by Ike Hamill
“Tim?” Ashley called, cupping her hands around her mouth and spinning to find him. She imagined that he had gotten up to relieve himself, or start the fire, or maybe even bathe in the cold stream.
“Penny!” Lisa called. “Don’t run off.”
“Where did she go?”
“Up to where we left the bikes. Where’s Tim?”
Ashley only shrugged.
They searched around, mystified, until Lisa walked up the hill to call Penny again. At the place on the road where they had left the bikes, Lisa yelled back down.
“He’s gone.”
Ashley ran to see.
His bike was gone. That was when Ashley finally realized what she should have noted earlier—his pack was missing from his tent. Lisa found a note tucked under the brake cable of her bike.
She read it aloud.
“Lisa and Ashley—I can’t stop thinking about what happened to me on the road before, and how I nearly hurt you two and Penny. I had a weird feeling yesterday, and I can’t bear the thought of it happening again. I’ll take a different route and meet you in Donnelly, if I can. Sorry to burden you with Penny. I love her too much to leave her fate up in the air. I know you’ll take care of her.”
“That’s absurd,” Ashley said. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled again. “Tim! Tim, come back!”
“Save it,” Lisa said. “He’s gone.”
“Why would he think that? He has been fine for days and days.”
“Weird feeling, he says.” Lisa folded the paper and handed it to Ashley. “I understand. Better safe than sorry.”
“All that way on his own. You think he’ll make it?”
“No,” Lisa said.
“We have to go find him. I understand why he thought he should travel separately, but he was wrong. We should find him and convince him that we’re not going to leave him behind.”
“Honey,” Lisa said. “Read the note again. You’re not seeing it for what it is.”
Confused and a little ticked off, Ashley did as she was told. Lisa’s tone had sounded condescending, and Ashley hated feeling like she was out of the loop.
“It’s the first line,” Lisa said. “The last one, too, but mostly the first one.”
“Yeah?”
“This is his way of saying goodbye to the world.”
“Then why would he bother to say that he will meet us in Donnelly?”
“Because that gives us a perfectly valid reason to keep on going. If he didn’t say that, we would be obligated to go out and look for him—to try to stop him. Instead, he’s telling us to keep going.”
“No,” Ashley said. “I don’t care what he wants. You wanted to walk off, too. We didn’t let you. We made sure that you kept going, and now you’re fine.”
Lisa nodded. “If we had realized before he got a head start, I would agree. He might have left hours ago. He could be twenty miles from here. How would we find him?”
On foot, they might be able to catch him with Penny’s help. On a bicycle, they had no hope. And if Lisa was right, it might already be too late. Ashley’s shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Come on. We have to strike the tent and get out of here,” Lisa said. “It’s the only way I’m going to get my legs warmed up.”
Lisa started back down toward the tents while Ashley stood there. Penny was still sniffing around the bikes, probably wondering where Tim had gone. Maybe she knew.
“Come on, Ashley,” Lisa said. “We have to at least respect the idea in that note. If he did lose control we don’t want to be standing around here waiting for him to come back.”
That idea got Ashley’s feet moving.
They stuck close together. Even when her heavy bike wanted to pull past Lisa, Ashley tucked in behind and controlled her speed. Going up hills, they rode side by side and struggled through. It was the flat sections where Ashley’s mind would wander. She kept picturing Tim dangling from a noose with bulging eyes and stretched neck.
“Why did they do it?” Ashley asked.
“Why did who do what?”
The question had been so heavy in her mind that Ashley had assumed it wouldn’t need any context.
“I heard that after the churn a bunch of people committed suicide. Why did they do it?”
They pedaled for a while before Lisa even tried to answer.
Finally, Lisa sighed and stopped pedaling.
“I need a break,” she said.
Ashley allowed her bike to coast to a stop as well. Penny jumped out immediately and began to sniff around. They propped their bikes against a guardrail and sat down in the shade.
“This is really a question for your father. Given the circumstances, I’m sure he will understand.”
Lisa looked up at the sky. Ashley handed her a bag of nuts from her pack. Lisa took them and chewed slowly while drinking plenty of water. Back at home, Lisa had always been careful to drink plenty of water whenever she ate anything dry. She had some phobia about choking when nobody was around to help her. Ashley couldn’t remember her doing it on the trip, but she had been preoccupied. Maybe Lisa had done it all along.
“You have to understand that we were all pretty weary after our ordeal with the Origin. We had all seen a better life—or at least what we thought was a better life—and then it had been ripped away from us. It was like waking up from a nightmare only to realize that the nightmare was real life all along.”
“But Romie always says that surviving strengthens the will to survive,” Ashley said.
Lisa nodded. “That can be true. Something happened to us all after that incident though. Most people began to be more community oriented. Surviving had been a solo endeavor for a lot of folks. They couldn’t afford to be too attached to one another because they had been forced to let go of so many people who they loved. Then, with the prospect of having to really embrace the community as a whole, the stakes went way up. It’s difficult to describe.”
“The mandate?”
“Yes. That was definitely a factor. When we got together as a group and decided that we should put an emphasis on building our numbers, it made a lot of people more cognizant of the future. Living wasn’t only a daily proposition anymore. Changing gears like that is hard. When the world ended, there were tons of people who couldn’t adjust. After the churn, there was a lot of pressure to make the adjustment back. It was just as jarring the other direction.”
“So people went crazy?”
“No,” Lisa said. “Not crazy, no. What happened was that people started to feel the pressure of the future. They began to feel like they had a responsibility for all the generations to come. Imagine all that weighing on you and then you break your wrist or suffer a burn on your leg. All you can think about is how difficult it’s going to be to heal and how much of a burden you’re going to be on the community. The resources that you’re consuming while you recover might never be paid back. The effort used to keep you alive might have nourished a pregnant woman so that she wouldn’t miscarry. People began to put their own survival as secondary to the strength of the group. They thought that they were being altruistic when they removed themselves from the equation.”
“But they would have gotten better and been able to contribute again in the future.”
“Maybe. It wasn’t usually the young and strong who chose to go off,” Lisa said.
Ashley thought about that. The decision would be based on a calculation that nobody was qualified to make. They couldn’t see the future. Tim had at least known what he was capable of when he was influenced by the environment. His fear had been somewhat justified.
“It sounds like they were weak.”
“They were. But they were also very strong. Their weakness was not understanding how the loss would affect the rest of us. But it took a lot of courage to remove themselves to serve their principles. Those years had some sadness, but also a lot of joy. We discovered pockets of people who had avoided the churn altogether—your mom was one. We also celebra
ted the first births. We were making good strides forward and suffering terrible setbacks. There were days when I didn’t know if we would even make it to the next. But, just like everything else, we adapted.”
“So, it’s true that people went to a barn in New Hampshire to hang themselves?”
Lisa’s eyes went wide and then she laughed.
“Who told you that?”
“All the kids talked about it at one point or another.”
Lisa shook her head with a sad smile. “Everyone took their exit in whatever way they thought would be easiest, I guess. I imagine we will never know the fate of most of them. A few people left notes and a few bodies were discovered. As far as I know, pills were a common strategy. Back then, there were still plenty of pills around that were so strong that you would go to sleep and never wake up.”
Ashley pictured Tim again. This time, he was lying on a dusty old bed in a shaft of sunlight. He looked asleep, but she knew that his heart had been stopped by whatever drug he had ingested. She shook the image away—it didn’t seem possible.
“It seems really unlikely that we made it as far as we did,” Lisa said. “All those strong souls who somehow lasted through the churn. We could have—probably should have—been wiped out by something as simple as a flu. You kids definitely shouldn’t have stood a chance. It’s remarkable that anyone was still alive at all.”
“You don’t think we’re going to find anyone in Donnelly,” Ashley said.
“Actually, I believe we will. I don’t have any logic to support that belief, but I think they made it. Some people of the Outpost survived, so I don’t see why not.”
Lisa began to push herself back to her feet. Ashley got up quickly so she could give her a hand.
“I have to get moving again before I stiffen up.”
Ashley nodded, but didn’t quite believe it. Lisa was moving pretty good. In fact, if she had to guess, Lisa was able to get up and down even better than before the whole trip had started.
“Wait!” Ashley said. Lisa didn’t heed her call. She kept moving toward her bicycle.
“Tim said that he used to have an apartment in Pittsburgh, right? That’s where he’s going. I would bet anything. We can go west and catch up to him. We can figure out some way for us all to travel together and still be safe.”
Lisa tilted her bike before she tried to swing her leg over it. Still, she grunted with the effort.
“Aunt Lisa?”
“Ashley, he has made his decision and we can’t unmake it for him.”
“I’m sure that he was afraid to ask us to take the risk of having him along. I say we go and get him, we’ll be proving to him that we want to take the risk. He won’t have to ask.”
“Get on your bike,” Lisa said. She pushed off and coasted until her legs could start bending the wheel of momentum forward, building speed one inch at a time. “We have promises to keep.”
Ashley was frozen for a moment. She couldn’t convince herself that Lisa was doing the right thing. Eventually, as Penny began to whine and Lisa’s shape grew smaller and smaller down the road, Ashley gave in. She pointed the dog to the little trailer and got her own bicycle moving. Her legs burned for a moment and then were ready for the next hill.
Chapter 107: Robby
“Make the introduction,” Robby said. He gestured toward Liam.
Liam cleared his throat and glanced back and forth between Robby and the screen.
“Pardon?”
“Just introduce me. The Center trusts you and doesn’t trust me. Maybe with an introduction…”
“Oh,” Liam said. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Center?”
The screen flashed black for a moment and then went back to showing the menu that had gotten them to the voice input. As far as Robby could tell, it was the machine’s version of being shy.
“Center, this is my friend, Robby. He is Jim’s dad. You can trust him.”
This time, the screen went black and stayed black until a small circle appeared in the middle. The edges rippled for a moment and then the voice said, “Hello, Robby.”
“Hi,” Robby said. Assuming that it could see him, he waved.
The circle danced for a moment. It reminded Robby of a video he had seen of solar flares. The middle of the circle was black and flames of red halo projected out and faded away.
“I had a conversation with your other half earlier,” Robby said.
The circle dimmed.
“We had a whispered conversation in the stairwell. I believe that he is a liar.”
“We don’t lie,” the voice said. A blue dot spun around the circle and then disappeared.
“A manipulator, then,” Robby said. “The conversation did produce one interesting conclusion. I realized that perhaps you don’t realize the threat that exists.”
“There are no threats down here.”
“At the very least,” Robby said, “there is the threat that we might all panic. People don’t adjust well to living in containment. With the sense that we’re trapped, people become unpredictable.”
The circle spun.
“The only thing containing the people here is the outside environment.”
“Maybe. I’m not sure we’re all confident of that. We know there’s still something going on out there. The people who just arrived confirmed that. What we don’t know is how we will be able to monitor the outside. Without monitoring, we won’t know when it’s safe.”
“A variety of sensors are available in the control room.”
The circle spun and went still.
“How can we be sure that those sensors aren’t being manipulated?”
The circle had no answer.
“With your assistance, we’re going to send out scouts periodically to check on the conditions firsthand.”
The circle contracted until it was very small on the screen. It stayed there while the voice responded.
“That would violate safety protocols and could introduce infectious agents.”
“We’ll take that risk,” Robby said. “Like I said, we’re going to need your help. We’ll want to use the exit beyond the control room and I believe you alone can provide us access to the platform.”
“The risk is unacceptable,” the voice said.
The screen went black and then returned to the menu again.
“That didn’t go well,” Liam said.
Robby shrugged. “I believe it was a necessary step.”
Chapter 108: Lisa
The third day was the worst—at least that’s what Lisa kept telling herself. Nothing could be as bad as trying to force her creaky old muscles to work through the cramps and the soreness. The fatigue that had set in made her feel like each turn of the pedals was working to tear apart her joints. Meanwhile, her neck and shoulders hurt so much that she couldn’t even twist to look behind herself.
“I’m done,” she said. It was a nice flat stretch. They could camp and have an easy go in the morning.
“There’s still tons of daylight left.”
“I said I’m done.” It came out way angrier than she had intended. It was maddening to be strapped to the bicycle. At least when they had been hiking, she could pause and lean against a tree at any moment. On the bike, the only respite was coasting, and that was only possible when the road allowed it. Even then, her butt hurt so much that coasting was barely a break.
“Fine,” Ashley said. “I’m going to unhook the trailer and go scouting for food.”
“We have plenty.”
“For tonight, yes. We’ll need breakfast and food to eat while we’re riding in the morning.”
Lisa sighed. Ashley was right, but it meant that Lisa would be setting up the camp alone. All she wanted to do was rest.
“Don’t worry about the tent,” Ashley said while she was disconnecting her bicycle. “I’ll do that when I get back. You just sit down or something.”
Getting permission guaranteed that resting was the last thing that Lisa was going
to do. She wouldn’t have Ashley doing all the work. It was unfair and lazy.
Lisa sighed and began to unpack the tent, looking for the right patch of ground to set it up. The process, automatic after all this time, stretched on and on. Every time she dropped a rope or a stake and had to bend over for it, she felt like giving up and collapsing in on herself.
Finally, with it done, she realized that she would need to build a fire before she could sit.
“Come on,” she said to Penny. “We need wood.”
At least the dog could help with that. Penny was pretty good at fetching sticks.
Lisa stumbled and cursed at the rock that had nearly sent her to the ground. She wandered to the edge of the woods to gather fallen sticks and pinecones. Penny was tugging on a low branch of a pine tree that would never snap. She was likely getting sap all over herself in her fruitless quest.
Lisa groaned as she bent for a stick, picked it up, and dropped it again. It had been too rotten to burn. Out of nowhere her eyes brimmed with water, threatening to spill. Lisa forgot about her sore muscles and gave no thought to how difficult it would be to stand back up. She collapsed to her knees and covered her face with her hands.
She peeled them away slowly, her tears spilling down her cheeks, and she looked with wide eyes into the woods. Between the trees she could sense the thing that had called to her earlier. It would be so easy to stand up and walk away from all her troubles. There was a new element to the fantasy this time. Instead of walking away from Ashley and Penny—who would definitely try to hunt her down and drag her back to this sad reality—maybe she could deliver all of them from this slow, cycling march to hell.
Lisa looked down at her hands. They were instruments of infinite capability. Her hands could grip tools that sliced and burned. Her hands could release Ashley and Penny from their turmoil.
It sounded like something was walking between the trees. Lisa stared, tears still spilling down her cheeks as she waited to see what would step out from the shadows of the forest.
“Lisa?” Ashley asked.
Lisa tried to spin toward the voice, knowing that she had to act fast in order to get the upper hand on the young woman. She had forgotten that she was on her knees. When she twisted, her legs tangled and she teetered briefly and then fell.