by Amy Ruttan
It can be if you ignore it. He’s a surgeon, you’re a surgeon. He’s a professional and so are you.
She shook that thought from her head. Her admiration for him, her attraction to his confidence, his charm and his devilishly handsome good looks was what had got her into this mess in the first place.
When she had been with him she hadn’t felt awkward or anxious. It was like his confidence had rubbed off on her. He’d made her feel desirable.
“When will they arrive?” Emily asked.
“I’ve emailed you her chart and all the paperwork. I’m planning on sending them by air ambulance tomorrow, but Dr. Gary will be arriving sooner. He arrived in Portland last night, when I spoke with him about the conjoined twins. He’s taking the helicopter in. He should be there soon. He’s accompanying another pediatric patient with a spinal injury who arrived this morning. Thank goodness he was here.”
Emily glanced at her pager. That was another patient she’d been waiting on.
Great, he was going to be working with her on that case too?
“Okay. Thanks, Ana. I’ll take care of your patient. Just let me know when you think the transport with your patient will be arriving and I’ll meet her.”
“Will do. Thanks, Emily.”
Emily disconnected the call and then groaned, burying her head in her hands.
This can’t be happening.
After the debacle with Robert, when he hadn’t been able to handle her promotion and her acceptance as a pediatric attending, she’d sworn she would never open her heart to a fellow surgeon again. She didn’t want to deal with professional jealousy in her personal life.
It was awful.
For five years she’d managed not to date anyone. She didn’t trust men. Until that conference in Vegas when Ryan had swept her off her feet. She had been a weak fool and he’d been, oh, so charming.
When Ryan hadn’t responded to her messages about the baby she’d mentally kicked herself for falling into that trap again.
It had hurt to know that she’d been used like that, but she’d moved on. She wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity, she had her work and this baby. She was going to make sure that she was a strong role model for her child, even if it scared her senseless to do this on her own.
Now he was on his way here and there was no hiding her pregnancy.
At least with him in Seattle she could finally get him to sign the divorce papers.
You’re a professional, Emily. You’ve got this.
She took a deep, cleansing breath. This would be no different than dealing with the angry, pushy parents who screamed at her staff because their child’s elective surgery had been canceled because a child with traumatic injuries was being rushed to the hospital.
She could deal with those people with grace, decorum and a firm hand, so she could deal with Ryan and his arrogance.
He might be a neurosurgeon, and he was one of the best in the world, but she was a more than competent pediatric surgeon, who had carried out the most successful separations of conjoined twins on the western seaboard.
She could handle Ryan for a short period of time for the sake of a patient.
Can you?
She could deal with patients and their parents because it was her job. When it came to her relationships, things went downhill fast.
Robert had often belittled her near the end of their relationship. He’d made fun of what she lacked. Differences between herself and others she’d fought hard to understand her whole life.
That moment she’d met Ryan in Vegas it had become personal and she wasn’t sure she could handle him. She was afraid he’d see what she lacked.
He’d see her vulnerabilities.
Her pager went off. The air ambulance was coming in.
Her heart did a flip-flop.
Deep breath. You’ve got this.
Emily picked up her pager and placed it in the pocket of her white lab coat. She stood up and stretched. Her baby did a little scramble across her belly and she couldn’t help but smile.
Yeah. She could do this.
She’d faced a lot worse, a lot more adversity, dealing with her mild form of high-functioning Asperger’s, which meant she’d never quite fitted in. But she could handle this.
Slipping her stethoscope around her neck, she left her office and headed straight for the elevator that would take her to the helipad on top of the SMFPC.
“Teal, you’re with me,” she said, speaking to Dr. Amanda Teal, a surgical intern who was hovering around the nurses’ station, working on her charts. “Bring a gurney and meet me on the helipad, stat.”
“Of course, Dr. West.” Teal ran off. The doors to the elevator dinged as they opened and Emily got on, pushing the button and code for the roof. Her nerves were shot. She stepped into the alcove and waited. It was a sunny day, and from her vantage point on the roof of Seattle Maternal Fetal Pediatric Center she could see Puget Sound clearly and the ferries on the water.
She closed her eyes and drank in the peace and quiet of a late spring morning. Then she heard the distant whirr of the helicopter and she could see the bright orange of the medical helicopter coming across the Seattle skyline.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Get a grip.
In response, she crossed her arms and bit on her bottom lip as she grounded herself to deal with facing Ryan again.
This was just about work. This was about saving lives. Children’s lives, and that was a job she took seriously. There were going to be no pleasantries. Nothing.
As the helicopter came closer, getting ready to land, she moved back to the shelter of the elevator alcove, her short blonde hair being tossed out of the neat and tidy angled bob as the wind picked up.
Dr. Teal was waiting in the alcove with a gurney.
Emily nodded to her, because it was no use talking to her over the roar of the chopper blades as the medical helicopter gently landed on the roof.
Once the helicopter had landed, the blades of the chopper began to slow and the doors of the helicopter opened.
“Come on,” Emily shouted to Dr. Teal as the engines began to power down.
They ducked and ran toward the open door. The paramedics were in action, getting ready to transfer the child to her care.
As she approached the helicopter, she caught sight of Ryan and her heart did a flip-flop again. He hadn’t changed much in the last six months. He was just as handsome as ever. He took her breath away. His light brown hair was perfectly tousled, those stunning blue eyes focused on the patient and paramedics. Ryan still had the scruff on his strong jaw, but it didn’t hide the delectable cleft in his chin.
Get a grip.
And just as she was telling herself that, his gaze went from the patient to her. His blue eyes widened in shock, but only for a moment. It was if he was surprised to see her, like he hadn’t expected her to be here, but she found that hard to believe. She looked away and moved toward the paramedic as she and Dr. Teal stepped up to take over care of the patient.
The only way she was going to survive this was to treat him like every other surgeon she dealt with, at a distance and professionally.
Which was what she should’ve done six months ago in Vegas, instead of letting down her guard and letting him sweep her off her feet.
Maybe because you needed that?
Emily shook that thought away.
“Patient is male, ten years old and sustained a spinal injury while riding an ATV. Patient suffered a break in his spine between C7 and T3. Dr. Gary has induced a state of medically induced coma and hypothermia,” the paramedic said as they slid the stretcher out of the helicopter onto the gurney.
“Hypothermia?” Emily asked.
“To preserve the spinal cord so maybe he can walk again,” Ryan said from across the stretcher as he helped load the patient onto t
he gurney.
Emily didn’t say anything to him.
“We’ve got it from here,” she said to the paramedic.
The paramedic nodded and handed her the chart. Emily placed it on the end of the gurney and began to wheel the patient toward the elevator. She could feel that Ryan was looking at her but she didn’t care. They had to get this patient to the ICU and stabilized. The only things she wanted to discuss with Ryan was work and signing the divorce papers.
That was it.
And now was not the time to discuss the divorce.
Dr. Teal had called the elevator and the three of them got the patient’s gurney onto the elevator while Emily pushed the code for the floor holding the ICU. As the doors shut, she could hear the roar of the helicopter engine come to life again. She wished that Ryan had got back on that helicopter.
Inducing hypothermia on an adult in a traumatic spinal injury often had a good outcome, but a pediatric patient? It was frowned upon.
What was Ryan thinking? Was he this arrogant that he believed he was God or something?
“What the heck were you thinking, inducing therapeutic hypothermia in a pediatric patient?” Emily berated. She was so angry, but it really wasn’t about his method of treatment. She wanted to scream at him for ignoring her for the last six months.
For not responding about the baby.
For hurting her. But she couldn’t say those things in front of Dr. Teal so she attacked him over his treatment choice to blow off the anger she felt in that moment of seeing him again.
Dr. Teal’s eyes widened and for one moment Emily felt bad for exploding in front of her intern, but it was only for a moment, because when she looked across the gurney at Ryan he was smiling. That charming, arrogant smile that had got her into trouble in the first place.
“It’s good to see you too, wife.”
CHAPTER TWO
WHY DID HE have to be so cocky?
The moment he said the word, he was sure that fire was going to come shooting out of Emily’s nostrils and he really understood the meaning of that old saying, If looks could kill, from the way she was glaring at him. But, dammit, she looked just as good as ever.
Her blonde, almost platinum-colored, hair was shorter, but it suited her and he couldn’t help but remember the way that if he kissed her just below her earlobe it made her sigh in pleasure. He’d been a fool to walk away from her.
You weren’t the only one who walked away, remember?
When he’d woken up in that Las Vegas hotel room, he had been alone and the only thing left of her had been the marriage certificate on the night stand.
He’d tried to reach out to her but she hadn’t responded, and by the time she’d reached out to him, he’d been boarding a plane heading to the Middle East.
And Emily had never reached out to him again until he’d received the divorce papers a week ago. That was the first he’d heard from her. It had been around the same time that Dr. Ruchi had asked him to consult on the conjoined twins case.
He’d figured it would be nice to hand deliver the divorce papers to her and put an end to that reckless night in Las Vegas, and also lay her ghost rest, because for the last six months she’d been all he could think about.
The fact that another woman haunted him so much scared him, because he remembered the last time that had happened.
He’d thought Morgan had loved him. She’d fallen pregnant and, without telling him, she’d terminated the pregnancy and left.
He never wanted to get involved with another woman again. Not in a serious relationship anyway. One-night stands were fine, but marriage?
What had he been thinking?
It was a relief that Emily seemed to want the same thing.
He had mentally prepared himself for the worst by coming to Seattle and facing his demons, but he hadn’t been prepared to really see her again, because when he’d first seen Emily in Vegas he’d been a lost man. She had been gorgeous and though she’d been a bit shy, there had been something about her that had made him want to know her better.
He’d fallen for her intelligence, her beauty, her charm, her lack of dancing skills, but, just like every other woman, she’d used him and she’d left.
He’d become used to leaving first. He wasn’t used to it being the other way around. It suited him, though, because he’d been unable to deal with that heartache Morgan had inflicted on him.
Emily opened her mouth to say something else and then glanced over her shoulder at the intern, who was at the end of the gurney, and thought better of it.
The doors to the elevator opened and they wheeled the gurney toward an open room in the ICU where they could get his patient settled and Ryan could reverse the hypothermia and get busy repairing this young boy’s spine.
“Dr. Teal, would you get Dr. Gary some scrubs and a surgical cap?” Emily asked as they made sure the patient was stabilized.
“Of course, Dr. West.” The intern left the ICU room and the team of ICU nurses took over as Emily picked up the patient’s chart and motioned him to follow her. She set the chart down at the nurses’ station and turned to face him, her arms crossed, and it was then he noticed the round swell under her scrubs.
His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She was pregnant and she hadn’t told him? Just seeing her like that caused a flashback.
“You could’ve told me you were pregnant!” Ryan shouted as Morgan packed up her belongings.
“Why? We’re not married and I don’t want to be a mother. My career is my focus now.”
“I have a right to know!”
“You do. I just told you, but it’s done. Now we can both move on.”
He shook that memory away. He hadn’t wanted to be a father, but by the time he’d come back to New York after a business trip Morgan had already terminated the pregnancy and the relationship.
He’d been kept in the dark.
Apparently, history was repeating itself.
And he was scared by the prospect. He just had to handle this delicately.
“You look good, Emily.”
“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head.
“What?”
“You know what.” She looked toward the ICU pod. “That is a pediatric patient.”
“With a traumatic spinal cord injury,” he answered, confused. “I did what was best for transfer from Portland.”
Emily bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “Therapeutic hypothermia is not tolerated well in pediatric patients.”
“The boy is ten,” Ryan snapped. “He’s not an infant and I put him in a medicated coma. He’s old enough to tolerate it for a short time and he’s young enough to bounce back. There won’t be significant loss in brain function that he can’t recover with extensive physiotherapy, which he was going to need if I left him a quadriplegic.”
She sighed and her expression softened. “I assume you got the parents’ permission.”
“This is not my first time performing this on a preteen pediatric spinal cord injury. We’ll reverse the hypothermia and I’ll repair the spine,” he snapped, annoyed she was questioning him. And he realized this argument had nothing to do with his treatment plan of the patient and everything to do with the pregnancy and divorce papers.
She was angry.
Well, he was angry too.
“Is it mine?” he asked, catching her off guard.
“Yes.” She blushed, the pink creeping her way up into her high cheekbones. “So, you did get my emails?”
Ryan cocked an eyebrow. “What emails?”
“I sent you an email when I found out I was pregnant and then several others. There was no response so I assumed you didn’t want anything to do with me and the baby.”
“You assumed?”
“You didn’t answer me,” she hissed.
“I didn’t get the emails, Emily. I didn’t know that you were pregnant.”
Emily was going to say something further when Dr. Teal returned with scrubs.
“I have the surgical scrubs, Dr. West.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said, taking them from the intern. “Can you prep an operating room for me?”
“Of course, Dr. Gary.” Dr. Teal left and Emily glared at him.
“She’s a surgical intern. She’s here to learn under my guidance today.”
“And isn’t it her job to prep the operating room? It was when I was a surgical intern,” Ryan said.
Emily’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll want a resident. Dr. Sharipova is one of the best and most promising pediatric surgical residents. He’s been an invaluable asset to me.”
“Thank you. I’m sure he’ll be great help, but I would also like you in there. I was told that you would be in the operating room with me on this and I told the patients’ parents that the best pediatric surgeon on the western seaboard would be assisting me in the operating room.”
“Of course I’ll be in there.”
“Good.” There was more that he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t want to say it in the middle of the ICU with patients and other staff members around them. This was not the place to talk about their baby or their marriage.
Of course, after calling her his wife in front of her surgical intern that secret was going to spread around the hospital like wildfire.
“Can you show me a place I can get changed into my scrubs and possibly store my stuff? All my luggage is being shipped to my rental in Seattle, so I don’t have a bag or much with me.”
Her expression softened again. “Sure, I’ll show you where the attendings’ lounge is. Follow me.”
Emily could feel all the eyes on her as she and Ryan left the ICU. She was pretty sure that most of the staff by now knew what he’d called her. Not that she could blame Dr. Teal for saying something. It was pretty shocking and she felt bad that Amanda had been mixed up in that tense moment.
She was feeling bad for calling Ryan out and for putting Amanda into the middle of all those emotions she was feeling.