by Lynn Stevens
It didn’t take long for the rumor mill to spit us out for newer, hotter gossip. People still gave me dirty looks, but Rachel was the lead story. She’d taken off to Italy for her mother’s funeral. Everyone thought Rachel’s mom died before she started at Xavier her sophomore year. Nobody had ever seen her, and Rachel never talked about her. We just assumed her mom died when Rachel was young, and Rachel didn’t really remember her. It was surreal.
It made me feel better, which made me also feel like a horrible person. My parental issues paled in comparison to Rachel’s. If anyone found out about my mom kicking Dad out, then it would be blown off as not as big as Rachel’s.
Despite us not being friends, I sent her a text.
I met Erik in the library for lunch, and I hoped a sneaky make out session. His head was in his books. I smiled as I watched him study for a moment. People really didn’t know him. It was a privilege to be allowed into his world. I sat down quietly and took out my banana.
Erik looked up from his notes and grinned. “Hey, girlfriend.”
“Hey, boyfriend,” I said matching his goofy grin.
“Hear about Rach?”
My heart sunk at how he said her name. There was an intimate familiarity between them. I nodded.
“What’s wrong?” His eyebrows wrinkled together.
I shrugged, but I promised myself not to lie and not to avoid my feelings. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense when I really think about it.” I pressed my lips together before blowing out a big breath. “I guess I’m jealous of her. Because you and her... you know.” I shrugged again for good measure. “It’s stupid.”
Erik reached across the table and put his hand on my wrist. “It’s not stupid. And Rachel and I never even kissed. There’s nothing to be jealous of. We weren’t really a couple.”
“You dated her last year after the whole Vicky debacle.” I pulled my arm away. Why would he lie about this? Everyone saw them holding hands in the hallway.
“No, I didn’t.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, then glanced around the room before leaning closer to me. “Rachel and I weren’t dating. She... helped me take some of the heat off of me after Vicky attacked. We faked the entire thing.”
“You and Rachel never....” It didn’t make sense, but I believed him. Erik was many things, but he’d never lied to me.
Erik smiled sadly. “Vicky’s the only person I’ve ever been with, Andrea. You’re my first actual girlfriend.”
I didn’t know what to say. Erik had every reason to be jealous of Theo, and of the other two guys I’d been with, but he didn’t show it. If he was, he kept it to himself. Me, I blurted it out and let him know my stupid feelings.
“I’d kinda like you to be my steady girlfriend,” he said. He was jotting notes and blatantly avoiding eye contact.
“What?” Because I did not hear that right.
He looked up, his face reddening. “I like you a lot, Andrea. We’re good together. I just... I think we should be exclusive.”
“I thought we already were,” I said, utterly dumbfounded.
Erik laughed and dropped his pencil. He leaned over the table, kissing me gently. “I didn’t want to assume.”
“You’re a goof,” I said against his lips.
Someone cleared their throat nearby. Erik sat back down. I glanced over my shoulder. The librarian shook her head, but she was smiling.
“She likes me,” Erik said, going back to his notes.
“She’s not the only one.” I took my yogurt out of my bag and peeled the aluminum foil off the top. “Are you still sneaking to the driving range with me tonight?”
“Yeah,” he said as he took a granola bar out of his bag. “Think Rex will let you out a little early?”
I snorted. “Highly doubtful. If I ask him, he’ll probably keep me there longer. Or he’ll say I’m not serious about golf.”
“But you are?” Erik asked before eating half the granola bar in one bite. I raised my eyebrows. “What? I skipped breakfast.”
“Yeah, I’m serious. He thinks I can do it.” I thought of my dad who never thought I could even open a pickle jar. “Nobody’s ever believed in me like that before.”
“I believe in you,” he said, matter of factly.
My heart jumped into my throat. “You’re required.”
“Not true.” He closed his books and shoved them in his bag. “I believed in you before we started dating. You’re really talented. Rex is right. You could be on the tour and earning a living as a golfer.”
“I hope so,” I said.
Erik stood with his bag over his shoulder. “Come on. I want to show you something. We’ve only got about ten minutes left.”
I grabbed my bag and stood. We walked out of the library together. Erik didn’t say anything until we got to the empty chemistry lab. He opened the door. Once we were inside, he dropped his bag and cupped my face, kissing me gently. My bag fell to the floor beside his. We stood in the room, kissing each other until the warning bell rang.
“What did you want to show me?” I asked, touching my swollen lips.
“How good we are together.” He kissed me quickly and picked up our bags. “I just wanted a few minutes alone with my girlfriend. Is that so wrong?”
I put my head on his shoulder as we walked down the hallway. “No. How much longer are you on house arrest?”
“Until I’m dead according to my father. My mom hasn’t said.” He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. “I wish we had more time alone.”
“Me too.” We stopped by my locker. His arm stayed firmly around me as I rolled the combination to unlock it. “We talked about me coming over to your house. Maybe we could be alone but supervised. That should make your mom happy.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I can ask. Saturday? We can watch movies in the media room.”
Erik’s media room was the stuff of legend. It was basically a small movie theater in the basement of his house. Rachel’s dad built one to rival it, but nothing compared to the Perdays.
“After the tournament,” I reminded him as I put the books I didn’t need away and grabbed the two I did. “We can celebrate my win. Although, I don’t think your dad would appreciate that.”
Erik’s head fell back. “I forgot about the tournament. That’s this weekend?”
“Yep. One more weekend of dealing with me on the course.” I pulled out my phone to check the time. Dad and I hadn’t talked since Mom booted him out. I sent him a quick text about Saturday.
“I could watch you play all day,” he said, taking my hand as we started toward the parking lot. “I’ve got three papers due next week. My focus has been there and not on golf. I’d planned on sitting outside by the pool with my laptop and working.” He shrugged and glanced down at me. “I’d rather be on the golf course with you though.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“You owe me,” Rex said when I got to his office twenty minutes later. Erik had been summoned home by his father so he couldn’t come to my lesson. Probably just as well. Rex had been pushing me harder and he’d see Erik as a distraction. He said as much already.
“Why do I owe you?” I asked, setting my golf bag down just inside the door. Cassi smiled at me and finished helping the guy at the window. She’d been great about ignoring our conversations. Hopefully she’d keep doing it.
He turned his monitor around. It was an email saying my payment hadn’t processed for the tournament he’d wanted me in. My face burned with shame. I hadn’t even thought to warn him about that.
“I paid the fee,” he said turning the monitor back toward him. “You’re playing, Andrea. And now you have to win.”
I smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. A lot’s happened this week.”
“Tell me.” He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. “I want your mind clear when you play. There are always going to be distractions, but you need to learn how to deal with them and when to talk them out. So talk.”
�
��I’ll pay you back,” I said quietly. “And I’ll win. Don’t worry about that.”
He pointed to the chair in front of him.
I sat down and sighed. He wasn’t going to give up so offering the bare bones of the story would have to do. “My dad lost his job, didn’t tell my mom. Now we’re broke and she kicked him out of the house. My best friend found out I was seeing Erik and freaked out. Now half the school hates me. Can we practice now?”
“Why would your best friend care about your boyfriend? And why didn’t she know? It was obvious the first time I saw you guys together.” Rex twisted his face into a curious stare. It was almost comical.
“That’s what you focus on? My love life?” I raised my eyebrows. “That’s kinda creepy, Rex.”
He laughed and sat forward. “How’s your mom handling everything?”
“She’s surviving.” I glanced away then looked back at him. “She’s been going to law school. I didn’t know that either. I hate that people think I’m too stupid to deal with anything. They’ve always treated me like a porcelain doll that will break at any tiny hiccup. I haven’t broken yet.”
“You won’t either.” Rex stood and picked up my clubs, hefting the strap over his shoulder. “You’re stronger than they know. Stronger than you know. You’ll get through this.”
“Promise me something?” I asked, suddenly needing one adult on my side. “Promise me you’ll never lie to me.”
“Your long game is excellent. Your short game needs work and you putt like a pro.” He held open the door. “How’s that for honesty?”
“Thank you,” I said as I passed him. “And my short game is better than yours was when you were my age.”
Rex laughed and closed the door behind us. “Maybe, but can you win three championships and best me?”
I glanced over my shoulder, grinning when I saw he was only half-joking. “I’ll win more than that.”
“That’s my girl.”
I shivered. It wasn’t said in a creepy way, but like something a father would say to his daughter. I need to hear it. I wanted to hear it from my own father. It was too bad Rex decided never to have kids. He would’ve been a great dad.
Three hours later, I parked my Jetta in the driveway. Nobody else was home. Then I remembered the only other person who should be was Mom. I checked my phone. Sure enough, there was a text from her saying she was meeting with her new boss and would be back by eight.
There was also a text from my brother.
Brendan: You okay?
Once I got inside, I sat at the kitchen counter and replied. Not really.
The video chat rang, and I swiped it open. God it was good to see him again.
“Hey, sis,” he said, looking far sadder than I thought he should be considering he was living it up in Chicago.
“Hey,” I said. His eyes were puffy. “What’s wrong?”
“Ethan and I broke up. I had to move into a crappy apartment with one of my lesbian friends. She likes to party too much and study too little.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his dirty hair until it stood on end. “It’s been a bad week.”
“You can say that again.” A tear slipped from my eyes. Ethan had seemed so into my brother. I hated to see him miserable like this. “Come home this weekend. Be my caddy at the tournament.”
“I don’t think Dad wants me in his house,” he said, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”
I stared at him for a long minute. He didn’t know. Mom hadn’t told him. Mom always told him everything. This had to be the first time in my life I actually knew something before my brother.
“What?” he asked, still sniffling.
“Mom kicked Dad out.” There wasn’t any reason to dance around it.
“What?” he shrieked, his face contorting in confusion. “When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought Mom told you,” I said. My empathy disappeared for a moment. It wasn’t like there were thing he’d never told me before. “Why are you yelling at me? It’s not my fault she didn’t call you.”
“But you could have!”
“How was I supposed to know she didn’t’ tell you? I’m normally the last to know everything, so why wouldn’t it be the same this time around?” I wiped the tears from the edges of my eyes. “And how did this get to be my fault?”
He held up a hand. “Sorry. You’re right.” He shoved both hands into his hair, a sure sign he thought life was spinning out of control. “I just never expected that to happen. Did she tell you about law school?”
“You knew?” It was a stab to my heart. She trusted Brendan with that little secret. “Why am I always the last to know everything?”
“Only because I borrowed her car this summer and found the books.” He smiled sadly. “Mom’s a chameleon. You think she’s one thing when she’s really another. I always thought she was this docile, timid trophy wife type, but she’s been going to school since I was a freshman. She had to finish her bachelor’s first. Did you know she had dropped out her sophomore year to be with Dad?”
“I had no idea.” My mother wasn’t a chameleon. She was an enigma.
“We had a heart to heart before I left. Mom’s wanted to kick Dad out for a while, even though she didn’t say that. She just needed to bide her time because she didn’t have him sign a prenup.”
“She needed him to do something terrible? To warrant a divorce?”
“Pretty much. So what did he do?”
“Lost his job. Like a long time ago. We’re totally broke, Brendan.” I propped my phone up against the empty sugar container. “He drained all the money.”
Brendan shook his head. “What a dick.”
“He never told her. She had no idea what was going on,” I said, growing more frustrated with my father.
“Oh, trust me, she knew.” Brendan smiled sadly. “Mom knows more than you realize.”
I snorted. “Yeah, she knew about my adventures in Europe of the summer.”
“Whoa, hold on,” Brendan said, leaning closer to the screen. “What adventures in Europe?”
I covered my face, then decided to open that wound again. The story spilled out. All of it, without sordid details, but everything including my relationship with Erik and Vicky’s reaction.
“Damn,” he said when I finished. “First, I’m going to kick Theo’s ass. Second, damn. What’re you going to do about Vicky?”
“Nothing?”
“You can’t do nothing. You two have been friends since preschool.” He sat back and rubbed his hand over his face. “You need to force her to talk to you. If only to clear the air. Maybe you’re right and your friendship is irreparable. But maybe she just needs to open her eyes to more than her own little world.”
“She won’t talk to me, Brendan.”
“Give it time.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened with Ethan?” I asked slowly. He had been so head over heels for the guy I almost didn’t want to know.
“Ethan decided he wanted a third person in our relationship,” Brendan said quietly. “Only he didn’t want to tell me about it.”
“He cheated on you?” I found that hard to believe.
“Don’t let his quiet demeanor fool you. He’s a manwhore.” Brendan sighed. “I just was too in love to realize it. Sis, I gotta go. I’ve got a big test tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I have calc homework. It won’t take me long, but it still needs to be done.”
Brendan grinned. “My sister the math wiz. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yeah, and Brendan?” I said. “Thanks for calling.”
He grinned and I could tell he felt a little better. “Later.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The next few days were the same. Rachel’s mother’s death was still the lead story. My relationship with Erik was secondary. For once, Vicky wasn’t the one leading the gossip train. She actually looked miserable. I wondered if something was w
rong between her and Daniel.
Then I remembered she hated me so I was less sympathetic.
“Andrea,” Theo cooed as he stopped too close.
“You’re invading my space,” I said, opening my locker door and wishing it would smack him in the face. “Leave.”
“You didn’t mind me invading your space a few months ago,” he said, leaning closer.
“What do you want, Theo?” I asked. Over his shoulder, I saw Erik walking toward us. He noticed Theo and narrowed his eyes.
“I never really gave us a chance.” He propped his arm against the lockers. “We were good together in Europe.” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “We were great in my sleeper car.”
I wanted to hit him. I wanted to knee him in the groin. Instead, I started laughing. And I kept laughing as I closed my locker door and walked by him to Erik. Then, to make my point more than crystal clear, I pulled Erik’s mouth to mine and kissed him in a way that would’ve made a porn star blush.
“What was that for?” Erik asked once we pulled away.
“Theo just had the balls to hit on me.” I took his hand, knowing his anger would skyrocket instantly.
“So you used me to tell him no, instead of just telling him no,” Erik’s grip tightened on my fingers.
He was definitely getting angry, but it was at me and not Theo. What the hell?
“Is that all I am, Andrea? A way to get over Theo?”
This was ridiculous. I tugged him through the nearest door, which just happened to be a utility closet. I pushed him against the door and jabbed my finger into his chest. The disinfectants and chemicals filled my nose.
“You don’t get to be mad at me,” I snapped, jamming my finger repeatedly. “Theo just hit on me. Even though the entire school knows we’re dating. So, yeah, I wanted to prove my point that I’m with you and nobody else. So I kissed you the way I’ve wanted to kiss you since our date.”
“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows and pulled me toward him. “Is that how you really want to kiss me? Not what we’ve been doing?”
“We’ve been regulated to public displays of affection.” I put my hands on his shoulders then snaked my arms behind his neck. “And you kiss me like I’m going to break. Or run away.”