by E. L. Todd
“I don’t think so, man.” He looked down at the dog and shook his head. “You can’t have it both ways.”
Soldier whined as Finn left.
I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the nose. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours. I’ll bring you some leftovers if I have any.”
His tail started to wag again.
I followed Finn out, and we left in his truck.
He drove into the city, a silver watch on his wrist and his cologne filling the truck.
I noticed the scent because he hardly ever wore cologne. “So what are your colleagues like?”
He shrugged. “The boring, intellectual types.”
“You don’t consider yourself to be the same?”
“God, no,” he said with a laugh. “I’m the dumbest one there.”
“Why do I doubt that?”
“These guys had formal educations, went to the big schools for undergrad, and stuff like that. I’m the only one in the department who went a different route, so I’m pretty different from the rest of them.”
“I don’t see why that matters. A lot of astronauts are military pilots. They don’t have the same formal training as the others, but they do just fine.”
“Well, I’m not a badass astronaut, but thanks for the comparison.”
We parked in the parking lot then stepped inside the restaurant. It was a large place near the shore, a restaurant that had a private room in the back with a separate patio and space heaters. White lights illuminated the area, and there was a buffet full of an array of food. Everyone mingled together with drinks in their hands or seated at tables with their dinners.
“Wow, you work with a lot of people.”
“And not even all of them are here.”
“Where are the rest?”
He gave me a teasing smile. “Working at the ER.”
“Oh…that makes sense.”
He chuckled then kissed me on the hairline. “Let’s get a drink, and I’ll introduce you to some people.” His arm moved around my waist, and he held me like his woman, like I wasn’t just some random girl he’d brought to an event. He made me feel far more special than that.
He introduced me to a few of the doctors he worked with and some of his favorite nurses. Much of the small talk was about working in the ER, and I couldn’t follow along with most of it, but it was exciting to be part of his world. He rarely shared anything about himself, and as I’d expected, he was Mr. Popular. Everyone seemed to adore him.
No surprise there.
We helped ourselves to the buffet then took a seat at one of the vacant tables.
That’s when I spotted Layla.
Ugh. I was hoping she’d be working.
Gorgeous in a backless red dress, she showed off her incredible body and her ink. Her eyes settled on Finn, and the longing was so obvious that everyone would notice if they looked.
I wanted to punch her in the face. Knowing she’d tried to sleep with him when he gave her a ride home made me despise her. I doubt she was even drunk. It was probably just a pathetic ploy.
“How’s your prime rib?” Finn’s question distracted me from the declaration of war I’d just made.
“Good. Everything is good.”
Since this was a work function, he drank wine, something he hardly ever did. When he wasn’t eating, he placed his hand on my thigh under the table, showing his affection rather than restraining it.
“Everyone seems really nice.”
“Yeah, for the most part. But that’s probably because of all the free food and booze…and they aren’t at work. When shit gets rough in the ER, people aren’t in such a good mood. It’s all down to business.”
“I can’t even imagine. All I ever have to worry about is having enough lingerie in the right sizes.”
“Hey, your job is important.” He leaned toward me. “Very important. It’s literally the most important thing in the world to me.”
I laughed at his perverseness. “I think your job is a little more important.”
He weighed between his two hands. “Sex or medicine… I think we know who the winner is.”
Layla left her chair then approached us, shaking her hips like she was on a runway. Her choice of dress was a bit scandalous for a work function, and it seemed obvious that the dress was just for Finn.
How would I smile and be polite when I wanted to knock her teeth in?
“Hey, Finn.” She stopped in front of us. “How’s the prime rib?”
“Since mine is all gone, I’d say it’s pretty good.” Charming as always, he was irresistible at all times. “How was your dinner?”
“Great. I think I’m going to have a second go.”
Where the hell did she put it?
“You’re a trooper,” Finn said. “Good for you.”
Finn had already introduced me at the bar before, but I wasn’t certain if she remembered me or not. She probably thought I was just another woman on his arm…one of many. I wasn’t important, and I wouldn’t be around forever, which was exactly why she wasn’t deterred.
“You remember Pepper, right?” Finn asked. “I introduced you guys at the bar.”
“Oh yeah…” She nodded her head slowly, going along with it even though she had no idea who I was. “Nice to see you again.”
“Yeah…you too.” It made me sick to my stomach to think she was making moves on him anytime they ran into each other. But I couldn’t expect anything less when I was dating a man so drop-dead gorgeous. Of course women would sink their claws into him any chance they got. It didn’t matter if he was seeing anyone. And as far as she knew, I could just be his friend or something.
“I thought it was time to introduce my girlfriend to everyone,” Finn said. “I can’t keep her all to myself all the time.”
It was the first time Finn had called me his girlfriend, and the bolt of joy that spread through my limbs counteracted the poison Layla administered. I felt so warm, so high, that I was soaring above the sky. Whether Finn did it on purpose to keep Layla away, or it just rolled off the tongue naturally, it meant the world to me.
Layla couldn’t hide her falling expression. “Yeah…time to get some fresh air. Well, you two have fun. I’ve got to make a few stops.” When she walked away, her hips didn’t shake like they had before. Her determination had evaporated once she’d struck out.
The smile on my face felt permanent.
Finn drank his wine then looked around the room, watching his colleagues drink and dine.
“Your girlfriend, huh?”
He turned to me, an innocent expression on his face. “Is that okay? Or are you Soldier’s girlfriend now?”
My arm linked through his, and I moved my face to his shoulder. “I just didn’t know that’s what I was to you.”
He faced forward again. “You’re the woman in my bed every night. What else would you be?”
“I don’t know. I just know you’ve never had a girlfriend before.”
He shrugged. “First time for everything, right?”
I rubbed his arm and rested my face on his shoulder, not caring if anyone else saw. My heart beat at a special rate for this man. The second he came into my life, he made me feel things I’d only read about in books. He was Prince Charming with a hint of badness. “I like being your girlfriend.”
“Are you sure? Sometimes I wonder if you’ll leave me for my dog.”
“I can’t love both of you?” I asked playfully.
“Yes. But it’s weird that you sleep with both of us.”
“Are you really jealous of a dog?”
“No. I’m just jealous that you turned him against me.”
“I did not,” I said with a laugh.
“Well, you got him to fall in love with you.”
“Maybe you should buy him a toy once in a while.”
“Nope. I’m not gonna make him soft.” His fingers rubbed gently against my bare thigh.
Now I wished we were home, naked in his bed and moving slowly
together. “I’m not sure if I can wait until we get home. That back seat of the truck looks big enough…”
He slowly turned to me, his eyes filled with that intensity he only showed me. “That’s why you’re my girlfriend.”
“Really? Because any woman here would say the exact same thing.”
“Alright, you’re my girlfriend for a few other reasons too.”
“And those reasons are?” I never asked him about his feelings or the future because it seemed like a topic that would spook him. But he freely called me his girlfriend and claimed me to a woman who obviously wanted his balls. He could have her whenever he wanted her, but he kept his dick in his pants for me.
“You’re my girlfriend because you’re the only woman I want to be with. I think that explains it pretty well.”
“And why am I the only woman you want to be with?”
“That’s a question that doesn’t have an answer,” he said quietly. “But I think it’s good I don’t have an answer…because my feelings don’t need to be justified or explained.”
Just when I thought he was incapable of expressing himself, he said the most romantic thing. This man was so loving without even trying. He made me feel like the only woman who mattered because he proved it. He never looked at another woman in my presence, and he let the world know he was a one-woman kind of man when it mattered. He didn’t claim me out of jealousy. He claimed himself because he wanted the world to know he was mine.
My fingers went to his chin, and I turned his face toward mine. My eyes looked into his before I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the mouth, a kiss that lingered for several seconds before I had the strength to pull away. “I want you to make love to me when we get home.”
He rubbed his nose against mine before he kissed the corner of my mouth. “Yes, baby.”
When my dress was on the floor, my black bodysuit was revealed, the crotch unclasped so he could get inside me easily. My heels stayed on my feet, and I dug the stilettos into his back as he ground into me on his bed. My hair was everywhere and my breathing was going haywire. My nails clawed at him as the moans escaped his mouth, deep and sexy.
One of his hands was tangled in my hair, while his face was pressed into my neck. He breathed deep and heavy as he thrust in me, his dick harder than it’d ever been before. It pulsed inside me like a stick of dynamite that would explode at any instant. “You look so fucking sexy in lingerie.”
My arms hugged his muscular back, and I felt every inch slam inside me with his thrusts. My chin was tilted to the ceiling, and I existed on a plane of emotion, just feeling and not thinking. Lost in the lust and the love, I was out of my rational mind. All I could do was feel this man deep inside me, feel the connection between our souls. I already knew I didn’t want another man for the rest of my life. I wanted Finn every single day, to feel his dog tags drag against my tits every time we made love. He completed me in a way Colton never could. There had always been something missing, but I hadn’t known we were missing anything until I found it.
Finn pulled his face out of my neck and looked me in the eye, his sculpted body rocking into mine as his muscles flexed and tightened. His warm breath fell on my face, smelling like red wine.
I was more soaked than usual because I liked knowing that he was there with me, that Layla didn’t have a chance because I was the only woman he wanted. Even when he hadn’t had me, he still didn’t let anyone else have him. He could be anywhere that night, but he was in bed with me, making love to me, skin-on-skin. I got off knowing Layla was disappointed, furious that she’d constantly struck out with Finn.
I was the victor.
“Baby, you’re so wet.” His hand tightened in my hair, and he gently rocked inside me, moving through my tight slickness until he ran out of room.
“You make me wet.”
He cradled his face to mine and kissed me, his lips moving with purpose while his hips never lost their pace. He flexed his hips and pushed himself deep inside me, taking me in a way he’d never taken a woman before. I was special to him for millions of reasons. I was his first in many ways. I was the first woman he actually cared about, the first one who’d turned him monogamous.
As my lips trembled against his, I came. My body produced another wave of moisture between my legs, and I covered him with my slickness. “Finn…” My nails clawed deep into his back, and my thighs squeezed his hips so tightly. This man gave me the best orgasms of my life, the kind that caused cramps in my toes. He put my body through so much pleasure, it actually hurt the next day. This was how love was supposed to be, when you couldn’t get enough of your partner no matter how many times you were together. I’d never had this with Colton. I’d never had this all-consuming desire to have him as much as I could.
Finn always made the same movements when he was about to release. His pace slowed down and his thrusts turned deeper, like he was trying to bury himself as far inside me as possible before he exploded. His breathing turned irregular, and he always gave a shudder when the moment arrived.
I grabbed his ass and yanked him deep inside me, wanting his come to fill me as much as possible. When Jax had wanted to skip the condoms, I hadn’t been thrilled by the idea of him coming inside me, but with Finn, it was an extra turn-on. I wanted him to fill me with his seed, to let his arousal burrow inside me.
He moaned loudly as he finished, his eyes closing for a brief moment. All the muscles in his body tightened as he released, even his ass muscles underneath my fingertips. The weight came a second later as his come filled my pussy. Slowly, he began to soften, still moaning quietly because every part of the event was sensational. “This pussy…” His face moved into my neck, and he kissed the sweat off my throat, worshiping me like I’d done all the pleasing, when I’d only lain there and been pleasured by him.
My fingers moved into his hair, and I closed my eyes as I enjoyed him, enjoyed the way he kissed me everywhere. This man was obsessed with me, and I’d never felt more desirable in my life.
When he was completely finished and the moment passed, he pulled out of me then lay beside me, his tattooed frame sexy with streaks of sweat. Instead of giving me space to cool off, he wrapped his arms around me and cuddled me from behind, his dick pressed against my ass.
I felt the metal from his tags right against my back, reassuring me he was always there. With every breath, they pressed deeper into me, reminding me of his service and his history.
Soldier whined at the door, smart enough to understand that the fucking was over.
Finn sighed against the back of my neck. “I hate sharing you.”
“He hates sharing you too.”
“No. He hates sharing you.” He got out of bed and opened the door so Soldier could get comfortable in his usual spot. Finn came back to the bed and cuddled with me once more, the heat of his body welcome even though I was already warm.
“He loves both of us equally.”
He chuckled against my ear. “There’s no way you really believe that.”
“I do.”
His arm tightened across my stomach, and he sighed as he got comfortable.
“Finn?”
“Yes, baby?”
I knew I’d fallen in love with his man a long time ago. But I would never tell him how I felt because he wouldn’t say it back. It was far too early for that, so I didn’t test the waters. But since Finn was so intelligent, he might have figured it out on his own. “You said you didn’t see yourself ever getting married or having a family. Do you still feel that way?” I stared at the wall of his bedroom, seeing the dresser against it.
He was quiet for a long time.
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked the question. He’d called me his girlfriend, but somehow, I heard wedding bells. I’d been living in the moment with him, unsure if it would ever go anywhere, but after tonight, we really had a chance.
“I don’t know. I don’t think about the future much.”
That was the best answer I could have hoped for. I
t wasn’t a flat-out no, which was an improvement for him. “I was just curious…”
“As a principle, I don’t make plans. For the last ten years, I’ve always known I could die at any moment. The future has always been an unpredictable illusion I could never trust. So I don’t think about it too much. Once you do, it creates pressure and distress. Whatever happens, happens. I have no expectations.”
“Not a bad way to live.”
“I thought you were looking for a different answer.”
“No. The worst thing you could say is no, that you refuse that outcome at any point in time. It’s a terrible answer because you’re denying yourself a possibility you might want someday. Saying that the future is unpredictable is an acceptable answer. It’s a good answer.”
He was quiet as he lay behind me, his affection still prevalent. He didn’t pull away or twitch uncomfortably. “The second I met you, I was screwed. I’ve been screwed from the beginning…to meet a woman like you and do nothing about it. I’ve been all over the world, and I’ve never met a woman more beautiful, more pragmatic, more understanding. It makes me understand Colton’s jealousy—because that’s exactly what he is…jealous. He wishes he could keep you, wishes he could be straight. But he can’t…so he has to let you go.”
Finn worked early the next morning, so I woke up alone in the large bed with Soldier right beside me. The second Finn was gone, the dog took the vacated spot and pressed his back directly against mine.
My eyes opened, and I felt a weight in my left hand. My arm was stretched out on the bed beside me, my palm facing the ceiling. My thumbs stroked across the metal in my hand, feeling the distinct grooves carved into the surface. When I brought it close to my face and let my eyes adjust, I saw the metal of his dog tags.
His name was engraved on the surface along with the rest of his information.
It took me a second to understand what I was looking at, that the chain he never removed was sitting in my open palm.
I sat up and stared at it harder, imagining how bare his chest must feel without this necklace plunging far down between his pectoral muscles. He wore it in the shower, to work, and to bed. When he was on top of me, I could feel the smooth metal graze against my skin over and over.