by Mike Morcerf
day.
Longing for ever; for never.
Longing for inspiration.
Longing for words.
Such a huge longing!
Good night, my dear friend Diary.
Day 55 – Wednesday “Gun”
Diary!
I came so close to losing you!
Although you don’t have eyes to see what I see, I’m sure you felt the storm last night. I say that because water invaded the tent and got you.
What a hard night.
My clothes are still wet and all the food I was carrying is ruined.
Luckily, Jonathan’s tent is huge and safe. I took you with me after I was woken up by the water and went to his tent, but left the rest of my stuff behind.
I got concerned about losing you, but the sun mysteriously showed up in the morning and the storm disappeared. Therefore, I could put you up to dry for a while.
However, I won’t lie, you’re looking awful.
While we were in Jonathan’s tent, he and I decided to have some food, and I accidentally saw a gun among his belongings. That creeped me out.
He explained himself right away, telling me that the gun was from his deceased father.
His father once mentioned to him that a safe man is an armed man.
Then, I placed my stuff under the sun light for a while, and Jonathan and I put everything away and hit the road again, abandoning my dead tent.
We found a small town in the way and decided to look for a motel there, so we could take a good sleep, recover our energy and organize our baggage. I also need to buy another tent.
When we were asking the people about a cheap good place to sleep over, we met Scarlet; a very kind old woman who offered us a place in her house for a reasonable price; and she also would get our clothes washed.
She lives alone and told us that one of her 7 sons had died a few months ago due to bronchitis, and the others were married and scattered throughout the country.
She never had a daughter, although she always wished to have one; and her husband, who is already dead, was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis.
She spoke about many subjects that lonely people speak about and made us an excellent dinner.
After eating, we went to sleep.
The bedroom that she put us in is kind of big and has 3 bunk beds, which belonged to her sons.
There’s just one window in this room. I’m on the top of a bunk bed that is right in front of the window. Jonathan chose the bunk bed that is close to the door, and is lying on the bottom mattress of it.
The window has no curtain and faces a light pole outside. The light pole’s light hits my face, but I’m not annoyed for that; actually that was the reason I chose this bed, so I can write.
I was thinking about Jonathan’s gun;
Anxiety doesn’t kill.
Anguish doesn’t kill.
Depression doesn’t kill.
Sadness doesn’t kill.
Even a badly spent life doesn’t kill.
Ignorance doesn’t kill.
Vulgarity doesn’t kill.
Frustration doesn’t kill.
A gun kills.
Day 56 – Thursday “Just A Slow Day”
Hi Diary,
Johnatan and I got awake very early and there was a huge breakfast waiting for us at the kitchen; Scarlet’s courtesy.
We had a little conversation and after eating I went to the living room and saw that she had a Christmas tree standing there. Christmas is about to come and I had completely forgotten about this. My mother must be feeling awkward for not having me around now.
We took a shower, had lunch, said bye to Scarlet, and departed on a bus.
The plan was to get off in a town that sounded better.
It had been a long time since last time I traveled without any worries in my mind like I did today. This freedom feels just amazing.
Once we dropped off in a nice town, we were amazed by the town’s buildings and organization. Everything here is very clean and tidied.
In the center of the town there’s a main square, and two Christmas mangers lying on it; one in each extremity, and both were featuring baby Jesus.
I got sad. Those poor, little, plaster babies were destined to death after becoming an adult, and that was unfair. Consequently, I had a brilliant idea to save them.
I told Jonathan that I had a crazy plan, for which would be necessary to have a marker and a sheet of paperboard, so we went to a store and bought it.
He was very curious about my plan and asked me about it hundreds of times, “That is a surprise,” I would answer.
We had lunch, found a humble motel to sleep over and I told him I would tell him my idea at the very morning while it was still dark.
Then, I did something that I haven’t done for a long time: Set up the alarm clock.
I will wake up with the support of an electronic device, but with a good reason this time.
Jonathan also asked me about you, Diary. He wanted to know why I’m carrying you around everywhere.
I explained the reasons I had to create you and how much you’re important to me nowadays.
After that, he asked no more.
Jonathan respects me a lot.
Well, I’m going to sleep. I can’t wait for tomorrow.
Good night, my friend.
Day 57 – Friday “Got Jesus?”
Hi Diary,
After being awaken by the clock’s screams, Jonathan and I woke up with a period of silence, not talking to each other; being unnaturally awake is awful.
Then we both took a shower and while we were eating something, he asked me about my plan.
I told him I was feeling bad about Plaster Jesuses’ destiny. Therefore, I was planning to rescue them from the mangers and leave a letter in their places. The letter of mine would be left in one, and the letter from Jonathan would be left in the other.
Jonathan laughed a lot. He almost pissed himself and said he had a perfect letter to leave on his Plaster Jesus’ place.
That was exactly 5:22 am when we left the motel.
The town was quiet; empty. It was all ours.
We reached the first target, got the first Plaster Jesus and put it into my backpack. Then, I left the following letter in its place, “Sorry for the sudden retreat, but I don’t want to be crucified in this incarnation. Xoxo, Jesus.”
Jonathan’s turn had come and he really surprised me with his letter.
He had delicately put Plaster Jesus II into his backpack and left his letter, “Dear God, I have been passing through a very hard economic situation, so if you want to see your son again, you’d better materialize 15 thousand dollars into my bank account. Sincerely, Kidnapper.”
We hit the road again, laughing a lot about our little prank, and then, we threw the Plaster Jesuses in some bushes that we found beside the road.
We walked for a few hours and found a great place to take a rest, so we decided to stay there overnight.
When the sun was setting, we resolved to build a campfire. Consequently, we went after dried wood sticks. It was a little hard to find any because most of them were wet.
After collecting wood, we put Jonathan’s tent up. I will have to buy mine in the next town we stop by.
Then, we lay in the grass and looked to the clouds until the stars started to show up. We talked about life meanwhile.
We started the campfire. After that, Jonathan came up with the crazy idea of having a ritual dance just like the Indians.
He knew a number of good songs for that; songs which his father used to sing while he was cooking, he said.
We sung and danced around the fire, like we were getting ready for a battle. It was revitalizing.
I never understood why people spend so much time without singing, or even dancing for no reason.
I never understood why people don’t draw, don’t paint, or write poetries.
It’s hard to understand why people forget their human gifts after getting older.
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br /> Jonathan now is in the tent and I’m outside enjoying the warm fire.
Well, see you tomorrow, Diary.
Day 58 – Saturday “Farewell”
Diary!
I think we drew too much attention last night!
I feel completely lost right now.
We are very close to the road, but hidden among the bushes.
Jonathan walks in circles while he’s waiting for me. I got to write it quickly.
I will tell you what happened:
I was sleeping when suddenly I woke up because of noises coming from outside the tent.
Upon awakening, I looked around and noticed that Jonathan wasn’t there, so I went outside.
I saw Jonathan being spanked by two drunk men.
I went to help him right away.
I have never gotten so roughed up in my life like I got today.
The two men left Jonathan for a while, came after me and used me as a punching bag.
They were saying that Johnata and I were deadweights to the world and deserved to die.
When I started to stop feeling my face, I heard a huge thunder sound, although it wasn’t raining.
That was Jonathan, who at that moment, became a thunder demigod, son of Zeus.
He had shot one guy in the head. The other one disappeared right after that.
I bet he went to call the police.
I don’t want to be arrested.
I just got out of a prison; I can’t get in another one now!
After asking the Universe to safely guide the soul of that corpse to its right place, we asked It to forgive us for what we have done, and also the two men for what they did to us.
Jonathan threw up. He had never killed even a bird before.
He looks very upset now. He buried the gun and said that nobody else will be taken by it again.
We don’t know what to do, but I feel that it’s time to say farewell to you, my dear Diary.
I’m very grateful for everything you have done for me.
I can see how selfish I was.
I was sick.
You taught me that life becomes better