by Olivia Miles
“You know that everyone wanted you to stay. They wished they could have helped your family. They missed you.” She paused. “I missed you.”
His gaze was intense, and she looked away, down at her feet, at the pebbles surrounding her toes. She picked one up, even though it was hopeless, because despite everything, there was always some small reserve in her heart that this time, things might be different. Better.
“I never forgot how it felt to leave this town,” Matt said. “I wanted to come back. But I didn’t want to come back feeling like I did when I left. Like an outsider.”
She shook her head. “You’re one of us. You swam in this lake. You rode your bike on these paths. You know this town.”
And that was why she couldn’t understand why he was hell-bent on seeing that design come to life.
Except…that maybe she could. Because it was a solution. An answer. Because he didn’t believe in throwing the same rock out into the water waiting for a different result. Matt thought that the way to keep a business alive in this town was to do something that hadn’t been done.
That hadn’t failed.
*
Matt picked up another stone and skipped it across the water. It was a favorite pastime as a kid, seeing how many skips he could get, keeping a running tally with his brother and cousins. He usually won.
“I haven’t skipped stones since I lived here,” he said, marveling at that. “It never gets old.”
Beside him, Amelia shrugged. “Some things don’t. I guess it’s another reason that I decided to stay in town. Sure, it’s far from exciting, but it’s home. The good memories and the bad ones. It’s my life.”
He pulled in a breath. Now was as good a time as any to talk to her about the café, he knew. To feel her out, to warn her. Maybe he had nothing to worry about. Maybe she would see that her business would do better if it had more street traffic. Amelia was sensible, and she was clearly a good businesswoman.
“It’s one of the reasons I bought the café, actually,” she said, cutting him off before he could release the words from the back of his throat.
He swallowed hard and stared at her. “What do you mean?”
“That café is like my second home. It’s where my mother would take us after school a few days a week, to have a hot drink, and maybe a cookie, to talk about our days. Putting the money she left me into buying it just made me feel like she was still with me. My father always advised us to hold onto our shares, telling us we would know exactly what to do with it when the time came. I honestly felt like my mother was looking down on me the day that Dorothy decided to sell.” She laughed. “You know, it was actually at that café that I first told my mother about you.”
“About me?” He stared at her in surprise. “But we’ve known each other all our lives.”
“Right, but I mean…when I started seeing things in a different light…” Her cheeks turned pink when she caught his eye. “I remember telling my mom about it, right at the corner table. The one near the patio doors?” She grinned until her eyes turned distant. “That was a good day.”
Now Matt was curious, and despite himself, he was eager to know more. “Well, don’t leave me hanging like that. What did you tell her?”
She looked at him. “That was like…fifteen years ago. And you know how it all turned out.”
He poked her in the waist. She laughed, inched away, but her gaze lingered for a second longer than normal when she looked his way again.
“I said that I thought you would be the man I would marry.”
She glanced away at the omission and tossed the rock in her hand into the water. It sunk directly to the bottom.
“Anyway,” she said, unable to look him in the eye. “Obviously that didn’t happen.”
No, it hadn’t, Matt thought. It might have, if circumstances had been different. Still, neither one of them were married. Not that Amelia would be speaking to him for much longer if the town insisted the resort be built on the spot that currently housed her café rather than the parcel he’d chosen.
“That café has a lot of sentimental value for you,” he said. It wasn’t just business to Amelia. She may look practical and fastidious, but underneath it all, she was all heart. He’d always loved that about her.
Still did, if he was being honest with himself.
*
Amelia didn’t know why she was going on like this. Really, she started to wonder if Candy’s cheese biscuits were spiked with beer or something—if that was what made them so special in Candy’s eye.
But she knew that it was nothing like that. She’d always had an easy way when it came to Matt.
Good to know that this hadn’t changed.
“I know I said that my biggest regret was leaving this town,” Matt said, looking at her sidelong. His brow was pulled into a frown, his gaze unwavering. “But the truth is that my biggest regret was not keeping in touch with the people in this town. With my cousins. And especially, with you.”
Amelia pulled in a breath, pushing back the hope that filled her chest as her heart began to pound. “I understand now, Matt. It wasn’t easy for you to leave. And sometimes…it’s more painful to try to hold on than to let something go.”
He nodded, but his expression showed that he wasn’t convinced. “I wanted to call or write or visit, every day. And not just that senior year. Every day after that. I was going through the motions. Living my life. But a part of me…Well, it was always here.” He gave a little smile. “That’s why it was so important for me to get back.”
“For closure?” She blinked up at him as he turned to face her properly. He was close, very close, close enough for her to see the flecks of green in his otherwise blue eyes. To feel the urge to reach out, sense the heat of his skin just one more time.
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe, I was just holding out hope, that if I came back, it would be different, and it wouldn’t have to end like it did before.”
She nodded, unable to say anything, because now he was close, and his eyes were so intense, so familiar in their hold on hers, that she knew that he might just kiss her again, and that this time, she would let him.
He leaned in, slowly, slow enough for her to clear her throat, take a step back, tell herself that this was a bad idea, and that he wasn’t the boy she had once loved with all her heart.
Only standing here, like this, she believed that he was. His intentions may have been misplaced somewhere along the way, but his heart was right here in Blue Harbor. Where it had always been.
Where hers would always be.
His lips were soft and gentle when they met hers, but his hold on her was firm and strong. He pulled her close against his chest, his arms wrapped fully around her waist as he drew her near, and all the sounds around them seemed to fade away as she leaned in and experienced his warmth.
Finally, she broke away, looking up at him with a pounding heart. His eyes were intense, and her mind was racing, with possibility, with confusion, and more than anything…with hope.
Now wasn’t the time to worry about when he was going back to Minneapolis or what his intentions were. Now was the time to just be together, as they had once been.
“I should probably get back to the party before they sing the birthday song. I’d hate to disappoint my sister,” she said.
Although something told her that if Britt had any idea that she had just kissed Matt Bradford, she’d find it in her heart to forgive her.
12
Matt woke the next morning to the smell of toast and eggs—Jackson’s signature breakfast when one of them didn’t pick up bagels in Pine Falls.
Usually, Matt’s stomach grumbled at the promise of a meal hot and waiting, but today he lingered in the guest room, tired from a restless night.
He’d gone and kissed Amelia Conway. Kissed her because he wanted to, because she was right there, looking at him, so beautiful and so close, and standing there, talking to her, had made him feel good. Better than good. It had filled a pa
rt of him that had been missing for so many years, something he thought he was filling by coming back to town now, with a plan in place.
This wasn’t part of the plan. And instead of telling Amelia the truth, or warning her, he had gone and kissed her.
He threw on a tee shirt and opened the door. The hallway was short and he could see Jackson standing at the counter in the kitchen, already plating their food that they would no doubt take over to the sofa to eat. Jackson had a dining table, but Matt very much suspected that, like his own, it was underused. A few candlelit dinners that never went anywhere. The occasional need for a desk when the real one was cluttered.
They were two bachelors, getting by. Not much different than the kids they had once been.
Matt’s mind wandered back to last night again.
Not much different at all.
He grabbed a mug from the cabinet and filled it with coffee. Jackson was already digging into his scrambled eggs, not bothering to sit on a stool. He was watching Matt carefully, as if waiting for the right opportunity to say something that was on his mind.
For one fleeting second, Matt wondered if he’d gotten wind of the mayor’s proposal for the location of his resort. It was a small town. It was entirely possible.
Which was why he should have come clean with Amelia last night when he had the chance, rather than kissing her like that.
Still, if he had it all to do over again, he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t have made the same choice all over again. Kissing Amelia felt just as good now as it had back then. Only just like back then, he had the horrible feeling that it was all about to come to an end.
“You went to bed right when you got back last night,” Jackson said. “I didn’t even have a chance to ask where you and Amelia disappeared to during the party.”
Matt opened his mouth to deny the accusation, but one look at Jackson’s amused expression told him there was no point. “Think anyone else noticed?”
Jackson seemed to consider this while he took a bite from the corner of his toast. “Probably not. I guess it’s a professional hazard. I’m used to watching a crowd. And you and Amelia were missing from it for quite some time.”
Matt slid his plate across the counter. “We went for a walk.”
“And?” Jackson raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing that this was all there was to the story.
Matt saw his blueprints and files spread out on the buffet table, his mind drifting away back to reality. He’d discussed the project with his cousins, but not in detail. Now, he was eager to see Jackson’s thoughts on his design. He respected the guy. Always had. Looked up to him, even. Jackson had always been confident and self-assured, no matter what life threw his way. He was easygoing, and above all, he was honest.
And Matt needed some brutal honesty right now. Really, he needed to be honest with himself.
“Change of subject,” he started but Jackson let out a groan of protest.
“Oh no, if you think I’m going to let you off the hook that easy, try again.” He folded his arms across his chest, waiting. “Go on. What happened?”
“What do you think happened?” Matt replied, and Jackson let out a low whistle.
There was no hiding his smile when he said, “You always had a soft spot for Amelia Conway. Think you guys have a chance of getting back together?”
Probably not once Amelia found out about the proposed location of his design, Matt thought.
He shrugged and forced some eggs into his mouth, even though his throat felt tight. This Friday was the town council meeting. Next weekend he was scheduled to return to Minneapolis. And then what? He hadn’t come to Blue Harbor with any expectations for getting back together with his high school girlfriend. He’d just come to town with the hope of feeling better than he had when he’d left it.
And he had felt better. Until now.
“Amelia’s not a fan of my work,” he said. He walked to the buffet and began unrolling his blueprints. He spread them out on the island, careful not to get too close to the breakfast plates. “Be honest.”
Jackson considered the paper silently. “It’s certainly different,” he finally said. He took a long sip of his coffee, narrowing his eyes on Matt. “Guess I won’t have to worry about losing business at the inn.”
“It would certainly be a different market,” Matt agreed. Now, looking at the design he had spent so much time finalizing, he could almost see it through Amelia’s eyes. It was cold, and it didn’t fit in with the rest of the buildings in town. Sure, it might have worked out at the edge of town, hidden by the tall trees from the forest, but did it deserve a spot just behind Main Street, in the heart of town?
He wanted to believe that it did, but deep down, in his gut, he knew it didn’t.
And the last thing he wanted was to have more regrets when it came to this town.
He rolled up the papers, pushing aside the knots that were building in his stomach. Everything had seemed so clear when he’d first returned to Blue Harbor. And somewhere along the way the plan had veered off course, and not just because of the mayor’s insistence of the new location.
Because of Amelia. And his feelings for her. And that kiss.
Matt stared out the window onto the large body of water. Once, he had imagined guests at his hotel taking in this very same view. Now, it no longer excited him as it should. Instead it left him with a strange feeling in his gut. One of discomfort. One not much different from the way he’d felt when his parents had told him they were leaving Blue Harbor.
“I think I’ll take a walk.”
Jackson was refilling his mug with coffee at the counter. “Want me to join you?”
Matt shook his head. He needed to be alone, to think. And he knew if he told Jackson what was running through his head that Jackson would tell him what he already knew, deep down.
He just wasn’t sure if he was ready to listen to it yet.
“I need to make some calls back to the office. I won’t be gone long.”
Jackson shrugged and took his coffee into the living room, where he collapsed on the leather armchair and flicked on the news.
Matt stepped out onto the back porch and breathed in the smells around him. The air was so clear here, it filled his lungs effortlessly. In the distance he could hear the call of birds, the lapping of the gentle waves that rocked Jackson’s boat.
Life was simple here. Easy. And peaceful. And that was what pulled people to it. It was escape from the hustle and noise of life in the city or other denser environments. Here, time slowed down, allowed you to think. Allowed your mind to drift to the past.
For so long he’d been focused on the future.
Now, he wasn’t even sure what it held.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and circled back toward the house until he had a strong signal. Bob answered on the third ring. In the background, Matt could hear the usual din of the office. The muffled sound of people talking, the whir of the printer. The clacking of computer keys.
He didn’t miss any of it. And somehow, getting a bigger position in that same office left him even emptier than he’d been before.
“We might have a problem,” he told Bob, clenching his free hand at his side.
There was a beat of silence. “What kind of a problem?”
“That land we discussed? The mayor won’t have it.”
Bob cursed under his breath. “I had a feeling that would be a problem. I’ll get to work on some other site selections.”
“No need,” Matt said. He stared out onto the water. Wondered if he could really say what he wanted to say. “There’s a stretch along the waterfront that they’re proposing. They’ve been wanting to put the land to better use.”
“Excellent!” Bob said, as if that solved all their problems.
If only it did.
“The problem is that I don’t like that site,” Matt said. There was silence on the other end of the line. “I don’t think it’s the right fit.”
And it wasn’t.
Not for Amelia. Not for him. And not for the project, though he could make it work. A week ago he would have jumped at the chance to make it work.
“Don’t tell me you’re having doubts,” Bob said, his tone incredulous.
“Of course I’m not having doubts!” Matt shot back, his voice rising in defense.
“Good, because you didn’t spend all this time coming up with a design just to bail on it at the final hour. And I didn’t spend months pulling demographic research to back up your case for the development team for nothing.”
There was a pause, and Matt knew it was his turn to speak, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.
“I’m not having doubts.” He wasn’t. Not entirely. He had worked too hard, and not just to come up with the design, to make it airtight, a slam dunk, but had worked too hard through college, and the years working up the corporate ladder, just to get back to Blue Harbor.
Only to turn around and leave it again.
He pushed that thought back. Told himself that bringing the development to town would be closure. That it would allow him to visit with a less heavy heart from now on. That he’d have a reason to return, and that he’d feel good when he did.
Only he would still be just visiting. Just passing through. An outsider, rather than a member of this community that he had loved and cherished.
And missed.
*
Amelia was in the café, prepping for the next day, when the bells above the door jingled.
Damn. She must have forgotten to lock it behind her. Even though the “Closed” sign was turned, it didn’t necessarily stop people from wandering in and asking for a cup of coffee. She sighed and set her list down on the kitchen island, then pushed out into the dining room
Candy was standing near the door, her eyes frantic, and her hair wild—the curls frizzy and the roots wet.
Amelia looked outside. Sure enough, it had started to drizzle. Maybe Candy had slipped inside to get out of the rain. She wouldn’t blame her. She’d even offer her a cup of coffee. She could use one herself. She’d barely slept last night, thinking about that kiss. Playing it over, and over, and wondering what it meant. And where it might lead.