Children of a Foreign God

by Pam Uphoff

  “Yeah.” They all turned their backs to the spies and walked away.

  ***

  Ten new gates later, Arno was really sick and tired of the spies dogging their tracks. And his notebook was getting confusing.

  “All right. This is the last world on this corridor. Let’s go back to the local hub, and take a look down the last corridor off it.” He tucked his notebook back in his pack.

  Chris looked disappointed.

  Gior sniffed. “Really Chris, we have to go home sometime. How about one more gate, then we’ll see if we can find our way home.” She turned and stepped back through the gate.

  Voyr followed and Arno stepped through next, walked over to the corridor and stepped through.

  Into a screaming tangle of girls and spies. One man had both arms around Gior, who was kicking like mad and doing no damage. The other had Voyr by the wrist, and was holding her out to his left. In his right hand, a pistol he was bringing around.

  Arno threw his right hand out, like a heel strike from two meters away. The man’s head snapped back and he teetered. Voyr shoved him and twisted her arm away.

  Pig roared through the corridor and dived for the man holding Gior. The blond spy twisted to use Gior as a shield as the dog leaped and they went down in a tangle. The others were through the corridor now, increasing the confusion.

  He flinched at the boom of a gun, and Pig yelped. Arno grabbed Gior and yanked her away from the spy, and onto her feet, getting away from the men . . . which probably wasn't the best idea.

  The spies, each with a pistol now backed up toward the gate home.

  "Enough of that. We're taking the girls and you boys can either like it or die. Your choice." The redhead's eyes narrowed and he brought his gun around.

  Arno grabbed a double handful of heat, compacted it, sent it under the man’s feet, and lifted. Two loud reports as the men flailed. No one hit. Pity they didn’t shoot each other!

  Arno shoved Gior toward the unexplored corridor. "Run!" He stepped out of the way and the whole crowd started moving.

  What else can I do?

  The most powerful source . . .

  He grabbed a big pinch of gravity and threw it as two more shots snapped out. No one yelled or fell down. Or What and Yrno grabbed Pig and bolted through the corridor. Arno backed up until he fell through, scrambled up and ran after the others.

  Through a gate. Ryol was waving everyone through the leftmost of four corridors, and through another gate.

  "Stop! Dammit! We don't want to get lost! Get around behind the gate, hide so they can't spot us if they hunt for . . . us?" Arno trailed off as his brain caught up with the . . . log cabin with the covered porch. "Trader Jack's Dry Goods" according to the sign. There were more buildings behind it, inside a wooden stockade . . . and some really odd . . . animals.

  Not that there was anything wrong with black goats, or small ponies in various normal horse colors. But the large purple rabbits were lanky and weird, and the dogs were all spotted . . . in green, blue, and pink?

  It didn't matter. "We have to get out of sight fast. They'll be right behind us, and they can see through the gates and corridors just fine."

  "Oh, I think you should stay right there." A deep voice, from the man stepping off the porch. A military-looking long gun in his hands, but the muzzle was pointed at the ground.

  "Umm, umm, there are these guys with guns . . . can they shoot through a gate?" Arno could hear his voice rising and he wasn't the only one sideling away from the direct line of sight through the gate.

  A woman ran out of the store. Her left hand raised in a way that reminded Arno of Master Xen's . . . She slowed. "They're just kids." Her gaze jerked to the gate.

  The two spies leaped through, guns out, covering the man. "One wrong twitch from you and you're dead. Drop the rifle."

  The man shrugged off the sling and carefully lowered the gun to the ground.

  "Now. We're going to take Wolfson's daughters," The strange woman stiffened, "and what the heck, the purple girls too, and none of you are going to even think about following us."

  Out of the corner of his eye, Arno could see Ryol nudging the others.

  That's right. If we can get behind them, and run for home . . .

  "What is this place?" The blond spy was looking around with a frown.

  "Ours." The woman growled. But her narrow eyed gaze was on them. "Wolfson's kids? And they've seen us? Damn! I won’t let them put me back where my mother can get to me!"

  "Bunnies?" The man said.

  "No. I think goats. Witches rule and Wizards drool."

  "What are you talking about?" The redheaded spy stepped toward her and she flicked her left hand twice.

  Some faint something shot out and the men flinched, twisted. Three shots were fired, but neither the man nor woman showed any concern.

  Ryol yelled "Run!"

  Arno jerked into motion. The spies were falling to the ground, rolling in pain. The girls were screaming, and something hit Arno and he yelled, staggered and kept going. Shoved Yrno through the gate, grabbed Pig by the scruff of his neck and dragged him through as the gate seemed to be shrinking . . . This hideous black thing crashed into him, then Arno was rolling on the ground trying to get his boots off. His feet were killing him and these weird hooves on the ends of his arms were making it really difficult.

  Just like in the stupidest stories. He pried off the second boot. I've been turned into a goat!

  I need to get back to Master Xen! Fast! He can fix this . . . He has to be able to fix this!!!

  He threw his head up in alarm. Ryol! No, there she was, and Gior . . . and lots of black goats. Easily identifiable by the clothes they were struggling out of.

  "Arno is that you?"

  "Yes!" except all he heard was "Mah!"

  "Mah mamah mah!" I can't even talk! Great!

  He staggered around in a circle, tripped and kicked out of his pants. Thank the One his briefs stayed on! He couldn't see the gate . . . or the corridors . . . He closed his eyes. No glows. No magic. His heart chilled. We have to get back to Master Xen. He turned his head. Yes, his backpack was still there.

  He rubbed it on his sister.

  "What? Oh! Your map!. Good plan. She helped him get out of it, and then pulled out his note book. Looked back in. "Sandwiches, good . . . Arno! Honestly! Only you would have the good sense to bring a gun along, and then stick it in the bottom of your pack!"

  She clipped the holster onto her own pants.

  I should have had it handy . . . except if I’d gone for the gun instead of the push I’d probably have gotten shot.

  Gior walked over to them. "I don't see the gate. The corridor's still there."

  Ryol nodded. "It shrunk down and disappeared. So they can't follow us . . . So . . . we've got an extra goat. Did one of those spies get through with us?"

  Arno looked over the . . . herd. One had no clothes, and his hind leg was bleeding.

  He stuck out a hoof and waved to get Ryol's attention. Tried to write "Pig" on the barely trampled grass. Didn't work, but Ryol caught it.

  "Master Xen's dog has been turned into a goat? Oh, and he's been shot!"

  "Mah!" The goatified dog’s ears shot up and he looked around at himself, laid down and pawed at this head to feel his horns and put on as close to a doggy grin as a goat was capable of.

  "It's not funny! How are we going to get you home?"

  Pig got back up, and his ears started drooping as he looked around.

  "Don't worry. I can see the corridor." Ryol looked around and grinned. "Here Arno!" She picked up his boots and reached behind his head . . .

  Do I have horns? Did she just put my shoes on my horns?

  She grabbed his pants and tied them around his neck, then she and Gior did the same for the others. And then led the way through corridors, hopefully the right ones, because Arno wasn't in the best shape for remembering any of that.

  ***

  Without side explorations and all, wit
h usually barely fifty meters from gate to corridor to next gate, it was probably less than two kilometers to get back to Embassy. Pig limped through the last gate, and raised his muzzle. "Maaaaaah!" He shut up abruptly and started limping for the school.

  Arno contemplated another half kilometer to the school—his muscles were not used to quadrupedal progress, and were aching. He looked back at Pig. Doing it all on three legs. He forced himself faster, to catch up to Ryol.

  "Maah!" He tried to point at her, tap his head, and scratch out "Xen" on the road.

  She shook her head. "I tried. Couldn't reach him. Hopefully, it's just the distance . . . But we might as well get you guys inside and safe before I go looking for him."

  He nodded, glumly. I just hope no one spots us. This is embarrassing. And Ryol will never let me live it down.

  And of course they were spotted. By someone who took one look at them and bolted.

  Scared of goats? Or is that scared of people who’ve been turned into goats? There are those stories about evil wizards . . .

  Gior trotted ahead and opened the school doors for them . . . The chaperones! Oh Crap! All those Priests . . . Yeah, there’s Diuc, looking horrified.

  “Ryol! What are you doing! Get those animals out of the school!”

  “Sorry One Diuc, but these are my siblings and my friends. We had . . .”

  Master Xen burst through the door, left hand raised, a sword in his right . . . he froze.

  “. . . an encounter with some people and one of them threw these spells. Gior and I were the first through the gate, then everyone else who came through was . . . changing.” Ryol swallowed. “Then the gate shrunk down and disappeared and we came back as fast as we could.”

  “Right.” Xen walked up to the nearest goat. “Chain spell, and the goat transformation . . . well . . . if there’s a trap on the goat spell, I can’t feel it through the Chain. And the Chain spell has to have a handle, so it can be manipulated. I need to figure out that handle to get it off.

  “It’ll be a word, or a short phrase, a gesture, or a hard emotional response. Was the wizard saying anything odd as he threw the spells?” He glanced from Ryol to Gior.

  “I think it was the Witch throwing the spells.” Gior squirmed. “I was busy running.”

  Ryol nodded. “I was watching the spies, hoping for a chance to run.”

  Arno thought back, and shouldered through the herd. “Mah!” He stuck out a hoof and started writing, so to speak.

  “W. I. T. Witch? Witches?” Xen knelt down watching his hoof. “Rule. Wiz . . . Wizards drool?”

  “Mah!”

  The man reached out and touched his neck . . . and everything flooded back in. Everyone brighter, even the building had some extra something. But . . . Those dark spots . . . Oh, all the other goats.

  “And . . . I don’t see a trap, just a basic goat spell, with no behavior modifiers, I’m delighted to say. So . . .”

  “Ma . . .ow!” His shoes hit the floor and his fingers hurt . . . and his briefs were still there, which was embarrassing enough, but it could be worse . . . “Ow! Man that hurts!” he lifted his pants over his head, jerked the knot loose and pulled them on.

  Master Xen squeezed his shoulder “Good job remembering that phrase. Your witch was young enough that she’d not realized she should not say that out loud.” He stood up and looked around. “Right. Who’s next?”

  “Mah!” One goat turned and bolted for the girl’s wing.

  “Oh, right. All the girls down there, please . . . hmm, you three must be Deliah, Marion, and Vanna. Even the goat spell can’t completely cover the purple.” He padded away on bare feet, bare-chested, following them down the corridor, the three female priests crowding after.

  I guess he’d quit for the day . . . and whoever saw us went straight to him.

  Arno peeled himself off the floor and staggered over to a table and sat down. “Oh my aching bones and muscles.”

  A little zing as someone came up behind him . . . “Aunt Rael!” Oops, messy hair, tee shirt inside out. Out of breath, because she ran here from . . . his house? Uhhh . . . none of my business what they were doing when someone interrupted, right?

  Then Master Xen was back and there were boys rolling around on the floor, and hastily getting dressed.

  Ryol slipped over, one hand up to her face to block the view of half-naked half-goats and grabbed Aunt Rael and hauled her down to Ryol’s room. They were back quickly, shirt right-side out and hair brushed. Lala, Voyr, and the purple girls peeked out and stayed away until the boys were all decent again.

  Xen waved them all over to the tables. “So . . . who wants to start?”

  Arno shrugged, winced. Oww, poor abused shoulder muscles! “When we headed for the Maze, there were these two men.”

  “They’re with our embassy. The Intel officer and one of his men.” Mahmud chipped in. “They followed us through the maze.”

  “We were going to check where one last corridor went, off a hub,” Gior huffed, “then head home. I went through a corridor to that hub with Voyr and they grabbed us.”

  Voyr nodded. “They were pulling us back toward the way home—I think they were going to just slip away and make us disappear. But Arno came through and the one who was dragging me pulled a gun out!”

  “I hit him with a push. And then Pig jumped at the guy with Gior and, well, it turned into a big tangle and we ran off through the corridor we hadn’t explored yet. I grabbed Gior and Yrno and Jay grabbed Pig—they’d shot him—and we got through the corridor and jumped through the next gate, and we were going to dodge when we realized there were people there.”

  “The sign said Trader Jack’s Dry Goods.” Jay rubbed his head, as if checking that there weren’t any horns. “A man and a woman. And a whole bunch of weird animals.”

  “I don’t know of any stores . . .” Master Xen nodded suddenly. “Jack Hemmingway and Arrow. And the Action Team traitors Q turned into animals. So . . . I figured they’d surface sooner or later. Tell me what they said.”

  Arno closed his eyes and tried to remember the whole debacle. Probably less than two minutes, all totaled. He described it as best he could.

  Xen looked thoughtful. “So Arrow’s afraid of her mother. Very sensible of her. That explains why she violated her parole. And the Discordian Intel agents, did they make it through the gate before it closed?”

  They all shook their heads.

  A quick flash of a grin. “Good. I’ll deal with them later. Right now . . . I think I’ll see what various polities want to do with or to Hemmingway, Arrow, and those metamorphosed teamers. And then I’ll have to try to find them.”

  Master Xen stepped over to the door and opened it for The Kitchen waitresses to troop in carrying trays. They fell on the food like starving wolves, and Arno wasn’t the only one yawning and thinking about going to bed early.

  “Can we just . . . not mention any of this?” Joel Taxus looked beseechingly at Master Xen.

  “Yeah! We don’t want to explain! Especially about the Intel guys.” Mahmud grinned. “Or we could say they followed us into the Maze, and we lost them somewhere in there.”

  Master Xen grinned. “Certainly. If your ambassador brings it up, I’ll assure him that I’ll look for them. And there were no goats.”

  They all looked relieved and slipped out quietly to go home.

  Arno thought that over, and shook his head. I’m not ready to go home. This is weird, but really, really interesting. Bubbles, gravity power . . . and yeah, goats.

  He looked over at Pig, back in dog form. “So the goat spell works on dogs? And injuries in one form carry over to the new form?”

  “Yep.” Xen reached down and pet the mutt. “But it wasn’t too serious, and a quick healing spell’s all that he needed.”

  Yrno walked up and eyed the sword Xen had set down. “Is that the sword you used during the Assassination Attempt?”

  “No, but quite similar. I think my old sword is in a museum or some such.” He
grinned. “Go ahead and pick it up. Be careful, it’s sharp.”

  “Razor sharp?”

  “No. A razor edge is too easily damaged. This is made for staying serviceable through a long battle. Then get cleaned up and resharpened and back to another battle. That one’s . . . never drawn blood. Huh. I don’t remember the last time I was in a sword fight.”

  “Can you teach me? Us?”

  “Sure. I’ll bring practice swords tomorrow.” Master Xen grinned. “If you can get out of bed tomorrow. Perhaps I should teach you all some pain killer spells. For now, who would like me—or Rael—to throw one on you?”

  Arno raised his hand . . . and the pain faded away.

  “Don’t do anything too vigorous, it’ll wear off in the morning. Do stretches, and walk. Only run if you’re feeling good.”

  I think it’s going to take more than a good night’s sleep for my muscles and bones to stop aching.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Sending a Message

  “Oh, Lon? Could I have a brief talk with you, Farid, and Noah?” Xen tried to keep his voice neutral.

  Lon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course. Does anyone else have any business to bring up? Good. The rest of you go away.”

  The poor man glanced around between the three of them as Xen shut the door firmly behind the last man out.

  “So.” Xen eyed the two Discordians. “Have you spoken to your sons about their little adventure yesterday?”

  Double growls and clenched teeth.

  “I see you have. Perhaps your ambassador needs a gentle mention that whatever his Intel Agents were up to had best not be repeated, and assure him that I should be able to locate them in a week or two.”

  Xen looked over at the patient Lon. “I think they were trying to kidnap some of the young girls.” He looked back at the two Discordians. “Which your sons had nothing to do with, and in fact assisted getting the girls away from the agents.

  “However, Lon, the kids were out exploring the Maze and found two people who, from the descriptions, are probably Jack Hemmingway and Arrow Albdaut. And a bunch of odd animals that are probably the people missing from the Granite Peak mess.