Enormity

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Enormity Page 50

by Nick Milligan


  “A spy?” she asks.

  “Yes. A secret operative. You’re occupation.”

  Natalie nods. “Well, yes, I guess I will.”

  “And I’ll just be another job.”

  Natalie laughs. “We won’t ever have another job like you.” There’s a pause and she adds, “Will you still want to see me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” she says, a familiar glimmer in her eyes. “I’d hate for you to view me as just your captor.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I smile. “I’m happy I’ll be getting through this with you by my side.”

  “I promise I will be with you every step of the way.”

  “It seems hard to believe that the government would just allow me to return to society… knowing what I am.”

  “We want your sanctuary on our planet to continue,” says Natalie. “Fate delivered you to us. We want nothing but an ongoing peaceful relationship.”

  “I believe you,” I say. “That seems to be true of most people here. Blind belief. Blind trust. A blind desire for peace.”

  “It’s not blind,” replies Natalie. “Quite the opposite.”

  “Everywhere I look there is peace and love engrained in everyone. There’s so few exceptions. It feels more foreign to me than anything else I’ve seen here.”

  Natalie looks bemused. “Jack, you witnessed the most extreme, heinous crime in recent history. What Martin Brannagh did is unheard of.”

  “That’s my point,” I say. “What Brannagh did is the darkest point in your history since I have been here. Besides him and his followers, there’s no malice in anyone. Look how easily Marty misled people. He was able to casually fool innocents into believing his twisted… ideas. Into executing others. I can’t condemn anyone that believed him. Everyone here is just too… naïve. You’re all just… babes in the woods.”

  “I have to say, Jack, I find your response to this fascinating.”

  “Why?”

  “You can attest to how evil Brannagh is and you can show compassion and forgiveness for his followers, yet you saw fit to kill him.”

  “Arachnids saw fit to kill him.”

  “You’re treating me like a fool,” says Natalie. “I need you to be honest with me.”

  “You act like this is a private conversation,” I say, looking at the small radio in her ear.

  “Why did he have to die? Is that the values of Earth?”

  “Perhaps. It’s an Earthly sense of justice. He butchered those people, as if he were pulling the wings off flies. As he was dying, he experienced what it is to be helpless. To be vulnerable. He still showed no remorse. So he received a punishment that was… symbolic.”

  “On this planet Jack, that way of thinking is... not considered natural.”

  “Really?”

  “If you believe the scriptures, then it’s evil to think that way. It was the behaviour of the Fallen One. Our society lives by forgiveness.”

  “So you don’t believe in an eye for an eye?”

  Natalie shakes her head.

  “That doesn’t make sense to you?”

  “It’s an archaic ideology.”

  “I admire that,” I say. “And for what it’s worth, I’m not proud of what I did. I don’t want you to think of me as an animal.”

  “We don’t think you’re evil. We just want to learn more about you.”

  “I hope you find something useful,” I say, wryly.

  “We already have. Resuscitation, as you call it. We can save lives. Our medical researchers would like to speak to you about how you did it. They’ve seen the video and they think it’s fascinating.”

  “I’m only too happy to help.” I cast my gaze back at the ocean. “Can I ask you a hypothetical?”

  “Of course.”

  “If someone from Earth did come to retrieve me, and there was an opportunity for you to come with me… would you consider it?”

  “To go to Earth with you?” asks Natalie.

  “You could study another race of people.”

  “Yes, but my study wouldn’t mean much if I couldn’t come home.”

  “Okay,” I say, “what if you could return to Earth with me, study my planet and then I could bring you back. Would you come then?”

  “Why are you asking me this?” asks Natalie.

  “Because… some day they might come for me,” I reply.

  “You think there’s a chance they might?”

  “Yes,” I say, turning back to her, nodding.

  “Well,” says Natalie, choosing her words carefully. “If that scenario occurred, and I could be brought home some day, then yes… I think that would be… life changing. I would love to go with you.”

  “When can we be alone again?” I ask.

  “Only when this is over.”

  Rose arrives for work to find Zunge Bohne strangely quiet for this time of morning. I’m sitting at a table in the centre of the café and I hear her enter the back door. Her careful steps echo from the kitchen.

  “Hello?” I hear her call. “Anyone here?”

  Rose steps through the swing gate and appears behind the counter. She sees me sitting in the deserted café and I smile at her.

  “Care to join me?” I ask across the empty tables.

  Rose returns my smile and shakes her head. “I shouldn’t be surprised by this should I. It’s just one of those grand, sweeping gestures that only the wealthy can afford.”

  “Are you being cruel?” I ask.

  “This is one of our busiest mornings,” says Rose, stepping around the counter toward me. “How much did you pay my boss to get him to stay closed?”

  “Quite a lot.”

  “Why?”

  “I wanted you to myself.”

  “Right,” says Rose, walking between the tables until she arrives at mine and sits down. “So are you going to tell me what really happened to Martin Brannagh?”

  “In what sense?”

  “The television said he had a heart attack.”

  “You don’t believe that?”

  “Tell me what’s going on,” Rose says, agitation at the edges of her voice.

  “I will,” I reply. “But first we need a drink. Something with caffeine.”

  “I don’t want one.”

  “Well I’m going to make myself one. I can easily make two,” I offer, standing up and walking over to the coffee machine behind the counter.

  “Fine,” relents Rose. “Do you even know how to use that?”

  “I’m sure I can work it out.” Rose waits patiently while I attempt to brew a pot of coffee. “Do you want it sweetened?” I call out.

  “A little.”

  I take two mugs from an adjacent shelf and return to the table. I then pour us both a coffee. Rose gently blows on hers before tasting it.

  “Verdict?” I ask.

  “Undrinkable.”

  “Ouch.”

  “I could have said worse,” smiles Rose.

  “When critiquing a beverage, what description is worse than ‘undrinkable’?”

  “I could have insinuated that you deliberately made it terrible… as a means to offend me.”

  “Ah, intent. Yes, I suppose that is worse.”

  “So, are we going to talk about drinks all day or are you going to tell me what this is all about? What happened to The Discipline?”

  “All taken care of,” I smile, confidently.

  “Really? How?”

  “There was… a government investigation. Some people have been arrested. Justice has been served.”

  “Does it have anything to do with Brannagh’s death?”

  “No,” I say, firmly. “That’s an entirely separate tragedy. No connection whatsoever.”

  Rose isn’t convinced. “Why did you come here if you’re not going to give me any answers?”

  “I’m here because… I have some news.”

  “Yes?”

  I reach out and take Rose’s hand in my own. “I have to go
away for a while.”

  “Go away?”

  “Yes,” I say. “I’m not well. My doctors have told me that if I don’t engage in a healthier lifestyle, then I might not be around much longer.”

  “Oh,” says Rose, a look of concern on her face. “Well, I suppose you do… celebrate… with some regularity.”

  “I celebrate a lot… but the frivolity has to stop. I’m ruining my voice and I’m addicted to a range of indulgences.”

  “How long do you have to go for?”

  “As long as it takes. It could be quite a long time.”

  Rose absorbs this information. She attempts to maintain a calm exterior. But I know she cares about me. She is going to miss me a great deal. I, without question, am going to miss her too. But circumstance won’t permit us to be together. I need to spare Rose. I need to protect her by pushing her away.

  “Will you find me when you come back?”

  “Don’t wait for me,” I reply. “Finish your studies and start your life. I care about you a lot, but it’s irresponsible of me to promise you anything.” Rose just nods, her exterior now decidedly sullen. “I need to get a lot of things sorted out,” I continue. “At the moment I’m only damaging everything around me. Please understand that I care about you a great deal.”

  “I understand.”

  I gently squeeze her hand. “Now, are you ready for some good news?”

  “Definitely,” she replies.

  I release her from my grasp, reach into my jeans pocket and then hand her the envelope. “This is for you.”

  Rose opens it, removing the folded documents. She scans the top page. “What is this?”

  “It’s an entitlement.”

  “An entitlement for what?”

  “For this café.”

  “You bought the café?” she asks.

  “Very temporarily. I have had it signed into your name.”

  “That’s crazy,” she says, shaking her head.

  “I know you’re studying, but you know how this place operates. You can live off the profits. Or just sell it if it becomes too much trouble.”

  “Jack, I can’t accept it,” says Rose. “It’s too much.”

  “Then sell it and give it to charity,” I smile. “But it’s yours now. I’m not taking it back.”

  “Jack… I…” says Rose, flipping through the entitlement. “It’s too much, way too much.”

  “Think of it as my attempt to bribe you into forgiving me,” I smile.

  “How else could I possibly think of it?”

  “You deserve it,” I say. “You’re a gentle, good person and I care about you and I wanted to give you this gift. Please accept it.”

  Rose stands and moves towards me. I slide my chair away from the table and she lifts a leg, straddling my lap. She sits and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling my mouth against hers. She kisses me strongly, as if force can make us one. “Don’t go,” she whispers near my ear, still gripping the entitlement. “Please…”

  “I have to,” I reply, holding her tightly against me, her hair soft against my lips. “For everyone’s sake, I have to go. One day you’ll understand.”

  I knock on Laurie’s door and wait. I can’t hear anything. Natalie is standing in the entrance of my apartment, watching and listening. She acknowledges my request for privacy, but has been instructed to not allow me to leave her sight.

  A lock clicks, slow and deep, and the door opens ajar. Laurie’s mother is peering out.

  “Is Laurie home?” I ask.

  She says nothing, just staring at me. Then she quietly responds, “Who?”

  “Laurie,” I say. “I need to see her.”

  Laurie’s mother eyes me then glances over my shoulder at Natalie. Her brow furrows.

  “I don’t know who you’re talking about,” she says. “There’s no one here with that name.”

  “Sorry, but I don’t have time for this,” I say, reaching out to push the door open further.

  Laurie’s mother slams it shut, the forced air hitting me in the chest. I glance back at Natalie and raise my eyebrows, giving a meek smile. I then knock on the door again. No one answers it.

  “Did you upset someone, Jack?” asks Natalie.

  “Seems unlikely,” I shrug. “People fucking love me.”

  “Well we can’t really wait any longer,” she says. “They’re expecting us.”

  I sigh, deciding whether to knock again. I would like to see Laurie before I go, but I don’t want Natalie to know about the secret growing inside her. I swallow my rising frustration. From my pocket I pull an envelope with Laurie’s name on it. I slide it under the door. Inside is the entitlement for my apartment.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  “They had better keep their distance,” I say from the passenger seat, looking through the rear window of our big black government issue four-wheel-drive. We’re hurtling through the hot desert, clouds of orange dust bursting from our tires.

  “Why do you care so much, Jack? It’s just the two of us here. They only want to follow to make sure you arrive safely,” says Natalie, her hands on the wheel, a pair of reflective aviator glasses balanced on her perfect nose. In her right ear is a small communication device, through which she can speak and hear her superiors.

  I don’t answer her question. I look down at the four suitcases on the back seat. One is Natalie’s. The other three are mine. I also have a backpack sitting at my feet. I just hope I’ve brought everything I have to. God knows I’ve had long enough to prepare. But I’d convinced myself that this day wouldn’t come. That was naïve.

  “You sure brought a lot of clothes,” says Natalie. I see her glance down at the backpack at my feet, which does contain a few garments. “I hate to break it to you, rock star, but you won’t get much opportunity to dress up.”

  “Is that right?”

  “We’ve got a really sexy array of gowns for you to wear.”

  “Gowns, huh.”

  “I picked them out myself. You’re going to be the hottest guest we’ve had at the facility since it was built.”

  “Is that because I’m the only guest?”

  Natalie smiles. The long shimmering stretch of road dances on her sunglasses. “No, we’ve had other guests.”

  “Like who?”

  “We’ve been looking for you for a long time. There have been a few cases of… mistaken identity.”

  “Sounds ominous.”

  “No harm has come to anyone. We just, well, we thought we’d found you a number of times. But they all turned out to be vagrants. Nothing more.”

  “I’m glad you had such high expectations.”

  Natalie smiles. “You’re just lucky that old priest you met after you landed doesn’t watch television or listen to music.”

  “Really? He seemed like such a trashbag.”

  “I showed him a photo of you. He remembered you. He identified you.”

  “He ratted me out? You said he just reported the raft. Now I regret sending him that fruit basket.”

  “Don’t be mean. He’s a nice old man. He told me that you were a very gentle spirit. He knew something was different about you, but he wasn’t afraid. God told him to not be afraid of you.”

  “God would say that,” I say, looking out my window, my dark Wayfarer-style sunglasses protecting my eyes from the glare. “He’s probably saving me for himself.”

  We drive for another hour, making idle chitchat. With every new minute, as we rocket further into destiny, my stomach winds tighter and tighter. The twisted fist of anticipation and sadness forms around my insides and I can’t help but think about how much I’m going to miss so many people. Especially Rose and Laurie.

  The road ahead of us is desolate. The horizon ripples like sparkling water. I glance back through the rear windshield and I don’t see anyone following us. Then I feel a vibration in my pocket. Something buzzing against my thigh.

  “We need to pull over,” I say. “I feel the call of nature.”

&nb
sp; “Really?” asks Natalie. “You can’t wait?”

  “Absolutely not,” I say. “This is definitely an emergency situation.”

  Natalie grimaces and slows the vehicle. She eases off the side of the road and more plumes of orange dust fly up around the car. The desert’s surface crunches beneath us.

  I open my door, grabbing my backpack with one hand. Before Natalie realises my next move, I’m out of the car, throwing my backpack on and opening a rear door, snatching my suitcases under each arm and in a spare hand. I depart with fast steps. Natalie exits and sees me with my bags, escaping.

  “Jack!” she yells. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “Sorry, Natalie,” I call, without looking back. “I’ve got to go.”

  I hear her feet move behind me. When she catches up, she’s pointing a tranquiliser gun at the side of my head. “This is far from fucking funny,” she says.

  I can tell she’s angry. I stop walking and put my bags down. “I’m sorry,” I say.

  “What the fuck are you playing at?” asks Natalie. She puts a hand to her ear, listening to the small device. She talks to them. “Everything’s fine. Just hold back,” she says sternly. Then to me she barks, “Are you going to get me fired, Jack? Is that what you’re trying to do? I can’t believe you would fuck around like this.”

  The box in my pocket starts vibrating again. I move to grab it.

  “Keep your hands where I can see them!” yells Natalie, stepping in front of me and pushing the gun into my chest.

  “I’m getting a phone call,” I say, calmly. “I really need to answer it.”

  “No,” says Natalie, shaking her head. I see a look of sadness cross her face, even from behind her sunglasses, as her mind starts to work out what’s happening.

  I slowly reach for the small black box and then bring it to my ear. “Copy.”

  An eager, deep male voice says, “This is O’Connor. Ready for extraction?”

  “I couldn’t be more ready,” I reply.

  “We’ve picked up your location. We’re only two minutes away, buddy. Get that flare off.”

  “Roger,” I say. I put the phone back in my pocket. Then I start to kneel down and reach for the backpack.

  “Stand up!” yells Natalie. “I’m three seconds away from shooting you with this thing.”

 

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