by Cecilia Lane
At least he had a mate.
Jesse clamped down on the thought. He snarled as he walked right behind the bear and kicked him hard in the back leg. Alex whirled and roared in his face.
Jesse glared into the glowing green eyes of the wild bear. He let his own animal bleed into his glare. Iron will kept the beast from lashing out or taking over. “Shift back,” he ordered again, throat full with a growl.
Fury flickered in Alex’s eyes. One second slipped into another before his shape finally shimmered and broke apart. It was a small mercy. Jesse wouldn’t have to beat him into submission with an audience watching.
“Tell your boys to play nice. There wouldn’t have been any problem if that one had kept his mouth shut.” Trent nodded toward Alex.
Alex, in turn, spat blood on the ground. His eyes still glowed when he lifted his head. “Just telling truths. Not my problem if the little pussy cat coughed up a hairball over them.”
One of Trent’s lions lifted a lip and snarled, eyes flashing amber with his inner beast.
“And you’re entirely powerless in this situation?” Jesse snapped back. Fucking lions. Crazy, every last one of them.
They weren’t his concern, though. He wheeled around on Alex. The man still crouched in the dirt, catching his breath. Agitation electrified the air around him. Jesse had seen enough over the years to know he could still go back to brawling bear in a second. With the fence needing a mend and the herds mingled together, no one had time for another meltdown. “You good to clean up this mess?”
Alex growled as he pushed to his feet and ripped jeans out of his saddlebag. “Let those dickholes clean it up. It’s their problem in the first place.”
“Fuck no, it’s not,” one of the lions growled.
Alex spat again, then mounted his horse.
Jesse resisted the urge to run a hand down his face. Or find some deserted island with absolutely zero lions or bears to disturb him. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
Alex kneed his mount around, throwing his arms wide. “You want to be the one who gets his balls snipped for missing my date with Liv?”
“I think she’ll understand when she knows what fuckery happened here.” Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Hunter slinking away. As much as six-feett of a man on horseback could slink, anyway. “You’re not getting away, either. Didn’t see you do shit to stop this from happening.”
“Seems optional when there’s no chance of fixing all this tonight. Besides, Joss seems sweet and all, but this last month has turned her into a damn monster. A sexy, gorgeous, fertile goddess, but a damn monster with unlimited cravings.” Hunter smirked insolence at him. “You don’t have anywhere to be.”
Both of them raised middle finger salutes as they wheeled their horses around and galloped off toward their fucking happy nights.
“Assholes,” Jesse seethed. In his head, his bear raged. He ground his teeth together and breathed deep to keep the turmoil locked away.
The men of the clan were prickly at the best of times, but he’d felt like he was trying to swim with his hands tied behind his back and cement around his feet when dealing with them lately.
The line had been drawn in the sand, but no one dared to voice the words until that moment.
Nowhere to be. No one waiting at home for him. Yeah, that was his life. He’d been left behind while the others all found their joy and eternal happiness.
They had mates. He didn’t.
He didn’t begrudge the other men their happiness. Hell, he was proud of them. They’d all overcome incredible odds to keep themselves steady enough to accept the love of good women.
They still rubbed him raw every time he had to be around them. Which was every second of the damn day, felt like. The men worked together. Tansey and Joss were fixtures in the main house with their bed-and-breakfast. The other mates put their heads to pillows in the territory at the end of the day. He couldn’t escape the monumental happiness lurking around every fucking corner.
Trent whistled sharply. Scowl on his face, he yelled at his pride, “You fuckfaces start winding up the wire on the ground. We don’t need anyone getting tangled up in that mess.”
Jesse caught hold of his horse’s reins and stroked a hand down her nose as he surveyed the disaster. The fence needed to be fixed first, then the cattle needed to be separated back out. So much work, and all for what? Releasing a little aggression?
Fuckers needed to learn there was a time and place for everything.
When he looked up, Trent was picking his way through the wreckage of the fence. Shit.
“Got our work cut out for us tomorrow.” Trent cleared his throat. “I could use an extra hand. Permanently, that is. I need someone who knows how to manage others.”
Jesse pulled up short. Of all the things he expected Trent to say, that was far, far down the list. “You just saw my audition tape. If that’s the kind of management that passes on your side of the fence, you’re worse off than I thought.
Trent snorted, mild amusement tinging his scent. “I saw a man who wasn’t afraid to jump into the thick of things, prioritized what needed his attention, and knew when to use the rod. My mess of a pride would have turned on each other in two seconds flat.”
Jesse narrowed his eyes. That sounded suspiciously like a compliment from the notoriously prickly lion. “Does Ethan know you’re recruiting?”
“No. Figured I’d feel you out before talking to that stubborn old bear.”
Jesse’s lips twitched at the description of his alpha. Ethan would probably call Trent something similar. They were too alike for more than professional courtesy and begrudging respect.
Trent continued, “I got holes in my ranks as big as this mess today. Seems to me you’re the only bachelor in a sea of mated couples. You won’t have that problem with my pride.”
“No girls allowed, and all that?”
“We’re too fucked in the head for mates.” Trent flashed a mirthless smile. “You’ll fit right in.”
He was scared of that.
Jesse shifted on his feet. “How soon do you need an answer?”
“End of the week. I’ll start looking elsewhere if you pass, but I’m not waiting around like some lovesick puppy. Choice is yours.” Trent touched fingers to the brim of his hat and made his way back to his side of the fence, shouting at the others to stop fucking around and to get back to work.
The Crowley pride was a mess.
But… leave Black Claw?
He and Ethan had grown up together. Suffered through their fathers together. Clanned up, took care of the ranch, shuffled Ethan’s younger sister, Colette, off to college. Ethan brought home the stray puppies and Jesse helped make the crazed men a bit more acceptable for society. Sure, the clan was rough and fought like wild dogs. But they were in it together.
Then the mates came along and Jesse felt like he stood at a crossroads where the past connection was the only thing holding him in place. He struggled wanting a thing that hadn’t happened to him yet.
Maybe it was time to face the damn music. He didn’t have a match waiting for him and he didn’t fit with the others anymore.
Chapter 3
“Today is going to be a good day,” Nora told herself in the bathroom mirror. The woman in the reflection pursed her lips. The dreaded wrinkles of doubt lined her forehead.
Nora shook her head and pointed finger guns at herself. “Day thirty. Ten whole days times three. That has to count for something.”
Her reflection turned her fingers guns into unenthusiastic thumbs ups and a halfhearted shrug.
Okay, so there was room for improvement. But that could be said for everyone in every situation. No one had their shit together. She was just a tad closer to the absolute mess side of the scale than most folks.
“I’d like to see them pick up the pieces after... after...” Nora waved a hand through the air. “Well, you know!”
Her reflection smiled sadly and dropped her gaze to her scar
s.
Sad. She was sick of being sad. She was sick of jumping at every little thing, expecting Viho behind the noise or breath of air or whatever spooked her at the moment.
Her mate mark rested on her shoulder. A shinier, more savage set of bite marks wrapped around her side. One changed her. The other claimed her.
Fuck Viho. He’d ruined everything. She might have escaped his immediate reach, but the marks on her body and the scars in her head still branded him on her. Still wrecked her.
She just wanted to be normal.
Normal seemed like a pretty freaking huge ask after a month of captivity. For every day she’d spent locked up, she’d had one of freedom. She wished it was an easy, one-to-one ratio of fixing herself. Instead, every step forward paired with what felt like three steps back.
Nora frowned at the haunted eyes of her reflection. She straightened her shoulders and nodded to herself. “Today will be a good day,” she insisted.
She had a list of errands to run on her day off. And if she could make it through the day without melting down, making a fool of herself, or shifting in the middle of town, she swore to buy herself a beer.
But just one. And probably from the grocery store along with the rest of her groceries. Loud, big crowds reminded her too much of the clubhouse and sent her wolf spiraling, which defeated the whole reward system.
First on the list: laundry. She had sheets to clean because her wolf decided to take a stroll through some mud and leave paw prints all over the bed sometime in the night. Thanks, beastie.
In her head, the beast seemed to loll out her tongue in an unapologetic display.
Nora dressed for the day, then slung her bag of dirty items over her shoulder and threw open her door. One deep breath dragged down the fresh mountain air that she equated with hope and new beginnings. “I am good. I am polite. I’m going to—ahh!”
Nora tripped over the threshold of her door. For one and a half steps, she thought she might self-correct. The last half, her foot landed on a loose rock, her arms wind milled, and she went down in a heap.
Score for shifter agility.
She dusted off her jeans, straightened her shirt, and picked up her laundry bag. Her sketchbook had slipped out, but she shoved it back inside before her nosy neighbor caught sight of the pencil drawing she’d done the night before while peeking through her windows. In it, he watched his grandkids paddle their tricycles around the parking lot of their six-efficiency complex.
She was already the new person in a strange town. She didn’t need to be known as a creep, too.
Her hope for a good day swelled back once she hit the main drag. She’d ended up in Bearden, Montana after her blind flight from Viho. The famous shifter enclave seemed exactly the sort of place she needed to get her feet—and paws—back under her. And while she had trouble controlling her wolf, at least it was a problem in a pretty place.
Brick buildings lined the street, with trees and other greenery dotting the sidewalks out front. Locals and tourists alike occupied the tables in front of Tommy’s Diner and Mug Shot Coffee Shop. A little further down, the huge doors of the firehouse were rolled open. A couple of the firefighters lingered out front until another one called them back inside for a house meeting.
Nora crossed the street and cut through the big town square. She’d heard enough chatter from other people in the town to know it was regularly used for events and activities. That moment, however, only a few groups wandered the green. Nora dropped her eyes at the couples holding hands and avoided the little families altogether.
On the other side of the square and a couple blocks down, she passed Hogshead Joint, where the owner and her boss settled the sign listing the day’s specials on the sidewalk out front.
“Afternoon, Kenny,” she greeted.
“It’s morning,” he grunted. Under his breath, he muttered, “No wonder you’re always late.”
Cheeks blazing, Nora waved and continued on her way to the laundromat.
She could do better. She would do better. That was the bright side of being brought to her lowest. She could only improve.
As soon as she started the load of sheets, she gathered up her things and walked across the street to the farm store. The week before, someone they’d selling baby chicks, which were infinitely more entertaining to watch than the spin cycle.
Nora followed the sound of cheeps to one side of the store. The little pens were in the exact location as before and ringed in on three sides by some fencing to keep customers from tripping over anything. A hand-painted sign listing the price per chick leaned against the front.
She propped her sketchbook on one of the fences and set to work drawing fluffy feather butts and scrawny legs.
Not long after, another woman leaned against the fence opposite her. Nora studied her from under her lashes as she cast a smile down at the chicks.
A man emerged from one of the aisles and the woman turned to him as he approached. “Aren’t they so cute?” she asked, eyes going round.
Nora quickly sketched out her form, adding lines hinting at the bouncing waves of her hair. A protective hand rested on her pregnant belly.
The man glanced from the little pen and back to the woman. He fixed her with stern eyes and an indulgent smile. Nora held her breath as she sketched, afraid to disturb the scene before she got down the details.
Love. That was the look they gave each other. Pure, unadulterated, addicting love.
“Not happening,” he said. The woman sputtered, but he shook his head and placed his hand over hers. “No baby anything until this one is born.”
“But what if he never comes?” she groaned. Something light danced in her scent. “What if I am eternally pregnant?”
He huffed a laugh and looped his arm around her waist as he led her away. “I guess we’ll just have to keep rearranging the nursery every week, then. Instead of date nights, it’ll be Tetris with the baby furniture nights.”
“Poor littles. I know how it feels to be left behind.” Nora stroked a finger down one fluffy head after another. “You’ll find good homes. I’d take you all if I had room.”
She’d always been alone. Too many in the world saw it as something to prey upon. She wanted to find her pack and survive. That was what she hoped to find in Bearden. She wanted a place to call her own where she didn’t need to look over her shoulder.
“Do you always talk to the chickens?”
Nora whirled around and smacked face first into a wall that hadn’t been there thirty seconds before, her notebook slipping out of her fingers.
She dragged her eyes up and up. Past the wide chest. Across the broad shoulders. Higher and higher until she stared into the face of the most handsome man she’d ever seen. Dark hair hung past his ears, with the slightest hint of wave to the strands. He had kind eyes. Grey, like a distant storm mixing with the deep green of the surrounding forest. They bounced and roved before pinning her in place.
His scent caught her by surprise. All man and musky, like cologne and soap and night in the middle of summer.
Her wolf howled and panted and paced. Claws dug into her with the urge to get near the man. As close as possible. Skin to skin, preferably.
Nora’s cheeks heated with the images that flashed through her head. Hands skimming up her sides, followed by lips.
Sendings, she’d learned to call them. Like especially strong, incredibly vivid daydreams. At that moment, her inner animal was utterly enthralled by the man inches from her.
Nora tried to put her thoughts in order and come up with something cool so he wouldn’t think her a total weirdo. He’d asked her a dang question! She had to answer. A simple yes, even. Maybe even a chuckle at her quirky behavior. Say she’d named them all, then start spouting off old styles like Maximus or Ezekiel.
Her brain stuttered. The words were right there, ready to sink through all the processes to order her tongue to move and vocal cords to vibrate.
“My wolf thinks you smell good!”
Nora stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open for a solid three seconds before her shock wore off and mortification kick started her brain.
Score for being the most socially inept person in the world.
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. She wasn’t about to stick around for the fallout of that particularly fine moment.
Nora darted around the man and zipped straight toward the exit.
“Hey! You forgot—”
The rest was lost in the sudden whine and lurching of her inner beast. Nora clenched her jaw and wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if treating the need to shift like a belly ache would solve anything. She just needed some air, was all.
That was a damn lie, and she knew it.
The moment she passed through the door, her wolf lunged for control. Nora scrabbled desperately to stay in charge, but the creature was too powerful. Too insistent. Too out of control. She needed to run out the panic that coursed through her body.
Not Viho. That man wasn’t Viho. He was just being nice and smelled amazing and... and...
And nothing. She was a freaking mess. She didn’t need to drag anyone else down with her. Not when she couldn’t control her words, thoughts, actions, or her wolf.
Her shape cracked and popped, shredding her clothes. Four paws touched the ground and she shot off, but there was no outrunning the embarrassment of her entire life.
Chapter 4
“You’re late,” Kenny growled.
Nora jumped, hand slamming over her heart as she whirled to face her accuser.
Kenny leaned next to the employee entrance of Hogshead Joint. He frowned under his grizzled, grey beard. The rest of his hair hung in grey waves around his head and made him look ferocious.
“Sorry. So, so sorry,” she apologized. Her wolf whined and shrank back from the man.
“Don’t need sorry,” he growled again. “Need servers who show up on time.”