Since age thirteen, I’d been surrounded by emotion, so many fucking emotions. Sometimes a man just needed to be alone with his thoughts, and the only time I could ever manage such a feat was when I isolated myself in a very secluded area, like I was right now. I took a deep, shuddering breath. Fuck. That felt good. With a second deep lungful of fresh, crisp air, I pushed myself, holding it in my lungs until they were screaming for more, my heartbeat starting to race with the need for more oxygen. Depriving myself until I started to see black dots dancing in my vision, I finally let the air out and quickly sucked in another huge breath.
I am my own man. My feelings are my own. I am an individual.
My mind quickly flashed back to the teen at the lake. I hoped he found someone to confide in soon because his depression had damn near smothered me. I couldn’t imagine what living day to day with that blanket of absolute blackness must feel like. If he didn’t find some respite soon, I was concerned for his safety. I could check in with Saige in a few days to see what she’d done with the information I’d given her.
Damnit, Fish. Stop. You’re out here on your own, which never happens. Don’t think about that shit. You’re free... for now.
Grunting, I hiked my pack up on my shoulders and picked up my pace. Allowing my senses to spread out, I tested the boundaries of the town lines. There was a presence, but it wasn’t stronger than any other basic witch spell. It didn’t even feel like a warding spell - just raw magical power. That might just be the town’s potency though. A lot of magical people in one location could definitely let out power this palpable.
I pulled out my cell and quickly typed out a message to the guys.
Me: Out on the East line. Normal energy levels, nothing of notice. Heading back.
Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I turned around and started to hike back to where I’d left the bike. The moon was full in the sky tonight, but not bright enough to break through the thicket, so I was thankful for my fairy lights. Guess I won’t be sleeping. Something about full moon vibes just set me on edge. I might need a session soon.
Pushing my bike back to the road, I hopped on and revved the engine, the smell of burnt rubber quickly invading my nose as my tires burned out. Yanking up on the handle bars, I rode a wheelie before slamming back down to earth and speeding down the road away from town. If I had time to myself, I was going to enjoy it for a little bit longer. Who knew when it would happen again.
We were all sitting in the living room with the television on, but everyone was distracted. Cam was hunched over in one of the armchairs, looking through some paperwork, Kai was lying back on the couch typing on his phone, and Sloane was draped across the other armchair, snacking on some popcorn, looking deep in thought.
“So what was the outcome tonight? Same for all of us?” I inquired, crossing my legs underneath me, my hand rubbing over the rough patterned rug I was sitting on.
Kai put his phone down on his chest and looked over to me. “Yeah, I felt like there was something there, but nothing that would be strong enough to keep anybody out of the town, ya know? I wondered if that was just the town’s pulse I was picking up on.”
“I think you’re right. We would have felt something more if the spellcaster had done the same level of magic they completed around the border in Kingstown. Speaking of, a couple of us should head over there and check out that perimeter and the warehouse, just for an alibi. If shit does start up, at least we’ll have a rock solid cover,” Cam said.
“I’ll go,” Sloane volunteered, which did not surprise me one bit. That mage was the worst at relaxing. He was constantly looking for work, a project, anything to give him purpose. He knew no level of chill.
His eyes flicked to me and held my gaze for a beat too long before looking back to the other guys.
Hmm, he might need a session soon, too. Fuck, I hope so.
“I’ll go with him. I can get a read on the people in that area, too. See if anything feels off.”
“Okay, Fischer and Sloane, head out there tomorrow. Not like we have any other leads to chase down right this second,” Cam ordered, looking back to his notes.
Kai started chuckling, his gaze locked on his phone again.
“Goddamnit, Kai. Are you texting that woman?” Sloane asked, a hint of snark laced in his tone.
“Bet your white ass I am. Gods, did you see her today? She’s a goddess. She’s funny, and she ate my food with so much enthusiasm I thought my cock was going to hit the underside of the picnic table. And that ass.” He groaned and ran his palm from his forehead down to his chin.
Cam laughed and shook his head; we were all used to Kai and his love of women.
“Bro, even Bagheera was all about her. He’s lowkey obsessing right now!” Kai exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
“She is a beautiful woman. I won’t deny that, but there’s something about her that’s throwing me off. I noticed it yesterday when she showed us the apartment, but I figured it was just because I was off my game and exhausted from China and the road trip.”
All of the guys sat up and looked at me now. I wasn’t the kind of dude to cry wolf over anything, so they always listened if I had concerns.
“Don’t keep us in suspense, Fish,” Sloane practically growled, and I raised an eyebrow at him. Not the time or the place, asshole.
“I can’t get a read on her. I got nothing. Zero emotions, no feelings, no colors coming off of her. She’s like a ghost. So either she’s actually some sort of zombie, or she has mental shields on the same level as our boss and Johnny,” I explained, dragging my hand through my hair. I couldn’t get shit off Larson or our handler, either. The training we’d gone through taught us all how to build our mental shields, but those two were masters. Very frustrating.
“Seriously?” Cam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Well, that certainly is interesting. What could she be hiding though? You can read what she’s thinking clear as day on her face.”
“Or she’ll just tell you to your face after she runs her fingers through your luscious locks.” Kai’s laughter boomed, and everyone joined in for several moments before the mood got serious again.
“I’m serious. A corpse might have more emotions to read,” I shrugged. “So, yeah... she’s a puzzle. And I fucking love solving puzzles.” I grinned at nobody in particular.
“What all do we know about Saige?” Sloane asked the room.
“She’s twenty-seven. Owns The Mystical Piglet magic shop. Has lived in Emerald Lakes her entire life. Biggest town she’s been to is Kingstown. Lives just outside of downtown on family property in a cottage. Her grandma lives in a smaller cottage on the back of the property, and they’re very close. Her phone was buzzing today, and she ignored all of the messages. I’m guessing an ex. She’s a green witch, loves all things earth connected. Pet arctic fox, male, named Maven. He’s lazy and cranky, but they love each other. She hasn’t referred to him as her familiar, so I believe he is truly just a pet.” Kai spilled out so much information we all looked at him like he was the Saige Whisperer.
“What?” he asked us when nobody spoke up.
“When the fuck did you find out all of that?” Sloane barked.
“What the hell did you think we were doing when I was grilling, you dickhead? I was getting to know our girl.” He smiled, pleased with himself.
“Our girl? K, do you even know how to have one girl?” Cam lifted an eyebrow, crossing his arms across his barrel chest.
Kai just flashed an animalistic grin, popping his shoulder in a lazy shrug as if to say, ‘challenge accepted.’
Smooth, smooth shifter. Leave it to K. Our girl does sound nice, though. I shook my head and smiled softly. We hadn’t talked about potentially sharing a woman for several years, and when it did come up, we were typically drunk off our asses. I’d given up hope on that dream a very long time ago, right around the time I realized I would never be able to have a normal relationship thanks to my affinity.
Cam’s
deep voice pulled me from my internal thoughts, and I was grateful for it. That kind of thinking could lead me into a dark spiral.
“Okay, enough. Watch her. Fischer, see if anything changes in the next few days. Keep us posted.” Cam stood up from his chair. “I’m heading to bed.”
Everyone slowly started heading the same direction. It was late, and I just hoped my brain would be able to shut off so I could actually get some fucking sleep.
The morning sun was shining through my bedroom window as I changed clothes, getting ready to head downstairs to talk to Saige and see if I could get a read on her this morning. I’d already heard her laughter drifting up, bringing a smile to my face. She seemed like such a sweet and pure soul. I just couldn’t see her as having any nefarious plans swirling around in that head of hers.
Sloane had already left for the morning, something about ‘Operation Oldies.’ When he got a plan in his head, that was the end of the discussion. Sloane did what Sloane wanted, and that was why Cam was our team lead. Cam had a protective streak that could rival a fucking pit bull, but he also had a calm, cool way of processing decisions and scenarios. He never jumped before thinking, and it had saved all of our asses so many times. Thinking ahead, he planned for every possible outcome, and the guy was rock solid. While he certainly had his reasons, he struggled to let go of that level of control and live in the moment. Like Sloane, he had his faults, but I loved them both, well, loved them all, just as much as my blood-related family.
The love I had for my brothers powered my overwhelmed and desensitized heart, keeping me going when everything was dark. Hell, it was what saved me from the dark.
Women, now, they were problematic. Beautiful, no doubt, but also vindictive and fake, and I didn’t want anything to do with relationships. How the fuck could I ever connect with somebody if I could sense every damn feeling that crossed their psyche in a day? I couldn’t, and with me in the picture it made it hard for the others to find that connection, too. Cam once had a girlfriend for about a year, but she wasn’t good for him. I think he just liked the idea of having that kind of intimate connection, and in any case, that was during our training at Radical. Nikki had been another recruit, and they’d hit it off right away. Until she started getting increasingly more frustrated with Cam for not expressing himself enough, not giving enough to her on a spiritual level. That’s when she started fucking around on him.
My best friend had beat himself up trying to be something he wasn’t for that girl, and she hadn’t deserved his efforts. I’d picked up on the cheating pretty quickly; every time she hung out with us, she had guilt swirling around her entire body like a tornado. Then Kai shut the whole thing down when she’d shown up one night without having showered, and he smelled Jack all over her. Cam was devastated, to say the least. Since Nikki, he had thrown up his mental walls so high you’d need full mountain climbing gear to crest them. Not that any woman had had the chance to even try since then. Cam fucked, and that was it. One and done.
I was similar to Cam in that sense, except I tended to find sexual release with men. It wasn’t that I preferred men over women. I liked both pretty equally, but men were generally more straightforward. You wanted your dick sucked? Then you got your fucking dick sucked. No games, no bullshit. Just a mouth, and your cock slamming in and out until your demons were banished for too short of a time.
Fuck. Now I want my dick sucked.
I had just walked into the store when I heard a man’s voice; something about his tone immediately had my hackles up. Keeping my steps quiet, I walked further into the little space, discreetly eavesdropping on his conversation with Saige.
“Listen to me. I just want to talk to you, baby. You haven’t been returning my calls or texts.”
Who the fuck is this guy?
Saige was standing behind her bar with her arms crossed while a blond dude leaned over the counter, talking to her. Hidden behind a display that held different spell books and tarot cards, I started analyzing this guy’s aura. Anger, lust, manipulation, more anger.
Yeah, this isn’t going to work.
“I told you, Bryce. You need to get the fuck out of my store. I haven’t returned your calls or texts because we are done. The end, it’s over, and that is not going to change. Get. OUT!” Saige yelled at him.
Nothing. She was clearly feeling a multitude of things, but she wasn’t projecting a single one of them. Her eyes were spitting daggers, but her expression also betrayed another emotion: fear. What the fuck is going on?
Growling started, and I realized Maven must have been back there with her, and he sounded pissed off. Animals were great readers of people, and this piece of shit was not a good person. Still, I didn’t think I should interfere. Yet, anyway. I’d be here if anything escalated, but I wanted her to be able to do whatever she needed for her own sake. She was a grown ass woman, not a damsel in distress, and I was no brown knight in shining armor.
“Do not raise your voice at me, or have you forgotten how the fuck to behave?” the bastard hissed at her, standing up to his full height. Shrinking away from him, it was as if a switch had been flipped, turning off Saige’s nerve.
“Ah, so you do remember. You were always such a quick learner. That’s what I love about you, baby.”
Mother of the moon.
“Come here. Do not make me repeat myself, Saige.”
His aura was nothing but darkness, rage simmering under the false cover of calm. When she flinched as he reached his hand out, lust shot out of his body so strong it almost made me gag.
Oh, hell no, fuck face.
“Saige,” I called in a low voice, “could you come over here and help me pick out a few things?”
Her beautiful green eyes filled with relief when she saw me there, giving her an out. I smiled at her, hopefully letting her know she was safe so long as I was here with her.
“Fischer, hi. Yes, of course I can help you out.” Walking out through the open end of the bar, she made her way over to where I was standing.
“I’ll be here when you’re done, Saige,” the idiot piped up, and I saw her back stiffen.
Douchebag Blondie was staring at me so hard his eyes were in jeopardy of popping out of his skull. I’ll happily remove them from his face if he wants to push his fucking luck. Saige came up to me, angled slightly away from the threat, but she kept him in her periphery, clearly not wanting to have her back to the enemy. Smart. Her face was red, showing her embarrassment, but she had no need to be. That pissed me off.
“Thank you,” she silently mouthed.
“I’m looking for some stuff to make a potion that might convince someone to be inclined to go out on a date with me.” I smirked, breathing in that potent smell of brimstone that told me Douchebag was about to erupt.
Try it, motherfucker. I’m banking on it at this point.
“Oh? Did you find someone in town already? We do have quite a few single people around our age. But Fischer,” she playfully teased, slapping my shoulder, “you know that isn’t how potions work. We never make or cast spells to take away someone’s consent.” She flicked her eyes toward the idiot behind her.
I grabbed her hand, giving it a light squeeze. She looked back to me immediately, then down to our joined hands.
Not understanding how she was able to completely shield from me, I studied her face. Did I dare to even hope that I might have found someone I could have a normal relationship with? Not even romantically, not that I wouldn’t jump on the opportunity. I’d be happy with anything at this point. Suddenly, I felt the need to get close to this woman. Opening my mouth, the words just spilled out.
“Saige, would you like to go out to dinner with me?” I smiled and watched her emotions play across her beautiful face. Shock, happiness, and excitement danced across her round cheeks and plump lips. I wonder what those taste like? Emotions weren’t so bad if I could watch them like this instead of being pulverized. How is this possible? I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her, wanting to study
every movement she made. Standing there, I stared at her like a fool as she lifted her lips in a shy smile.
“Excuse me, asshole. She’s not single.” Douche had reached his boiling point; I could practically see the fury blowing out of his ears.
Ignoring him, I kept my eyes on the woman in front of me.
“Say yes.”
“I would love to go out with you, Fischer.” She smiled so big, her perfect grin made my stomach flip and my dick start to wake up.
Why am I doing this? What is it about her?
“Like FUCK you will,” Douchebag roared, taking three big steps to grab her around the upper arm, attempting to yank her away from me.
I saw red. Swinging my left fist at his head, I was so fast he didn’t have time to try and block me, and there was an audible crunch as his cheekbone cracked. He stumbled backward, and I immediately advanced. Rallying, he tried to land a punch, but I grabbed his fist and punched him right in the fucking throat. Dropping like a sack of shit, he started choking and wheezing for air he didn’t deserve to breathe.
Ah, there it is. Fear.
I inhaled deeply, my eyes fluttering shut, then a tired sigh puffed out of my mouth, like I was really bored as shit and being put out by this waste of creation. Reaching down blindly, I grabbed him by his hair and pulled his sorry ass back up.
“You motherfuc-” Nope. My hold on his hair tightened forcefully enough to get him to shut his poisonous trap, and I waited until he looked me in my eyes. He was still pissed, but once his pathetic brain caught up with what he was looking at, I saw the realization in his eyes. He withered.
There’s a fucking reason why I was the best at what I did. I was the king at switching my humanity on and off, and right now, I could only imagine what my face must look like. If I had to guess, my eyes were probably solid black. When I shut myself off like this, things... changed. My eyes go blacker than the sky on a starless night, and it’s like the fear that people feel when they cower in front of me fuels me. With a lot of practice, I learned how to control myself, how to keep the beast at bay, and that really was in everyone’s best interest.
The Magic of Discovery: Emerald Lakes Book One Page 7