"See what?"
"Your ugly face."
I lifted it away and moved it to my mouth, pressing my lips to the heel of her hand. "Should I call Garrett?" I said, planting soft kisses on the inside of her wrist. "I'm sorry. I should have thought about you needing to take time off." She shook her head and watched me as I moved my lips to the smooth white skin on the inside of her elbow. "I just needed to see you."
"Where are we going?"
I pulled the fabric of her dress away and kissed the ball of her shoulder.
"Can we go there now?"
I placed my hand on the nape of her neck and dragged my lips down the line of her jaw until my mouth rested just above her pulse. "In a minute, what's the rush?"
She put her hands around the back of my head, pressing my mouth harder against her throat. "Are we still in the airport car park?"
"Yes."
Her head fell backward.
"Are there people around?"
I quickly glanced out the windows and saw a woman and her husband wheeling their suitcases to their car. "No."
"Liar."
My fingertips ran over her lips and she opened her mouth, touching my skin with her tongue. "It's not far from here," I said softly.
"Good," she said. "Start driving."
I leaned in and gently pressed my lips to hers. "We need to pick up some supplies on the way. We're not leaving the house for two days."
"Yep, okay, let's get going, then," she said brightly, sliding back over to her seat and fastening her seatbelt.
"You're a little impatient."
She narrowed her eyes. "What are you grinning at? Get on a plane, Tess, I need you right now, Tess - do you have any idea what stuff like that does to a woman?"
"No. Do you feel like telling me?"
She shook her head. "Not especially. Now can we go? Because I'm hungry."
"So am I."
"For food, pervert."
"That, too."
We stopped at a local market a few minutes from the house, filling a basket each with food. Tess insisted we shop separately, starting at opposite ends of the store. She said she was going to choose food she thought I'd like and I had to do the same for her. I bought wine, fruit, chocolates, cheese, coffee, eggs, and bread. At the last minute, I threw in some maple syrup and a box of pancake mix remembering that the next day was Tuesday, and Tuesday was pancakes for breakfast. Old habits die hard. I met her at the checkout and she hugged her basket to her other side, pointing at a cashier at the end of the row. We paid separately and met at the truck, our bags behind our backs.
"Why do I get the feeling you've bought me ten jars of pickled fish?"
"I don't know," she said lightly, swinging her bags into the tray. "Guilty conscience?"
"You know you'll end up using it too."
"Oh," she grinned, "I know."
The house was only a few minutes further up the road but it was so hidden by trees that unless knew you it was there, you'd never be able to find it. It was the holiday home of a drummer I knew, he hardly ever used it, and I had stayed there on and off over the years when I needed a weekend away. Despite being the vacation home of a famous musician, it was small and humble with only one bedroom and a basic kitchen and bathroom. I loved it there. It was the kind of house I'd always wanted to live in - simple and private and far away from everyone in town.
"This is the place," I said, driving into the parking area under the house. We collected our things and Tess followed me up the stairs to the landing. "It's a friend of mine's. He lets me stay here whenever I want to get away."
I opened the door and stood back and Tess walked through. She dropped her bag by the door and took her shopping to the kitchen, lining up the bags on the small wooden counter.
"I love it," she said, walking around the counter and over to the windows that lined the front of the room. "Look at this place, what more do you need?"
I followed her gaze along the plywood floors to the worn sofa in the corner, covered with blankets and cushions, then up at the artwork covering the whitewashed wooden walls. The late afternoon sun streamed in, spilling out across the floor. There was no television in the house, just a massive stereo system that was thirty years old and a couple of banged up acoustic guitars on stands against the wall. I followed her as she explored the rest of the house. The kitchen was just a makeshift counter made from a slab of wood resting on two metal shelving units, and a small sink. A portable gas stove and convection oven sat on one of the shelves and a tiny bar fridge was on the floor against the wall. The bathroom was also simple, but I knew from experience that it had taken some effort getting it that way. I'd helped to transport the Japanese wooden bath from Oahu for him and it weighed a ton.
"Have you been in one before?" I said as we both looked around the door at the bath. It was square and deep, the water came up to my shoulders when I sat in it, and it was covered by a thin piece of wood the same size.
"I've seen one in a homestay in Kyoto, but I didn't get to try it out when I was there."
"Maybe we can fix that."
"We won't both fit in there if that's what you're thinking."
"That sounds like a challenge," I said, weaving my arms around her waist. “I accept.”
"Ha," she scoffed. "Have you seen you? You're enormous. I'm surprised you can get in there by yourself."
I leaned down and kissed the side of her face. "We’ll see. Come on, I'll show you the bedroom."
We walked through the next doorway. It was my favorite room in the house and I went in first so I could watch Tessa's face as she saw it for the first time. Like the rest of the house, it was simple and uncluttered with just a king size bed in the center of the room covered in white linen, two bedside tables made from wooden crates and a large gray rug on the floor. It had one indulgence, though, and I had a feeling she was going to love it.
"Lie down," I said, pulling her to the bed by the hand. We lay back, side by side, and looked up.
"Oh, wow," she said, her eyes scanning the ceiling. "Look at that."
There was an enormous skylight over the bed, more of a glass ceiling than a window, and through it, clouds moved across the sky as the afternoon light slowly dipped behind the trees. I loved watching the stars late at night in that house. It reminded me of evenings with Akamu and my dad when we were kids, lying on our backs on grass that was still warm from the day's sun and not a single worry in our heads. He told us the stories of all of the constellations and we listened in silence, enraptured by the sound of his voice, and our chests puffed with pleasure at the undivided attention he was giving us. That was before, of course.
Tess rolled onto her side and ran a fingertip down the line of my jaw until she reached my bottom lip. "Want to trade another secret?" she said, dragging her finger down over my Adam’s apple to the hollow in my chest.
"You can have all of mine," I said, my voice husky. "Just ask."
"I have one," she said, kissing my shoulder. "Are you ready?"
"Yes."
She cleared her throat and pressed her lips into my shoulder. "Now that we're here, I'm a bit nervous."
"About tonight?"
She nodded. "Now you owe me a secret in return."
Her words bounced around in my head. I guessed it was natural that she'd be nervous. We hadn't known each other for long and we'd just spent two weeks apart. And I didn't know her history, I'd never felt the need to ask - so there was a chance she was inexperienced or maybe, I swallowed, even a virgin. Still, it surprised me. Tess was always confident in her body, she was never shy about the way she looked even though her complexion often made people take a second glance. She was confident in an effortless, natural way and I'd just assumed sex went along with her free-spirited go-with-the-flow attitude to life.
"I'm not nervous,' I said. "But I am scared." I lifted my arm and she slid under, resting her cheek on my chest.
"Of me?"
"Yes. I'm scared that you're going to ruin me."<
br />
She was quiet for a long time and when I glanced down, I half expected to see her sleeping. But her eyes were open and she was lost, far away.
"I don't want you to feel nervous around me," I said eventually. "Remember, if you don't want this, we don't have to do anything."
"I do want you," she whispered. "Too much."
"Come on," I said, helping her up. "Let’s make dinner. I want to see what you've got in your evil bags of tricks out there."
"Are you serious?" I said, pulling open the second bag. "What are we going to do with this stuff?" I placed the jar of artichokes next to the carton of eggs and looked back inside the bag.
"I'm going to cook for you." She put her hands behind her and hopped up onto the counter, her legs dangling in front of her. "Take the rest of it out."
"Flour, lemons, more eggs, butter, sugar, cheese, pickles?" I raised my eyebrows. "Do I want to know how you're going to incorporate pickles into this?"
She winked and shook her head, taking the jar of pickles from my hands. "These are just for me."
"I thought this was my food."
She kissed my cheek. "I cheated."
I reached around her to the other bag. Four packets of condoms in assorted sizes. She met my eye with a grin.
"Optimistic," I said, lining each box of twenty up on the counter. "But I do like a challenge."
"Okay, out!" she said suddenly as she jumped off the counter. "I'm cooking tonight. You can serenade me as I work." She nodded at the guitars over the other side of the room.
We spent the next hour singing, Tess's throaty, folky sound a perfect match for my own voice. She was working on something that required a lot of flour and brute strength, but I wasn't allowed to see what it was. As she worked, she kept her head down, concentrating on whatever it was that she was making. But every now and again she glanced up and smiled at me, the sight of it making my fingers fumble on the strings and my brain forget the words to the song.
"Right, that's done," she said finally, running her hands under the sink. "Now, we wait." She bent down to put something in the fridge and then straightened up. "I know I'm being a lame fan-girl about it, but Kai, you're such a beautiful singer."
I leaned the guitar on the dining table and stood up, walking toward her. "Thank you."
"You say that like you don't believe it's true."
"Not at all," I said, wiping away a smear of flour on one cheek. "I know I can sing. Everyone in my family can."
She ran her hands up my arms until they were cupped around the sides of my neck. "As well as you?"
I shrugged. "Maybe not."
"Dinner won't be ready for a while," she said, looking up at me with her big, blue eyes. "What do we have to do to get that bath working?"
"It has a water tank, run on solar," I said, searching her face. "Are you sure you want to take a bath?"
She nodded slowly. "Let's rip the Band-Aid off."
We walked down the hallway hand in hand, my heart banging against my ribs. When we got to the bathroom, she stepped back, dropping my hand, and looked at the doorway. "Fill her up."
I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor and she watched me, her eyes suddenly darker, like cobalt. "I can't wait," she said, her eyes traveling from my head to my feet.
I coughed, swinging my head in her direction. "What?"
She shook her head, laughing under her breath, and pointed at the bath. "To see you get in there. You knees are going to be up around your ears."
The bath took an age to fill, the anticipation of the moment climbing with the water level. The hinoki wood warmed with the water, filling the room with an earthy, spicy scent. Finally, it was ready and I shut the faucet off. "You sure about this?"
"Oh stop being such a princess, Kai," she scolded in mock exasperation. "Take your pants off."
"You know," I said, unbuttoning my jeans as I held her eye, "you can be quite bossy."
She leaned against the doorframe, one hand clutching the opposite arm, as she watched me undress. When I pulled my boxer shorts down, I saw her eyes flick down, quickly, and then she looked at me again. Maybe it was nerves, or maybe it was the intensity of the situation but I saw that we were both trying not to laugh. I gave in to it first, feeling kind of sheepish standing there naked, being watched and watching her. But I was happy, and for once the tension I wore around my shoulders was gone.
"Are you getting undressed, or is this some kind of free peep show?"
"I'm waiting to see what you look like in that bath," she said, her cheeks flushing pink. "I still don't think there'll be any room for me."
I stepped on the small wooden bench at the base of the bath and lifted a leg over, holding onto the side for balance. Once the other leg was in I sat down slowly, sinking into the water until it just lapped over my shoulders. There was a bench seat to sit on, and it was just at the right height for me to rest my feet on the bottom. She walked over slowly and peered over the side. The room was almost dark, the only light coming from the kitchen and the living room down the hall.
"Damn my shitty eyes," she cursed, but she was smiling. "I can't see a thing."
"Can you see that there is plenty of room for two?" I placed two wet fingers on her wrist and she felt cold to my touch.
"I guess I can see that."
"Come here, then."
She fumbled with the buttons at the top of her dress. I thought it was because she couldn't see well, but when I noticed the way her breathing faltered and the slight tremor in her bottom lip I realized she was nervous again. Or excited.
"All bravado, huh?" I teased, leaning my head back.
She raised an eyebrow and pulled her dress off her shoulders. A second later she let it drop to the floor. And she was beautiful in that soft, half-light, her white skin iridescent and a small smile on her lips. She pulled a hair band off her wrist and gathered her hair into a knot and then slowly slid her underwear down her legs. I closed my eyes for a second, because it was too much, and I was worried that my heart was showing plainly on my face. I'd already had to remind myself that she was going to leave three times that night. But it didn't matter how many times I beat myself over the head with it. My heart refused to listen.
"You're going to have to help me," she said from the edge of the bath. I held her hand as she stepped up onto the stool and shakily lifted one leg into the water, then the other one. She stood between my knees, facing me, the water at her navel. I placed my hands around her waist and pulled her closer, my tongue running over the curve of her breast. She rested her hands on my shoulders and took a step toward me, lifting herself so that she straddled my lap.
"I wish I could see you properly," she murmured, bending to kiss my forehead. "I can feel you, though."
I brought my hands together behind her, scooping water into them and tipping it down her back. She arched slightly, sighing in pleasure.
"We always seem to be in the water," she said, slipping her hand down. I heard a noise that must have come from me and dipped my head and kissed her neck. She touched me in the dark. "Is that going to be our thing?"
"Oh god, yes, I hope so." I ran my hands down her back, over her hips. "There's lots of water in Hawaii."
"Do you want to do this now?" she whispered. "I'm ready."
But I had barely touched her and I couldn't see her at all under the inky black of the water. I groaned and wrapped my fingers around her tiny wrist, stilling her hand. "I have plans."
"What kind of plans?"
"I'm going to be thinking about this night for the rest of my life. I want to see you, at least. I want to touch you."
Her other hand stroked my leg. "There's plenty of time for that."
"Sorry, but the first time with you is important to me. Is that okay?"
She bit her lip to stop her smile. "It's okay."
"Then Tess? I need you to get off me. Right now."
She put her hands on my face, leaning in and kissing me deeply. Then she stood up and c
arefully made her way to the other end of the bath.
Chapter Twenty One
She'd found a table cloth from somewhere and pulled it over the small square table. A stubby beeswax candle sat flickering in an egg cup, the warm, sweet scent of honey filling the room. She pulled out a chair for me and after I was seated, she moved to the opposite one, sitting down elegantly and lifting her wine glass to her lips.
"You're seriously going to sit here in that?" I said. She had tucked a small, white towel in above her breasts.
"Would you rather I took it off?"
"No, it's fine." I glanced down at my t-shirt and jeans. "Although now I feel overdressed."
"We could have a naked dinner?"
We both looked at the bowl of pasta sitting in the middle of the table.
"I don't think I want you to see me eating pasta naked."
She stood up so she could dish out the food. "It might be fun..."
"You're trouble," I said. “Pilikea.”
She carefully twisted the spoons, creating a perfect mound of pasta on my plate. "Everything sounds better in Hawaiian."
Dinner was delicious, soft silky pasta and a cream based sauce with artichokes and parmesan cheese. I hadn't pegged her as an incredible cook. But then, there were a lot of things I didn't know about Tess.
"How did you learn to make that?" I said, enjoying the flush of pride across her face.
"I lived with an Italian family for a few months, when I was sixteen. They owned a restaurant and I liked to hang around, watching the chefs. Eventually, they let me help in the kitchen a bit when it was a slow night. This was what we used to cook when service was over. All the chefs would take turns making it. They all thought their version was the best." Her face lit up at the memory. "Although of course, we used fresh artichokes then. The market only had jarred."
"What were you like as a teenager?" I said carefully, watching her face.
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