Onyx: Forever

by J. S. Lee

  “No,” I replied. I had six high-profile celebrity boyfriends whose careers might be over if the public ever found out that one of them was the father. I’d had a million thoughts running through my head and names weren’t one of them. There were still eight months to worry about that. I didn’t even know what sex it was yet.

  “I like the name Daisy,” JongB continued.

  “Next.”

  I looked up to see me being waved over to a security official. I handed over my passport, zoning out as I went through the motions. JongB was excited, and I was happy about that, but I realized I wasn’t.

  I wanted to be.

  And it wasn’t because I didn’t want the baby. I really did.

  I guess I was terrified that I was going to get back from Vegas and discover that one of them would change their mind.

  I couldn’t help it. This wasn’t a relationship. This was a baby.

  I moved through into baggage claim, starting the process of pulling the dozens of cases off the carousel automatically. Usually Sungmin went with the group to the hotel or apartment, and I took the second minibus with the rest of the team after we had collected all the cases. It was the securest way to get Onyx away from the crowd of fans and into a more controlled area.

  LAX was no different. There was already a crowd of fans waiting for Onyx and I figured that while the others were caught up in a line, I would get all the cases together.

  And then, from out of nowhere, JongB appeared wearing a black face mask. Before I could get a grip on the handle, he stepped in front of me and picked the case off the belt. He set it down beside me and then shook his head at me. “You shouldn’t be picking up heavy things,” he chided me.

  I folded my arms, giving him an unimpressed look. “I’m not an invalid.”

  “You shouldn’t be picking up heavy things,” he repeated before swooping in to get another two of our cases.

  I watched him struggling before leaning over and grabbed the second case before he took out half the crowd with it. “At least I can pick up heavy things.”

  JongB set the case down, the tops of his cheeks slightly pink with embarrassment. “I didn’t get hold of it properly.”

  A flash in the corner of my eye caught my attention and I sighed, taking a respectable step back from JongB. The last thing I wanted was to draw even more attention to us.

  JongB had managed to get most of the luggage by the time the others emerged through immigration. He had ‘graciously’ allowed me to get several carts, but he had refused to let me lift any of the cases onto them. Instead, I’d had to stand back and watch, trying not to roll my eyes.

  “You shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy,” Sungmin hissed at me as he and the remaining members of Onyx joined us. The group, like JongB, were all wearing masks, but only Jiwon and MinMin had caps on.

  I shot him a dark look, as Onyx’s second manager Byeon Taeyoon, the second photographer, Park Dongjun, the makeup artist Baek Ahreum, and stylist Suk Eunhae brought up the rear, staring in surprise at the fact most of the cases had been claimed.

  “That really was a long line,” Eunhae muttered.

  Sungmin nodded, turning to Taeyoon. “I need you to take Onyx to the apartment.”

  Every single person in the group turned to Sungmin in surprise. “Of course,” Taeyoon agreed. Although he was frowning, he didn’t waste any time turning to Onyx. “Follow me.”

  “Why?” Jiwon demanded, his eyes locked on me.

  “Kate has some business to attend to while we are in America and I will be accompanying her,” Sungmin replied, calmly.

  “Bullshit,” Jiwon snorted.

  In a move which was almost dangerous, JongB smacked Jiwon upside the head. Somehow, he managed to make it look like he was knocking Jiwon’s cap off his head as he caught it and put it on his own. He hurried off towards the door, Jiwon storming after him. Eyes wide as two of the group were about to head into the swarm of waiting fans, Taeyoon charged after them.

  “And the rest of you,” Sungmin instructed them.

  I’d been clever, keeping mine and Sungmin’s cases on a separate cart. While Eunhae, Dongjun and Ahreum surrounded the rest of Onyx in a protective circle with the carts, leading them out, I hung back with Sungmin.

  “We probably should have told them on the plane,” I sighed as my phone in my pocket started vibrating at a ridiculous rate.

  “And we would never have gotten them on the way to the hotel,” Sungmin said. He took the cart from me.

  Or he tried to.

  “I’ve got it,” I told him through gritted teeth.

  Sungmin’s head whipped around. “You’re pregnant.”

  “You’re the one with a bad leg,” I retorted. After we’d wrapped up the European leg of the tour, thanks to the press, we’d ended up in a car accident. Sungmin had been the most badly injured, needing surgery on his leg, and plastic surgery on his face. Although both were healing nicely, he still had a scar on his face and walked with a limp. A limp which was always more pronounced after being on a plane.

  “I am perfectly capable of pushing a cart.”

  I stepped back allowing him to take the cart properly. He was sensitive about his injuries, especially after his fiancée had left him at the altar because of them.

  As the fans had followed Onyx out to their minibus, we were left to walk through the airport in peace. Of course, the interest was always in the group and not the team who supported them, but it was nice to walk to the rental counter without worrying about accidentally mowing fans down when they didn’t leave a respectable distance.

  “You wait here with the cases and I’ll get a car,” Sungmin told me, wheeling the cart over to a bench.

  I literally had to bite my lip to stop from saying anything. Anyone would think I was eight months into this pregnancy, not eight months left until giving birth. I sat down on the bench as directed, glowering at Sungmin’s back as he walked over to a counter.

  The phone in my pocket had barely stopped vibrating on the walk over so I pulled it out and opened the Kakao app.

  Jiwon: What the hell?

  MinMin: Kateniss, is everything OK?

  Youngbin: Where are you two going?

  JongB: Why can’t I come?

  Jiwon: I swear, if this is you trying to run away again…

  JongB: Says the guy who actually ran away…

  Jiwon: Fuck you, I came back.

  JongB: And Kate will come back. Right, Kate?

  Xiao: We’ll be waiting for you.

  CX: Do you want company?

  I sucked in a deep breath, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard.

  Youngbin: Make sure Sungmin looks after you both.

  I took another breath and started typing. I’m taking the opportunity to go back home and tell my mom.

  JongB: About us, or about the baby?

  Both, I replied. I wasn’t sure how well that was going to go. My mom was pretty eccentric, I figured the idea of me dating six guys probably wouldn’t phase her, but she was still Damien’s biggest fan.

  Jiwon: We’ll be waiting when you come back.

  JongB: Come back? Why can’t we go with you?

  Xiao: If Kate wanted us to come with her, she would have asked us.

  I had to smile at that. There were times when I was sure Xiao had psychic abilities. He always seemed to know what I was feeling and what I needed, even if I didn’t.

  “Kate? Are you OK?”

  I looked up and found Sungmin in front of me. I nodded. “I am starting to regret not asking some of them to come along.”

  “They will be at the apartment now if not soon,” Sungmin told me.

  I held my hands up, shaking my head. “I’m not saying they should come with us. I do think they would still benefit from a break to discuss it between themselves, but I do think they’ll all still be there when we get back,” I mused.

  “Then let’s go so that we can get back to them,” Sungmin suggested, holding his hand out.


  I took it, allowing him to help me to my feet. I followed him outside. It wasn’t quite as hot as it had been in Peru, but LA was warm. I stood in the sun, enjoying the feeling of it on my face as we waited for our rental to be brought around.

  “Kate?”

  제2 장

  Ridin’

  Slowly, I turned to Sungmin, arching an eyebrow. “Really?” My gaze slid over the soft-top roof of the Mustang down the windshield, across the bright red body paint, to the silver mustang on the front grill. It wasn’t even a classic model.

  “I like cars, I’ve always wanted to drive one, and they offered me a great deal on the upgrade for this.”

  I frowned. “This was my trip to Vegas; I should have paid for the car.”

  “You can pay for the gas. You’d have gotten the standard midsize if you had picked the car.”

  I stared in Sungmin in mild amusement. Most of our interactions had been professional so I was enjoying seeing the small bits of his personality shine through.

  I pushed the cart over to the car, remaining unsurprised when Sungmin took the cases and put them in the trunk. Instead, I got in the car. It even had leather seats.

  Sungmin joined me moments later, slipping into the driver’s seat. He gently ran his hands over the top of the leather steering wheel before turning the engine on. A huge grin broke on his face at the sound of the engine turning over.

  Silently, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, ignored the stream of notification from more messages in the group chat and opened the camera. I would have used my actual camera if I thought I could get it out of my backpack without him noticing but seeing as I had two DSLRs and neither were subtle, I settled for the phone’s camera.

  I managed to get a few shots of his excitement before he realized what I was doing. He turned to me, the happiness quickly changing to distress. “What are you doing?” he demanded, a hand going up to cover his face.

  I lowered the phone. “Do you have any idea how happy you looked just now?”

  “I have a scar.”

  He did have a scar. It was buried under makeup, which, although was wearing slightly from being on for the last thirty or so hours, was now the right shade for his skin and hid the color imperfection well. It couldn’t hide the marks in his skin, and I had a feeling that even time wouldn’t be able to do that. But in that moment, I hadn’t noticed it. “I was too distracted by your smile to see that,” I told him.

  “Don’t take my photograph,” he snapped.

  I didn’t say anything, instead sliding the phone underneath my leg out of the way. I leaned forward, programming my mom’s address into the onboard GPS unit. There was no point in arguing with him on this. If he didn’t want his photograph taken, that was his choice and I wasn’t going to be able to say anything that would assure him that I didn’t care about his scar. Not right now, at least.

  But I would work on that.

  “Turn left.”

  The GPS came to life, making us both jump from how loud the volume had been set. Sungmin quickly turned it down and then pulled away.

  We drove out of the airport in silence until we got off I-105. I was busy messaging the guys, who seemed to need a play-by-play of everything I was doing that I didn’t notice we had pulled off until a shadow fell of us. I looked up. We had pulled up at a drive-thru burger joint.

  My stomach let out an appreciative growl. It had been hours since we last ate and that had been unappealing airplane breakfast muffins.

  Sungmin wound the window down. “Welcome. Can I take your order?”

  “Double cheeseburger, extra bacon, large fries, and a coke,” I replied. I looked at Sungmin. “What do you want?”

  “A classic hamburger meal with an orange juice,” Sungmin told me, in Korean.

  The Korean wasn’t much different from the English, but I gave the order for him anyway. We moved to the next window, paid, and collected the food. My mouth was watering by the time we pulled into a bay to park and eat.

  I got the straws and jabbed one into the lid of my drink. I took one sip and then Sungmin had pulled it from my hand and replaced it with his bottle of orange juice. “No caffeine,” he told me, firmly. “You can’t have caffeine when you’re pregnant.”

  Well fuck. This was about to become a miserable pregnancy for everyone. “I’ve already taken a drink from that,” I told him as my eyes narrowed. “If you take a sip it will be just like we kissed.” I’d seen enough dramas to know the significance of sharing straws and indirect kisses.

  Without taking his eyes off me, Sungmin’s lips clamped around the straw and he took a long sip.

  I set the bottle of orange juice down in the cupholder and reached for my phone. “I’m telling the others you kissed me if you don’t give that back,” I threatened, knowing full well that the idea of JongB whining in a group chat was going to drive him mad and I would get my drink back.

  Despite the tips of his cheeks going pink, Sungmin took a fry, ate it, and then took another long drink.

  Kate: FYI, Sungmin kissed me.

  Instantly, there was a flurry of three dots. Meanwhile, Sungmin pulled his phone out, propped it up with the chat open, and then unwrapped his burger.

  Jiwon: What do you mean he kissed you?

  CX: I knew hyungnim was going to steal you away!

  Youngbin: …OK

  JongB: Was there tongue? Because it doesn’t count if there’s no tongue.

  Xiao: And how do you feel about that?

  JongB: I don’t care either way. I’m just saying it doesn’t count.

  Xiao: I wasn’t talking to you, JongB.

  Jiwon: Katie…?

  MinMin: So, does this mean I can kiss you so long as it doesn’t involve tongue if it doesn’t count?

  Jiwon: No.

  JongB: …

  Jiwon: Sungmin, answer the question.

  JongB: Wait, why has Kate gone quiet? Why is Sungmin-hyung not responding? WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? I NEED THE DETAILS.

  MinMin: You are a perv

  JongB: And you like it

  Youngbin: For the love of… whoever is closest to JongB, take the damn phone off him!

  Xiao: Done

  Sungmin: I refused to let Kate drink coke. She had already used the straw.

  MinMin: Are you telling me this was just an indirect kiss????????

  MinMin: This is JongB, BTW.

  Jiwon: …

  Youngbin: Sure, let’s have a baby. What’s one more?

  I could almost see Youngbin slapping his palm against his face in exasperation.

  Xiao: You can’t drink caffeine when you’re pregnant, tián xīn.

  CX: Do not drink coke! Hyungnim was right to take that from you!

  I put my phone down, sulking as I picked up the burger and unwrapped it. “I’m ignoring you,” I told Sungmin, focusing on eating and not the fact he was staring at me with a smug smile. I took a few bites and then turned to glower at him. “If it’s that important, why are you letting me eat a burger? They’re not exactly the most nutritious meals.”

  “Do you want the rest of my fries?” Sungmin asked, offering the half-full box towards me.

  “No,” I muttered, before taking the box off him.

  Chuckling to himself, Sungmin put the car into drive and we continued on our way as I ate the rest of my meal.

  As we reached the edge of the city, I turned in my seat, staring at Sungmin. “What?” he asked, shifting uncomfortably.

  “It’s a beautiful day,” I told him.

  “Then look outside and not at me.”

  “You rented a soft top. Why is the roof up?”

  Sungmin glanced over at me, blinking softly. As a small smile creeped over his face, he hit the button for the roof. There was whisper of a mechanical whir as the roof fell back and tucked in on itself, and then the sun was shining on my face.

  I pulled my sunglasses out of my backpack, and then, at Sungmin’s request, found his and handed them over. Just as I was settling back into th
e chair, he switched the radio on, connecting his phone to it. The next thing I knew, one of the last songs I ever expected to hear was playing.

  “Spandau Ballet?” I said, my mouth falling open.

  “You don’t like it?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I love it, I just didn’t expect you to like it.”

  “I manage a K-pop group, you expected me to listen to a K-pop group?”

  Truthfully, no. I’d already learned through the members of Onyx that they might be in a K-pop group, but they all had different tastes, and not all of them went straight to the K-pop to listen to. I didn’t really associate music with Sungmin. He never had headphones in unless he was watching a film on a plane.

  But if I was going to associate something with him, it wasn’t going to be 80s pop music, especially because he rarely spoke English. I knew you didn’t need to understand the lyrics of the song to enjoy it, but… “You surprised me, that’s all.”

  “Why don’t you lie back and get some rest?” Sungmin suggested.

  “I’m fine,” I muttered, getting comfortable. I was tired. I hadn’t slept. But my mind wouldn’t switch off. Instead, I sat back, enjoying the feeling of the sun on me, and watched the desert fly by.

  I must have dozed off at some point because Sungmin was gently shaking me awake. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to stretch. The roof was still down and the air had lost the humidity, making the temperature a little cooler, especially now the sun was sinking behind the house.

  Houses.

  I looked around, recognizing the street I had grown up on. I was back home. My attention drifted to my mom’s house. It wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small, and it was in a modest neighborhood. The lawn needed cutting and my beat-up car was no longer parked up out front.

  “Do you want me to wait out front?” Sungmin offered, misreading my reluctance to go in.

  Now I was here, I knew what was awaiting me.

  “Come in,” I told him. I didn’t expect I’d end up staying long anyway. I got out of the car, walking around to join Sungmin, and then I paused. “Do you know anything about Vegas?” I asked him.

  “Casinos and strippers?” he shrugged.