by Nancy Isaak
Tears formed immediately in Jude’s eyes. She wiped at them, furiously. “Dammit!”
As her hand reached for the cookies she’d just put down, I grabbed at them and shoved them both into my own mouth.
“Not-gon-let-u-dwit!” I mumbled, between bites.
Jude whacked me again.
This time…it was worth it.
* * * *
Sometime between my checking on Jude and the rest of the Locals returning to the ballroom—Jacob had disappeared, slinking off into the dark without a word to anybody. Feeling disheartened, I helped Sophia and two of her food-line guys clean up the ballroom, then slowly made my way up to Jacob’s and my rooms.
In truth, I had expected him to be absent—most likely out wandering the Point—so it came as a complete surprise when I opened our bathroom door and discovered Jacob pouring a large pail of hot water into the bathtub.
“Great!” he said, upon seeing me. “Your timing is perfect. I just finished warming up the last pail.”
“You heated up a bath for me?” I asked, truly touched.
He looked down at his feet, shyly. “I was, uh…kind of hoping…like it would be for both of us.”
“Separately…or together?”
Jacob shrugged; then he tilted his head up just enough, so that his ice-blue eyes were visible between thick, black lashes. “Your choice.”
Was there really any doubt?
* * * *
There was a certain awe to loving someone like Jacob.
For me—he was the ideal boy; his blue eyes and handsome face a gentle perfection that sent soft flutters throughout my body.
When Jacob smiled, my world lit up.
When he was sad, depressed—that world began to fail.
And when I laid in bed that night and felt his naked body pressed against mine—when he lifted up his head, his brown bangs falling down over one eye—when he dipped his face so his lips could graze my neck, my lips, the curve of my breast—
—I sighed.
This was my home—when we came together like this—he was my Jacob.
God, but I had missed him…missed this.
* * * *
Just before dawn—after hours of getting to know each other again—we sat in our bed, leaning against the headboard, and looked through the sketchbook of Cherry’s drawings of our wedding.
“They’re so amazing, aren’t they?” I said. “Like I can’t believe these drawings look so lifelike. Look at this one of us eating cake together…and this one where you’re talking to Kieran and Rhys.”
“She was a great artist,” said Jacob, quietly.
I stopped turning the pages and looked at him, shocked. “Don’t do that!”
“Don’t do what?”
“It’s just…well…you used the past tense…like you think Cherry is dead.”
For a moment, I saw a darkness come over Jacob. I immediately regretted my words, wanting us to remain in the afterglow of our love.
Then, the darkness suddenly lifted and Jacob smiled at me.
“You’re right,” he said, brightly. “Of course.”
But there was something off in the way Jacob said it—like he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear. Ignoring my suspicious look, he quickly put the sketchbook down, reached into the drawer of his night-table, and pulled out a small snow globe.
“It’s for you,” he said, shoving it into my hands. “I thought you might like it.”
“That’s beautiful, Jacob.” Inside the snow globe was a miniature Eiffel Tower. “Thank you…where did you find it?”
“Oh—um…I scavenged it out of one of the houses on the Point.”
Only—he was lying.
I knew because he’d had the snow globe on him when he’d come back from the expedition. When he had needed to be undressed in the Medical Clinic, I had been the one who had done it.
And the snow globe had been in his pocket.
I had placed it back where I had found it, telling no one of its existence—just in case Jacob had wanted it to be a surprise.
Now, his actions were making me wonder—why would he lie…and what did it mean?
* * * *
We had finally fallen asleep in each other’s arms, just before dawn. When I rose alone a few hours later, I eventually discovered Jacob in the walk-in closet. He was shoving on his boots—grunting with each push, as if he was angry about something. When he heard me at the door, Jacob looked up—and for the tiniest of moments—his anger seemed to be directed at me.
Then, his eyes went down toward the floor, his face became blank—and my Jacob disappeared once more.
“You okay?” I asked, warily.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Breakfast.”
“But well…I thought maybe, like we could go together,” I suggested.
“You were sleeping.”
“I’m not now.”
He stopped trying to force his foot into his boot and looked up at me again. I could read nothing on his face.
Jacob simply waited.
“What’s wrong?” I finally asked.
“Why should anything be wrong?” he shrugged. “I thought we had a good time last night.”
“A good time?”
Why did those words hurt me so much?
“I enjoyed myself…didn’t you?” Jacob returned to his boot, finally managing to pull it up over his foot. He stood up immediately, wiped his hands on his jeans, then walked through the door—turning sideways as he passed, so that he wouldn’t have to touch me. “I’ll be at breakfast.”
For a moment, I considered just letting him go; then I reached out and clutched at his arm. He jumped back and pulled away immediately—as if I had burned him.
“Jacob…what the hell?!”
“I’m just trying to go get breakfast,” he barked at me. “Do you have to make such a big thing about it?”
“Apparently, I do,” I snapped back, becoming angry myself. “Because I guess I’m getting tired of all this emo self-absorbed on/off crap! Like seriously, Jacob…what the hell is going on with you?!”
He narrowed his eyes at me, but said nothing.
“Oh, great,” I groaned, throwing my hands up in the air. “Like now I get the silent treatment. Like I don’t get enough bullshit every day, just dealing with the Council!”
If anything, Jacob looked even angrier. “I thought you liked being Mother.”
“Wh-what?”
His eyes narrowed; his expression became mean. “Because you sure seemed to enjoy that little tribute they put on for you last night…the sainted Mother saving the Point…killing the bad guys, showing everyone how it’s done.”
“That’s what this is about?” I asked—stunned and a little baffled. “About my leading the tribe?!” He didn’t answer, but the look on his face showed that I was on the right track. “Jacob, you were the one who wanted me to take over the leadership for you in the first place. I didn’t even want to do it. And now you’re blaming me because I did a good job?!”
“No!” he suddenly yelled. “I’m blaming me, because I didn’t!” Tears of frustration and fury formed in Jacob’s eyes. He waved a finger in front of my face. “You freaking saved your people, Kaylee—while I killed mine!”
“But that’s not true,” I insisted. “At least, not really—not like the way you’re saying it. Jacob, there are over two dozen crosses out in that Nature Preserve and, as far as I’m concerned, I’m responsible for each and every one of those deaths.”
His face turned ugly; he growled at me. “Then, how come you don’t act like it?”
That stung deeply…how dare he?!
I felt myself becoming angry—furious. After all that I’d gone through while he was missing—the hours spent waiting for him up on the knoll, the constant tears, the frustrations, the knot of horror and dread that I had carried from the moment Jacob and his team had ridden away from the Point.
; And now he would dare question my commitment to this tribe, to him…to my grief.
Deeply hurt, it was my turn to lash out.
“You want to know why I don’t act the way you think I should,” I hissed. “It’s because I’m not that weak.”
Shocked by my response, Jacob turned on his heel and walked out.
I didn’t stop him.
SEPTEMBER
KAYLEE
I don’t understand where it all went wrong.
One moment, Jacob and I were in each other’s arms—the next, he’s walking out on me. I keep thinking that it can’t get any worse, but then it does…over and over.
If only I knew what to do to make it all better.
Because I still love Jacob.
And, even though I think that he might not love me anymore, I love him so much that it’s killing me to have us be like this.
Angry, distant…unhappy.
* * * *
“It just makes me think of my mom and dad, you know. Like how they were acting just before they separated.”
“But that was different. Your dad was hooking up with the Boob Bimbo,” said Jude. “Unless…you don’t think that Jacob is cheating on you, do you?”
I quickly shook my head. “No. I think it’s something else…more internal, emotional. Like from when you guys came back from the expedition. He just hasn’t gotten over it, you know…all the bad stuff that happened.”
“Yeah,” nodded Jude. “Kid’s been weird ever since, no doubt.”
We were walking together toward the food line. The trumpet announcing breakfast had sounded a few minutes ago and Jude and I had met up out front of the mansion. I had needed a shoulder to cry on and Jude—unfortunately for her—was the first friendly one that I had come across.
“And he doesn’t talk to me anymore,” I added. “Like not really. And my mom always says that it was when my dad stopped talking to her…like that was the moment she should have known her marriage was ending.”
“Jacob’s never been a big talker.”
“It’s like half of me just wants to run up to him and beg him to forgive whatever it is he thinks he did…or that I did. To take me back, you know.”
“And the other half?”
It was my turn to shrug. “The other half simply can’t.”
“Because you’re a leader now,” Jude nodded.
“Pardon?” I stopped walking and turned to Jude, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Dude, you’re the boss now. And you may not want to be, but that’s exactly what you are. Which means that you don’t run after guys anymore—not even Jacob—and especially not to apologize. If he wants to be with you then, seriously, Jacob has to either walk beside you, follow close behind…or get the hell out of your way.”
I didn’t have a chance to respond, because Erroll suddenly walked up and joined us. He was carrying a large machete, which he tucked into a sheath at his belt.
“Compensating?” asked Jude, nodding toward the machete.
Erroll tapped his finger against the weapon. “Complimenting,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “But you’re welcome to take a peek if you want to, just to make sure I’m not lying.”
Jude burst out laughing. “Like in your dreams, bro.”
“Absolutely,” was Erroll’s quick response.
Well what did you know? Erroll and Jude liked each other.
* * * *
“The sentries down near Paradise had someone taking potshots at them last night,” Erroll reported to me.
“Anybody get hurt?”
He shook his head. “Didn’t get even close. The guys are thinking it was just to annoy them, maybe make them use up their ammo, that kind of thing.”
“Did they take the bait…shoot back?”
“Nah, they stayed cool. But it might be wise to put a Raider up on the hill across from the sentry point. Maybe take down the Crazies if they come calling again in the next few days.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said. “Have Rhys set something up.”
Erroll nodded. “Also, Kieran went up into the Valley this morning.”
“I thought he was going to leave after breakfast.”
“He went up just before sunrise.”
“Did he take a horse?”
“He’s on foot. Kieran thought that, with all the Crazies wandering through these hills, it would probably be smarter if he went up silent.”
“That makes sense,” I agreed. “When is he coming back?”
“Probably this evening, tomorrow at the latest. He just went to meet up with Josh, get the latest on what’s happening in the Valley.”
“Well, make sure that he reports to me as soon as he returns. And one more thing—I want a list of every guy and girl in the tribe who has sailing experience and I want it soonest.”
I thought this might confuse Erroll, but he merely nodded and wrote it into a small notebook that he carried in one pocket. “You thinking of taking us across to Catalina?”
“Catalina?” exclaimed Jude. “What the hell would we be going to Catalina for?”
“In case we need to evacuate,” I told her. “Like if the Crazies come again, we’ll need someplace to head for and Catalina Island seems the best place right now. It’s far enough across the strait to make it difficult for anyone to follow us…but not that far away that we couldn’t get everyone there in a couple of hours if we’re prepared.”
Jude looked nauseous at the idea. “You seen the size of the waves between here and there? Like seriously—couldn’t we just hike it up to Oxnard or something?”
Chuckling, Erroll turned to me and held up his notepad. “I’ll start with having a word with Porter at breakfast. See what sailors he’s got listed in that ledger of his.” Then—with an amused nod to Jude—he turned and walked away.
“I think Erroll likes you,” I told Jude.
The worried frown on Jude’s face suddenly disappeared. She gazed after Erroll, watching him move in the direction of the Medical Clinic.
“Dude’s got some guns on him,” she admitted.
“So, you like him, too?” I asked.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well, it’s just that Erroll’s, like a really good guy, you know,” I continued. “I didn’t get to know him well until the battle with the Crazies but, now…he’s like a big brother or something. Don’t really know what it is, but I’ve just come to really respect him, to rely on him. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’d be a good guy to like.”
“Maybe you’re the one who’s liking him,” teased Jude.
I shook my head. “Not a chance—not in that way, at least. There’s only one guy in my life and Erroll knows that…even if right now Jacob is being a…”
“…dumbass.” Jude finished for me.
“Well, I was going to go with pain in the butt, but dumbass works just fine, too.”
* * * *
Because of my position as leader of the Locals, I could easily have pushed my way to the front of the food line. Instead, I stood beside Jude at the back, waiting patiently as my tribemates slowly moved forward.
It was entertaining to some extent.
Ethan, Wester, and Sandeep were just in front of us and they were hilarious to watch. They were standing behind Nate and Xavier—jostling each other—annoying the older boys with pokes and bumps.
At one point, Wester shoved Xavier, causing him to fall forward into the guy in front of him. Kanga, who had been seated on Xavier’s shoulder, immediately jumped across to Nate’s.
“Careful!” Nate warned the boys. “I wouldn’t poke the tiger if I were you.”
Taking that as a challenge, Wester lifted his finger and poked it at Kanga. With a hiss and an arching of his back, Kanga snaked out a paw lightning-fast.
“Ouch!” Wester wrenched his finger back; it was covered with three long scratches, all dripping blood.
“Not like you weren’t warned,” chuckled Nate.
<
br /> Beside Wester, Sandeep burst into laughter. “This is how you do it, dummy,” he taunted. Then, he reached into a pocket and pulled out a cat treat. “Here you go, Kanga.”
He placed the treat on Nate’s shoulder, just in front of the calico’s head. As he did, Kanga thrust out his claws once more, this time drawing Sandeep’s blood.
“Demon cat!” Sandeep leapt back, clutching his hand, causing Nate to shake his head, while Xavier, Wester, and Ethan roared with laughter.
Meanwhile, the line moved ahead a few places. We had now reached the cereal table, where boxes of Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies sat next to cartons of soy and rice milk and one large platter of sliced oranges.
“Selection is getting pretty sparse,” Jude commented.
I picked up one of the boxes and looked at the Best Buy date on the bottom. “Six months past,” I said, taking a sniff of the contents. “Smells okay, though.”
In front of me, Nate was already pouring Corn Flakes into a bowl. “Sophia said we’re down to the last of our fake milk, too,” he told us. “She said she wants to get a cow.”
“That’s a great idea,” I admitted. “We should find some chickens, too. Then, we could have omelets for breakfast.”
“And cheese,” added Jude.
We all stopped what we were doing for a moment to consider that…cheese.
Without a doubt—we all missed cheese.
* * * *
“Look who’s coming,” whispered Jude.
I turned to see Jay and Porter walking toward us; they were engrossed in some deep conversation.
And they were holding hands!
Jude immediately began whistling the ‘Jay and Porter sitting in a tree’ rhyme.
“K-i-s-s-i-n-g!” added Ethan, loudly.
Almost as one, Jay and Porter looked up and realized that we were all staring at them. Immediately, they dropped each other’s hand—their cheeks burning red with embarrassment as they fell into the line behind us.
“Ooo!” teased Jude. “We are definitely going to get some cute caramel-babies from you two!”