Beckett watched the exchange without a word, angry at himself for not pulling back from Rachel at the beginning, as soon as he saw how enthusiastic Holly was. He knew better. He stood and clasped Holly’s shoulders, easing her away from Rachel.
“Have a good trip,” he told her.
She nodded. “Goodbye, Beckett.”
Chapter Sixteen
Holly’s first text came Monday morning.
Rachel was drinking coffee and eating toast in her tiny kitchen. Her view out the window was of the building next door. Her breakfasts at The Lilac Inn, in the spacious dining room, chatting with other visitors, had offered a view of Lake Margaret in the distance.
Miss u. Daddy looks sad.
Her heart ached. How the hell had this happened? She should tell Holly not to text her anymore, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Hopefully, the little girl would get so caught up in her life that she’d forget about her before too long. Though it killed her, Rachel didn’t respond.
Beckett’s text came the next morning. Are you okay?
I asked you not to text me.
Then text Holly back. She’s afraid you didn’t make it home.
I will. Sorry. Then after a moment, she sent another. Trying to discourage her from texting me.
I’ll tell her not to text you.
That felt cruel. No. I will if need be.
K. Come to the opening.
No.
Please.
Stop texting me.
She stared at her phone for a long time and when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, she was angry at herself. She couldn’t be disappointed when he’d honored her request. Her demand. Whatever.
She was back to working on the design plan for the Garibaldis. It seemed as if it had been months instead of weeks since she’d been there in the sterile condo, deciding between turquoise and gray for the living room walls. She drew up the plans with turquoise walls, and gray and purple accents. See what the homeowners thought of that. She wasn’t going to play it safe anymore.
She’d thought she’d hear from Stu or Mia within a few days of their return, but they left her on her own and she enjoyed the time to herself. At least, that’s what she told herself.
She started to look forward to her daily texts from Holly.
Mocha rolled in something disgusting. Daddy got soaked washing her.
Rachel laughed to herself as she pictured the big, strong Beckett wrestling little Mocha in a tub of soapy water. She wished she’d been there to see that.
No, she didn’t.
And another day. We took a boat ride 2day. It was fun.
Rachel remembered the night she and Beckett lay there, looking up at the stars, making love to the gentle rocking of the boat.
And later that week. Going school shopping with Emmie and her mom. Wish u could go with us.
Over the next few weeks, Rachel didn’t often text back, but when she got this one, she had to. Daddy said I shouldn’t text u so much but I said u’d tell me if u didn’t want me 2. U would, right? We’re friends.
Rachel responded, You can text me whenever you want to.
Holly replied, I knew it. We’re friends.
…
Beck had barely had a chance to talk to Davis since he came back to town. Beck had been busy with the bar. Davis had been busy with Suz. She offered to take the girls school shopping, and he and Davis sat out on the back porch to hang out while they were gone.
“How are things going?” he asked Davis.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“What do you mean? I’m fine. Busy getting the bar ready to open.”
“Come on. Holly said you’ve been moping around since Rachel left.”
“Do kids even use the word moping?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
Beck’s chest clenched. “We knew it was going to end this way. It’s okay. I’ll get over it.”
Davis set down his drink and turned to face him. “Listen, this is none of my business, but I’m your best friend and if I can’t ask the hard questions, who can?”
“Fair enough.” Beck had said the same thing to him.
“Do you ever fight for a relationship? Any relationship?”
“Fight?” All Beck could think about was the fight he had with Rachel on the boat.
“When Crystal told you she was leaving, did you fight for her?”
“She told me she didn’t want to be with me, what was I supposed to do?”
“So you let her go?”
“You don’t try to force a woman to change her mind. My mother taught me that years ago.”
“Yeah, but…” Davis looked out over the backyard for a moment, as if he were gathering his thoughts. “I’m not talking about forcing. I’m talking about making an effort, about not giving up right off the bat. Because, man, that’s what I did with Suz when we split. She told me what wasn’t working for her. And even though it killed me, I let her leave. I thought, like you did, why would I argue with someone who doesn’t want me?”
“Right.” But Beck thought he might understand where Davis was going with this. “But she did want you, right? It was the situation she didn’t want?”
“Exactly. But I didn’t see it at the time. Things seemed more black-and-white.” A smile lit his face. “But man, when I saw her this time, all I could think of was all the wasted years. I was willing to do anything for us to be together, and I told her that on the first night. Luckily, she was thinking the same thing. She said the traveling was beginning to wear on her, but she didn’t think Emmie and I would want her back in our lives.” He cleared his throat. “If I hadn’t said anything, who knows if she ever would have.”
“But I told Rachel I wanted her to stay. She left anyway. She’s afraid.”
“Of course she is. Aren’t we all afraid of big changes?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you love her?”
“Yeah.” No hesitation.
“Did she say she didn’t want you?”
“No. Maybe. I guess not.” But he didn’t fit into her life, her dream.
“I’m going to ask you the same thing I did a few weeks ago. If anything was possible, where would you like to be, no matter what?”
“With Holly and Rachel.”
“Would you do anything for you to be together?”
Beck took a deep breath. Anything? What would that entail? Anything? How would that affect his life? And Holly’s? She had to be a part of this, too, the most important part. All he’d said to Rachel was he wanted her to stay. He hadn’t asked for any input from her. Was there another way to make this work?
He slapped his friend on the shoulder. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” Maybe he needed to adjust his dream instead, if he wanted a chance at a life with Rachel.
…
The knock on Rachel’s door woke her, and her tablet nearly slipped out of her grasp. She’d fallen asleep on her sofa after scrolling through Lakeside’s Facebook page. The number of village comments about her had dropped, but her fans were still speculating on her and Beckett elsewhere. She’d been focusing more on the village page because she often got glimpses of The Salvage Station. And pics of Beckett.
Another knock. “Hold on.” Rachel stumbled to the door and saw Mia through the peephole. “Hey. Sorry. I was still asleep.”
“It’s not that early.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night.” Most nights. She shuffled back over to the sofa in her sloppy tee and plaid lounge pants.
Mia sat beside her. “Maybe this will help. I’ve got some great news for you.”
“So tell me.”
“You didn’t hear this from me…”
The nerves in her stomach tickled with anticipation. “My lips are sealed.”
>
“The network is thrilled with the buzz Ginny and I generated while we were in Lakeside. Your fans are sharing and commenting, and it hasn’t died down in the weeks we’ve been back. It sounds like they’re going to renew your contract even before the episode airs. Isn’t that great?”
It was. It was great. It was what she’d been working toward. She wouldn’t be a failure. No one could call her a has-been. So why wasn’t she jumping with joy?
“What about the projects?” Rachel asked. “Are they going to insist on the same old same old? Or can I branch into more commercial designs?”
“You’re going to have to ask Stu about that. But don’t ask him about it until you get the official news.”
“I won’t.” She’d done it. She’d saved her show. It was all she’d wanted. To keep living the dream.
Mia frowned. “You don’t sound very happy.”
Rachel forced a big smile. “I am. Really. I didn’t think it would happen so soon.”
“I’ll keep posting teasers for the episode. Are you sure you’re not going back when we film opening night? I’d think you’d be aching to be there.”
She was aching to be there. “No reason to.”
“Your fans would love to see you there.”
“I can’t.”
Mia was silent for a moment. “You got some coffee?”
“Yeah. I’ll make some.”
After they were both cradling steaming coffee mugs, Mia said, “I have some news of my own.”
“What?”
“I don’t think I want to be an interior designer after all. I’m going to focus on social media, website design, marketing, all that fun stuff I’ve been doing for a while now. Maybe someday I can be an influencer. I could have my own business and people will pay me to post on social media all day long.”
“But I thought your dream was to be an interior designer.”
Mia took a sip of French vanilla and shrugged. “Sometimes dreams change.”
…
Holly’s next daily text read Daddy says grand opening 1 mo from 2day.
That’s exciting.
Please come back 4 it.
Before Rachel could reply, Ethan called. He’d still been bugging her to decorate his newest four-unit condo. She sighed and then answered. “Hey.”
“Hey, guess what. Turns out I kind of miss having my big sister around.” Her brother’s voice sounded upbeat. “Just wanted to let you know that Helen and I have been talking about it, and we’ve decided to adopt.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah, it’s been weighing down on Helen, on us both, for years now. It’s time to try something new. She’s happier and hopeful for the first time in a long time.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“I hope once you have a niece or nephew in Lakeside, you’ll come to visit more often.”
“I’ll think about it.” How could she say no?
“And Mom and Dad aren’t getting any younger.”
“Ethan…”
“You need to stop hiding out in California.”
She looked around at her tiny apartment she hadn’t left in the past couple of days. “I’m not hiding out.”
“Could have fooled me.” He cleared his throat. “Listen. You are a talented designer. I know that. I know it’s your job and it’s a lot of work. How much do you charge for freelance work?”
Rachel was so surprised, it took her a moment to find the voice to tell him. And then when he choked, she said, “But I could offer you a family discount.”
“Then you’d do it?”
All she’d wanted was for her brother to appreciate her work and stop expecting it for nothing. “Yes. I’ll do it.”
“Great. I’ll even pay for you to travel back and forth to Lakeside.”
“I’m not sure I can promise to come back to Lakeside.” But it was getting harder and harder to say no. She thought of Beckett and his regret that he’d avoided his family for so long. She didn’t want to live with the same regrets.
…
Beck had been putting off this talk with his parents for a while now. It was like when he was away from Lakeside and the longer he’d been away, the harder it was to think about going back home. The longer it’d been, the easier it was to procrastinate. They needed to have this talk before The Salvage Station opened in a couple of weeks, and now aside from the apology he owed them, and the thanks they deserved, he needed to break the news about the change he was considering.
He’d asked them over to The Salvage Station. Holly was there, too, because any conversation about their future had to include her, and she should know about the past as well.
He led them over to one of the conversation areas that Rachel had surprised him with. He never would have thought the pops of rich red would fit so well with the wood and metal.
“I love this space,” his mother said. There was plenty of room for Pop’s wheelchair to maneuver and he pulled up beside Mom.
“You guys are the first ones to try it out. What would you like to drink?” Holly sat on the other side of his mother and ordered a Shirley Temple. He almost rolled his eyes but decided to go along with it. Mom wanted a red wine and Pop a beer. He poured himself some water and served everyone. He thought he’d be nervous, but it felt right, and that made all the difference.
“First,” he said after he took one of the red club chairs. “I love you guys. I know I don’t say it enough. I love you all.”
“We love you, too,” his mom said.
“Thanks. I’ve put you through a lot over the years and I’ve never apologized enough. But you never gave up on me. You welcomed me and Holly when we came back home, and I don’t know what I would have done without you. So thanks again.”
“We’re family,” Mom said with a shrug.
Beck knew it was simple for his mom but also knew it wasn’t always the same in other families. He thought of Rachel’s family and knew they were a big part of why she had a hard time opening up her heart.
“I also want to apologize for taking off all those years ago. For not telling you in the first place. For not keeping in touch. For causing you a ton of worry.” He sent Holly a mock glare. “Don’t ever do that to me. Learn from my mistakes.”
“Okay…”
Beck glanced at Pop, who was listening but not speaking out as he usually did. “I often thought you didn’t trust me. That you thought I’d take off again.”
“I trust you.”
He hoped so, because he was going to be testing that trust again. “I haven’t made it easy for you.” He cleared his throat and took a deep drink of water. “I thought you wanted someone else to work on this building because you didn’t think I could do it. Noah told me you wanted to take the burden off me and I didn’t believe him.”
“You think we want to make things harder for you?” Pop demanded.
“No. I think the problem was I didn’t always trust myself. I’ve done a lot of stupid things and just because I’m a grown-up doesn’t mean I still won’t make mistakes. But what I want to discuss with you now isn’t a mistake. It isn’t a sure thing, either, but I’m not going to make any plans again without talking with all three of you.”
“What plans, Daddy?”
He took a deep breath. How to begin? “You had fun going to Hershey, didn’t you? To see someplace new. I’ve never taken you on vacations so you could see other parts of the country.”
“It was fun going to Hershey, but it was the most fun because I was with Emmie.”
“Of course.” And that didn’t help things. “Would you like to see other parts of the country besides Lakeside?”
“Sure. Are we going to take a vacation?”
“Maybe. But maybe we should see what it’s like to actually live somewhere besides Lakeside.”
&nb
sp; Mom gasped but didn’t say anything. Beckett knew this was his mother’s greatest fear, but the conversation right now had to be between him and Holly.
“Live somewhere else?” His daughter studied him. “You want us to move away?”
“Something I’m thinking about. It’s possible nothing will come of this, but I didn’t want it to be a total surprise if it happened.”
“You want us to leave Grandma and Pop, and Uncle Noah and Aunt Anita and Uncle Carter and Aunt Katie and…and Emmie?” Tears welled in her eyes.
Beck grasped her hands. “We can come back and visit. We’ll text. And video chat, like we did when you were in Hershey. We’ll make lots of visits.” He glanced at his parents. “We’ll always keep in touch. Oh, don’t cry, sweetie. It might not even happen.”
“Can Mocha come with us?”
He hoped he wasn’t upsetting his little girl for nothing. “Of course.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “Why do you want to leave?”
Because he’d fallen in love for the first time in his life. “Because I don’t want fear of the unknown to stop us from trying something new. I don’t want you to be afraid to grasp an opportunity because you don’t know what will happen. Maybe it won’t work out.” He squeezed her hands as she looked up at him with an apprehensive gaze. “But maybe it could be amazing.”
Now he turned to his parents, who were staring at him in disbelief. “This wasn’t an easy decision for me. And I know I’m disappointing you again. I know you think this is just like before, but it’s not. Not for me. If I decide to move away from Lakeside, I won’t be running away. Before, I was a kid who was afraid of being trapped in a life I didn’t think I wanted, and so I did run away, looking for greener grass and all that crap.”
“And now?” Pop’s frown said he wasn’t on board.
“This bar was everything to you.” The words rushed out of his mother’s mouth with the same fear he heard over the phone twenty years ago. “And you want to leave it behind? Leave us behind, the business, too?”
He wasn’t that eighteen-year-old kid anymore. He couldn’t ignore the questions or the emotions. “I don’t want to leave Lakeside. I’ve been proud to work in the family business. I don’t want to leave the bar or you guys. This was a tough choice.” He had to clear his throat before he could go on. “But I’m forty years old and, for the first time in my life, I’ve met a woman I can imagine a future with.”
The Goodbye Guy (The Men of Lakeside) Page 24