Now that she was thinking about it, Julian had told her about a relationship that hadn’t been what he thought it was. He’d kept it from his family because they were still dealing with the loss of his dad. It had taken him a lot of time to get over it.
“Oh, I’m sure he glossed right over that. Didn’t faze him a bit. No, a dubious, wealthy man like that doesn’t let things like that get to him.”
Summer shook her head. “No, Nanna, he told me about it. Unless he’s just a fantastic actor, it really hurt him. He said it took years to get over it.”
Nanna grunted a laugh. “Right. I bet he is a good actor.”
“I don’t think so. The way he looked…I don’t think he could fake that.”
She shrugged. “Still, you were right in just walking away from that mess of a family. All that attention and money. It would’ve probably ruined you from the inside out.”
“That’s not true. I don’t care about his money. I even paid him for the roofers today to show that I’m not some money grubber.”
Her grandma looked at her. “You did? Well, good for you. That’ll show that snobby rich fella.”
For a moment, Summer was stunned, and then her brain caught up. “I’ve walked right into this, haven’t I?”
“Like a blind mule in a pasture full of trees.”
Her nanna had played her like a fiddle. “You meddle too much.”
“A nanna has to do what a nanna has to do. If I’d thought that young man was bad business, I would’ve put him back in that truck and kicked the tires as he drove off.” She sat forward. “Now, you want to tell me what’s really got you so upset? Because it sure ain’t him you’re upset with.”
No, she wasn’t mad at him. “I don’t know. Everything was going so well. And then Mrs. Whipple told me that stuff, and it shook me.”
“Maybe it made you a little scared?”
Nodding, Summer said, “Maybe. He’s not just a small-time painter. He has this huge wealthy family.”
“And there might have been a chance they wouldn’t like you?”
“What if they don’t? What if I’m not good enough for them?”
Nanna laughed. “Sweetheart, if they think that, then you don’t want anything to do with them. Personally, I don’t think a sweet, modest man like Julian would come from a family who acts like that.”
Summer slumped in her chair. “No, I don’t think so either.”
“Shouldn’t that make you happy?”
“Yeah, but I was really hateful to him earlier this week. I told him he was my employee and I didn’t want to see him anymore.”
Nanna smiled. “I see.”
“Plus, I love my life here. He’s going to go back to Houston. Even if I apologize and everything goes back to wonderful, it’s only a matter of time before he leaves. Then I’ll be right back here. Heartbroken, miserable, and alone.”
Reaching across, Nanna patted her hand. “Bucky and I love having you here. We really do, and we don’t want to see you leave.”
“And I don’t want to leave. The ranch is in the black. I have a marketing degree. I’ve pictured getting that barn restored, having all sorts of events in it, and a ton of people coming here. I shouldn’t have to give up my life for a man.”
Nanna leaned back, nodding. “Well, that’s something I can’t decide for you. I do think you should find Julian and apologize. You will be happier in the long run if you part as friends. You’ll regret leaving things the way they are.”
Summer sucked in a lungful of air and let it out slowly. “You’re right. Just let me get myself in the right frame of mind, and I will. I don’t want to leave things this way, but I also don’t want to start it back up again. It’s not fair to either of us. I think he knows that too.”
“You’re a bright, intelligent young woman. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.” She stood. “I’ve got to get back home. If you need anything, call me, okay?”
Summer stood and hugged her grandma. “Thanks for checking on me.”
Nanna hugged her tightly. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, Nanna.”
After watching her nanna leave, Summer took a seat again, letting her vision haze and her mind wander. She cared about Julian. More than she’d ever cared about anyone romantically. She couldn’t ask him to choose between her and his family. And if he cared even a smidgen for her, he wouldn’t ask her to choose either. They would be at an impasse. Both wanting something the other couldn’t give and being resentful later if they did. It was better to just apologize and be friends.
It would be the most difficult thing she’d ever done, but hopefully, she could stay strong. No, she would stay strong. For both of them.
20
Another hot day in July. Handling it had been okay until Julian woke up that morning. He’d felt off, but he’d chalked it up to being heartsick. His restless nights had returned with a vengeance. He just couldn’t get the hurt look on Summer’s face out of his mind. The very idea that she’d suspect him of thinking she was a gold digger, or any other such nonsense, broke his heart.
He dropped his hammer to the ground and leaned his forehead against the outside barn wall. His intention was to finish the outside today no matter how long it took so he could get the barn washed and painted. But he didn’t feel good.
It could be that he’d allowed himself to get too hot. Didn’t make sense, though. He’d been drinking plenty of water. Once he figured out Summer was no longer coming by, he’d gone into town and purchased a cooler and enough water so he could get through a week without going back.
He sneezed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d pushed through the last few days, but there was no way he was getting anything done today. With the way he was feeling, he’d be lucky to make it back to the cabin. He should have stayed in, but more than anything, he wanted to come through for Summer. The desperation to get her trust back was too much to not try.
As he walked to his truck, his spirits sank lower. He’d let her down in so many ways. First, he’d…not lied, but he hadn’t been entirely honest either. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he’d hesitated. She’d liked him for him. He knew that. All he’d have had to do was tell her the truth, and maybe none of this would have happened.
When she’d accused him of thinking she was after his money or fame, he’d thought really hard on it. If there was a measure of truth to it, he wanted to confront it, to fix it or whatever he needed to do, but in his heart, he knew she wasn’t like that. And if it wasn’t that, then what was it?
After sliding into the seat of his truck, he sat there a second and then started it up. If he were any achier, he’d be a song. It was bad enough that he was tempted to check the length of his hair in the rearview mirror.
Julian slowly drove the truck back to the little cabin, crawled out, and trudged inside. After the last few days, he was worn down from the inside out. He went straight to the bathroom, turned the shower on, and peeled off his sweat-soaked clothes while the water heated.
Stepping in, he let the water rush over his head and down his back. With his hands braced against the wall, he let the water work the stiffness out of his muscles. It felt so good to just stand there, but the longer he did, the worse he felt.
He finished with his shower and dressed in a pair of old sweat pants and a t-shirt. As he went to pass the second bedroom, he stopped in the doorway. The painting he’d started the last time he’d seen Summer mocked him. He’d used his fingers on that one, trying to let the silken texture of the paint sooth his pain, but what he was left with was a jumbled mess of colors. It would have been better if he’d stood a foot away and just thrown the paint. Julian could almost hear that critic giving his review of the painting, and it would sound exactly like the last one.
Another emotionless, soulless offering by the less-than-stellar Julian Wolf—the painter who had been compared to past greats. Apparently, the art community’s version of a one-hit wonder.
<
br /> Two things he loved…just within reach, and he’d foolishly taken them for granted. Then he realized what had flickered through his head. The thought made him lean heavier into the doorframe.
Julian loved Summer. Well, that made sense. It also gave some clarity as to why he’d been so afraid of telling her about his money and his little bit of fame. He was afraid he’d lose her.
There was also the little matter of where they lived. Houston wasn’t just a block away. That’s where his family lived. Where the gallery was. Plus, he knew she loved Sage Valley Ranch. Anytime their talks came to the ranch, her face would light up like a million fireworks. She loved her family as much as he loved his. Sure, he could move to Sage Valley, but if he were being brutally honest, he worried he’d resent her later. Or if he asked her to leave with him, that she’d resent him.
Rubbing his eyes, he pushed off the doorframe, dragged himself to the couch, and sat down hard. As much as he hated the way things had ended, it was probably for the best. He never wanted her to hate him. That was something he definitely wanted to fix, but he wouldn’t be seeking a relationship any longer. It wouldn’t be fair to her. Not when neither of them could give up the people they loved.
21
Rocking back on her heels, Summer stopped her hand midair before tapping on Julian’s door. It had been a little over a day since her talk with Nanna. That’s how long it had taken her to not only gather her courage, but to build a wall tall enough to handle seeing him.
This needed to be done. She knew she had to do it. Doing it, though? That was a whole new test of her willpower.
Without another thought, she knocked on the door and waited. A few seconds passed, and she knocked again. She turned and looked at his truck. Why wasn’t he answering the door? He could have gone for a walk.
A second later, the front door opened a fraction. “Hello?” His voice sounded scratchy.
She turned back to the door, and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry I—” He paused, tucked his face in the crook of his elbow, and sneezed. “I haven’t worked the last few days.”
“Is everything okay?”
He shook his head. “I don’t feel good. I think I’ve got a cold. You should—” He stopped and sneezed again. “I don’t want to get you sick.”
Summer took a harder look at him. His face was flushed, his eyes were dull, and his nose was red. Palming the door, she gently pushed on it. “I’ll take my chances.”
“Really, I’ll be fine. It shouldn’t last much longer, and I’ll be back. I’ll make up for—” He sneezed.
“I don’t care about the barn right now,” she said, stepping closer. “Let me in, okay?”
Julian rubbed his eyes with his hands and left the door cracked as he stepped back. “You don’t want this. I’m miserable.”
She came in the rest of the way and shut the door behind her. “I’ll be fine.”
He groaned, walked to the couch, and flopped down, leaning his head back.
“How long have you been sick?” she asked.
Sniffling, he shrugged. “I don’t know. A few days maybe?” He grabbed a tissue and blew his nose. “Mrs. Whipple called at the beginning of the week and asked me to teach again, so I did. A few days later, I started feeling bad. I think I caught something from the kids.”
Talk about sweet. He’d gone back to teach? She walked to the couch and perched next to him, touching the back of her hand to his forehead. “You’ve got a decent fever.”
“I’ve been going from hot to cold back to hot since this started.”
“Have you eaten or had anything to drink?”
“Nothing to eat, and I’ve tried to drink a little water. I want some ginger ale or something, but I haven’t trusted myself to drive.”
Her heart sank. If she hadn’t been a jerk, he would have called her. She could have brought him something. “Are you hungry? How about some chicken soup or something?”
Lifting his head, he looked at her with half-open eyes. “Really, you shouldn’t stay. A couple more days, and I’ll be fine.”
“Unless you plan to physically kick me out, I’m staying.”
His head dropped back. “I don’t think I have the energy to answer the door again.”
“Then it’s settled.” She smiled. “Now, you want something cold and fizzy? Do you want something to eat too?”
“Both sound good.”
Summer pulled out her phone and called Lexi. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Lexi replied. “You sound better.”
“I am. I’m sorry about the other day, and I sort of need a favor.”
“I knew something was bothering you. All’s forgiven. What’s the favor?”
“Thanks. Do you think you could bring a twelve pack of ginger ale to Julian’s?” Summer asked, touching Julian’s forehead again.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think Mrs. Whipple’s class gave Julian a bug. He’s running a fever, and he doesn’t feel good.”
Lexi sucked her teeth. “Oh, I’ve heard that bug is nasty too. Nova Clark’s little girl got it, and it took her a good week to get over it.”
Julian groaned and slid down sideways until his head rested on the cushion. “I really don’t feel good.”
Summer twisted around. “From what I’m seeing, I believe you.”
“You take care of him. I’ll call Nanna and tell her we need some chicken soup.”
“Could you stop by my house too and pack a few things for me? If this bug is as bad as you say, I’m going to be staying at Julian’s a few days.”
“Sure.” Summer could almost see the smile on Lexi’s face. “I’ll bring them over as soon as I can.”
“Thanks, Lexi.”
“See you in a bit.”
Summer ended the call and set her phone down on the coffee table. “I have soda and soup coming.”
“Thanks,” he murmured, bringing his knees up and shivering. “I’m freezing.”
She stood and grabbed the blanket from the lounger. Pulling it over him, she sat on the edge again, facing him. She hated that he was sick.
Bracing his hand against the cushion, he sat up again. “I can’t breathe when I lie down.”
“Have you been sleeping out here?”
“Yeah, in the lounger mostly. I switch to the couch some because my back starts hurting.”
“Well,” she said, putting her back against the arm of the couch. “Come here. You can lean against me and rest.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to bother you or trap you in this cabin. I’ll be okay.”
“I’m sure you would, but I’m not going anywhere.” She pulled on him. “Come on.”
Finally, he relented and leaned back against her, the back of his head resting on her shoulder. As he let out a deep breath, he relaxed. “That feels good,” he mumbled.
Summer kissed his temple. “You rest. When Lexi gets here, I’ll pour you something to drink and you can eat a bite.”
Julian nodded. “Okay.” The word was slurred, and it wasn’t a second later before he was asleep.
She’d come with the intent of apologizing and putting a clear, definitive line between them. Now, she was holding him while he slept. That wall she’d worked so hard to build had been chipped away from the moment he opened the door, and now she couldn’t even find the leftover rubble where it had been built. How was she ever going to be strong enough to let him go?
22
The soft sound of familiar voices woke Julian. One he knew as Lexi from getting water at the Knack ’n Snack, and the other, the one belonging to Summer, he’d missed terribly. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to clear his vision. It didn’t feel like he’d been asleep all that long.
Arms circled his chest as he tried to sit up. “You’re good.” Summer felt good. If he didn’t feel so bad, he’d be loving it even more.
“Stay there. I’ll get you something to drink and eat,” Lexi said. “I hear you w
ere quite the teacher the other day.”
“Mrs. Whipple called, and I couldn’t say no.”
Lexi walked to the kitchen. “Well, just so you know, this bug is bad news. I’ve heard it gets worse before it gets better.”
“Worse than this? I feel terrible.”
Summer’s fingers threaded through his hair, and he leaned his head into them. If this is what he got for being sick, he’d suffer through it. “You’re still pretty hot,” she said as her hand came to rest on his cheek. “Lexi brought you some cold medicine.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
She smoothed his hair back. “I think you should have something in your stomach before you take it, though. Plus, most likely, it’s going to make you drowsier.”
“Not sure that’s possible.”
Lexi returned to the living room and set down a fizzing drink and a steaming bowl. His stomach growled. “That smells good.” And familiar.
“It’s Nanna’s chicken noodle soup. Best stuff on earth for what ails ya.” Lexi chuckled. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thanks, Lexi,” Summer said and helped Julian to sit up.
Lexi smiled as she walked to the door and said, “Bye,” as she left.
Julian started to lean forward, and Summer stopped him. “Stay where you are. As sleepy as you seem, you might tip face forward and hit that hot soup. Talk about disaster.”
“You really don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
She picked up the drink and put it to his lips. “What makes you think I don’t want to be here?”
After a long drink, he said, “I just…I know you were upset, and I’ve tried to give you space.”
Casting her gaze down, she nodded. “I was, but why don’t we get you well, and then we’ll talk about it. Okay?”
“Okay.” He took another drink. “You sure?”
“If I wanted to be somewhere else, I would be. Now, are you hungry?”
Inspired By The Creative Cowboy (Sage Valley Ranch Book 5) Page 8