Custom Built

by Chantal Fernando

  “What did he say?” I ask.

  “He said he has a plan and needs a little time, and for us not to worry. Just try to stay safe, and he’s handling it,” Crow explains.

  How am I supposed to not worry?

  As much as I appreciate my uncle handling things, I want my say in what is going to happen. I don’t like that decisions are being made without my involvement. Maybe Nadia was right and we should’ve gone to the police. At least then I’d be able to look my father’s killer in the eye.

  “Okay.” I sigh. “I just want all of this to be over, you know? I’m glad we found out the truth about everything, but it came with a price.”

  A price too high: a life. Something I can’t afford or replace.

  Billie.

  Closing my eyes, I picture her beautiful face, and wish that things were different. She was the sister I never had, the person who knew me better than anyone else besides my dad.

  But I can’t change what happened. And the only thing I can do now is see this through, and try not to let the guilt and regret eat me from the inside out.

  “You can’t look at it like that,” Crow murmurs, standing up and pulling me with him. “Come on, let’s make some dinner. You need to eat.”

  “Okay,” I reply, following him into the kitchen. I go through the motions, but the truth is that with every tragedy I’m changing, evolving, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

  Grief is a monster.

  We cook spaghetti together, and not for the first time I thank my lucky stars that Crow came into my life. With all the bad going on, I don’t want to ever forget the good, and he’s really being my strength through everything that has happened.

  “I love you,” I say, stopping him in his tracks with my hand on his chest. “Like, I really, really love you.”

  Completely.

  “I love you too,” he replies, smiling widely, picking me up and placing me on the counter. “And we’re always going to be okay. No matter what life throws at us, we’re going to handle it. Together.”

  Together.

  * * *

  After the funeral, I go home and cry. No one should have to attend two funerals in the same month. It’s just not fair, but I guess life never is. It’s hard to look at the bright side, or to be grateful that I’m still here, but I need to. I know Dad would want me to live my life, and Billie would too.

  “The speech you made was beautiful,” Crow says as he sits down on my bed. “You’re a good friend.”

  I feel like a virus that just keeps infecting people. “I don’t feel like a good friend,” I say into my pillow.

  “Well, you are,” he says, rubbing my back. “I know you’re going through a really hard time right now, but you’re going to be okay. You will get through this. Tomorrow is a new day, and so is the day after that. You won’t have to relive this one.”

  The thought that I don’t have to ever relive this day ever again is more comforting than I’d have known.

  “I love you,” I say, once again muffled by the material.

  He laughs softly and kisses the back of my head. “I love you too. I’m going to cook some dinner, and then the prez wants to see me, so I have to pop into the clubhouse.”

  “Okay.”

  Once I’m alone, I think about everything that has happened. I can’t just lie here waiting, hoping that this whole situation will go away. When is it going to be handled, and what does that even mean? What’s going to happen to them? I need to know.

  I need closure.

  And I’m not going to be able to let go until I get it.

  * * *

  The words “I need to speak to you” have me looking up into the eyes of none other than Jean.

  “You have some fucking nerve showing up here,” I say, glancing around. Cam is in the garage, so if I call out to her she’ll get here quickly.

  Jean holds her hands up. “It’s your safe space, so I thought you’d feel less threatened. I just want to have a chat and explain some things to you, and then I’ll leave.”

  I eye her. I want to know what she has to say, but at the same time I know she doesn’t deserve the time of day.

  Curiosity wins out. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “I loved your father,” she admits, ducking her face. “I know you probably won’t believe me, but I did.”

  I don’t think she knows what love is. I don’t want her to stop talking, though, so I cut off any harsh remarks and decide to press her further.

  “How did you both meet?” I ask, hoping to finally get some answers.

  “He came into my dance studio. He had a bucket list of things he wanted to try that he was going through, and a dance lesson was one of them,” she explains.

  I remember his bucket list. He was slowly ticking off a list of things he had never done, trying to experience more to life than just the daily grind. I remember him telling me some of the things he wanted to try.

  Indoor skydiving.

  To drive a racecar.

  To run a marathon.

  A cooking class.

  I remember thinking it was cute, and that he was trying to live his best life.

  “And then what?” I press.

  “And then we became friends, and then it turned to more. We went on dates.” She trails off, staring out the window. “He told me he had a daughter, one he loved very much and was proud of.”

  She looks at me. “I didn’t hurt your father, and I want you to know that. I wouldn’t do anything to him. He meant the world to me.”

  I can’t contain my tongue any further.

  “You poisoned him,” I point out. “How is that not hurting him?”

  “I didn’t poison him,” she vehemently denies.

  “How do you know Jasper?” I ask, not believing a single word she said. I heard the conversation. Yes, she said it was Jasper that killed him, but she had involvement in it, too, and she can’t pretend that she didn’t.

  I don’t know how much she thinks I know, but I need to use this opportunity to get some answers.

  “Jasper was my first husband,” she admits, wrapping her arms around herself. “We’ve been divorced for several years now, and once I was out with Freddy and he saw us. And he recognized Freddy. He knew who he was, and he wanted something. And when Jasper wants something, he won’t stop until he gets it. He said...” She pauses, a tear escaping her eyes. “He said if I didn’t do as he wanted, he would hurt Anne, and I couldn’t let them happen.”

  “Who is Anne?”

  “Our daughter,” she says, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “My daughter. Jasper isn’t her father, but he met me when she was a baby, so he raised her.”

  I can’t believe he’d threaten his own child, biological or not. If I ever adopted a child, I’d love that child just the same, and I’d never do anything to harm them. “If that doesn’t show what kind of man he is...”

  “I know,” she huffs. “And I know he would do it. I know who he is. He’s a violent man, that’s why I finally left and divorced him after years of domestic abuse.”

  “So he told you to help him kill my dad or he was going to hurt your daughter?” I ask, brow furrowing in confusion.

  “Yes,” she says, eyes pleading. “But I didn’t do anything to your dad. I wouldn’t. I loved him. I found out after that Jasper broke into his house and suffocated him while he was sleeping. He put the pills next to his bed so it looked like he overdosed. I’m so sorry, Bronte. I now have to play along with Jasper because he’s still threatening my daughter. I don’t know what to do. He thinks I’m allied with him when really I hate him and want him out of my life. I’m in the process of moving Anne to a different college in another state, somewhere he can’t find her.”

  I don’t know if I should believe her or not. She could easily be sa
ving her own ass here, and hoping that we only target Jasper now, not her.

  I’m not sure what to think. I heard her conversations with Jasper, but if she’s playing him, then she would have said whatever she needed to keep him happy.

  My dad was suffocated while he slept.

  The thought horrifies me.

  What a coward of a man Jasper is. I never thought I could hate someone as much as I do him.

  “I’m so sorry about your dad, Bronte. He used to talk about you so much, and he cared so much what you thought of him. He wanted to be the best dad in the world, and he wanted to give you everything. It’s my fault he’s gone. If Jasper didn’t see him with me and thought he had an in with me... If he hadn’t stolen the key from me, the one your dad gave me for his house...” She starts to cry.

  So that’s how he got inside the house.

  “How do I know all of this is the truth, and it’s not just you freaking out and trying to get away with the fact that people who love my dad are now going to want revenge?” I say very plainly.

  “I was freaking out,” she admits. “But mostly because I didn’t want you to think that I did this. I loved Freddy. And I might not be the perfect woman, or person, but I’m not capable of killing someone, especially someone I love. I couldn’t live with myself if you thought that. I have no criminal record whatsoever—if you look into me the only thing you will find is me being brought in beaten and filing a criminal charge against Jasper.”

  “What happened to Billie?” I ask.

  She looks down, swallowing hard. “Jasper shot her. He thought she was you and took the chance. I wasn’t there, but Jasper called me when I was at the studio and told me that maybe I was right, that people are looking into him and know what happened. He’s paranoid now, which makes him even more dangerous.”

  At the studio, so it was a conversation we missed. I don’t know whether or not she knows about us bugging her car and home, but she seems oblivious. That, or she’s just a really damn good liar, which is a huge possibility.

  I try to read her, but she gives nothing away, and I have no idea what to believe.

  “I don’t know what to say right now,” I whisper. “But I can see why my dad didn’t introduce you to me. I would have been able to tell him you weren’t worth his time just by meeting you.”

  Pain flashes in her eyes, and she averts her gaze.

  And for a second, I regret my words, but then I remember that without her, I would still have my dad.

  She leaves my workplace without a word, and I let her.

  But now I’m more confused than ever.

  Chapter Twenty

  A few nights later we invite Heidi over to my apartment for dinner. I make a roast chicken, potato salad, garlic bread and a salad with spinach, feta, cucumber and tomato. I might not be a master chef, but I can make do.

  Crow tells me how he owns the house Heidi lives in. “So you bought it as an investment house?” I ask, popping a piece of feta in my mouth.

  “I bought it for me to have a little privacy if need be, but I never ended up using it because I’m always at the clubhouse. I was going to rent it out, but then Heidi’s lease came to an end and she was freaking out, so I told her she could just move into my place,” he explains, turning the tap on to wash the sink of dishes that’s accumulated.

  “You’re a good brother,” I say.

  “What are you going to do with the house?” he asks, lining the plates up neatly.

  I shrug. “Rent it out, I guess. I was thinking maybe I could so something nice for someone, like rent it out to a single parent for cheap or something. I don’t want to live in it, but I don’t want to get rid of it either.”

  “And the money?”

  “I don’t know,” I admit, biting my bottom lip. “I really don’t. I do know I need to give back in some way. I don’t want all of that money—it’s money off other people’s addictions—and I don’t think I can ever be okay with that.”

  I know Dad did it for me, but I can’t accept that. It just wouldn’t feel right.

  Heidi arrives wearing red tartan leggings and a black crop. “Love your place,” she says as she steps inside with a bottle of champagne. “These apartments are all so new and modern.”

  “Thank you,” I say, beckoning her inside. She hands me the cold bottle of alcohol, and I thank her again.

  She turns to her brother and flashes him a big grin. “So this is where you’ve been hiding out recently?”

  “Something like that,” he replies, giving her a hug. “What have you been up to?”

  “Nothing much,” she admits as we head to the kitchen to pour us all some champagne. “I enrolled into another course for next semester, but until then I’m just going to chill.”

  “You could get a job,” Crow suggests in a dry tone, standing next to me and leaning forward over the counter. “You could even work at Kamikaze.”

  “I don’t have any bar experience,” she says, frowning. “I want to be a doula and help people give birth. I don’t want to serve drinks to drunk, sleazy men.”

  I have no idea what a doula is, but I know I’m going to search it online when she leaves. “If you don’t work, how do you...live?” I ask, even though I think I already know the answer.

  She smiles widely at her brother. “Crow gave me a debit card, so I just use that whenever I need anything.”

  I slowly bring my eyes to Crow, who avoids my gaze. “Really? So he paid for your vacation and everything?” I’m assuming she lives in his house and he covers all the mortgage and bills.

  I realize that Heidi is very spoiled, and that Crow must have paved the way for that. He’s obviously a very doting big brother, and she’s all he has, as his parents live overseas. It’s not really my business how he wants to spend his money and support his sister, but surely this plan isn’t sustainable? Maybe it’s just like the olden days and she’ll rely on him until she gets married, and then her husband can support her.

  Hey, who am I to judge? I have drug money coming my way soon.

  “Yeah, that was for my birthday present, though,” she says, taking the glass I hand to her and lifting it in the air. “To my brother and his beautiful new girlfriend. I never thought the day would come when he’d meet someone he actually enjoyed spending time with for more than just sex. Welcome to the family, Bronte.”

  I almost choke on my champagne, but manage to cover it up and swallow.

  I mean, it was a compliment, right?

  “Thanks, Heidi,” he groans, and looks to me with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “Always nice to know I’m not just a walking vagina,” I reply, shaking my head at him. Just how much of a playboy was he before me? Maybe he just liked a lot of casual flings.

  The past is the past, though, and I’m the one who gains from his vast experience. At least that’s what I tell myself.

  We all sit down, and Crow helps me set out all the food.

  “This looks amazing,” Heidi says, checking out all of the options. “I can’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal.”

  Of course she eats out every day.

  We all dig in and Heidi tells us all about her vacation in Hawaii. “It was amazing. You guys should totally go there on your honeymoon.”

  She definitely doesn’t have a filter, and I find myself laughing at some of her comments.

  “Think we’re a little way off that,” I reply, arching my brow at Crow.

  I would love to marry him one day, but we have a few loose ends to tie before we can even think of anything like that.

  He just laughs in reply. “Hey, you never know.” I do love that he doesn’t freak out about it, though.

  “Tell me everything about you, Bronte,” Heidi says, smiling warmly at me. “I always wanted a sister.”

  And just like that, I know why Crow
gives her everything. She’s warm and sweet and makes you feel good about yourself.

  Hell, she can take my money, too.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “I didn’t know you were so into baking,” I say to Nadia, watching her make up batches of brownies, muffins and pizza rolls. “Can you meal prep for me?”

  “I’ve only just gotten into it,” she admits, whizzing around my kitchen. “And yes, I’ll make all of this for you and you can freeze it, just pull it out when you want them. How good is it?”

  “Pretty damn good.”

  “Where’s Crow tonight?” she asks as she makes dough from scratch.

  “He’s at the clubhouse doing biker stuff. I told him I’m going to have a girls’ night, and I’m sure he wants to spend some time with his brothers,” I say.

  Knock, knock.

  “Who’s that?” she asks, washing her hands in the sink.

  “I have no idea,” I reply, picking up my phone and logging into my security app to see who’s there. “It’s my uncle.”

  After rushing to the door, I let him in and hug him as he passes me. “Hey. Is everything okay? You’re not usually one to drop in unannounced.”

  I feel like I have to ask everyone this more than I should. Any time someone comes around now, I automatically assume that something has gone wrong, and with good reason.

  “I got your voice mail about Jean dropping into your work and I thought I’d come and talk to you about it,” he says, and says hello to Nadia as he spots her.

  “I was telling Bronte I think they need to place a security guard in front of there, because I don’t like how she just walked in,” Nadia says to him, frowning.

  “I agree,” he replies.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Crow mentioned the same thing. What do you think about what she had to say?” I ask as we all sit down on my couch. “Do you think she’s genuine?”

  “I don’t know what to do about Jean. I think you should decide, and let me know.”