by J. G. Maltos
Physician Xenio has stopped cleaning an open wound at the heel of my foot and watches me intently, waiting.
As an answer, I lift my arm and lay it flat on my white covers. Beneath the blue and yellow discolorations are dotted scabs inside my arm. The fresh ones are covered with the cream the physician had at hand, but the others glared back at me.
“They would inject me with a serum to suppress my abilities.” My fingers trace over the scars, forcing the memories of me fighting tooth and nail to escape back into the dark corners of my mind.
“I didn’t know there was such a serum in existence,” Koura says in disbelief. “How could they have made it?”
I force a careless shrug. “They never told me anything. All they did was ask me questions. They would inject me after the fighting cage and during interrogation.” A pang of emotion shoots through my chest. “I did try to send a message out once, but they took me to an underwater cave and threw me in. One of the guards must have pulled me out just before I lost consciousness. They always did have a flair for lessons.” Timidly, I peer up to see Koura’s wide eyes staring down at me.
“They never quite let me die. They would inject me time and time again. They would put me into a room and ask me things that never made sense. When I couldn’t give them the answers they wanted, Titus would—” I tense, quickly pulling away from the physician’s working hands and scrambling to get to my feet. “Titus! We have to help him. He shouldn’t be back there alone! How could I have forgotten—”
Koura grabs my hand, pulling me down with a tender push. Physician Xenio grabs my leg, holding me still.
“Titus is okay,” he reassures me. “We’ve brought him back to a sanctuary we have here in the kingdom.”
Something still sits heavy in my mind. “He has a daughter.” I grip Koura’s hand tightly, silently begging. “They’ve threatened her, that’s why he had to—”
Koura meets my gaze with his intense one. “They are both safe, Althea. We know they were using his daughter against him. The team was able to extract both of them safely. Now, please let the physician finish cleaning you up.”
“Thank you,” I choke out. I can only imagine what pain Titus has had to endure, knowing he’d have to cause harm to another in order to protect someone from it. Those words felt like they cheated the heavy gratitude I felt. “Thank you for saving them, too.”
“I think that's enough questions for today.” His lips pull up into a half-smile as he pats my head with a large hand. A part of me feels relieved. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on talking about the cells. “Actually,” Koura runs a distressed hand through his curly hair, “the Elite have begun gathering for your return.”
“All of them?” There is no hiding the surprise in my voice.
“They wish to welcome you back.” The hesitation in his voice that hints he doesn’t quite believe his own words. “They also wish to see what information you gathered while you were… away.”
Panic rises in my chest like ice once again. “I’m not sure I’m ready for something like that quite yet,” I admit.
“Of course!” Koura offers another smile. “They will understand. I’ll let Elite Helena know promptly. She had been wanting to speak with you as well.”
“Elite Helena?” She is the Frost Kingdom’s Elite and a close friend of my mother. That simple connection has me aching to see her. “Perhaps I can speak with her tomorrow? Privately, I mean. When I’m in better condition?”
At this, Koura’s eyes light up. “I think she would love that, Princess. As for the rest of the Elite, I’ll let them know you need to rest some more.”
“That would be for the best.” Physician Xenio sighs, straightening her back at the foot of my bed. “Bruising on her chest, coupled with her labored breathing suggests possible fractured ribs. She also shows signs of malnutrition.” She turns her somber face toward me. “I’ll have the kitchen staff prepare something for you within the hour. I’ll also prescribe teas that would help with any discomfort as your body heals. It may be a few weeks before it begins to feel normal again. The more rest you get, the better your body will be equipped to heal itself.”
I wrap the covers around myself. “I appreciate your help, Physician Xenio.”
She bows before placing her tools back into her leather case. “Please do not hesitate to summon me should you have any questions or concerns. My priority from this day on is to ensure you are at peak health.” She takes a white bottle from her leather case. Its contents rattle as she places it lightly on my drawer. “Right now, the best medication would be to sleep. Like I said, your body needs rest to gather energy. Should you find yourself restless, Princess, one of these capsules will help you get the sleep you need.”
“Thank you again.” This time it is Koura who bows and guides her out. She spares me one last glance before disappearing behind the door.
Koura hovers by the door, hesitant. “I have other matters to attend to as well, Princess, but we have guards at the end of every hall in case you need anything. Plus, I have assigned Nathaniel and Bash as your guards.”
I remember the way they fought back at the ship. They are more than adequate soldiers, but it feels as though I was saved from one prison only to be put in another.
My thoughts must have been written clear across my face. Koura's eyes soften, silently begging. “Please. It’ll give me peace of mind knowing my two best and closest soldiers are at your side.”
There was something in his voice that made it hard to argue. My shoulders slump back against the bed in defeat. “Fine.”
“I’ll try to stay close by as well.” He pulls my attention away. “I’ll come running to you from wherever I am, Princess.”
I force out a tightlipped smile. The ice returns to the center of my chest, but I try my best to push it down. It’s not like I can have Koura by my side at all hours of the day, regardless of how much I wish for it. “I’ll be fine.”
Koura gives me one final, unconvinced nod and leaves me to my own devices. I eye the bottle of sleeping pills curiously. Although I appreciate the sentiment, it isn’t a lack of sleep I am worried about.
For the rest of the day, I try busing myself, fighting the sleep that begged me to give in. I rearranged the bookshelf a hundred times over but in the end, when night fell, I found myself sinking into my bed.
Everything flashed across my mind like a twisted reminder that I could never truly escape my fears. I saw fire. I saw buildings crumbling around me in a puff of ash and smoke. I saw blood dripping from my hands and I heard one single blood-curdling scream. It echoed in my head like nails on a chalkboard and it just would not stop.
A sound disrupts the images and I am jolted awake to find that it had been me screaming.
A panicked Koura stands at my door dressed in nothing but a pair of sweats, a long transparent sword wielded at his side. Nathaniel and Bash stand behind him in full armor, crystal daggers held out in front of them ready to be thrown.
“I’m so sorry.” The words feel like gravel against my sore throat. “I didn’t mean to startle anyone.”
“Sounds like you had more of a scare than we did.” It was Nathaniel that spoke and although he tried to keep his tone light, his face pulled together in concern.
“Yes, well I’m fine now.” I try composing myself, wiping off the sweat that clings to my face, and straightening out the sheets that bunch up around my feet. “As you were,” I say awkwardly.
But none of the men make a move. Instead, Nathaniel and Bash stare at Koura waiting for a command. After a moment, he relaxes but I can tell by the quizzical arch of his eyebrow that he is anything but convinced.
“You two can go back to your posts.” His sword disappears around his wrists. “I’ll hang back for a minute.”
Bash gives a small nod and spares me a questioning glance before lowering his daggers and turning down the hall.
“We’ll be close by if you need us, Princess.” Nathaniel offers me a warm smile
and pushes his large frame through the door.
Koura waits until the sound of their footsteps is nothing but a faint echo before closing my chamber door.
“Is it the dreams again?”
“Again?”
He nods, nearing the foot of my bed. “The night we saved you, you were asleep but your body kept trembling and your face—” His hands balled together at his sides. “It was like you were in so much pain. And after the fight on the ship, when you were unconscious. It was the same thing all over again. You kept mumbling things but we couldn’t make much sense of it. I just knew you were afraid. And after our conversation with Physician Xenio, I understand why.”
“I’m fine.” That’s all I know what to say. “They’re just dreams.”
“They’re not just dreams.” His hand inches towards mine. “They’re parasites and they're draining you.”
“I’ve managed with them so far. Now that I’m away from everything, I’m sure they’ll go away. It’ll just take time.”
Koura’s lips pressed into a thin line, still unconvinced. “You truly are safe now, Al.” His hand finally reached my own. “You’re best friend is one of the top soldiers on the Frost Kingdom’s fleet. I’m not letting anything happen to you from now on.”
“Thank you, Koura.” I grip his hand tightly, forcing as much of a convincing smile I can muster. His words were kind and warm, but my mind is too frozen in fear to feel any type of reassurance.
He gives my hand one final squeeze before getting up to leave. “I mean it,” he says just as he takes a step out the door. “I am one of the best.”
“Enemies beware.”
With one last wink, he disappears behind the chamber door.
Chapter 4
Elite Helena visits me the next day as I suggested. Although I wish I could have had another day to rest, the ache in my heart overshadows the ache in my bones. She stands at my doorway, a tray of food in hand.
“Good morning, Princess Althea.” Her hand grips the edge of the tray. She cracks her lips into an unnaturally wide smile. I wonder for a moment if she feels as anxious in our meeting as I do.
“Elite Helena.” I bow, forcing the awkward note out of my voice. The only person I find natural speaking with is Koura it seems. After a moment’s silence, I hastily shuffle to the side. “Please, come in.”
“Thank you, Princess.” There are only a few lines that echo in her smile, but besides that, she looks exactly as I remember. “I’ve brought you porridge to aid in your recovery.” She offers the tray in her hand and places it on top of the drawer. “Or I should say the kitchen maids prepared it. I’ve never had a good hand for cooking.” A soft laugh erupts from her chest, bouncing off the walls like a sweet chime. Though her laugh brings me some sort of comfort, I cannot bring myself to break my silence.
“You look just like your father.” This time a sigh escapes her and the mention of my father comes so sudden, I have no time to prepare for the stab of pain that twists in my soul.
I suck my lip between my teeth to stop the tremble. “Many have credited my likeness to my mother, but it makes me glad to hear I’ve taken after my father as well.”
She takes a hesitant step toward me but stops. Her eyes roam my body and I am glad I remembered to wear long sleeves on this warm day.
“Dear God, child. Please, sit and eat.”
Slowly, I make my way to the edge of my bed and take a seat. Elite Helena follows suit, cautiously settling at the opposite side of my bed.
The happy mood changes to a heavier topic. “What had happened to you, child?” She continues eyeing the bandages that peek past my sleeves. My scars are a constant reminder of what I experienced, what I survived. They are like a map of my life.
Though I do not have the names of the lives I have selfishly taken to live, I remember the face of the lives I took. It is the least I can do to remember the lives that were lost by my hands. Everything was taken from me and in its place is only guilt.
I tug them down “It’s strange to think I am away from all that now,” I confess.
“Yes, I can imagine.” She smiles. “But what do you remember?”
“Everything,” I whisper, placing a hand on the bandage. “I remember waking up that first night. I remember the guards mocking me. I remember the idiotic questions they would ask every day.”
Helena leans in closer. “Questions? What questions?”
Her focused gaze has me shuffling in my seat, but she is an Elite after all, and Koura did say they want answers. “They had asked about my parents, the shadow crystal, and about the war general.”
“Your parents?” She taps her chin with a delicate finger. “That is surprising.”
I nod, pulling down my sleeve once more. “Their questions never made sense to me. I remember running that night, passing my mother’s chambers, and seeing my father.” I struggle over my words. “As well as Koura’s mother, Lady Pamela. They were all …gone.”
Helena's face turns to one of sadness at the mention of her lady. “Lady Pamela’s passing had been a hard one as well.” She clears her throat. “She hadn’t mentioned she was leaving to the Earth Kingdom. I was surprised to hear the news.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you of her plans.” I fish, remembering what Koura had mentioned earlier the day before. “The Earth Kingdom is quite a travel.”
Regret flashes across her face. “We had an argument the night before. I’m sure she was in no mood to speak to me. It pains me to know that was my last interaction with her.” She sits in silence for a moment and I regret bringing up those memories for her.
“Those were the questions that were repeated for years.” I attempt to change the conversation. My only options are one painful memory over another.
“What did you answer?”
“That I don’t know anything,” I say simply.
A foreign emotion passes across her eyes in an instant. “You are very strong, child, being able to push through despite what they put you through. Who would've known what they would use that information for?”
I shake my head at her assumption. “I didn’t lie. I honestly don’t know anything.”
“No, no, of course not,” She corrects. “Did you recognize anyone who was in there with you?”
I shake my head again. “I’ve never seen them in the Earth Kingdom before. They all had different abilities as if they were rogues from different kingdoms.”
“What abilities?”
“Fire.” The image of One Ear’s twisted smile comes to mind. He must be angry that his most prized prisoner managed to escape. I’m glad I’m not there to see him like that. “Another was a lightning bearer, but he was there against his will.”
She nods as if she knows exactly who I meant. “Titus.”
“Yes, Titus.” Of course, as an Elite she must have voted to grant him sanctuary. “Thank you again for helping him and his daughter.”
“No worries, dear child.” She lifts a careless hand. “What other abilities do you remember?”
I remain silent for a moment, unsure whether I should say much else, but there is no reason to hide anything from her here. “Frost.”
“Frost?” She all but yells.
“I don’t remember his name but he was not like the other guards. He looked more… out of place.”
Helena rises from where she sits and runs a worried hand across her long hair. “No, It is not possible. Frost? Are you sure?”
“Positive. He froze my arms tied,” I clarify. I look up at Elite Helena, confused by her outburst. She looms over the table with authority and worry. A sense of deja vu flashes before my eyes. “I don’t want to continue speaking of it.”
My voice jolts Helena from her thoughts. “Of course, of course.” She visibly relaxes and takes her seat across from me once more.
We talk until noon, waiting for lunch to arrive. I have not wanted to leave my room just yet. “All the Elite have arrived.” She mentions it in conversation.
<
br /> I nod, fiddling with my sleeves. “Koura mentioned something about that.” I focus on the warp on the side of my arm that covers my wounds. A nervous habit I had started since seeing Helena.
“It would be useful if we could have you speak with them. But, we all understand if you need more time.” She comforts me.
“I just don’t know what to say. Or how to speak in front of everyone.” I look at her. “I am not the Princess everyone is expecting me to be.”
“My sweet darling.” She kneels in front of me. “You have gone through something traumatic.” Her lily eyes hold my gaze,“And you are here. Alive. You are the strongest person I know.” She runs a soft hand against my cheek. “Being a Princess is not just about being able to speak in front of people. It’s about using all of your life experience, honing it, and giving the best version of yourself to the world.”
“What version of myself?” I don’t mean for the words to sound as harsh as they do, but they are out of my mouth before I could stop them. “The version of a woman who has been beaten? Tortured? Broken? That is no Princess. That is no Queen! I can barely keep myself sane! I can’t close my eyes without seeing that stupid cell.”
Helena rises from the floor. I feel guilty for being so rude, but I cannot process the thought of pretending to be a princess when I’m still battling the girl who’s a prisoner. “Be the ruler who cares for their people because they know what suffering is. Be the ruler who makes hard decisions because they know their decisions could change someone's life.” She steps toward me, her small feet sounding on the marble floor. “Be the ruler you truly are. Not the ruler they want you to be.”
I haven't given much thought about being a ruler, much less the ruler people would want me to be. But now, speaking with Helena, I realize another fear that hid beneath the many that plague my mind. Could someone like me be a ruler at all?
“Okay.” The word falls heavy on my tongue.
Helena’s smile broadens. “Perfect. I will let everyone know and have Koura send for you.” She then leaves my room without another word. I slouch against my seat, exhausted. Am I ready to face the other kingdoms? Or am I way over my head?