“Did you even stay in the Narc den?”
“No.”
“You left after I left?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, you’re good.”
“So what was the result of the DNA test?”
“What?”
“What were the results of the test? Did it shed any light on where you came from? Your parents?”
“It seems I don’t have any.”
Natalie raises an eyebrow. “Immaculate conception?”
“Immaculate deception.”
“Ah,” says Natalie, “nice answer.” She takes the straw of her cocktail and places it between her full, red lips.
“I’m good,” I shrug. I open the newspaper to page three. I see something that makes me freeze.
“Look, I’m sorry I betrayed you,” says Natalie. “It seems awful. But I wasn’t acting. I had an amazing time with you.”
Rose is waiting a nearby table and I spot her eyeing Natalie, then glancing back at me. I look at page three again. I can’t believe my eyes. I have to get out of here.
“Are you ok?” asks Natalie.
“I have to go,” I say, quietly.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” I say, closing the newspaper. “I just don’t feel too well.” My body starts to tighten with panic. “Call me,” I add. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“Why don’t you come over for a swim in the ocean with me? That will calm you down. You need to relax.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Uh… sharks. There’s sharks.”
“Oh well,” shrugs Natalie, before adding suggestively, “…I’m not afraid of being eaten.”
“Dear god.”
Natalie studies me for a moment. “You’ve seen something in the newspaper… do you know that girl on page three?”
“No, stop being heinous,” I reply, getting to my feet, folding the newspaper under my arm.
Natalie puts her straw to her mouth and takes a long drink, nearly emptying the glass. “I’m coming with you,” she says.
My phone starts to vibrate on the table’s surface. It’s Amelia. I don’t answer and shove it in my pocket.
“Who was that?” asks Natalie.
“Unknown number.” I walk towards the counter and Natalie follows. I throw a random note from my wallet next to the cash register. Kate picks up the note as I say with a calm smile, “Keep the change.”
Outside I’m on the footpath, trying to find a taxi. Natalie’s by my side. I step to the edge of the road and she follows.
“You’re coming home with me, aren’t you,” I say.
“Yes, I think it’s for the best.”
A convertible rolls past, four tanned guys turn to look at her. “Need a ride?” one of them calls out.
Natalie just smiles back and shakes her head. The four men continue on their way.
“Well at least no one is going to notice me while you’re by my side.”
“See, I’m helping already.”
I wave at a taxi that cruises past, but it has passengers.
“You know what the really fucked thing is?” I ask. “I wouldn’t be talking to you right now if you were unattractive. Isn’t that… gravely unfortunate?”
“Not for me,” she shrugs.
“Maybe not, but it’s depressing. Genuinely depressing.”
Another taxi approaches, its light on. Before I have lifted my hand to wave it down, Natalie steps out into the road. The vehicle screeches to a halt.
“Ah, so that’s how you stop traffic,” I remark, following Natalie into the backseat.
The driver drops us off in the rear lane of my building, which is deserted. I pass him a random note and he then eyes Natalie as she exits the car. I unlock a rear fire exit of my building and we step through a back entrance to the main foyer and into one of the empty elevators.
Halfway to the top floor, Natalie pushes me against the wall and kisses me. Pulling away for a moment she asks, “You know the missing girls, don’t you?”
“I think so, yes,” I say, completely at her mercy.
“How do I know I’m not next then? How do I know you’re not going to kill me as soon as we get inside your apartment.”
“I suppose you don’t. But what difference does it make? You’re already a target.”
“And whoever is kidnapping them has a pretty good record so far,” she says.
“Well, I must always get my girl,” I smile.
“So there’s no point trying to resist you? I should just accept my fate.”
“I could ask you the same question.”
Natalie smiles with her luscious mouth. She reaches out and pushes the emergency stop button. The elevator grinds to a halt.
“I always get my guy,” she says.
“Turn the elevator back on.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to get to my apartment.”
“You’ll get there,” smiles Natalie. “Eventually.” She gives a short tug at the knot of her sarong and it falls to the ground.
The mirrored walls of the elevator surround us. I have a hazy flashback to being with Natalie at Membrané. A fly in a web.
“You like mirrors, don’t you.”
“I don’t dislike them,” she smiles.
“This isn’t fair.”
“Jack, you’re a free man. If you want to go to your apartment, just turn the elevator on.”
Natalie moves her sunglasses from her face and puts them up on her head. Seeing her eyes again reminds me of the manipulative intensity she held over me after Brannagh’s party.
“I will,” I say, but I don’t move. I could take her right now and she’d let me do anything to her.
Natalie reaches an arm behind her back and unties the knot of her bikini top. The fabric falls loose at the front. The reptilian part of my brain grins smugly at my moral conscience.
“I promise I won’t keep a sample this time,” says Natalie.
“How would I know?”
“Because you can watch me swallow it.”
My heart stops beating for about three seconds. But somewhere in my blossoming lust I find a shred of self-control. “I can’t do this...” I sigh and lean past her to restart the elevator. It surges to life.
“Impressive,” she says, retying her bikini top. “That took some will power.”
I lean against the wall of the elevator, unable to look at her. “It’s just the distractions,” I sigh. “It’s the distractions that kill you in the end.”
While Natalie is showering in my bathroom, I start filling a small suitcase with things I’ll need. I need to disappear for a while. I’ll work out what is going on and put things right. But I don’t know where to go. Where to start. I don’t even know why I’m packing, but it feels pro-active.
Natalie walks into my bedroom. Her hair hangs limp and moist. The towel I gave her is tied across her chest. I gave her my smallest towel.
“This isn’t a very big towel,” says Natalie.
“Uh, yeah. All my bigger towels are… unavailable.”
“Is that right?”
“Sure, why not.”
“I don’t suppose you have any clothes I could put on? In the interests of modesty.”
“I didn’t think you had much interest in that.”
She gives me a sarcastic smile and walks towards the bed. “Don’t think I’m on offer all the time. Your windows of opportunity aren’t open as often as you think.”
“Yes, but some windows take longer to close than others.” Pointing to the closet, I say, “I’ve got a suitcase full of women’s clothing if you want to have a look.”
“Very funny.”
“I’m serious.”
“Why would you have a suitcase full of women’s clothing?”
“Left overs.”
“Well I’m sure the police wouldn’t find that suspicious at all.”
“I think a portion of them might belong to t
he missing girls.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Show me.”
“Look in the bottom of the far cupboard.”
Natalie crosses the room, slides the built-in robe open and pulls out the black suitcase. She wheels it into the centre of the room and unzips. Kneeling down, she sifts through the items.
“Wow, this is quite a collection.”
“Expensive tastes,” I say, lying back on the bed with the newspaper next to me.
“So this is like your trophy cabinet?”
“It’s just a lost and found.”
“If the police found this, it would look bad.”
“I think they’d be secretly impressed.”
“Or they’d think you’re a cross-dresser.”
“I’ve tried, but most of those are too big for me.”
Natalie holds up a black lace negligee. “Does anyone know about this suitcase?”
I take a deep breath. “Britney does.”
“Britney is the name of the girl in today’s newspaper. On page three.”
“Yes.”
“Fuck,” says Natalie.
“And when she left my apartment she was wearing clothing from this suitcase.”
“So… Britney was wearing something that might belong to one of the missing girls?”
“Yes.”
“And now she’s missing?”
“Only if you believe the newspapers.”
Natalie picks up a short, white summer dress that has a pink rose-flower pattern. “Who did this belong to?” she asks.
I’m starting to stress. My mind’s racing. I lean over to my bedside dresser and rummage through the top drawer. “That dress belonged to a girl called Stephanie.” I find some pills in a small plastic bag and pull one out, swallowing it with some water from a plastic bottle next to the bed.
Natalie stands up and drops the towel from her body. She then pulls the dress over her head and eases it down over her perfect, naked figure. She doesn’t button the front, leaving the garment to hang open from her navel upward.
“Did Stephanie throw herself at you?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“So you seduced her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why is her dress here? Did she leave in her underwear?”
“No, she stayed for a few nights. She brought clothing with her. She spilled red wine on the dress and I put it in the washing machine and she left without getting it.”
“She didn’t come back for it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“It had something to do with obscene substance abuse, mood swings, weird, unintelligible ramblings and bizarre bursts of midnight affection.”
“Sounds like she was a handful.”
“I was talking about me.”
“But women worship you. It must take more than that to scare them away.”
“They don’t see me as a suitor. I’m more of an other-worldly experience.”
“And now Stephanie is dead?”
“You’re not exactly a vessel of optimism, are you?”
“What was the sex like with her?”
“Good.”
“Did you fuck her with passion?”
“Those words are mutually exclusive.”
Natalie looks at the dress, running her hands down her torso, feeling the material. Trying to extract its memories. “Did Stephanie wear this dress while you fucked her?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“So she didn’t even get to take it off?”
“No.”
“Why?” asks Natalie.
“Because the dress turned me on,” I reply. “Because I was more aroused when she was wearing it.”
“Did she like that?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“What look did she have in her eyes?”
“Pain. Pleasure and pain.”
“And she liked that?”
“She didn’t ask me to be rough with her, but she never stopped me. She stayed for three days.”
“You didn’t try to romance her? To love her?”
“I thought we were talking about sex.”
Natalie picks up the newspaper from the bed, still open on the page of photos. She points to the picture of Stephanie, her voice still calm. “So when you saw this photo of her in the paper, you didn’t know immediately that you were somehow connected?”
“She works at the record label that my band are signed with. So, yes. I was aware of a connection.”
“Why wouldn’t you go to the police?”
I stand up and take a step toward Natalie. She stands her ground. When I take another step toward her, she moves away slightly. Back towards her reflection in the wardrobe's doors.
“What would I tell them? ‘Hi guys, just wanted to let you know that I’ve had sex with this missing girl. She stayed at my apartment not long before she disappeared. If it’s any help, I’ve still got her dress. It’s in a suitcase along with many other items of clothing, which probably belong to other missing girls that you’re looking for. I can’t give you any information that would lead to her whereabouts, but I thought I should just come forward and suggest that you look at me as a suspect.’”
Natalie smiles. “But you’re innocent, so you should have nothing to fear. You’ve become a suspect anyway.”
“Joke’s on me, huh?”
“You’re not hiding something?”
I take another step toward her. Natalie steps away. Her fist that holds the newspaper tenses, crumpling the paper.
“Nothing to hide,” I say. I step forward again and Natalie leans back against the glass surface of the built-ins, unable to move any further. I’m almost pressed against her.
“What did the DNA test really say?” asks Natalie, probing me. Pushing me.
“It said that I can’t trust you.”
Natalie looks away. Something crosses her face and I wonder if it’s fear. She remains defiant.
“I betrayed your trust,” says Natalie, taking a deep breath. There’s a heavy silence between us, before I push my hand underneath the dress, between her legs.
Natalie drops the newspaper and for the next half an hour I’m anything but gentle with her.
Chapter Nine
I dream that my escape pod is visible from Earth, as I move further away. I’m a prick in the solar system. The black eternal darkness is the only constant. The light of stars appears and fades away. But the black will never be extinguished. If the stars live forever, infinitely hanging in time, then every line of sight would contain one. If their light travelled forever, then the night sky would glow brighter than the sun. A star everywhere you look. But here, in my place among the stars, I take comfort that I am not the only one that is going to die. We all will.
I will ultimately share the fate of my two crew mates. The span of time in which it matters whether I made the right decision will cease. It has an end point.
Chapter Ten
I haven’t slept soundly. I’ve been lying in that scattered, half-awake delirious state, where my thoughts bounce back and forth like a bird in a cage. No exit. When I reach out an arm, I already know Natalie isn’t there. I think I remember her leaving. Maybe I don’t. But now my bed is large and empty again. Night has barely fallen.
I lean over and switch on my bedside lamp. The suitcase of clothing, which had been left near the foot of the bed, has vanished. It seems Natalie has taken my trinkets. It’s a fairly damning piece of evidence to lose. However, when I sit up further, I notice a colourful item draped over the end of the bed. It’s the patterned dress. Stephanie’s dress. Natalie has left it. It is almost certainly riddled with Natalie’s DNA, and some of mine too. She’s left it deliberately. Perhaps as a sign of good faith? It links her to me and perhaps any wrong doing on my behalf. Not that I’ve done anything wrong. This is Natalie’s token gesture.
I’m not sure when I’ll see Natalie again. I ex
pect she’s someone that comes and goes as she pleases. Nobody owns her and nobody tells her what to do. Her role in my life has the potential to become like a twenty-four hour virus. She’ll appear when I lease expect it and probably at the most inconvenient time. Nevertheless, I am very taken by her. She’s devastatingly attractive and far more mysterious than what I am typically comfortable with. I wish she was still here and I hope she returns.
I get out of bed and take a shower. The steam envelops me and for a minute I feel better. But my head is still buzzing from the drugs and my stomach is beginning to turn on me. My thoughts return to the missing girls. I’m so scattered that they had actually skipped my mind. But my concern has reached a level that I can no longer ignore. So I need to devise a plan of action that is both proactive and won’t risk my persona.
Something tells me that Rose is next. If the girls were disappearing in chronological order she would already be gone. If there are sinister hands snatching my liaisons, then girls have been taken for far less than what Rose has done. She must be in danger. A small voice whispers it and once the thought announces itself, it doesn’t go away. It echoes around the yellowed walls of my skull. Whether I should trust it or not is a different question. Not all of my inner thinkings lead me in the right direction.
If I am to investigate, I need to avoid the police. Let my management take care of them. They get a percentage of everything, so I feel it’s their duty to buy me some time. I’ll hide up here in my tower, like a herd of cattle crammed in the shadow of a lone tree. I need to steer clear of that boiling paddock and wait until things cool down.
I go to the kitchen and start washing down painkillers. A few downers should slow my mind. But then I hear a knock. Someone at the door. I step very quietly over to the peephole and peer through. There’s nobody there. This can only mean one thing. I open the door.
“Mr Roeg,” I say. “Hi.”
“Jack, how are you?” he smiles, his small pointed teeth spread in greeting.
“A little tired,” I reply. “Stressed even.”
“Oh,” says Mr Roeg. “Well, I don’t mean to stress you further… but there’s some policemen downstairs that are asking about you.”
“Really?”
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