by Lynn Stevens
She squeezed my shoulders and rushed out of my bedroom. Mom had made this night even more special than it would have been. We’d chatted while she worked. She’d listened to me as I told her about Rex and how I’d ended up with him as my coach. Even though she still wanted to meet him, she’d relaxed a bit.
I took a deep breath before heading downstairs. It wasn’t like this was my first date. I’d had several, but this felt different. Nerves fluttered in my stomach like moths. My hands were suddenly clammy. My mouth was dry. Before I hit the bottom step, it dawned on me. This was the first real date I was looking forward to.
That made my nerves even worse.
Erik stood at the front door with Mom, both smiling widely. He looked great in a baby blue button down, khakis, and tan boat shoes. Mom said something I couldn’t quite hear, and he laughed, shifting on his feet. He was nervous? Why did this have to be a big deal? Oh, yeah, he was my best friend’s worst enemy.
Erik turned toward me and his mouth dropped for a moment. “Wow, you look great.”
“Thanks,” I said as I stopped beside him. The nerves disappeared when I stared into his eyes. “So do you.” His shoulders relaxed a bit. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” he said then he turned to my mother. “It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Hoffpauir.”
“Have fun,” Mom said as we stepped out the front door. “Be home by eleven.”
A hot breeze greeted us as we walked toward his car. I wanted to hold his hand, but that seemed too forward. Right? I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands. Or anything else for that matter. The nerves returned the minute it was just the two of us. Alone. We’d never been alone together. Not really. We’d been at the club, or school, or at the driving range. There were always people around.
We both got into his car, neither one saying a word.
Erik ran his hands down his pants before pushing the start button. He did it again after the engine quietly roared to life.
I couldn’t stop myself. Laughter bubbled up my throat and exploded from my lips. It took me a few minutes to get myself under control. Erik just stared at me.
“You okay?” he asked slowly. His eyes narrowed, and I knew instantly that I’d pushed him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, still struggling to control the giggle. “It’s just so silly that we’re both nervous. We’ve known each other forever, and it’s not like we haven’t already made out.”
Erik’s eyebrows crawled together.
I reached over and put my hand on his arm. His gaze shot to where I touched him then lifted to meet mine. I smiled shyly before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He turned his head, capturing my lips with his. It was gentle, sweet, and I wanted so many more just like it.
“I’m really looking forward to tonight,” I said as I pulled away.
Erik reached over and took my hand. “Me, too.”
“I wasn’t laughing at you,” I said as he drove from the house. “I just ... I was nervous. I’m not usually nervous.”
“I’m constantly nervous,” he said as he shifted into third. “I just hide it well I guess.”
“You do.” I put my hand on his over the stick shift. “I’ve always thought you were cocky.”
He snorted and checked his mirrors before merging on the highway. “That’s kinda funny considering.”
“Considering what?” There wasn’t much that would surprise me anymore.
“I’ve always thought you were cold,” he said, glancing at me with a sad smile.
I ripped my hand away. Clearly, I was wrong. There was still a lot that could surprise me. I’d never been cold. Kept people at a distance that I didn’t like, yeah. But never cold. He shifted into fifth and reached for my hand.
“I know you’re not, but we didn’t really know each other before,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Andrea?”
I sighed and tried to relax. “That’s fair. I guess.”
“I just... you were always with Vicky, the Ice Queen.” He let go of my hand and switched lanes. “I just lumped you in with her.”
“An Ice Princess?” I said, trying to lighten the mood. Erik had every reason to judge me in the same like I judged him. We were both idiots. “It’s crazy how wrong both of us were.”
“You don’t think I’m cocky?” he asked, giving me the mask of indifference he wore every day at school.
“No, I think you’re kind. You’re smart. You care about other people even if you keep it quiet. You’re sweet, too.” I kept my gaze on his profile.
“Sounds like I’d make a good friend,” he said with a hint of bitterness.
I slapped his arm. “You are a good friend. Isn’t that the real basis for a relationship? To be best friends?”
He shrugged, still not convinced he was more than a friend to me. The car slowed as he took an exit. I had no idea where we were going or even where we were. I didn’t really care either.
“You’re gorgeous,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Saying that to a boy, any boy wasn’t exactly easy. “You make me feel like I’m someone special,” I added in a whisper. “You’re an amazing kisser, and I can’t stop thinking of how much I want you to kiss me again. I want to just go somewhere where we can be alone and kiss you breathless.” I paused and let out some more truth. “You make my heart sing when I’m with you, like it’s found the other half of its song.”
Erik parked the car and climbed out. He hadn’t said a word to my confession. A knife stabbed into my now silent heart. I’d gone too far. It wasn’t like I didn’t mean it. Being around him, it brought me to life. I felt safe, hopeful, excited, all of the things I avoided. He’d helped me rediscover myself.
The passenger door opened, and he reached in, offering me a hand. I took it and climbed from the car. My back was against the car and Erik’s hands were on each side of my face. He stared at me for an intense moment, his gaze darting around my face as if memorizing this moment. Then he kissed me. It wasn’t the same gentle kisses from before. It was searing, like he was kissing my soul. I opened myself up to him, taking and giving. His thumbs circled on my cheeks before drifting slowly down my jawline.
“You make my heart sing, Andrea.” He kissed my nose. “For the first time in my life, I want to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy,” I said, tilting my head to the right.
He kissed me gently then stepped back. “We’re here, by the way.”
I didn’t want to take my eyes off him, but curiosity got the best of me. My breath caught in my throat. We were in the middle of nowhere by a small house. The yard was lit by fairy lights. An extra-large chaise lounge chair for two sat in front of a large movie screen. Tiki torches surrounded the chair. A small projector sat on a table.
“I wanted to take you to a movie, but that seemed trite,” he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. “I wanted tonight to be special. Something we’d always remember.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder. “It already is.”
He kissed my cheek.
“Where are we anyway?” I asked as he stepped in front of me and took my hand, leading me toward the chairs.
“Lakeside,” he said. Lakeside was kind of self-explanatory. It was exactly what it advertised: a lake on the edge of St. Louis where people ran to get away from the city, even though it was still in the metro area. If you owned a plot out here, you were part of the elite. “Mom and Dad come out here once a month to entertain. That’s what the shack is for. It’s just a kitchen, bathroom, one bedroom, and a small living room. There’s a huge firepit closer to the lake and an outside kitchen on the other side of the house.”
“Nice,” I said. “Don’t Eva’s parents have property out here?”
“Yeah, and Logan’s family.” He let go of my hand and walked to the projector. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, but I got the new Chris Hemsworth movie.”
“I thought that wasn’t coming out until next week.” I settled on the soft lounge chair, cros
sing my legs at my ankles.
Erik grinned. “It doesn’t.”
The projector started and the previews filled the screen. Erik disappeared into the shack, as he called it. It looked more like a small log cabin. I watched a preview for some spy movie, but I didn’t really pay too much attention. Erik came back out with a tub of popcorn and two large mugs. He sat the tub on the lounger and settled beside me, but not too close. The tub of popcorn sat between us in all its buttery goodness. After ten minutes of munching and not really watching the movie, I picked up the tub and set it to the side table beside me.
Erik didn’t move right away. Neither did I.
Ten minutes later, he shifted onto his side, his gaze still on the screen. I did the same, facing him, but I stopped pretending to watch the movie. No matter how many bad guys Chris Hemsworth took down, my eyes were on the boy next to me.
He still hadn’t looked my way, but I knew he was aware of me beside him. His body was tense and his breathing rapid. It was going to be up to me to make a move. I scooted closer until there wasn’t much space separating us. He finally glanced down at me. Smiling, I pushed his shoulder back, forcing him onto his back. Then I settled into the crook of his arm. His fingers trailed along the bare skin. I shivered, and he pulled me closer.
We stayed like that for the rest of the movie. When the credits started rolling, I glanced up at him. His gaze was on me, and there was something so passionate. I could feel how much he wanted me beside him. Not just sexually, that wasn’t what this was. There was so much more. No guy had ever looked at me like that before. I rose up on my hand and leaned down over him, kissing his jaw before finding his soft lips.
He didn’t push me for more, and I didn’t offer. Even though part of me wanted to because Erik made me feel like I was precious. But I was worth more than a fleeting moment of sexual tension. Theo had used me just to get laid. While I didn’t think Erik would treat me the same, I wanted to treat myself better. I wanted my next time to be special. To mean something.
To be with someone who truly loved me.
Maybe that would eventually be Erik, maybe not. Either way, I was going to make the decision when I felt it was right and not because some guy through some attention my way.
It was time I owned my life, my decisions. It was time I figured out what I wanted.
It was time to grow up.
Chapter Sixteen
Dad took off to the club and I took Mom meet Rex. It was awkward and horrifying, but if I wanted him to be my coach, then he had to meet my mother.
“This is humiliating,” I said as we walked toward the building. My stomach grumbled when the smell of pizza and popcorn carried on the breeze. I really wanted grease food. “You know that, right?”
“Yep, but as your mother, I have that right.” She linked her arm with mine. We rounded the corner and Rex stood by a tee talking to a golfer. “Is that him?”
I wanted to a giant sinkhole to open and take me away. The tone of Mom’s voice was all too familiar. It was the tell-tale that-guy-is-hot tone. I’d heard her use it before on actors. Before I could confirm or deny, Rex glanced our way and raised his eyebrows. He strode purposefully toward us.
“Andrea, want to get some work in?” he asked, his gaze on my mother. He held out his hand. “Rex Vargas.”
“This is my mom,” I said through loosely gritted teeth before I had to hear Mom flirt.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Rex let go of her hand and turned to me. “Get your clubs. While you’re here, we can get some work in.”
And it turned into a lesson. Mom sat in the shade as Rex and I worked on sandtraps. Well, getting out of them anyway. I couldn’t get out of the sandtrap of my current situation.
“You’re doing great,” Mom said more than once. It was like having a one person cheerleading team behind me at practice.
“She’s right. You are,” Rex said with a smile. He kept glancing at my mother and his smile widened.
I fought the eyeroll. Mom didn’t seem to notice Rex’s flirting. Thank God. I think I might have passed out from embarrassment. Or she did and she was playing it cool. That was almost worse.
When he finally freed me from my unexpected lesson, Mom and I hung out a bit longer so she could chat him up.
“Thank you for taking an interest in Andrea,” Mom said, gushing a little as she noticed Rex’s forearms.
“It’s my pleasure. She’s a great kid and a natural golfer.” He leaned against the counter and stared down at my mother. “Did she tell you about the tournament?”
“Oh, that reminds me.” Mom pulled the entry form from her large Kate Spade bag and handed it to Rex, along with a check. “Am I supposed to give this to you?”
He straightened and took to form. “Yeah, thanks.” He glanced over everything and smiled. “Will you be going with us?”
Mom blushed. Okay, now she knew he was flirting. I wondered if they even remembered I was there. Waiting. In mortification.
“Mom,” I said before they could flirt any more. “What time’s Dad getting home?”
That snapped her out of it. Rex, he didn’t seem to care one bit that my mother was married. Crazy thing was it didn’t bother me that they were flirting. Not really. Just that they were doing it in front of me. It was kind of nice seeing Mom actually smile, not the fake ones she wore all the time.
“Yeah, we should get home.” Her shoulders slouched as if the weight of the world was back on them. I didn’t like it. I liked Mom seeing Mom having fun. “Maybe I’ll see you before the tournament, Mr. Vargas.”
“Please, call me Rex,” he said, his voice dropping lower than usual.
I raised my eyebrows and caught his gaze. He seemed to wake up then and stood straight. I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. Okay, and to keep from laughing like a hyena. Rex’s face turn apple red. Who would’ve thought a man who remained so calm on the eighteen hole where one stroke could make or break his career would be embarrassed to be caught flirting? It was hysterical.
“See you tomorrow, Andrea,” he said gruffly.
“Sure thing, Mr. Vargas,” I said as I picked up my bag.
“Bring sneakers. I think you need to run laps to warm up.” He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.
I offered a salute. “You bet, Coach.”
“Smartass,” he mumbled under his breath, but I could tell he was laughing on the inside. I also knew he wouldn’t make me run laps. “Mrs. Hoffpauir, it was a pleasure to meet you.”
“Lucy,” she said, taking his too big hand.
His grin was dangerously wide. “Lucy,” he repeated, her name rolling off his tongue.
Ugh, gross. I didn’t hide my eyeroll then. Linking my arm through Mom’s, I tugged her away from Rex. “Come on, Mom.”
When we got to my car, Mom’s face was flushed. I started laughing. This was too surreal. Mom seemed embarrassed, yet incredibly pleased with herself.
“What?” she asked as I started my Jetta. Her face went from sunset blush to full out red stop sign.
“You were flirting with him,” I said, not bothering to hide my grin. “You’re married.”
She sighed and stared out the passenger window. “One day, you’ll understand.”
“Oh I don’t need one day.” I backed out of the space and pulled onto the street. “I get it. He’s a hottie for his age. And it’s nice to have a guy give you attention. Believe me, I totally get it.”
“Is that why you had a ... liasion with Theo Tudor this summer?” she asked point blank.
It took everything in my power not to freak out. I kept the steering wheel tightly in my hands and managed to drive straight. “Huh?” I asked.
“Don’t be coy, Andrea. It’s not you.” She crossed her arms and stared at me. “Parents talk as much as you kids. And I remember being seventeen. It may have been a lifetime ago, but I remember how it felt when a cute guy gave me attention.” She sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. “And I reme
mber how it felt when he broke my heart because he was just using me.”
“Who told you?” I whispered. The freaking out internally started to fail me. My mind ran through the rolodex of people who would tell her. It wasn’t uncommon knowledge, but it wasn’t like I announced it to the world when we got home.
“Does it really matter?” Mom asked far gentler than I would’ve expected.
“Yes,” I said, fighting back the tears. “It does to me.”
“Theo’s mother.” She put her hand on my forearm. “She found a picture of you two on his phone. It was very intimate.”
I pulled over and closed my eyes. Theo could’ve taken a picture without me even knowing about it. Was I about to be a sexting superstar? I never sent him anything like that, but that wouldn’t stop the rumors. My chest ached and I couldn’t breathe. My entire body trembled. “What was picture of?”
“You were ... lying with your head on his shoulder.” She reached over and pressed the button to turn off the engine. “His bare shoulder. You were under covers, but it was clear that you weren’t wearing a top. Please tell me you used protection.”
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. I felt the tremors before they showed their ugly heads. My shoulders shook violently. I could see red, literal red. There was nothing but the rage building inside me. I stopped thinking. I stopped listening. I just stopped.
There was only one thing.
I pressed the start button and pulled onto the street without looking. Apparently, based on the blaring horn somewhere behind me, I’d cut someone off. Mom kept talking, but I had no idea what she said. I just kept driving. Twenty minutes later, I’d pulled up to the white brick modern mansion that was the Tudor residence.
“Andrea,” Mom said, panic filling her voice. “Stop.”
I didn’t care what she wanted. Theo Tudor was the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I got out of the car and ran to the front door, pressing the annoying doorbell until his mother answered.
“What’re you doing here?” she snapped, staring down her nose at me. Theo’s mom was the essential society lady who wore pearls at home with dress pants and heels. Her hair was always styled and her makeup perfect. I hated her. I hated women like her. And I despised her son. Theo deserved the seventh circle of hell, and I was here to send him there.