by Mandi Oyster
“I know you can handle yourself. But I …” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I worry about you, and I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you, especially if I could’ve prevented it.”
Samantha rolled her eyes and mouthed something I couldn’t make out.
I turned back to Cody, my demeanor softened. “Thanks, but sometimes I’m going to be by myself. You can’t keep that from happening, and chances are that if Alvin tries to attack me, he’ll end up wishing we’d never met.”
Sunlight caressed my skin. The autumn-leafed trees stood out against the cloudless sky. I longed to spend the afternoon outside enjoying myself but, even if I wasn’t on my way to a lesson with Sarah, Cody wasn’t about to let me forget my problems. He was acting like an overprotective guard dog.
As we walked to Sarah’s office, his eyes darted from side to side. His body was tense, and his steps were quick and deliberate. I knew he worried about me and wanted to protect me, but I felt like meandering along. Instead, his hand pressed on the small of my back, forcing me to move at the same speed as him.
We arrived at Sarah’s office in no time at all. “Hello,” she said.
Cody stood with his hands on his hips, blocking the door. “Under no circumstances is Dacia to leave here on her own.”
She looked from Cody to me then back again. “Why? What happened?”
“Alvin and Vanessa seem to be trying to figure out how to get even with me.” I rolled my eyes. “They were waiting for me to show up to algebra and weren’t very happy to see that I had an escort.”
“Oh.” Sarah shook her head. “I’ll have a talk with them. I’ll tell them to quit harassing you.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’d rather you didn’t. They hate me enough as it is. I don’t need them thinking I’m a tattle-tale too.”
“While I can understand that,” Sarah said, “I have to do something, and it’d be best if you didn’t go out alone.”
Cody nodded his agreement. “I’ll walk with her.”
“I’ll be lucky to go to the bathroom by myself,” I muttered.
“What was that, Dacia?” Sarah asked.
“Oh, I’m lucky somebody wants to watch out for me.”
“Yes, you are.” Her head bobbed up and down. “Cody, why don’t you come back in about two hours? If we get done sooner, I’ll give you a call.”
“Sounds good,” Cody said on his way out.
Sarah sat on the couch and grabbed her coffee cup. “Why don’t we start by relaxing? You seem tense today.”
“I’m frustrated.” I plopped down on the couch harder than I planned. “I’d like to get out and enjoy myself, but I have to look over my shoulder everywhere I go. Cody’s so nervous. I’m surprised he hasn’t set up camp outside my door. He doesn’t want me to move at all if he’s not around.” I leaned forward. “I’m afraid for Cody and Samantha, too.”
“Why?”
“Guilt by association.” I shrugged. “I wish Alvin and Vanessa would realize I had no control over what happened to Cassandra and Bryce. And the same will probably happen to them if they ambush me.” I sat back and rubbed my hand over my face. “It’s in their best interest to stay away from me.”
“One of the things you’ll learn as you go through life is that some people’s egos can be very powerful. Deep down, I’m sure Alvin and Vanessa know they shouldn’t mess with you, but they are too proud to back off.” Sarah spun the cup in her palms. “Unfortunately, people don’t always take the time to listen to that little voice in their heads.”
“I wish they would.”
Sarah lifted her lips in a sad smile and began my lesson. “Try to relax. Close your eyes. Now take deep, calming breaths. Let out all of your negative thoughts. I’m going to count backward from five to one. When I get to one, I want you to be sitting next to your mountain lake, 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1.”
My breathing slowed as I sat on the rocks, staring at the reflection of the mountains in the tranquil lake. A fish jumped up out of the water, and ripples made their way toward me, distorting the lake’s mirror-like quality. Birds chirped in the distance, and for a moment, I was convinced I could smell the pine trees. I no longer felt the weight of the world bearing down on my shoulders. Serenity washed over my body.
Out of nowhere, I heard Sarah’s voice, “Dacia, I want you to bring yourself back to my office. I’m going to count to five. When I reach five, I want you to find yourself sitting on my couch, 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … 5.”
I forced myself to come back and face reality once again.
“How do you feel now?”
“Much better, but I wish my little retreat was real.” I rested my head against the back of the couch. “I wish I could get away from everything for a while. It seems like it has been forever since I enjoyed myself or even had a good laugh.”
“I know this is hard on you. I wish it wasn’t your fight.” Her voice started out strong and steady but broke at the end. “But if you’re going to do it, we need to get you trained. I think the next step is to figure out how to control your actions. When you set something on fire, I want you to know ahead of time that you were going to set it on fire and not freeze it or send it flailing through the air.”
A snort of disbelief snuck out before I asked, “And, just how do you plan on doing that?”
She placed two ceramic bowls on the coffee table, and I noticed the table between us had none of its usual décor on it. “This”—she pointed at the dark blue striped bowl on the left—“has shredded paper in it. The other bowl”—she pointed at the burgundy striped one on the right—“contains water. I want you to picture yourself setting the paper on fire and freezing the water. Then I want you to send this ball”—she said as she sat a red ball down between the bowls—“flying across the room.”
I shook my head. “Do you really think it will work? Because, honestly, I think it would take a miracle.”
She sat down and crossed her legs. “I think you can do anything you set your mind to. I know you don’t have a lot of confidence, but you can do this.”
Staring at the bowls, I asked, “Well, if all of your life you were told you were a freak, would you be full of confidence?” I didn’t give Sarah a chance to answer. “Until I met you and Samantha, Cody was the only person who ever believed in me. Everyone else, including my parents, has helped to remove any assurance that Cody was ever able to instill in me.”
“I’m sorry for that, but I believe in you. I know you can do this,” she told me with heartfelt conviction in her voice.
I looked at the bowls and let out a deep breath. “I’ll do my best.”
Sarah rubbed her hands together. “From everything you’ve told me, fire seems to be your go-to power.”
I nodded my agreement.
“So, I want you to picture yourself lighting the paper on fire. Then I want you to do it. Take as much time as you need. Use all your concentration. You can do this.” Confidence radiated from her smile.
I closed my eyes and pictured myself setting the paper on fire. Then opening my eyes, I struggled to accomplish my vision. I stared at the paper and imagined it on fire. Nothing, not even a tiny spark.
“Aaaaah! I can’t do this!” I blew out a frustrated breath.
Sarah reached out as if to pat my hand, but I was too far away. “Relax. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. When you’re ready, try one more time.”
I concentrated on calming every muscle in my body. Then I took a deep breath and refocused my attention on the bowl. Flames shot from my fingertips, missing the bowl and landing on the floor next to Sarah. She set her mug down—sloshing coffee over the side—grabbed a fire extinguisher I hadn’t noticed and put the flames out.
My hand shot up to my mouth. “I’m so sorr
y.”
“You did it! Good job.” She smiled down at the fire extinguisher. “As you can see, I anticipated difficulties.”
“Yeah, but …”
Sarah waved her hand in the air. “Let’s try it again, but this time why don’t you try to freeze the water. I think that will be a little less dangerous. I should’ve had you do that in the first place.”
Once again, I attempted to relax. I tried to picture myself freezing the water bowl, but something kept breaking my concentration. I resituated myself on the couch trying to get more comfortable. I took a couple deep breaths. Then I pictured ice flowing from my hands, hitting the water and freezing it solid. I opened my eyes to find that none of that had happened.
I slumped back and pulled my hand through my hair. “It didn’t work.”
“Don’t give up yet, Dacia.” Sarah leaned forward, folding her hands together. “The fire didn’t do what you wanted, but you were able to call upon it.”
I heard Sarah. I even understood what she said, but I felt far away. I searched through my memory for an indication that I had purposefully used my powers before, but I couldn’t come up with any. They seemed to be tied to strong emotions, nothing else.
Somehow I needed to figure out another way. I had to learn control.
Sitting up straight, I concentrated on the bowl. I imagined ice streaming from my fingertips. I thought about snowflakes drifting down from a dark, winter sky. I pictured icebergs, igloos, and glaciers, and still, nothing happened.
My hands fell to my lap, and I stared down at them. “I … can’t.”
Sarah came over and sat next to me. “You will never achieve anything if you don’t believe you can.”
I released a heavy sigh. “You’re right … but I don’t know how to make it happen.” I turned my hands over in front of me, searching for a clue.
Sarah reached out and stopped them. “I don’t think it comes from there.” She looked into my eyes. “I imagine it comes from inside.” She patted her chest before returning to her couch.
I didn’t say anything. I just closed my eyes and visualized the bowl of water. I pulled from deep inside, imagining the water turning to ice. A shiver ran up my spine and down to my fingertips.
Smiling, I opened my eyes. The table was covered in a thick layer of frost, but the water in the bowl was still liquid. Disappointment pulled my shoulders down. “I thought I did it.”
“No, but you’re headed in the right direction.” She stood up and asked, “Would you like something to drink before trying again?”
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” While she went to get it, I got up and stared out the window at the mountains. Soon the ground would be covered in a thick blanket of snow and travel off campus would be next to impossible. My thoughts turned from travel to Nefarious. How can I defeat him when I have no idea how to freeze a bowl of water?
“You can’t,” a low, deep voice growled from the far corner of the room. “What makes you think you can stand against me? You are nothing but an insignificant little girl.” Reflected in the window, I saw the familiar yellow eyes, but when I looked over my shoulder, nothing was there.
I slumped to the floor. With my back against the window, I stared across the room. My heartbeat pounded in my ears. How could he be here, then not? Am I losing it? With my arms wrapped around my knees, I rocked back and forth.
Sarah walked in a couple minutes later. “What’s wrong, Dacia? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
My voice shook when I explained what happened.
She squeezed my shoulder. “I can call Cody if you’d like to go.”
“No, Sarah … the only chance I have to defeat Nefarious is to learn how to use my powers,” I told her with more determination than I‘d been able to muster to this point. “I need to get this right.”
I took my place back on the couch and drank half of my water. “I’m going to try the ball this time.” I closed my eyes and imagined myself throwing the red ball across the room and into the garbage can next to the door. Menacing yellow eyes appeared on the image of the ball. I sucked in a startled breath. My concentration faded, but I fought to keep control. If every time I saw those eyes appear I backed down, I would never be able to prevail. A force welled up inside my body. I pictured the ball hurtling through the air and heard it land in the trashcan on the other side of the room. I opened my eyes to find the ball missing from the coffee table. I spotted it rolling on the carpet a few feet away.
I rubbed my face. “I didn’t do any of them right.”
“But you used each of your powers.” Her smile was genuine. “With some practice, I have no doubt you will get this. It’s about time for Cody to arrive. Do you want to try again or do you want to call it quits for today?”
“Why don’t we try one more time?” I looked at the bowls. “I’d like to try ice again.”
“Okay, go whenever you’re ready.”
I thought about Cody, Samantha, and Sarah. They had faith in my ability to do this. I let their optimism replace the negativity I held within myself. Then I pictured ice streaming from my fingertips.
I opened my eyes just in time to see the stream of ice hit the water. An ice sculpture of a wave trying to flee the bowl sat between us on the coffee table. Tiny droplets froze in mid-air above the bowl and fell.
“Nicely done.” Sarah clapped.
“Holy cow—” I laughed “—but I didn’t mean to do it yet. I was trying to visualize it happening.” My words came out in an excited rush.
“I don’t know why it happened the way it did, but that was exactly what I wanted you to do,” Sarah said unable to hide the excitement in her voice. “I think you’ll get this if you practice a little.”
“How am I supposed to practice something when I have no idea how I’m doing it?” I rubbed my hands down my legs.
She shrugged. “Well, I guess the best thing would be for you to try to concentrate like you were just doing and see what happens.”
I reached out and touched the ice. There was nothing about it that spoke of its creation. My fire was always blue, but this was just plain ice.
Sarah watched me fiddle with the ice. “This has been a very productive lesson. I didn’t think you’d accomplish quite this much today. I’m impressed.”
“I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s a start.” I tilted my head to the side. “Cody’s here.”
As Cody walked in, Sarah looked at me. Her brow was furrowed, and I could see the question in her eyes before she asked, “How did you know that?”
“Uh … I don’t know.” It dawned on me he hadn’t knocked, and I hadn’t heard a car pull up or any other noise to give his arrival away. “I just sensed it.”
“What did you sense?” Cody asked.
“Dacia informed me moments before your arrival that you were here. I just wondered how she knew,” Sarah explained.
“Stranger things have happened,” he said without a hint of surprise in his voice. He turned to me. “You ready, or you need longer?”
“I’m ready.” I stood to leave. “I’ll see you later, Sarah.”
“Let me know if anything comes up,” she said.
“I will.”
When we were on the sidewalk, Cody asked, “So, how did things go today?”
“You know, they went pretty well.” I gave him a quick recap of my lesson, leaving out the parts with Nefarious. I didn’t want him to think I was becoming paranoid or hallucinating.
Cody nodded. “Cool. I’m not surprised.”
“I know.” I put my hand on Cody’s bicep. “I think I’m beginning to gain some of that confidence in myself. Maybe if I can keep accidents from happening it will eventually grow into a full-blown case of self-esteem.”
The days were getting shorter, so it was twilight w
hen we left Sarah’s office. Cody was on edge all the way back. He put his hand on the small of my back forcing me to hustle to keep up with his long strides. He was rigid and kept an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. His head tilted, listening for any unusual sounds. My spirits dropped when I realized this was how things would be until The Potato Heads gave up or I ended up hurting them.
“You know, Cody, maybe a confrontation would be good.”
“What do you mean?” Cody stopped. “Are you nuts, Dacia?! I’m trying to protect you, and you want to battle it out with them. I don’t understand you anymore!” His face reddened, and he stood there shaking his head.
In the most convincing tone I could muster, I told him my feelings, “Until we do, we are going to be on edge, waiting for somebody to jump out of the bushes. The only way they are going to leave us alone is if I do the same type of thing to them that I did to Bryce.” As I told him this, another solution came to mind, “If I could get a few minutes alone with Bryce or Cassandra, maybe they could convince them to back off. Maybe they’d realize that nothing good can come from this.”
“I don’t know, but it’s better than confronting them.” We started walking toward the dorms again when Cody said, “Do you remember … Oh, never mind.”
“What? You can ask me whatever it is.”
He began again, but his voice was unsteady this time. “Do you remember telling me that Nefarious can control humans?”
“Yes, I do, and yes, I think it’s safe to assume he’s the puppet-master controlling them.” I breathed deeply, letting the air back out slowly. “Thinking that’s what leads me to believe I may need to hurt them in order to get them out from under his thumb.”
He put his hand around my shoulders. I fought the desire to lean into him. With weak knees, I walked the rest of the way to the dorm.
For the first time in a long time, I had a good night’s sleep. The only dream I remembered was one of Cassandra. With her hands froze together, she ran down the hallway screaming. Bryce, Alvin, and Vanessa ran after her trying to figure out what was going on. I remembered being startled for a moment when I saw Bryce’s eyes. They were yellow instead of green.