“You know, over the years I’ve seen a lot of patients pass through here. Do you know what they all had in common?”
This feels like a trick question.
“They were addicts, Viv. I’m sure they had a lot of things in common.”
“True, but there’s one thing that always stood out to me.” She pauses, but I’m not sure if it’s for dramatic effect or to see if I’m going to try and guess what she was hinting at. “It’s in their eyes. It’s the look of defeat when they arrive. That same look slowly disappears over time. When they leave, it’s a distant memory, and the only look I see is of accomplishment.”
“That’s the goal, right?”
“It is. I also saw that same look in your eyes the day I interviewed you. You were defeated. You’d been beaten down. It’s part of why I hired you. I knew you’d give this job your all. That it was going to save you as much as you wanted to save others.”
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I’d packed Phoenix and me up overnight and we’d left at the crack of dawn. I was exhausted, running on no sleep, and Phoenix was waiting in the car. Vivian and I talked for ten minutes, and she offered me the job on the spot. It felt too good to be true. It was the shortest interview I’d ever had and the least intimidating. I always wondered if she felt sorry for me that day.
Guess I don’t have to wonder anymore.
“When Alex walked in earlier, I noticed a change in you. You slipped back into that unsure, defeated woman I first met. I wasn’t sure why until I saw the way you looked at him.”
Sliding to a stop, I wobble on my heels before turning to face her. “What do you mean?”
“When I mentioned Daphne having to leave, it was like a part of you relented to the fact that this was coming to an end. That whatever was going on between the two of you was over.”
“There’s nothing…” My voice trails off, unable to lie to Vivian any longer.
“I’ve known for weeks, Harley. You’ve been on a high, smiling more than I’ve ever seen you smile. It took a minute to put it all together, but the only thing that’s changed is his arrival.”
“He lives across the hall,” I hear myself say.
“And you’re casually seeing each other, I’m guessing.”
“Sort of.”
“And Phoenix?” she whispers.
Vivian is the only person who knows about Phoenix. She’s the only one who knows the truth about my situation. Well, part of it anyway. She believes he’s my son, but she knows we’re running from someone. I let her believe it’s Phoenix’s father so I didn’t have to explain my fucked-up life even further.
“He loves him. They hang out more than we do.” She nods in understanding but doesn’t reply. Sucking in a deep breath, I muster up the nerve to ask her the question I fear the most. “Am I fired?”
“Why would I fire you?” she asks, astounded.
“He’s related to a patient.”
“Is he the patient?”
“Well, no.”
“Are you sharing confidential information with him?”
“No.”
“Is seeing him outside the office affecting your work?”
“No, but—”
“If you’re looking for a way out, I’ll lie and say whatever you need me to, Harley. I don’t think you are, though. I think he scares you. The idea of him. The feelings he’s stirring inside you. Feelings you should explore.”
“He’s leaving when Daphne’s done,” I mumble, resuming my pacing back and forth in front of her office door.
“You know we don’t want to kick her out. She needs help, and that’s why she’s here. That’s what we plan to do, help her. He’s not going anywhere right now.” Vivian’s comforting tone awakens the hope I’ve been tamping down every day just as her office door opens and Alex pokes his head out.
“She’s ready to talk,” he announces, keeping his eyes trained on Vivian.
After everyone is seated again, Daphne explains how she got her hands on the phone, giving up the patient who gave it to her, and who she was trying to contact. I’m not surprised when she says his name. This is his second stint since I’ve been here. He seemed to be doing better this time. His parents are actually taking his addiction seriously. His first go-round lasted six weeks before he was caught with pills in his room. Someone had to sneak them in for him, and I’m guessing it is the same person who gave him a phone.
As far as who she was calling, that surprises me a little. I expected her to say her best friend or even a boyfriend we have yet to learn about. Nope. She breaks my heart instead with her answer.
“I wanted to hear my dad’s voice. I called his cell phone a few times and listened to his voicemail. I didn’t talk to anyone. I wasn’t trying to call my dealer. I’m not trying to break out of here. I just needed to hear his voice,” she explains, her resolve broken.
“I think we can let this slide,” I hear Vivian state. “There can’t be a next time, though. Do you understand, Daphne? If you want to hear his voice again, if that’s something you need, you can find me or Ms. Anderson. We’ll allow you to use our phones as long as you put it on speaker so we can confirm that you are calling who you say you are. I can’t imagine this has been easy for you. Losing your parents is hard, no matter how old you are. What I hope you see is that you have a lot of people who care about you, that love you, and want you to overcome the battle you’re fighting right now.”
Alex would do anything for Daphne. I’m sure he’s made sacrifices of his own to bring her here. To move his life across the country in the wake of losing his parents. My concern is that he’s more focused on her recovery than dealing with his feelings about their death.
That’s why he was referencing them as if they were still alive. Not because they are but because he hasn’t completely accepted they’re gone.
Vivian excuses Daphne from the meeting, encouraging her to join the group therapy session about to begin. After sharing a look with Alex, she nods her head and quietly exits the room.
“Thank you,” Alex begins. “I know she can be a pain in the ass, but I can already see how much better she is. This place has been good for her, and I was worried—”
“I’d kick her out and you’d lose her again?” Vivian interrupts. “Or were you more worried you’d lose Harley?”
Alex opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Chancing a glance in my direction for the first time today, I can see the panic in his eyes.
“Calm down, Mr. Neil. Harley and I had a nice talk out in the hall. I hear you’re neighbors. That’s convenient. And I hear you’ve met her son.”
“He’s a great kid.”
“He has a great mom. One that often cares more about him than she does herself, a lot like you and your sister. Which is why I’m going to ask you to do something a little abnormal for the remainder of Daphne’s stay with us.”
“Abnormal?”
“Traditionally, we ask that families visit more often as a patient gets close to completing their time here,” she explains. “It’s to help them transition back into the real world. Discussing what’s next with someone they love can help prepare them. It fills patients with hope when they talk about everything they plan to do after they leave here.”
“And you don’t want me to do that?” Alex sounds as confused as I am.
When a patient is admitted, we write up a plan for them. What each week should look like. What we’d like to see as far as progress. How we plan to get them from step to step. What actions we take. It feels like we track everything.
Daphne’s plan for the final few weeks included more frequent visits from Alex. Every patient plan I’ve ever written has. We want them to rebuild a connection of trust with the person that brought them here.
Alex and Daphne need that time.
“No, I’d actually like you to stay away for the next few weeks. I want to see how Daphne progresses without you around. She’s hurting, as you can see, from the loss of your paren
ts. I worry that your presence is a constant reminder of them. Let us take care of her, and you can focus on other things. We’ll revisit the topic as she gets closer to release.”
“She has six weeks left,“ Alex states, his words lacking any emotion.
“Yes. Explore the beach. Take up a hobby. Hang out with your friends,” Vivian suggests.
The moment it all clicks, a smile slowly begins to spread across Alex’s face. When our eyes meet, I can’t hide my reaction, a smile mirroring his.
“You two obviously feel a connection. As long as it doesn’t impact Daphne’s care, I won’t stand in the way of it. The second I think she’s suffering, we’ll be forced to make a decision that won’t be easy. Can you both agree to that?”
A decision that won’t be easy.
Meaning I’ll either have to give up Alex or Daphne.
Give up my work, my passion, for a man. One who drives me crazy in the best sense possible. One I crave to be near when he’s not around. My passion for my work is nothing compared to the passion I feel for him.
After agreeing to Vivian’s terms, she dismisses both of us, her phone ringing as we close the door behind us. Alex and I walk silently down the hall toward my office. I have a session with a patient in less than twenty minutes, but that doesn’t stop me from inviting him in. From allowing him to pull me in his arms and devour my mouth before I can push my door closed behind us.
“I’ve wanted to do that since I first saw you in Vivian’s office,” he says as he pulls away, leaving me breathless. “She gave us the green light.”
She did.
In a way.
More like a yellow light. Proceed with caution. Which is what I know is best considering the effect he has on me. The thin line I’ve been treading for weeks feels like it’s been pulled taut, and I’m having a hard time balancing my wants and needs in one hand with my life before Alex in the other. The life I worked hard to build.
I don’t tell him that, though. Not that I would have had the chance. His mouth is on mine again as his hands explore my body leaving a trail of fire in their wake. When he reaches my breasts, massaging them, I let out a gasp.
The yellow light faded to green as I pulled him closer to me, curling my fingers around his blond tendrils, lightly tugging.
We’re a mess of hands everywhere. I’m straddling him on the couch, forgetting we’re in my office until there’s a knock at the door. My body stiffens as I slowly back away from Alex, rising to stand in between his knees.
Another knock and I call out, “Be right there.”
“I like this look on you,” Alex says, a smirk now gracing his gorgeous face. The same face that has red lipstick smudged on the corner of his mouth. “I can only imagine what you’ll look like when I’ve thoroughly satisfied you.”
Wiping away the lipstick with my thumb instead of replying, he grips my wrist, holding me captive for a second before releasing me.
“I’ll be waiting for you at home, Harley. We have plans tonight.”
The promise in his voice causes a shiver to run up my spine. I know exactly what his plans for us are. The idea of being with Alex both excites and scares me. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man. Even longer since I’ve been with a man I cared about.
A quick kiss to my cheek after he adjusts himself and Alex is out the door, leaving it open for my patient. Quickly trying to compose myself, I run my fingers through my hair and take a seat behind my desk, calling out for them to enter.
It’s going to be a long afternoon thinking about Alex and what happens next. Pushing away the fear. Not overthinking every detail. All those things aside, the anticipation is going to be the worst part. Because I know I want to be with Alex.
He can have my body, but he can’t have my heart. Not until I know he’s going to stay.
23
Alex
* * *
Daphne is going to be the death of me.
I was brutally honest with her about what she had done. I had to be. She didn’t see the bigger picture. What she was asking for. Where she thought she was going.
Home should be a welcoming place. It should be thought of with fond memories.
Not our home. Our home is nothing more than a house filled with people who don’t give a shit about us. From the employees to our parents.
Thankfully she fell in line and agreed to tell Vivian exactly what I asked her to. Not that I planned to give her much of a choice if she pushed back.
Then Vivian dropped a bomb on me. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy or scared she knew about me and Harley. The look on Harley’s face told me she didn’t tell her. Concern was etched in her brow as she listened to Vivian. Concern I’ve only seen one other time, when we were leaving Phoenix at the beach with his friends.
She didn’t know what would happen next, and that’s not something that sits well with Harley. She likes to be in control. I get it. So do I. But there are so many things in life that are outside our control, and me moving in across the hall was one of them.
Being attracted to each other.
The chemistry between us.
Chemistry I explored when we returned to her office. When I was able to touch her for the first time without the fear of her pushing me away. I took every advantage and touched every part of her body I could reach except the one place I wanted to go.
I wanted to save that for later.
When we were alone. In my apartment. In my bed.
Which meant I needed to wait hours for her to get home from work. Then a few more hours for Phoenix to go to bed. The thought strangles me as I walk back to my apartment. I’m still turned on from our make-out session and ready to burst at the seams.
Harley is perfect in every way I imagined. If I thought it felt amazing to wake up with her in my arms, I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when I have her there again, naked, and I’m able to draw every ounce of pleasure from her.
If the look on her face in her office was any indication, I’m going to come as quickly as she does. She’s expressive, and those seductress eyes, hooded with pleasure, will be my ultimate undoing. If I hadn’t heard the knock on her door, I would have come in my pants right there with her straddling my lap.
“You okay?” I hear Phoenix ask as I’m unlocking my apartment.
“Yeah, bud. You eat lunch already?” I ask, waving him over.
“Nah. Not hungry yet,” he replies as he bounces past me into my apartment, heading straight for the couch. Once he’s situated, he fires up the PlayStation and begins scrolling through all the games I’ve purchased for us in the last few weeks.
Our little secret.
I didn’t want to upset Harley by buying him games.
“Well, I’m starved. I think I’m going to heat up some leftover lasagna. Want some?”
“Okay,” is all he says, never looking in my direction. His focus is on the first-person shooter game he was raving about the other day. It finished downloading last night.
Watching Phoenix run around a map and shoot people, laughing the entire time at his running commentary, I don’t hear Harley come home. It’s not until I sense her behind me that I tap Phoenix on the shoulder, and he pauses his game.
“Hey, Harley,” he says, his eyes trained on the wall behind her.
“I’m pretty sure we talked about this game.”
Phoenix doesn’t say anything else. He shuts the game down, mumbles goodbye to me, and then disappears out my open door.
“I have a feeling I’m in trouble as well,” I try and joke, standing to wrap my arms around her and pull her close.
She’s not having it, placing her hand flat against my chest and pushing me away.
“He’s not allowed shooter games.”
“I wasn’t aware.”
“You have to stop buying him games without talking to me.” Her firm tone turns me on even though I know she’s scolding me the same way she will Phoenix when she gets home.
“But th
at’s kind of our thing. We play video games and wait for you to get home.”
“He knows what games he can and can’t play. You need to check with me before you buy any more. Or look and see what kind of games he has on his system.”
I don’t tell her that I bought him a few for his PlayStation she probably doesn’t know about yet. No need to piss her off any more than she already is.
“Okay,” I start, removing her hand from my chest with ease and lacing our fingers. “I promise to talk to you first if you let me kiss you.”
“And if I don’t?” she asks, her voice laced with humor.
“I’ll buy him the worst games out there and never tell you about it.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“You have no idea the lengths I’ll go to ensure that he likes me,” I threaten playfully.
“He already likes you, Alex. You don’t need to buy him things.”
“I know that, but I want to make sure I stay in his good graces if I want to be in your life. The easiest way to do that is to take an interest in what he likes. That’s video games. It’s probably a good thing you didn’t have a girl. I don’t think I’d be very good at playing with dolls.”
Harley laughs, throwing her head back, the sounds coming from deep inside her belly. It’s sexy as hell, and I take the opportunity to press my lips to the curve of her neck while it’s exposed. Her laugh catches in her throat, replaced with a soft moan.
Fuck. That sound is even sexier than her laugh.
“We need to slow down,” she protests, pushing away.
Sticking out my bottom lip, I pout at her suggestion. It’s the last thing I want to do, but I also know you can’t push a girl like Harley too hard or you’ll end up pushing them away.
Not going to let that happen.
“How slow are we talking?”
“For now, slow enough where we can have dinner in the same room and you’re not constantly fucking me with your eyes.”
“Oh… That’s gonna be a hard one.”
“Well, if you want something to be hard later, you’ll find a way,” she shoots back, sashaying out of my apartment without looking back.
Half Truths: An Opposites Attract Romance Page 16