I shook my head. ‘I’m not taking those. I don’t want them.’ A defiant tone crept into my voice.
‘I didn’t ask you if you wanted to take them. Do yourself a favour and follow orders for once.’ Alfie walked over to the bedside cabinet and picked up a glass of water. He brought it over to where I was standing. ‘We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours. Now swallow the pills like a good girl. You need to rest, and they’ll help you sleep.’
When I looked into Alfie’s eyes, they were cold and expressionless. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and I didn’t want to imagine what Alfie’s was like. For Luca’s sake, I knew I had to do what he said. But when Alfie slid his hands around my waist and kissed me on each cheek. I had to stop myself from recoiling. His embrace lingered too long for comfort. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t afford to annoy him at this stage. Thankfully he took his hands off me and stepped back.
‘Goodnight, Gemma, sweet dreams, darling,’ Alfie said before walking out of the door.
76
Gemma
Nathan and Gareth followed the housekeeper through the dining room and into the huge kitchen. I was sitting on a stool in front of the granite breakfast bar and spun around on my seat when they entered the room.
Nathan rushed towards the central island and threw his arms over my shoulders. I burrowed my face into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.
‘Are you OK?’ Nathan pulled away from me and his dark eyes gazed into mine.
Instead of replying to him, I burst into tears. Up until that moment, I’d managed to hold it all together, but the minute Nathan put his arms around me, I let my guard down and turned into a needy, insecure person. In the blink of an eye, I totally fell to pieces and my emotions went into overdrive. I was so relieved that Nathan was pleased to see me after everything I’d put him through that I became overwhelmed and loud, uncontrollable sobs escaped from my lips.
‘What’s with the waterworks?’ Alfie asked.
The sound of Alfie’s voice stopped my river of tears instantly. I’d allowed myself to show weakness. I didn’t want him to use that against me. He was a master of psychological torture.
Alfie’s shoes echoed as he walked across the kitchen floor with an air of confidence. When he came face to face with my husband, they locked eyes. He pulled a gun out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket and pointed it at Nathan. ‘I’ve had enough of this bullshit. You need to tell Nathan what’s been going on or I’ll be forced to do a spot of target practice.’
That was the moment I realised Alfie hadn’t told Nathan about Luca. I was shocked and more than a little relieved. I should have known Nathan didn’t have any idea. I’m not sure he would have bothered to come looking for me if he knew what I was keeping from him.
‘You look surprised, Gemma. Did you think I’d let Nathan in on our little secret?’ Alfie winked then flashed me a smile. ‘Believe me, I was tempted to, but I was too preoccupied with tracking you down.’
Running away hadn’t solved anything in the long run. It might even have made matters worse. I should have stayed and faced up to what I’d done.
‘It’s time to come clean. Either you tell him, or I will.’ Alfie put the gun back inside his jacket, walked around to the other side of the breakfast bar and stood opposite us. He eyed me with a smile on his face. He was enjoying watching me squirm.
I knew that wasn’t an empty threat. He had been itching to tell Nathan the truth, and now that he had the opportunity, he was going to use it. The best I could hope for was damage limitation. I needed to buy myself a bit of time so that I could choose my words carefully. Once they were out, I could never take them back.
The pleasure of owning up to my husband had fallen back into my hands. Bracing myself for the inevitable backlash, I felt a sense of impending doom. Keeping secrets of any size from your partner is an act of betrayal. But the skeleton in my closet was of such monumental proportions, it was going to create seismic shock waves like a tsunami. As I plucked up the courage to come clean, I knew I’d failed in my attempt to protect Nathan from the agony the truth would bring. As he stared at me, the pain in his eyes was so intense, I felt like I’d taken a knife and plunged it into his heart.
Even with Alfie’s threat hanging over me, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I knew how much Nathan loved Luca, and even though he’d been reluctant to start a family, he was a brilliant dad. He adored the baby. It would break his heart when he found out the truth. I didn’t want to be the one to have to do that to him. Nathan was the only man I’d ever loved. He was my soulmate, and the thought of having to destroy him was more than I could bear. The guilt was eating away at me. I knew I needed to own up to my husband, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I should have known this would happen. Lies bred lies. It would have been a lot easier if I had told him the truth in the beginning, instead of tricking him into believing that Luca was his child.
Nathan looked at me with a haunted expression on his face as a muscle twitched in his jaw. He knew something bad was about to happen. Buckling under the weight of his accusatory stare, the tears I’d tried desperately to hold in began to flow. I glanced over to Alfie. He was staring at Nathan as a faint smile played on his lips. I saw the colour drain from Nathan’s face before he spoke.
‘You don’t need to explain; I understand what’s going on. You two have been sleeping together again, haven’t you? How could you do this to me, Gemma? After everything we’ve been through. I was a fool to ever think I could trust you again.’
I had trouble digesting Nathan’s words, and my reply got stuck in my throat. Before I had the chance to say anything, my husband turned on his heel and stomped off across the kitchen floor. I jumped off of the stool and ran after him, but he quickened his pace as I tried to close the gap between us. I was suddenly aware of loud footsteps coming up behind me, one, two, three, four. They speeded up before I had a chance to react. I was ploughed into from behind, and I found myself immediately immobilised. Alfie’s arms wrapped around me and stopped me in my tracks. I fought him with everything I had, but he was too strong. All I could do was watch as my husband disappeared out of sight.
Gareth glanced over in my direction as he hobbled after his son. The look of disgust on his face was clear.
‘Please tell Nathan he’s got it all wrong. I’m not sleeping with Alfie. I need to talk to him so that I can straighten this out.’ I hoped my father-in-law would pass on the message.
Gareth stopped walking and turned towards me. ‘I’ll tell him, Gemma, but I’m not sure he’ll want to speak to you at the moment. You need to give him time to calm down.’
77
Nathan
My head felt like it was going to explode as I drove out of the gates of Darkwood Manor. Gemma had betrayed me again. I couldn’t bear the thought of her with another man. To block out the pain, I put my foot down and floored the Mondeo. As the car raced through the forest, I sat behind the wheel in a trance-like state. Dad sat beside me in the passenger seat, gripping the handle on the door as the Ford sped along the twisty country lane. I knew I was driving dangerously, but I was so full of adrenaline I couldn’t seem to stop. To convince myself this situation was real, and I wasn’t experiencing a nightmare, I needed to feel the danger of the white-knuckle ride.
The rain was pelting against the windscreen and visibility was poor. Dad suggested I slow down, due to the adverse weather conditions, but I was in no mood to listen to reason until I almost crashed the Mondeo into another car when it sped past us on one of the narrowest stretches. Neither of us were prepared to give way, and we narrowly avoided colliding with each other. Dad winced at the sound of the hedgerows scraping the windows and paintwork of his car. I braked heavily, and the Mondeo came to an abrupt stop. Almost having an accident was the shock I’d needed to bring myself back to reality. If I wrapped the car around a lamppost or we ended up in a ditch, it wasn’t going
to solve anything. I was behaving recklessly and had put our lives in danger. That was a selfish thing to do.
Realising I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to listen to a lecture, Dad stayed quiet when I put the car into gear and drove off at a sensible pace. A few minutes earlier, he’d told me that I was going to crash if I wasn’t careful, but he didn’t rub my nose in the near-miss. He’d had the good grace to stay silent for the rest of the journey and left me with my thoughts.
Once my rage had subsided, it was replaced with a gut-wrenching feeling of despair. I had to fight the urge to break down in tears. Not many men would have been bothered to stick around if they found out their wife had been unfaithful to them. But like a fool, I believed Gemma when she’d told me she’d never cheat on me again. I should never have given her another chance. If I hadn’t, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. The old wounds had resurfaced. Gemma and I would never be able to come back from this, and the thought of that made a feeling of utter devastation come over me.
*
I stomped into the kitchen once we were back at Dad’s house, pulled open the fridge door, and got out two bottles of Stella. I opened them and handed one to my dad as he hobbled into the room.
Dad took a seat at the wooden table. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked.
After taking a large gulp of my beer, I pulled out the chair opposite him. I slammed the bottle down on the table in a fit of rage before clasping my hands behind my head. ‘She’s totally fucking heartless. How could she do this to me again? She knows how strongly I feel about cheating.’ My tone of voice conveyed my fury. I didn’t try to keep a lid on my volcanic temper. I needed to let the anger out.
‘For what it’s worth, Gemma said you’ve got it wrong. Nothing is going on between her and Alfie.’
Dad was doing his best to pacify me, but my world was falling apart.
‘She’s bound to say that, isn’t she?’
Dad shrugged. ‘She seemed pretty convincing.’
I ran my fingers through my hair and looked into the middle distance as I digested my dad’s words.
‘You can tell me to mind my own business if you like, but what happened between Gemma and Alfie?’
I brought my eyes back to Dad’s, took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly through my nostrils. ‘They had a one-night stand about a year ago. Gemma promised me if I gave her another chance she’d never be unfaithful again, and like a fool, I believed her. How come the people you love the most hurt you the worst?’ I locked eyes with my dad and tears began rolling down my cheeks. Having my heart broken again by the woman I loved was soul-destroying.
‘Seeing you in agony like this has made a lump form in my throat. I wish I could do something to take your pain away.’ Dad’s steely blue eyes misted over when he spoke.
I slumped forward and rested my elbows on the table. The feeling of being betrayed by Gemma for the second time weighed heavy on my shoulders. I was becoming trapped in a downward spiral of negativity. I didn’t want to think about breaking up with my wife, but I had to face the fact it was on the horizon. If she’d strayed again, I knew that was my only option. There would be no coming back from it this time. Our marriage would be over. I would never be able to trust her again.
‘What am I going to do?’
Dad blew out a long breath. ‘You’re asking the wrong man. I don’t exactly have a great track record with women. Look at what happened to my marriage. It ended in divorce before it even got started. Whereas you and Gemma have been together for a long time.’
‘I feel like going around there now and beating the shit out of Alfie. He only wants her because she’s with me. He’s doing the same thing Jethro did to Mum.’ My lips thinned as I clenched my jaw.
‘I’m sorry, Nathan, you’ll have to rewind a little bit. I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Dad looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face.
I bit the side of my lip. It was obvious from the look on my dad’s face that he knew nothing about this. I’d unintentionally let the cat out of the bag. ‘I’m sorry, I thought you knew.’
‘Knew what? I think you better tell me what’s going on.’ Dad’s expression changed. His words had a cold edge to them.
After more than thirty years apart, we had become close recently. I was reluctant to do anything that might change that. Much as I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, I knew I had to finish what I’d started.
‘Jethro set you up when you went to rob that Securicor van,’ I began, choosing my words carefully.
‘Yeah, I know the bastard did. From the day Levi died, my card was marked. It was only a matter of time before the family got even with me. They got me sent down as payback for Levi’s death.’
I started biting the nails on my right hand. How was I going to break this to my dad? If Alfie’s version of events was correct, there was another reason entirely why Jethro wanted to see my father locked up.
‘That’s not what Alfie told Gemma.’ My face was expressionless.
Dad stared at me with hollow eyes. ‘What did Alfie tell her?’
I took a deep breath. ‘Alfie said, Jethro wanted you behind bars, so he’d be free to make a move on Mum. He was obsessed with her.’
Dad pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. I could see the unexpected news had shocked him to the core. He looked like I’d slapped him across the face. His normally placid demeanour was replaced with fury. Dad’s lips thinned, and he began to shake his head. He was unable to believe what I’d just told him.
‘I’m going to kill that fucking bastard.’ Dad spat out his bitter words. ‘I’ve dreamt for years about bringing Jethro Watson to justice, and making him suffer for everything he did to me, but you mellow as you get older and I’d pushed that idea out of my head. After what you’ve told me, it’s reignited my desire for revenge.’
I could see anger burning in Dad’s eyes. He was struggling to stay calm and keep his temper under control. It was horrible to see him like this; he was normally so easy-going.
Dad covered his tormented face with his hands, then he clasped his long fingers together in front of his chest. ‘Even though I might not like what you’re going to say, you must tell me the truth. What did your mother do?’ Dad asked the question, but I could see he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to it.
‘She turned him down, of course. Mum didn’t want anything to do with him.’ I gave Dad a half-smile.
‘Thank God for that.’ Dad breathed a sigh of relief, and I noticed his forehead unpucker.
Dad had broken my mum’s heart, so she didn’t want to ever be in a relationship again. I became Mum’s main focus in life. She poured everything she had into raising me. The thought of that made me feel sad. I’d given her such a hard time when I’d found out she’d lied to me. She was only twenty-two when Dad was sent down and didn’t know what to do for the best. I should have been more understanding. I wished we’d never fallen out over it. Not being on speaking terms had been a horrible experience for both of us. But I was glad to say I’d gradually come to terms with my mum’s decision to withhold the truth from me, and I’d finally let go of my resentment.
‘By all accounts, Jethro was furious when Mum knocked him back,’ I said after a lengthy pause.
‘I bet he was.’ That brought a smile to Dad’s face.
‘Alfie told Gemma that Jethro never gave a shit about Nora the whole time they were married because he was in love with Mum.’
Dad shook his head and mulled the thought over before he replied. ‘Jethro did treat Nora appallingly, but I never suspected it was because he was harbouring feelings for your mum. Back in the day, he was a cocky little wanker, and I think it made him feel like a big man to trample all over his wife. Everyone could see she was terrified of him.’
Now I was questioning Alfie’s version of events. Had Jethro really been in love with Mum, or did he just want to take her away from my dad as another way of getting revenge? Jethro
made no secret of the fact that he hated Dad and had a long-held grudge against him. But I thought it was because the two of them were in love with the same woman. I hadn’t known about Levi. I wondered if Alfie knew that part of the story. It certainly added another dimension to their feud.
‘Jethro set me up big time. I was charged with attempted murder, armed robbery, possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life or injure property. I’m not proud of what I did. I was young and stupid, so I had to pay my debt to society.’
‘And you did. We all had to pay the price for your mistake.’
Dad’s mouth fell open, and he stared at me with a horrified look on his face.
I lowered my eyes to the floor. ‘I’m sorry, Dad, I shouldn’t have said that. It was insensitive of me.’
‘Your mum hadn’t worked since you were born and we were short of cash,’ Dad said by way of explanation. ‘Jethro said it was easy money, and his family would look favourably on me for carrying out the job. In return for my involvement, the slate would be wiped clean.’
I shook my head. That sounded familiar; Alfie had done the same thing to us. He’d told Gemma if she visited a jewellery shop for him and did a bit of shopping, he’d clear my debt. Of course he hadn’t kept his word.
‘I was keen to make peace and Jethro led me to believe our feud would be forgotten. It’s never a good idea to fall out with such a powerful family, so I stupidly agreed to do the job as a one-off. I should have known Jethro would set me up. He despised me.’ Dad ran his fingers through his greying hair before interlocking them at the back of his head. Although he felt the need to explain the situation, he was struggling to tell the story. ‘After I got sent to prison, I lost my wife and the chance to watch you grow up.’ Dad shook his head; the emotion in his voice was evident.
‘Jethro changed the whole course of our lives,’ I added through gritted teeth.
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