. Black drove straight to the nearest hotel. Mimi knew what time it was before she even got in his jeep.

  Black’s mission was twofold. First and foremost, he wanted to pump her for information about Netta. They had unfinished business. Then, he was going to have sex with her. Another measure of revenge against Netta.