Tangled Lives

by Stephanie Harte

  Nathan was fantastic with Luca. He had been a hands-on dad since day one. But we weren’t living in the Dark Ages, so why shouldn’t my husband change the odd nappy? I found it difficult to accept that everybody thought Nathan was amazing for taking an active role in Luca’s life. Whereas it was expected of me, and I wasn’t a natural. I knew I was underperforming. Presumably, that’s why Nathan had felt the need to round up the cavalry behind my back. But, instead of making things better, he’d made me see red. The more I thought about it, the angrier I was becoming.

  Because Rosa had skirted around the truth when she came to see me earlier, I’d responded by immediately putting my guard up. I wasn’t stupid and could see right through their plan. Although Nathan had enlisted Rosa to help me, he’d made matters worse and undermined my confidence. I felt embarrassed that I was struggling to do something that should have come naturally to me. So when my mother-in-law asked me how I was getting on, I wasn’t going to tell her the real reason I was on edge. I followed her example and told her a lie.

  29

  Gemma

  The following afternoon we were treated to an unexpected visit from Alfie.

  ‘We’re a bit short-staffed at the moment, as Tommy, Johno and Frankie are being detained by Her Majesty and we could do with an extra pair of hands,’ Alfie said, relaxing back on the sofa in Gareth’s living room. ‘I want you to assist Knuckles with a spot of debt collecting, Nathan, in lieu of what you owe me.’

  ‘Thanks for the offer, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not.’ Nathan began biting his nails.

  Alfie smirked, then threw his head back and laughed. ‘You’re hilarious, Nathan. You crack me up.’

  ‘I wasn’t joking,’ Nathan replied with a deadpan expression on his face.

  ‘You double-crossed me, so now you owe me. Hand over the cash you stole from me if you don’t want the baby to come to harm.’

  Alfie’s words stung as they penetrated my brain. Threatening my baby was a low blow even for a depraved gangster like him. This situation had nothing to do with Luca. Nathan and I had taken his money. I shook my head in an attempt to banish the thought, but it kept floating around in my mind.

  ‘I don’t think you’re in any position to refuse, do you?’

  ‘I’ll pay you back, but I’m not working for you again.’

  ‘I don’t like repeating myself, but perhaps I didn’t make myself clear: once you join the firm, you’re in it for life. I can’t let you go because then I’d have to trust you to keep our secrets.’

  ‘You know they’re safe with me.’

  Alfie watched myself and Nathan exchange glances. It went without saying if the police asked questions, becoming deaf, blind and mute was the only option. If you wanted to see another birthday, it wasn’t a good idea to snitch on a gangster.

  I felt my blood run cold, and my heartbeat quickened. Alfie’s words hit me like a steam train. I could feel them ringing in my ears. As Nathan and I stared at each other, a muscle twitched in my husband’s jaw. We’d used some of Alfie’s money to pay for our dream apartment, so we weren’t in a position to say no to his demands. Nathan didn’t want to work for Alfie, but until we paid back what we owed, he didn’t have a choice. Alfie had taken hold of our lives and was about to shred them to pieces while we stood by and watched helplessly.

  Nathan’s shoulders drooped as he accepted his fate. We were trapped, and Alfie was about to exploit the situation. There was no way out for the foreseeable future, and so the cycle continued.

  ‘You can play the role of the mediator. You haven’t got the presence to be an enforcer,’ Alfie said to belittle Nathan.

  Realising my self-control was a limited resource, I clamped my mouth shut. I decided to stay silent and not tell him exactly what I thought of him. That was better left unsaid. But my throat felt like it was on fire as I struggled to keep the tirade within. I decided to direct a bitter glare at Alfie instead of giving him a piece of my mind.

  ‘Is something the matter? You’ve got a face like a slapped arse, Gemma.’ Alfie smiled.

  Fury began to bubble up inside me, but I knew it wouldn’t be wise to unleash it on Alfie, even though I was seriously tempted to. The way Alfie stood staring at me made me nervous. He was waiting for me to speak, but I couldn’t trust myself not to say the wrong thing. His blue eyes scanned over every inch of me with such intensity; I felt my pulse quicken in response. He was studying me like a spider watching a fly.

  ‘So that’s sorted then, Knuckles will pick you up at midnight tomorrow, Nathan. This isn’t a nine-to-five job.’ Alfie got to his feet and sauntered out of Gareth’s house.

  30

  Gemma

  How could I stop Alfie from hurting my child when my confidence had disappeared almost overnight? Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a failure staring back at me, instead of the strong woman I once was. I had to shed the insecurities that were weighing me down before they took over my life. Deep down, I knew I was stronger than I thought I was, I’d proved that to myself before. But Alfie’s threat had caused crippling fear to spread rapidly inside me like a cancer. Perhaps if I channelled that fear, it would give me the push I needed to find my strength again.

  Luca was a helpless baby, so keeping him safe was bound to be my main priority. I was a protective lioness, so it went without saying that I would shield my son from anything harmful. What sort of mother would I be if I couldn’t do that?

  Alfie liked to play games. It suddenly occurred to me that his remark was intended to torment me. But I couldn’t afford to let him get inside my head and overpower me. If he took control of my mind, the battle between us would be over. I mustn’t show any vulnerable emotions, or Alfie would feed off of my weakness.

  Alfie had used our child as leverage to ensure that Nathan and I followed his orders. He knew we wouldn’t put Luca in danger. It disgusted me that he was prepared to stoop so low to get what he wanted.

  You would have thought trafficking drugs and extorting money from innocent people would become tiresome after a while. It wasn’t as if the Watsons needed the income to live on. They were running a business empire that had been passed down from generation to generation. It hadn’t just appeared out of thin air; they’d built it up over the years. The Watsons had worked hard to achieve their position, gobbling up their competition and everything in their path.

  In Alfie’s line of work, you had to earn your status. You didn’t become a respected underworld boss by chance. The role required one hundred per cent commitment. If Alfie’s dominance was ever called into question, he would be happy to beat the shit out of his rivals to reinforce his power over them. It was a ruthless world. I wished Luca didn’t have to be a part of any of this. If I could, I’d wrap him in cotton wool and let him grow up in a bubble away from the danger.

  31

  Gemma

  Dressed in Gareth’s only suit, the one he wore for weddings and funerals, Nathan paced up and down the living room, glancing up at the clock every ten seconds or so. He was clearly agitated while he waited for Knuckles to arrive. Hearing a car pull up outside at midnight, he walked over to the window that looked out onto the street. Knuckles was just about to get out of the driver’s door.

  ‘I’d better go,’ Nathan said, without making eye contact with me. He straightened his tie and dusted something invisible off the front of the black jacket before walking out of the door.

  That was the first thing Nathan had said to me all day. He’d stayed out of my way because he hadn’t wanted to discuss the situation we were in again. I wanted to run after my husband and beg him not to go, but the atmosphere between us was frosty and awkward, and I was experiencing the sensation of a huge weight pushing down on my chest. It had me pinned to the spot, and I felt like I couldn’t move. I was incredibly concerned for my husband’s safety. I didn’t want Nathan to work for Alfie; it was too dangerous. The problem was, we didn’t have another choice, so I had to let him go.

  Whe
n the front door closed, tears welled up in my eyes, but they were a useless by-product. They couldn’t change the situation. It frustrated me that the slightest thing seemed to set me off at the moment. No doubt that was a result of my fluctuating hormones. My emotions were all over the place, rising and crashing like ocean waves.

  When we’d made the decision to take Alfie’s cash out of the safe before we left the burning yacht, we thought we had planned our escape carefully. We were only going to have one chance to pull it off, so we couldn’t afford for anything to go wrong. Although at the time I’d felt uncertain, I focused on something Alfie had told me to give me the strength to see it through. You should never expect to get caught. Otherwise, you lined yourself up to fail.

  With that thought firmly planted in my head, Nathan and I disappeared into the night. We never expected to see Alfie again. We were going to do our best to stay under the radar and use his money to finance a new life for ourselves. We deserved it after what he’d put us through. But sometimes even the best-laid plans end up failing.

  I genuinely thought we’d left the dramas of our time with Alfie behind us after we settled in the Costa del Sol. In hindsight, I should have known better. If Nathan and I hadn’t trusted Alfie to keep his side of the bargain, we could have given him back the money, and we wouldn’t be in this position now.

  My mind was in turmoil. I’d been taking my frustration out on my husband, and that wasn’t fair. Since we’d become parents, I’d discovered Nathan had vast resources of patience I never knew he had. He had been incredible with Luca and a tower of strength to me. If something happened to him tonight, I’d never forgive myself for being such a bitch to him. I wished we’d made peace before he’d left. But I’d been out of sorts all day. There was an undercurrent of trouble in the air. Something didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  As I sat on my own in the living room, mulling things over, I bitterly regretted not trying to stop him now. I loved my husband more than anything.

  32

  Nathan

  An enormous wave of guilt washed over me and smothered me. I felt like I was drowning and had to stop myself from gasping for breath as I stood in the bedroom of the unfortunate man who owed Alfie money. The man couldn’t disguise the look of terror on his face when he opened his eyes and saw the outlines of Knuckles and myself in the doorway. At this stage, all the man knew was that he had uninvited guests, but he was about to find out why.

  Knuckles and I stood side by side in the shadows, as he rhythmically swung a baseball bat backwards and forwards, catching it in his huge hand. The whooshing sound the metal made as it glided through the air penetrated the tense silence.

  ‘Mr Watson has sent us here so that you understand what will happen to you if you try to take the piss out of him. This is a taste of what’s to come if you’re late with the repayment again.’

  I delivered the ultimatum as I’d been instructed to, and as I did, the man sat up and backed himself into the headboard. Wide-eyed with terror, the colour drained from his face and perspiration broke out on his forehead. As the threat registered, his Adam’s apple went into overdrive.

  Alfie always carried out business of this nature in the early hours of the morning, knowing his victim would find being woken in the night by the presence of intruders terrifying and that the intimidation would work twice as well. It was Alfie’s calling card. I remembered it only too well. A vision of Knuckles swinging the very same baseball bat at the end of Gemma’s and my bed brought an unpleasant memory flooding back into my mind. I could relate to this situation only too well, and that made me feel uneasy. I had been in this man’s shoes not so long ago. Now I had become Alfie’s messenger boy, and one of the people sent to collect his debt. The thought of that left a bad taste in my mouth.

  Under normal circumstances, intimidation would be enough to drive the message home, without us having to resort to violence. But Alfie had decided the man had taken liberties and needed to be taught a lesson, so this wasn’t going to be a verbal warning. Knuckles approached the bed and pulled back the covers. The naked man instinctively curled himself into a ball on the mattress. Crippled by fear, he lay motionless waiting for the punishment he knew was coming his way.

  Dragging him to his feet, Alfie’s henchman squared up to his prey. Knuckles towered over the middle-aged pot-bellied man, who quivered like a human jelly as his toes sank into the beige shag pile carpet. Knuckles began swinging the bat backwards and forwards again, catching it in his hand. He was going to take his time to dole out the beating, to intensify the man’s panic. The victim’s naked state stripped him of any dignity he might have had while he waited for Knuckles to deliver his fate.

  The man begged for mercy after Knuckles struck him with the bat. I felt myself flinch. It would be a long time before I’d forget the sound of his ribs cracking when the metal made contact with his skin. Knuckles ignored the man’s pleas and delivered a series of brutal blows, repeatedly hitting him across his back. My blood ran cold as I watched Knuckles beat the poor man into a pulp. There was nothing I could do to help him. If I didn’t do exactly what Alfie instructed, I would be the next in line.

  Unable to take any more, the man fell to his knees and began weeping like a baby. Then, fearing for his life, he lost control of his bladder. I heard his pee hit the carpet before the undeniable scent of urine wafted into the air.

  Knowing that he’d made the man incontinent with fright put a smile on Knuckles’ face. ‘That’s the sound that strikes fear into the heart of every dog owner. Go and clean yourself up, you disgusting piece of shit,’ he said, before we retreated from the room.

  33

  Gemma

  Nathan and I had become ships that passed in the night due to the unsociable hours he was working. Alfie was exploiting Nathan’s role as general dogsbody to the maximum. We’d hardly clapped eyes on each other in days.

  Nathan seemed to be taking the demands of his new role in his stride, but I was struggling with it. I didn’t know if it was the stress of the situation, or the lack of sleep that went hand in hand with having a baby that was to blame for the way I felt. Either way, every time Nathan went out on a job with Knuckles, I wondered if that would be the last time I’d see him. It was a dangerous line of work, so there was more than a chance he’d end up six feet under. Despair took on a battle with anger inside my head and left my mental state teetering on the edge. I was in danger of losing the plot if I didn’t get a grip.

  Nathan was officially nocturnal and slept for much of the day. Alfie was taking advantage of that and kept turning up at Gareth’s house unannounced. To help Luca and I pass the time, while my husband was resting, he’d insist on taking us out.

  ‘If Nathan worked regular hours, we wouldn’t need to tiptoe around the house all day,’ I said, unable to keep my thoughts to myself as I pushed Luca’s pram around the deserted park.

  Alfie smiled. ‘You’ve just given me a good idea, Gemma. I could always offer Nathan a job at our casino. That’s open during the day.’

  Up until that moment, I hadn’t realised the Watsons owned a casino. Panic coursed through my veins. Even though working in the casino wouldn’t have been nearly as dangerous as some of the things Nathan had been doing, it would be a disaster. Nathan had a gambling addiction that he struggled to keep under control, so the temptation would be too great for him. It would be like giving an alcoholic a job in a pub. I hoped Alfie wouldn’t carry out his threat and exploit Nathan’s vulnerability. Even if he didn’t already have a gambling problem, it would be easy to develop one if you worked in that environment.

  The look on my face must have said it all. Alfie knew he’d got under my skin. I didn’t know how to respond without making matters worse, so I decided to say nothing.

  ‘Maybe I’ll give him a trial on the blackjack tables. He knows the rules of the game, so becoming a dealer would be a piece of piss for him.’

  Alfie had pushed me too far. I stopped walking
and stared at him for a moment. Before I could stop myself, the palm of my hand raised. The sound of my slap echoed through the air. I watched Alfie’s reaction. He flinched when my hand made contact with his skin. I’d left a red, throbbing mark on his cheek. The look of anger in his glare spoke volumes. I had succeeded in momentarily wiping the smug smile off his face, but at what cost? What the hell was I thinking of?

  ‘You shouldn’t have done that, Gemma.’ Alfie glared at me with poorly disguised fury in his eyes. ‘You have a real anger management issue. You’ve got to overcome the impulse to lash out, or that temper of yours is going to land you in trouble. I’ve got a good mind to press charges against you.’ Alfie smiled, but the twinkle in his blue eyes was missing.

  My heart pounded against my ribcage as I tried to calm myself down. Why had I let Alfie get to me? No matter how tough the situation was, and no matter how much he was trying to wind me up, I shouldn’t have let Alfie realise how much he was affecting me.

  Even though I didn’t want to, I knew I had to say sorry. But when I went to speak, my brain didn’t want to co-operate, and nothing came out of my mouth. Finally, between gritted teeth, I forced myself to apologise and begged Alfie not to give Nathan a job at the casino. I didn’t want him to abuse the situation because I knew the temptation would be too much for Nathan. When I finally managed to get my words out, they left a bitter taste behind.

  ‘I like watching you grovel; being subservient suits you. You should try it more often.’ Alfie winked. ‘If I agree to your request, how are you going to repay the favour?’ Alfie flashed me a smile that left me in no doubt what he was implying. The way he scanned every inch of my body with his piercing blue eyes made me uneasy.