"What do you mean?"
"I have no doubt you love me, Sebastian. No one will ever love me the way you do, but that love is dangerous." Hudson brushed his fingers down Seb's stubbly jaw. The love he felt for this man was frightening at times. "You can't go around beating the pulp out of everyone who poses a threat to me. What if Sparks hadn't been there? What if... what if you'd killed Trent?"
Seb straightened. "You make me sound like some kind of monster. I'd never murder anyone."
"When my life is in danger, you lose yourself to your feral half. You allow him to take control. It terrifies me. How far would he go to protect me?" He met Seb's gaze, pleading for him to understand. "Something needs to change, Sebastian. If this is going to work, we need to change. I have to learn to lean on you, and you have to learn to take a step back and let me deal with uncomfortable situations."
Seb opened his mouth to reply, but Hudson placed his fingers to Seb's lips.
"I'm not asking you to step away completely. You're my mate, and you need to protect me, I understand, but if you come to my rescue for every little thing, it makes me feel weak, as if I can't take care of myself. All my life, I've been coddled, by my parents, my brothers and sisters. I don't want that from you. I need you to have faith in me."
Seb frowned, taking Hudson's hand and tenderly moving it away from his mouth. "I didn't know I made you feel that way."
"Not you, your actions, and although they come from a good place, it hurts me, hurts us."
"I'm sorry. I'll try harder." Seb lowered his head, but Hudson cupped his face, lifting it so he could place his lips to Seb's.
"We'll try harder. We're in this together, remember? I love you."
Seb's smile took Hudson's breath away. "I love you too, Lobito." He drew Hudson into his heavenly embrace, and Hudson closed his eyes, basking in Seb's warmth. He loved Seb's strength, loved how safe it made him feel, how loved and protected, but that didn't mean Hudson couldn't be strong enough for the both of them too. As he snuggled against Seb, inhaling his scent, he tried to think less about the madness around him and concentrated on the one thing that mattered most. He had his Sebastian back. Hudson smiled despite his worries. He'd spent so long living in the past; he couldn't wait to get started on their future.
"YOU'RE SMILING like a loon," Hudson muttered, tapping away at his tablet.
Inside he was as giddy as Nina, but he was hardly about to start giggling like some preteen with their first crush. He was determined to perform his duties as if nothing had changed. Word of his and Seb's reconciliation seemed to have spread through Unit Alpha like wildfire. Hudson was certain a gummy-bear-eating scoundrel was behind it. The man was a worse gossip than the tabloids, especially when he was excited about something. Hudson couldn't be upset, though; Dex had been so ridiculously happy for him. So had the rest of their unit, judging by all the smiles he'd received since arriving at work this morning. And what a morning it had been!
Hudson was still reeling from waking up in Seb's bed. He woke ten minutes before his alarm went off, like he always did, but this time was different. This time, when he turned, a lump formed in his throat at the beautiful sight before him. Seb lay asleep, long lashes against his cheeks, full lips slightly parted. He had one arm thrown over Hudson's waist, holding him close. Hudson studied his face, the barely there freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks, the dark stubble on his chiseled jaw. He couldn't keep from reaching out. He ran a thumb across one thick, dark eyebrow, and Seb moaned softly. He opened his eyes slowly, his lips spreading into a beautiful smile.
"Good morning, darling."
Seb pulled him closer and kissed the tip of his nose. "Great morning, Lobito."
That had been followed by Seb pouncing on him, the incredible sex waking him up like no amount of caffeine ever could.
Hudson let out a sigh before he could help himself, and Nina laughed at him, grabbing his arm and shaking him. So much for going on as if nothing had changed.
"Why are you trying to tear my arm off? Honestly, Nina. We're at a crime scene."
Nina rolled her eyes. "Fine. Pretend you're not squealing like a schoolgirl inside. Besides, we're all done here. Vic's on their way to the lab." She released him, and he scrunched up his nose. He was not squealing like a schoolgirl inside. His dreamy sigh was very adultlike.
A lovely breeze washed over Hudson as he stood downwind. It felt good against his face. Then a scent struck him from out of nowhere, sending a jolt of familiarity through him. He reeled back, his heart threatening to beat out of him. Sniffing the air, his lungs filled with the unmistakable scent, but it wasn't possible.
"Hudson?"
Hudson shook his head. It couldn't be. No. Not again.
The first time he'd smelled it, he told himself it was a mistake, a result of stress and sleepless nights. He'd been recovering from several gunshot wounds, followed by nightmares of that evening, and with everything going on with Seb, his mind conjured up the one scent he would have given anything to have again. Only there was no comfort this time, because there was no possible way this could be happening. His feral half woke, its fur bristling and fangs bare. It was confused, frightened, and angry. So much had happened in such a short time, and now this. He was feeling overwhelmed suddenly.
Hudson's vision sharpened, and his breath quickened into harsh pants. Oh God.
"Hudson, what's wrong?" Nina tried to get close, but he snarled at her, backing up near the shop door behind him. His body screamed in agony, and he wrapped his arms around himself. He was shivering, and darkness encroached on his vision. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to him.
Before the darkness claimed him, he heard Nina's panicked voice.
"Seb, Hudson's going feral!"
SEB WAS pretty sure he'd broken every traffic law in existence. He didn't care. The lights on his Suburban flashed, the siren howling his approach as he sped through the city to get to Hudson. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but in all the years he'd known Hudson, his little wolf had never, ever lost himself to his feral half. Hell, Hudson might throw a tantrum and get pissy, but he never lost control. Period.
According to Nina's panicked phone call, they'd been out on a routine callout. Nothing to warrant Hudson losing it. To make things worse, Hudson wasn't responding to anyone. Not to Nina, and not to any of the members of Destructive Delta who'd been on scene and about to head back to HQ when Hudson ran into the cafe and started stripping. The team cleared the area, and after Hudson snarled at Nina and almost bit Ash, Sloane locked him inside the cafe. It had to be bad when the team remained outside. Seb was grateful Sloane hadn't given the order to tranq Hudson. Not yet, anyway.
Seb pulled the Suburban up near Destructive Delta's BearCat, turned off the engine, and darted from the car. He hurried over to Sloane, and laid a hand on his shoulder when he got there.
"How is he?"
Sloane pointed to the cafe's glass door. "Have a look."
Seb gave a start when Hudson threw himself against the glass, snarling and baring his fangs. He'd shifted into his feral form, all bristling fur and sharp teeth.
"Shit." Seb turned to Nina. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't know." Nina ran a hand through her hair. "One minute we were talking like normal, and the next he was going feral. Nothing like this has ever happened with him. Is he going to be okay?"
Seb turned to Sloane. "I'm going in."
"Seb, I don't...." Sloane hesitated, and Seb pulled him aside, speaking quietly.
"He's my mate, Sloane. You would do the same for Dex."
Sloane thought about it briefly before nodding. "Okay. But if things go south, I need to know you'll be able to tranq him. We can't let him out on the streets like this."
"You know what you're asking of me?"
Sloane clenched his jaw, his amber eyes intense as he met Seb's gaze. "Yeah, actually I do."
The answer was unexpected, but Seb didn't question him. Clearly Sloane did know what he was asking,
and at some point, either he or Dex had been in a similar position. If it meant saving Hudson from hurting himself or someone else, then Seb would do it. It might kill him, but he'd do it.
"You have my word. And thank you"--he patted Sloane's shoulder--"for understanding."
Sloane nodded. He motioned for Ash to open the door, and Seb quickly slipped in the moment it was unlocked. At the far corner of the trendy little cafe, Hudson was in his wolf form, beautiful and lethal. A sleek, gray wolf with stunning blue eyes. He was also extremely pissed at being locked up in here. His ears were pointed forward, his canines bared, and his fur bristled. He had his neck arched, head up, and tail held high. Hudson was ready to strike.
"Lobito, it's me. It's Seb." Slowly he placed his hands up in front of him and edged closer, taking care not to make any sudden movements. Hudson growled and snapped his jaws, saliva flying as he snarled at Seb. "Come on, baby. Come back to me." Seb stayed exceptionally still. Hudson sniffed the air, and he started pacing. Okay, they were clearly not getting anywhere. He wasn't responding. Maybe if....
Seb slowly edged away, making sure not to give his back to Hudson or move his gaze away. Hudson might not have sharp claws like a Felid, but his jaws were powerful, his teeth capable of shredding through Human flesh.
Gingerly Seb removed one piece of clothing at a time and laid them on a chair beside him. Hudson lowered his head, watching him as he undressed. At least he wasn't snarling at Seb. Once Seb was naked, he breathed in deep through his nose and let it out slowly through his mouth. He gritted his teeth and willed his body to change, inviting his feral half to come out. The first bone popped, and Seb sucked in a sharp breath. Physical pain was a constant in Seb's life, but shifting into his tiger Therian form was a different kind of pain altogether. He grunted as more bones popped out of place, and his muscles pulled and contracted, his mass changing as his body tore itself apart to piece itself back together.
Blackness encroached on his vision, but he remained focused on Hudson, who paced from one end of the cafe to the other, releasing a small whine.
Soon, baby, soon.
Fur pierced Seb's skin, and the agony in his face as his skull elongated had him screaming. Claws cut through the skin at his fingertips, and his body trembled as he curled in on himself, another cry tearing from his throat as his tail bone sliced open his flesh, growing out. Seb landed on his paws, his vision sharp and his sense of smell picking up the subtlest of scents. His transformation complete, he shook himself from nose to tail. He opened his mouth wide, and stretched his long, muscular body, spreading his toes and twitching his tail. Done stretching, he sat on his haunches and chuffed.
Across from him, his mate paused, flattening his ears back and narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Seb flattened his ears, rotating them back before wrinkling his nose and letting out a long, low roar followed by a series of short, low roars for his mate. Hudson whined, his head perking up and his tail slowly moving. He released a bark-howl, and Seb roared again, calling his mate to him. Hudson bounced over, tail wagging. He stopped in front of Seb and lowered to his front paws, butt in the air as his tail wagged. His Lobito let out a series of howls, and although Seb couldn't understand--what with Hudson being a Canid and not Felid--he knew his Lobito was happy to see him.
Seb mewled at him, and Hudson licked at Seb's muzzle before nuzzling Seb's fur under his chin. Seb lay down, front paws spreading as Hudson lay down against him. Hudson rolled onto his back, paws up in the air, whining and licking up at Seb's chin, pawing at him. His mate had returned to him.
Seb threw one massive paw over Hudson's chest and nuzzled him before grooming him, his broad tongue cleaning Hudson's soft fur. His Lobito made happy noises as he wiggled beneath him, his tail wagging joyously.
"You two are freaking adorable."
Hudson rolled onto his belly, his tail wagging for Dex. Seb pushed his nose against Hudson's cheek, and Hudson jumped to his feet, bounding over to Dex and howling playfully. Dex crouched down, laughing when Hudson licked at his face.
"Yeah, I'm happy to see you too, buddy. You scared us for a second there."
Hudson was so playful and beautiful. Seb pushed up to his paws and trotted over to knock his head against Dex's side.
"Don't be jealous," Dex teased, scratching Seb behind his ear. Seb loved a good ear scratch. "All right, let's get you two in the back of the BearCat before the news crews get wind of this." He held the door open, and Seb dashed outside. Hudson sped out, running circles around him, howling and bouncing. He wanted to play.
Seb chuffed and pounced, swatting at him, his claws sheathed. Hudson ducked and dodged, releasing a series of barking-howls as Seb sat up on his haunches, front paws up in the air. Hudson ran and tackled him. They both fell over, wrestling and nipping playfully.
"All right, you two," Sloane said with a chuckle. "In the truck."
Seb got up as Hudson stilled. He sniffed the air and let out a low, mournful wail of a howl that had Seb moaning from the pain it caused his heart. Everyone stilled, their compassionate gazes on Hudson. Therians might not always be able to understand each other when in their Therian forms, but even in their Human forms they understood the sound of anger, pain, loss.... His Therian friends could feel the heartache in Hudson's howl. When Hudson was done, he hung his head, and Seb quickly joined him, licking his muzzle before rubbing his face against Hudson's fur, offering comfort. His Lobito's soft whines broke Seb's heart.
The doors to the BearCat opened, and Seb nudged Hudson. Reluctantly, Hudson padded over to the truck. He hopped up with ease, and Seb followed, then plopped his huge tiger butt beside the bench where the team sat. Hudson curled up between Seb's front paws, as close to Seb as he could get, his paws covering his head, and his tail hiding what his paws couldn't.
"What's wrong with him?" Dex asked worriedly.
Nina crouched beside Hudson and gently stroked his fur. "I don't know, but I think it has something to do with what made him go feral."
"He was sniffing the air just now," Cael said. "Do you think it's whatever he smelled?"
Hudson lifted his head and howled mournfully.
"I guess that's a yes," Sloane murmured. "But there has to be more to it. We don't go feral just from a scent. Something else happened." He turned to Ethan. "Why don't you help your brother shift back and give him PSTC after Nina helps Hudson."
Hudson stood, turning his head to poke his tongue out and lick Seb's muzzle before he slinked off after Nina. The screen dropped, and Seb raised his head to look at his baby brother. He chuffed, and Ethan smiled. He kneeled in front of Seb before throwing his arms around Seb's neck. His sweet little brother.
Seb closed his eyes, content as Ethan held him and ruffled his fur. He exhaled a purr and was rewarded with a scratch behind the ears. Hudson's painful howl caused Seb's ears to flatten and his tail to twitch. He moaned and groaned, feeling his mate's pain as he shifted back to Human form. When Hudson was done and dressed, Nina helped him around the screen, and he stopped in front of Seb, his touch gentle as he brushed his fingers through Seb's fur. Nina helped him sit, and Seb got up and put his head in Hudson's lap with a chuff. Hudson smiled, but he was sad. It coursed through him, and therefore through Seb. He moaned, and Hudson placed a kiss to the top of Seb's head.
Ethan tapped his leg, and Seb reluctantly left his Lobito. He followed Ethan behind the screen, turning his focus from his mate to shifting his form. He willed his body to change, releasing a roar as the transformation began, bones popping, stretching, muscles contorting under his skin, his fur drawing in along with his claws and fangs. The pain was blinding, and Seb shut his eyes tight, his jaw clenched as his mass morphed from tiger to man. When it was done, he trembled. He was cold and only strong enough to stand with Ethan's help. His brother tapped his shoulder, and Seb gripped him tightly, holding on as Ethan held his boxer briefs out for Seb to step into.
PSTC was generally reserved for partners, family, and lovers, and although most Therians didn't thi
nk anything of being naked in front of strangers--considering it was a prerequisite to shifting--Post Shift Trauma Care was different. It was an intimate act, though by no means a sexual one. Shifting to Human form left a Therian at their most vulnerable, a difficult position for any Therian to be in, which was why most Therians preferred someone they trusted to see them this way and to perform PSTC. Ethan helped Seb back into his uniform, doing up his buttons for him, his expression one of concentration. Once Ethan tied Seb's shoelaces, he straightened and smiled that crooked, boyish grin before kissing Seb's cheek. Seb chuckled, throwing his arm around Ethan's shoulders and heading back out to join the others.
They'd need to pick up some meat on their way back to HQ, but for now the Gatorade and protein bars would have to do. His strength slowly returned, and Seb crouched beside Hudson, who sat lost in thought.
"What happened back there, Lobito?"
Hudson looked up at him, blinking as if he'd just woken from a trance. "Seb?"
"Yes, sweetheart." Seb took Hudson's hands, noting how Hudson's whole body was racked with shivers.
"I think... I think I'm losing my mind."
Seb ran a hand over Hudson's hair, brushing his bangs away from his face. It was growing long, the front falling over his brow. "Tell me what happened," he said gently. "Why did you go feral?"
"I swear I thought it was his scent." Hudson's voice broke when he spoke. "And it's not the first time, but it's... not possible. It couldn't be him."
"Who?"
Hudson gazed at him with wide eyes. "Alfie. It was his scent."
The truck fell into silence, broken when Ash spoke up. "Someone wanna tell me who that is?"
Hudson sniffed. "Alfie was my brother."
"Was?" Cael asked softly.
Seb rubbed circles around Hudson's back, wishing he knew what the hell was going on. Hudson was right, this wasn't possible, but his sense of smell was extraordinary and rarely off its mark. Wolf Therians were exceptional trackers, with the ability to sniff out things others might miss. That skill, along with their keen eye for detail, was why so many of them worked in the medical profession. They also made up a good portion of Unit Alpha's Therian Recon agents, along with cheetah Therians.
Darkest Hour Before Dawn Page 20