by Diana Nixon
“Okay. Bye, mom. Love you!”
“Love you too, James. Have a great day!”
I hung up the phone, feeling like the scum of the earth, again.
“Man, will this ever change?” I asked myself aloud. I couldn’t believe at thirty-one I still felt like a five-year-old when it came to conversations with my parents, my mother in particular. I loved her, it’s just that the absence of my personal life obviously made her feel like she had failed me as a parent.
I made myself a cup of coffee and went back to my laptop. There were things that I needed to do before giving in to the temptation called Stella Holt.
Chapter 12
Stella
“You slept with James Collins?”
“Hush, Terry! I don’t want to tell everyone about it.” I looked around, making sure he and I were the only people in the hall. “How did you know?”
“I asked you about James and you blushed.”
“So what? That automatically means I slept with him?”
“Ugh, if only a liar’s pants really did catch on fire. I can’t believe it . . . I lost the bet!”
“What bet?” I looked at him, curiously.
“I was sure you would never let James seduce you, and May said there was no way you would be able to keep your panties on with him staying at your place.”
“What? You and May were discussing my sex life, behind my back?”
“Or to be exact – the absence of it.” Terry smiled innocently and headed for Dillon’s office.
I ran after him, as pissed as ever. “Hey, you, ungrateful creature! How could you? I made sure you got a job here, remember?”
“Yes, I do. But freedom of speech has not been called off. Now I owe May money, and I am going to pay up.”
“And how much exactly did you two decide my sexual life was worth?”
“Five bucks.”
“You are kidding, right?”
“Nope. I owe May five bucks for losing the bet.”
“I hate you, Terry. Like really hate you.” We came to May’s desk, and I pointed at her saying, “And you too.”
“What did I do this time?” She asked, not even looking at us. One of May’s many ‘talents’ was her amazing ability to forget or lose things that everyone else thought were very important and couldn’t be lost or forgotten, accidentally or not.
“I know about the bet,” I said, drilling her with my eyes.
She laughed, still looking down at some papers. “That was fun.”
“Not at all! You two are the worst friends ever!”
“And the only friends you actually have,” Terry added, smiling as brightly as ever.
“Well, thanks for the reminder.” I wasn't that upset about my friends gossiping about me, but I was still hoping I would be able to keep my ‘relationship’ with James a secret. I didn’t want Dillon to find out about us sneaking into each other’s rooms and occasionally desecrating his kitchen and other parts of his house.
“So how was it?” May asked, finally raising her eyes to look at us.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean sex with James? Was it mind-blowing like it is in his books?”
I groaned, turning on my heel and walking away from them. The sound of their giggles followed me all the way to my office.
I closed the door behind me and shook my head. Who would have thought that my peaceful life in Braiwood would turn into such a mess!
I sat at my desk and felt my cheeks burning at the memory of what happened on this very table less than twenty-four hours ago. Despite my anger, I couldn’t help but admit that May was right – there was no way I could have stayed in the same house with James Collins, let alone in one room, and keep my panties on. The man was just too damn good at ripping them off, and he could do that with his eyes alone.
I sighed. It was so easy to get used to seeing James in the morning, making coffee or just working at his computer, with that thoughtful look on his face that I never knew how to read. It was even easier to get used to being with him, skin to skin, with nothing but our breath separating us . . .
How much more time did I have with him? When was he going to leave? He said he wanted to spend the next couple of days with me, but I didn’t know if ‘a couple of days’ was supposed to end after two days or maybe he would stay even longer . . . I hoped he would. I couldn’t imagine letting James go already. Deep down inside, I was sure I would never be able to let him go, no matter how much I wanted to run back home right now and beg him to stay forever, or to take me to New York with him, or . . .
Ugh, who was I trying to fool? James had made himself clear, he didn’t need more than what we had now. Or maybe our relationship was enough to make him change his mind . . .
My cellphone rang. I looked at the screen, but the number was blocked.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Beautiful. Are you still working?” The sound of James’ rich voice made me smile.
I leaned against the back of my chair, saying, “I wish . . . I seem to be unable to concentrate on work, my desk is just the wrong place to do my work today, or any other day for that matter.”
He laughed, quietly, but the vibrations of that laugh went right through me, hitting my heart so hard, I felt like suffocating from the amount of overwhelming excitement it made me feel.
“Do you remember our deal?”
“I do . . .” I said, recalling my previous thoughts about the number of days we had left.
“Did you talk to Dillon? Will he give you a few days off?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him yet.”
“I thought maybe we could go somewhere we could be alone… Staying at Dillon’s is not safe anymore, if you know what I mean.”
So he didn’t want my uncle to know about us. Well, why would that upset me? After all, I had the same opinion about the matter. Only hearing him say it was more final and it brought my mood down.
“We could go to my grandma’s lake house. It’s not far from town.”
“What will you tell her? I mean she would surely want to know why you want to go there in the middle of the week.”
“Actually, I have a key to the place. She gave it to me when I came to Braiwood a couple of months ago, just in case I decided I hated sharing a place with Dillon. She still believes that women never cross the threshold of his house because he’s difficult to be around for too long.”
“Well, then go tell your boss that he won’t be seeing you at work for a while.”
“Easier said than done,” I muttered, already knowing that Dillon would never give me even one day off, let alone a couple, without giving me tons of extra work first.
“Do you think he might get suspicious if he were to not see me in his house anymore?”
Anymore . . .
So James was going to leave soon after all. He wanted to spend a few days with me and then leave, just like he said. I sighed. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel like going to the lake house. I just wanted to turn back time and never meet James Collins, so I wouldn’t feel so miserable now.
“You can tell him that you have an emergency in New York and that you have to go back sooner than you planned,” I said, trying to sound calm, when in reality, every inch of me hurt at the thought of saying good-bye to James.
“Great idea!” He said, excited. “I’ll call him right away.”
“Wait!” I paused. “Are you sure you still want it?”
“You mean to spend more time with you?”
“Yes.”
“Of course I do, Stella. More than anything I have ever wanted…”
Oh, why did he have to sound so sincere? It only made me feel worse.
“Okay, I’ll go talk to him,” I said. “Call you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
I was just about to hang up the phone, when James said, “Stella, wait! There’s one more thing that I wanted to tell you . . .”
“What is it?”
“I miss you
. . .”
My heart dropped to my feet and shattered into tiny pieces. “Same here,” I said quietly, hoping James wouldn’t pack his belongings and run away, before seeing me first. I knew he hated obligations. He hated complicated. And somehow, this thing that was going between us now was getting more and more complicated, with every passing hour.
I could hear him smiling into the handset. “Good to know,” he said before he hung up the phone.
I didn’t get a chance to think about what his words meant.
“Dillon wants to see you,” May said through the speakerphone. “Hurry Stella, he’s furious.”
“What happened?”
“Have no idea.”
The first thing I thought was: Did he somehow found out about James and me? I mentally wished myself good luck and left the office.
“Do you know what your grandmother has done?”
Dillon looked like a raging bull, pacing the room with his hands on his hips, as if searching for the red flag to tear to pieces.
“What did she do this time?” I took a seat in one of the chairs, already knowing that Dillon would need some time to wind down, and I would have to spend it nodding, pretending I was actually listening to his complaints.
“She sent the damn invitations to everyone in this town!”
Oh, crap . . . I completely forgot about Dillon’s birthday party. And it just happened to be tonight. Grandma couldn’t have possibly chosen a worse time.
“Don’t you know her? You should have expected her to do just that. She likes big parties.”
“I truly hoped she would give up on them, after the last heart attack she had just a few months ago.”
I laughed under my breath. “She said a heart attack would be the last thing to kill her. So bear with her. She just wants to have some fun!”
“Why does it have to be for my birthday? Which, by the way, is two weeks before my actual birthday!
I laughed even harder. We all knew that rules didn’t exist for Molly Nevil. She was just one of those people who believed that following them would make life too damn boring.
“Why don’t you take it easy? Seriously, Dillon, it’s just one night. Then she will leave you alone.”
“That’s the thing . . . It will start with this and then no, she will not leave me alone.”
“Anyway, we can’t help it, so just take a deep breath, put on your best shirt and a smile on your face, and pretend you enjoy the party. This is all she wants, Dillon.”
“But why me again? Why doesn’t she ever tell your mother what to do with her life? Or how to celebrate her birthdays. Why does it always have to be me?”
I rose to my feet and walked over to Dillon, smiling. “She’s worried about you, don’t you see that? You have never been married, and she naturally wants to see you happy.”
“Why does she think I’m not happy?”
“Well, maybe because you live alone and don’t have anyone to take care of you.”
“I have you now.”
“You know what I mean.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for women. Besides, I don’t want to waste my time on them. Who will take care of my newspaper if I get married? Women need attention and time, and I can’t give them any of the above!”
“Or is it that you don’t want to?”
“I like my life, Stella. I’m comfortable with the way it is now. I don’t want to change anything.”
“Comfortable is the key word here. Why don’t you just admit that you are afraid of a woman ruining your ‘perfect’ life?”
Dillon stared at me as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. He knew damn well what I meant.
“Since when have you started hating men who don’t want commitments to complicate their lives?”
I took a few steps back and turned toward the window, hoping Dillon wouldn’t notice how much his question affected me.
“Is there something I don’t know, Stella?”
“No.”
“Does it have anything to do with James Collins?” Obviously, Dillon was not going to give up.
“No. I think I’m just a little tired. Can I have a few days off please?” I turned around and looked at him. I tried my best to keep my face emotionless.
“Sure, if you need a break . . .” He looked at me, squinting, and I felt like a child, hiding an empty pack of cookies that I was not supposed to eat before dinner behind my back.
“I’m sure a break will make me feel better.” I forced a smile. “Thanks.”
“Stella, are you sure there’s nothing else you would like to talk to me about?”
“Everything’s fine, really.”
“Are you tired of living in Braiwood?”
Obviously, Dillon thought that my sudden request was a bad sign. I knew he was afraid of losing me. But there was no need to worry about that, I was not going to leave him, at least not until I felt like going back to my big city life.
“Maybe just a little,” I lied. It was much safer to lie than to tell the truth. Dillon was right – I hated men who hated commitments. Well, not that I ever cared about it, but the events of the last few days made me look at many things from a different point of view.
“I hope James is not going to miss my freaking birthday party. . .” Dillon grimaced at the thought of the upcoming night.
“I’m sure he would be happy to attend it.” Especially since neither of us had a choice but to attend it. It meant wasting the entire night, talking about some stupid things with the guests and pretending we actually enjoyed it, but I couldn’t let Dillon down and leave him alone with grandma. He wouldn’t survive that.
“I’ll see you two later then,” he said, going back to his desk. “When are you going to come back to work, Stella?”
I wish I knew the answer to that question . . .
“Next week. Is it okay if I come back on Monday?”
“Yeah, sure. Enjoy your break. By the way, how are you going to spend it?”
“I thought I could go to grandma’s lake house. It’s so quiet and beautiful there at this time of the year.”
“Good. Call me if you need anything.”
“I sure will.” I smiled and left.
***
“Do we have to go?” James was not happy to hear about the upcoming party.
“Unfortunately, yes.” I opened my closet, trying to find a proper dress to wear. “Did you call Dillon to tell him about your departure?”
“Yes. He said it was a pleasure to meet me and that he hopes to see me in Braiwood again soon.”
“Did he ask you anything about me?”
“No, why would he? Does he suspect something . . . about us?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I liked the pink one better,” James said, looking at the green dress in my hands. He came closer and wrapped both arms around me. “How about we run away right after the party?”
“That is exactly what I was going to suggest doing.” I smiled at him through the mirror.
“I can’t wait to be alone with you again.” He bent down and kissed my shoulder softly.
“We are alone now.”
“You know what I mean.” His lips moved up my neckline, making goosebumps cover my skin.
I swallowed. “This is a dangerous game you are playing, Mr. Collins. If you want us to live through the party, you’d better stop kissing me like that.”
“How much time do we have before Dillon gets here?”
“It’s a bad idea. . .”
“How do you know what I have in mind?”
“I know everything that is going on in your twisted mind, James Collins.”
Our eyes met in the mirror. “No, really?” James asked, with a sexy as hell smile playing on his lips. “Wanna tell me more about it?”
“Did you manage to write anything today?” I asked in response.
“Yes.”
“Can I read it?”
He smirked. “What for?”
He watched me silently for a minute. Then he nodded and said, “Fine, wait here.” He left the room and returned a few minutes later, with his laptop in his hands. He put it on my vanity, opened one of the files and said, “I want you to read it aloud.” Then he stood behind me, took the dress that I was holding from my hands and tossed it onto my bed. “Read, Stella,” he said in a low voice; his palms traveled down my sides.
I looked at him one last time and then lowered my eyes to the document flashing on the laptop’s screen.
“Chapter fifteen,” I read aloud. “Her breasts brushed against my torso. Leaving small kisses on my skin, she moved down, where my hardened cock had been waiting for her. Slowly, she wrapped her fingers around it and stroked. The fire inside me ignited with a new force. She looked up at me and asked, ‘Fast or slow?’ ‘Slow,’ I said, watching her red lips now wrapping around my arousal. She sucked me in and I growled in response, throwing my head back against the pillows. . .”
I paused, swallowing. I could feel James eyes watching me in the mirror. He wasn’t kissing me anymore, he was just watching me, with his hands sliding up and down my sides.
“Keep reading,” he said in a whisper. I read the words more than I heard them.
I swallowed again and continued reading, “I felt her hot tongue sliding up and down me. She scratched my chest with her nails, leaving white prints on my skin, sucking me in again. ‘Fuck,’ you are amazing,’ I murmured, enjoying the rush of pure bliss running through me. She didn’t even know how close I was to exploding right into her sweet mouth. ‘Faster,’ I said, now looking down at her. The view, I must say, was to die for.” I stopped again, suddenly embarrassed to keep reading.
“Why did you want me to read this particular part?” I asked James.
“Because this is what you have inspired me to write. I was thinking about you when I was writing this scene . . .”
Chapter 13
James
I was thinking about Stella too much. I tried so hard to persuade myself that she was not really getting under my skin and inside my head, but whenever I started writing my book, images of her body underneath mine filled my mind. It took no more than two seconds to make my blood run faster thinking about her, envisioning her hair spread all over my pillow and her responsive body aching for me. It was just too much . . . And there was no way for me to get out of our ‘relationship’ and be the same person I used to be before I met Stella. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t remember my life before she came along and flipped my world inside out. I bet she knew it too, and now she was using it against me.