“I want to have kids, just not right now. I still have too much I want to do with my life.”
“Like what? Stay home, watch TV, and eat bon-bons?”
“Kara you know I want to get back into acting. And I’m still working on my book.”
“The book you’ve been working on for seven years. Okay.”
“I’m almost done with it.”
“You’ve been almost done for seven years. But I hear you. Handle your business. All I’m saying is if I was you, I’d be killing myself trying to have that man’s babies.”
“Kara, you do know there’s more to life than being married and having babies, right?”
“Says the woman who’s married and can morally have as many children as she wants without judgment.”
“It’s a new day and age Kara. You don’t have to be married to have kids.”
“Girl, my mother and grand-mother would keel over and have heart attacks if I even thought about having a baby out of wedlock, not to mention me being a single parent and raising one by myself. No way.” Kara shifted and changed the subject. “Speaking of mothers, when’s the last time you talked to yours?”
Serenity blanched. This was a subject that was completely off limits and Kara knew it. Serenity didn’t know why the hell she was bringing it up. “I haven’t,” she tersely answered. “Not since she went back to rehab.”
“Are you going to go see her?”
“I have no interest in seeing her.”
“Do you know how she’s doing in there?”
“The last time I talked to her peer counselor she said she was doing good. But my mom has always been good at manipulating people to garner the sympathy card.”
“Well Serenity, maybe the third time’s the charm. Maybe rehab will work this time.”
Serenity blew her hair up off her forehead and sighed in aggravation. “Kara you’ve known me for half of my life. When has my mother ever seemed like she wanted to get better or even tried hard to get better? She always quits before she’s done with the program. I’m sure this time won’t be any different.”
“Serenity, it takes people time. You’ve never had an addiction before- “
“Neither have you.”
Kara patiently sighed. “Be that as it may, it is a struggle. You don’t have to be an addict to know that. I know she hurt you a lot. I know that. “
Serenity gnawed her lip as bitter tears formed in her eyes. Harsh memories of nights spent home alone while her mother was out prostituting herself to cop her next high flooded her brain. “Hurt doesn’t even begin to describe the heartache my mom put me through.”
“Yes baby, I know that, but she is your mother and you only have one. You don’t want to wait until it’s too late to try to mend things. Even if she never gets any better, at least do your part to be there for her amid all her madness.”
“I am her only child and I have more than done my part,” Serenity stubbornly insisted, pulling on a wayward strand of hair. “I have forgiven that woman more times than she deserves. I’m not putting myself through that false hope again.”
“Serenity, I know she hurt you and did some horrible things to you and put you through hell… But that was a long time ago. Don’t you think you should let it go?”
Serenity put her hand on her hip. “I’m not ready to let it go Kara.”
“Has she been asking for you? I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”
“She’s not worried about me. The only thing she ever talks about whenever I’m around is Tristan and when he’s coming back. That son of a bitch broke my heart and all she cares about is him. I couldn’t even go to her and talk about it when he left me; she was too strung out to even care. I’m done Kara. I wish my mom all the best and I hope she gets the help she needs and stays long enough for it to work. But I doubt. It. That woman died the moment she gave her life over to her addiction.”
A long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them.
Kara, as usual whenever they had a disagreement about anything, was the first to break the ice. “So, how are you enjoying married life?”
Serenity was still smarting from the conversation about her mother and refused to answer at first. She walked to the French doors that led to her and Nyle’s outside patio and stared out. “Nice segue way Kara, but it’s not going to work. Besides, we already talked about my married life.”
“No we didn’t. I said if I were you I would sit on his face five to six times a day and then you said you’d just gotten up off his face and it was shining like a box of glazed donuts.”
Serenity pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it like it had grown legs. Despite herself, she busted out laughing. Only Kara could go from talking about her heroin-addicted mother to her sex life and make her forget everything and laugh. Kara soon started laughing with her.
“Married life is wonderful,” Serenity breezily answered. “Better than I could’ve ever imagined.”
“Are you happier than you’ve ever been?” Kara excitedly asked. “It really does change you, doesn’t it? Makes life more fulfilling and rewarding?”
Serenity continued to stare out the French door windows. She chewed on a manicured nail as the OCD in her noticed that several of the rose bushels were in dire need of a good manicure. She made a mental note to call their landscaper the next day.
“Serenity?” Kara called to her.
“It really does change you,” Serenity robotically attested. “And yes, I am the happiest I have ever been.”
She left out the part about Tristan and how she was still stupidly pining over him after all these years. She couldn’t talk to Kara about it and that was lonely for her. She wished she could, but she knew better. Kara was “Team Nyle” all day long. She hadn’t liked Tristan since the beginning of him and Serenity’s courtship and after he left her, Kara couldn’t stop goading about how she’d been right about him all along. When Serenity and Tristan were together Kara did everything short of openly disrespecting him. She half-spoke to him, ignored him whenever he was around, and talked over him whenever he’d try to join Kara and Serenity’s conversations. Sometimes when he called Serenity while she was hanging out with Kara, she’d grab Serenity’s phone and disconnect the call if she thought they were talking too long.
Once, Kara and Tristan had even come to blows and almost physically fought. They were in one another’s faces, screaming, yelling, and pointing at each-other like two kids in high-school. Serenity had to get in between them and separate them. So, Serenity knew the last thing she needed to do was mention to Kara that she was still in love with him. She hadn’t even told Kara about the incident at the church. It was hard not telling her best friend what was going on with her, but she knew she didn’t have any other choice. It was a devastating reality for her.
Serenity turned away from the rose garden and walked towards the front of the house. “You had a hot date last night, right?” she asked Kara. “It was with that doctor you met in the ER?”
Kara sighed dramatically. “Yes. Eric is his name and he is so fine.”
Serenity chuckled and shook her head. Nyle had laid that day’s mail on the writing desk that sat in the family room and she picked it up and sorted through it. “I still can’t believe you were flirting with a guy who treated you for a severe yeast infection. That is so fuckin’ gross.”
“Well, it was a good ice-breaker. And he obviously didn’t think so. It got me a date. Obviously, my pussy was so pretty he couldn’t refuse me.”
Serenity made a face and looked through some of the junk mail. She made a note to herself to clip some of the coupons from her favorite grocery store. She and Nyle were loaded but she was still thrifty. And she loved a good bargain. Being the daughter of a heroin addict had taught her to be sensible and to never take anything for granted.
“So, how was it?” she eagerly asked Kara. “The date?”
Kara heavily sighed again. “It was disastrous. All he did was stare at my tit
s all night and he kept talking about sex and how much he loved to give head. I suppose staring at and examining my pussy for almost ten minutes made him crave a taste.”
“After looking at your infected pussy he wanted to taste it? Real classy Kara.”
“Even infected my pussy is still quite pretty Serenity.”
Serenity’s stomach twisted at the thought. She swallowed against the nausea welling in her throat. The way Kara was she’d probably offered it to the guy on a silver platter. She probably hadn’t given him much choice. “The dude sounds kind of twisted Kara. Did you sleep with him? Please tell me you didn’t.”
“Hell yeah, I fucked him. I was horny as well. You should’ve seen how gorgeous this man looked last night. The moment I saw him standing on my porch when he came to pick me up, I knew I was in trouble. He has blue eyes ‘Ren and you know how I love a man with blue eyes. Besides, I hadn’t had my pussy licked in six months and it had been even longer than that since I’d had sex. I was long overdue.”
“Let me get this straight. The man knew you had a yeast infection and he still went down on you? And he’s a doctor?”
“Look Serenity, everyone is not cut from the same morality cloth as you. Besides, it’s been over a week since we met. It’s cleared up.”
Serenity noticed Nyle’s wallet laying in one of the compartments on the desk and picked it up. This was the third time this week he’d left the house without grabbing it. “So, how was it? Was it good?”
“Beyond good. Best head and biggest dick I’ve ever had in my life. Hands down!”
“As opposed to the last guy- what was his name? Bruce- that you screwed a while ago who had the biggest dick and had what you called a hurricane tongue?”
“Yeah, so?” Kara defensively snorted.
Serenity laughed good-naturedly. “So, when are you seeing him again? Cause I know you are.”
“He’s coming back for round two tonight.”
Serenity looked towards the hallway in surprise as the front doorbell rang. Figuring it was Nyle coming back to get his wallet, Serenity headed towards the door.
“Hey Kara. Someone is at the door. I think it’s Nyle; he forgot his wallet. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“You too.”
Dropping the phone on a table in the foyer, Serenity pasted a big smile on her face and spoke as she reached the front door. “Babe, is that you?” She pulled the door open. “You forgot your- “
Her voice trailed off when she saw who was standing on the other side of the door. Her face instantly paled like she’d seen a ghost. A scream rose in her throat and stuck. Dazedly, she grabbed the doorknob with a clammy hand.
Dark, heated eyes focused on hers as she stood in the doorway.
“Tris-Tristan,” she croaked.
SERENITY
He was a vision of everything good and evil standing casually on her porch, leaned against the door jamb with his hands in his pockets. He was as beautiful as the last day she’d seen him. He was wearing a black leather jacket with a tan form-fitting t-shirt beneath and black jeans.
Upon her answering the door, his eyes had brightened excitedly then almost immediately dimmed wickedly with lust and love.
The wallet from Serenity’s hand hit the floor with a light thud. Slowly, she began backing away from him. She gulped the air, struggling to breath. She felt like she was drowning under water. She began audibly panting. Her heart raced; her skin prickled with awareness. An element of danger descended in the cool evening breeze and seemed to suffocate the air the longer she stared into his eyes. Her body began responding to him in ways she’d long kept inhibited. She immediately became moist; her nipples hardened beneath the thin button-down shirt she was wearing. She felt light-headed and dizzy. Her hand went to her throat as a tsunami of emotions flooded her all at once.
“Tristan…” she breathlessly gasped again.
He simply stood there, continuing to lean against the doorway like they had just seen one another yesterday.
“What are you doing here Tristan?”
He said nothing.
“You-you have to leave,” she hurriedly continued. “Nyle left his wa-wallet. He’ll be back here in a minute. You-you need to leave. Now.”
Her words had no effect on him. Anxiety gripped Serenity’s chest as his eyes slowly scanned her from head to toe. She was wearing an old button-down shirt of Nyle’s and nothing else. No pants, socks, or shoes. Her newly dyed curly blondish-brown hair fell down her back in unruly waves. It was wild and unkempt and badly in need of a good brushing. Tristan had always loved that look on her. He looked at her like a lion that had been caged without food for too long and was now released and focused on its prey.
The vibe coming off him was unapologetically self-confident and it unnerved her to no end. His confidence was one of the things that had attracted her to him in the first place. He seemed utterly unaffected by his surroundings. He was out of his element. He was on her turf, standing on the porch of a house Nyle owned. He was cool as a cucumber. And it fucking turned her on.
Serenity’s world became dizzying and calming all at once. “You can’t do this to me,” she desperately whined. “It’s not fair.”
With his eyes possessively fixed on hers, Tristan pushed away from the door jamb, stepped up into the entryway, walked inside the house and slammed the door, purposely walking towards her.
“No,” she faintly replied, backing away faster.
Her voice faded as Tristan grabbed her face with both hands and stared deeply into her eyes. Serenity rapidly blinked as a soft cry of protest escaped her trembling lips.
With that simple touch from his big, strong hands, it was all over. The charge his touch gave her was so impactful and so immediate it was like being struck by lightning. Every time he touched her it was like the first time all over again. Every. Single. Time. Seven years had done nothing to squelch that.
Her hands went up in a silent plea as he pressed his body against hers and pushed her against the wall opposite the grand stairway. He kept his body pressed tight against hers as he ran his fingers over her face, neck, and shoulders, looking at her like a man starving, dying, and being born again all at once.
Serenity pressed against his chest with her small hands, trying to push him away; then seeing it wasn’t working, she started punching him with her fists. She was so weak it came out more like a plea than a rebuttal.
“No,” she begged him. “No.”
Still gazing fixedly into her eyes, Tristan leaned his mouth down to hers and hovered there, barely touching her lips. “I missed you,” he gravelly whispered. “God, I missed you.”
He lightly clamped down on her bottom lip with his teeth and lightly tugged it. His hands were tight against her face. He looked at her as he bit and licked her lips, inhaling and exhaling in her mouth; his hard and erratic breathing matching hers. He closed his eyes and shakily sighed as he stuck his tongue in her mouth, tasting her. A harsh groan emitted from somewhere deep inside him.
Serenity’s body immediately responded to the sound. She began shaking; whimpering against his lips, trying to keep them closed. His mouth opened and closed against hers, his hands held her close, his moans continued as his tongue gently probed her mouth. Serenity’s hands opened and closed at his chest; then at his neck. She was still widely looking at him, afraid if she closed her eyes he’d disappear. She pounded her fists into his flesh; then drew him near. Immediately, she was addicted again. To his smell; to his energy, his heat, his breath, his voice. His taste- God, his taste! His heart beating hard beneath her palms at his neck; beating fast for her. She was fighting hard. So hard. So damn hard.
Serenity broke away from his desperate kiss and looked at him. Her eyes held his for a beat; then greedily roamed over him. He looked different. He had gained his weight back and then some. He had cut his thick hair into the style she loved; short at the back, close at the sides, long on top. He looked so fucking sexy, and h
e still had his beard and mustache, only this time it was groomed and impeccable. He was gorgeous. Beautiful. Hers.
Serenity once again looked into his impenetrable eyes. His eyes were flooded with tears, as were hers. Her entire body was heavy with emotion. Her heart soared with so much yearning and love it was overwhelming.
Tristan puts his hand to her neck and pushed her head back, looking at her. He placed full lips against the hollow of her neck and softly bit the tender, honey-colored skin. He tugged on her loose, wild hair and groaned. His hands drug down her chest and around to her back, hugging her tight and pulling her closer as his tongue stroked her flesh. A tear cascaded down Serenity’s cheek. Her hands were in his hair, yanking and pulling.
Her breath expelled with need as she whispered his name. “Tristan.”
Mine All Mine : Book One Page 9