My heart sank. “Ah… Ryann, I’m so sorry. I put in the request but, because I’m the rookie, they wouldn’t give me the days. I totally forgot to tell Mrs. Smith.”
The family vacation had been the last thing on my mind, but now that I’d been reminded of it, I felt bad that I couldn’t go. I really did want to join them. I’d missed having them around and being part of their family unit. Worst of all was the realization that I was going to have to break the news to Mr. and Mrs. Smith themselves. I knew I could’ve just texted them or called them, but that wouldn’t have been fair. No, if I was going to tell them I couldn’t go, I had to do it face-to-face, to soften the blow a bit.
“You’re kidding! You have to come! Pull a sickie or something. It won’t be the same without you.” She sounded genuinely upset.
“I know. I really wanted to come,” I replied. “Why don’t you give your sexy Canadian my ticket instead, so the fam can get to know him a bit better?”
“Forget him—I want you to come.”
I smiled sadly. “I’m so sorry, Ryann. There’s been so much going on, and there’s a ton of work still to do. If I could pull a sickie or get those days off, I would. I promise I’ll make it up to you at Christmas, okay? Please don’t hate me.”
“As if I could ever hate you. You’re one of my favorite people on the planet,” she said with a sigh. “You just work too hard, that’s all. It really won’t be the same without you. I’d already pictured the Instagram photos—you, me, palm trees, fruity drinks with umbrellas, lying out in the sun.”
“Ugh, that sounds like just what I need. Don’t tempt me.”
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do!”
I laughed. “I’m sorry, I really am. Next year, I’ll be there with bells on.” Yeah, if I live to see next year. That wasn’t the positive attitude I needed, but it was a very real possibility.
“You better be!”
“I will, I will—I swear.”
“You better take some pastries when you break the news to Mom.”
I pulled a face. “I’ll get an extra big basket of them. Hell, I’ll buy the whole shop.”
“Well, I’ve got to head into class now, but I thought I’d call you and see how you were,” she said apologetically. “It’s been good to hear your voice.”
“Yeah, yours too.”
“Don’t be a stranger, okay? There’s always an open invitation for you to visit me, whenever you want. I miss you, Harley. I know you’re all busy and stuff, but it’d be cool to see you soon.”
“I’ll try and visit one weekend,” I said, though I had no idea if that’d be possible.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay… Well, take care of yourself, do you hear me? Don’t burn yourself out. And if this guy doesn’t see what’s right in front of him, and how bleepin’ glorious you are, then forget about him. You deserve a nice one, Harley. A good guy, who’ll treat you well. Sexy is good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not everything.”
I grinned. “Says you with the six-one Canadian fox.”
“Yeah—I’m just hoping he’s not too good to be true, you know?”
“He won’t be. And if he is, let him know your sister works for Homeland Security.”
She chuckled. “Right, well, I’ve got to go. I mean it, though—take care of yourself.”
“You, too.”
“Good luck with Mom and Dad.”
“Thanks.”
“Talk to you later, Harley.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Talk soon.”
She hung up the phone, leaving me with a bittersweet sense of sadness. I really did miss Ryann and the Smiths. After the childhood I’d had, they’d been the light at the end of the tunnel, guiding me into adulthood with a kind hand. Plus, Hawaii would have been so good—a welcome break from the madness here. It made me stop and wonder where my life would be now, if I hadn’t met Wade in the parking lot of the casino that night. Would I be happier? It was a tough one to call.
I was already picturing Mrs. Smith’s disappointed face, and Mr. Smith’s diplomatic words of understanding. This was going to sting, for sure.
I hurried toward the Banquet Hall, knowing I’d have to cancel my lunch with Jacob so I could pay a visit to the Smiths. There was no time like the present. I was rounding the corner onto the main hallway, when a figure stepped out of the shadows behind one of the bronzed dragons. Jacob wore a hood low over his head, an amused smile on his lips. I’d gotten so used to seeing him as Tarver that his actual face was pretty odd.
“Geez, you scared me!” I laughed, clutching my chest. “What are you doing out here? We’re supposed to be having lunch in five minutes.”
“My face needed to breathe.”
“Careful someone doesn’t call the cops on you, loitering around with your hood up.”
He grinned. “Nah, I’m a master of blending in. Why the heavy breathing?”
“I was just running to tell you that I have to cancel on lunch. I just got a call from Ryann and I need to tell the Smiths that I can’t come on the family vacation. So, I’m darting off to their place. I figured I’d get it out of the way, since Mrs. Smith is going to be majorly disappointed.”
His face lit up. “Can I come with you?”
“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea,” I replied.
“Please?”
“It might be painful, Jake. They won’t remember you.”
He shrugged. “I don’t care; I just want to see them again. They did so much for me. Please let me come with you.”
“You can’t say anything about having been there before,” I warned.
“I won’t—I swear.”
“Fine, but if it becomes too much, just let me know and we’ll go, okay? And put your mask back on.”
“Will do.”
With an uneasy feeling in my chest, we headed out of the coven. With his Tarver mask on and the protective charms that Alton had put on him, he’d be able to fly under the radar. Still, I couldn’t push away all my nerves about taking him out of the coven. Veering around toward the parking lot, we made our way to my Daisy and hopped in. He didn’t say much on the drive over, his gaze fixed on the outside world, his fingertips tapping anxiously on the dashboard. I understood his desire to see them again, but he had no idea just how painful it would be, not to be remembered.
“So, how did things go with Krieger? Did you give him your decision?” I asked, breaking the silence.
He shrugged. “Yeah. I told you I wouldn’t change my mind.”
“Did he take that piece out of you?” I hated even saying it. It felt so very wrong.
“He did it this morning,” he replied, showing me his arm. A tiny, red cut was visible across the center of his palm. “Didn’t hurt at all.”
“Do you feel okay?”
“Absolutely fine. He told us there was nothing to worry about, and he meant it. Stop panicking.”
I smiled. “You don’t feel weird or anything?”
“Not at all. Like I said, I didn’t even notice him taking a piece of my Chaos. Was easier than getting a jab.”
“Sure?”
“Sure—now stop asking.” He grinned at me, covering his hands with his hoodie sleeves.
Half an hour later, after stopping by St. Clair’s for a basket of pastries, we pulled up outside their house. Nerves pulsated off him in shaky waves, his eyes wide as he looked up at the house. It had been a while since he’d been here, and the last time hadn’t exactly been great. The clean-up team had done an incredible job of fixing everything up, but that didn’t wipe away the memories that Jacob and I had. I figured it might have been easier if they’d altered Jacob’s memories too, but I wouldn’t have taken them from him, not for the world. He deserved to have some happy thoughts, even if they were peppered with bad ones.
Together, we walked up to the door. Mrs. Smith answered a minute later.
“Harley, what a wonderful surpris
e!” she said, beaming. Her eyes drifted over to Jacob, an expression of confusion drifting across her features. There was no way she could remember Jacob, but there was a hint of something like recognition when she looked into his unchanged eyes, as if there was a memory on the tip of her tongue. Just out of reach.
“Hi, Mrs. Smith. I was just in the area and thought I’d swing by,” I replied. “This is… uh, Tarver—he’s an intern, so I brought him along.”
“Well, the more the merrier. Will you stay for lunch?”
I shook my head. “We can’t stay long. A cup of coffee would be great, though. Might be good to wash these down.” I showed her the basket of pastries before handing them over.
“Of course! I love croissants, though my waistline doesn’t.” She flashed me a smile, taking the basket and leading us into the kitchen. We sat at the breakfast island, perched on the stools as she made coffee. Jacob couldn’t stop staring, his eyes practically popping out of his head.
“Actually, there was another reason I wanted to come and see you,” I admitted.
She glanced over her shoulder. “Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s about the family vacation. I tried to get the days off, but they denied them. I haven’t been there long, so I don’t have all the perks and stuff yet,” I explained, feeling bad for lying. “I spoke to Ryann earlier, and thought I’d come and break the news over coffee and pastries. Call it a peace offering.”
Mrs. Smith’s face fell. “Oh, no. Are you sure? Can’t you even come for a few days?”
“Afraid not. I’m so sorry—I was really looking forward to it.”
“Well, these things can’t be helped,” she replied, after a pause. “Mr. Smith will be disappointed, but we both understand how busy you are. Still, it won’t be the same without the whole family there. You’ll be sorely missed.”
Jacob stiffened beside me, dropping his gaze. Not so long ago, he’d been part of the family, too. The Ryders and Katherine had taken that away from him. It didn’t help that every time Mrs. Smith looked into his eyes, she had that same glimmer of recognition, as though she was trying to place him. I could tell he was desperate to say something, but he was fighting against it.
“I’m really sorry,” I murmured.
“Never mind. We’ll just have to do something extra fun at Christmas. You’ll be able to get some time off then, won’t you?”
I nodded. “For sure.”
“Right, then, that’s settled. I’m going to cook the biggest feast our kitchen can hold and feed you until you have to be rolled upstairs,” she said, a little too brightly. I felt very lucky to have them in my life, but it made Jacob’s loss all the more poignant. I might’ve arranged for their house to be warded by powerful charms, so Katherine couldn’t get her revenge on me by attacking them again, but I couldn’t bring their memories of Jacob back. It was for the best, but it still sucked.
An hour later, after copious cups of coffee and one too many pastries, we left the house and got back into the car. Jacob hadn’t said much throughout the entire visit, but I couldn’t blame him for that. It had been harder on him than he’d anticipated; I could sense the residual pain brimming inside him. He wanted what I had. He deserved to have that.
“Are you okay?” I asked, as I fired up the engine.
He nodded slowly. “I didn’t realize it would hurt that much. She kept staring into my eyes like she knew who I was but couldn’t quite figure it out.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you come,” I said, not unkindly.
“No, no, I’m glad I did. I wanted to see them again,” he insisted. “It just made me realize how much I miss having a family. It was easier when there was this hope that my real family might be out there, but now that I know I’ll never see them, it’s… I don’t know. It’s more painful, I guess. I’ll never get that lucky again, finding folks like the Smiths. It feels like it’s just me now, especially with Isadora gone.”
“Hey, you’ve got us,” I replied. “We’re not going anywhere, and nobody’s going to make me forget about you.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I’m grateful for that.”
“I know it’s not the same.”
“No…”
“But we’ll be here for you, no matter what.”
“I guess that’s why I wanted to help Krieger,” he said. “Doing this detection stuff makes me feel like I have a purpose, you know? Like, beyond the portal stuff. This is something I can help with, without damaging anything around me. It makes me feel useful.”
“You are useful. And I’m proud of you for taking the initiative, even if I don’t like Krieger rummaging around in your Chaos.” He was pretty mature for his age, making decisions like that, based on more than himself. It made me wonder what kind of man he’d turn out to be. A good one, I guessed.
He turned toward the passing landscape. “Thanks, Harley. Seriously.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Nothing would ever bring back his mom and dad, and it seemed unlikely that he’d find his way into the foster system again, but I hoped that he’d come to realize that we could be just as good. These were the cards that life had dealt him, and they sucked, but at least he wasn’t alone anymore. The coven would have to be his family from now on, and I would do everything in my power to make sure that he felt loved. He deserved that much.
Nine
Harley
A day later, I paced the floor of my bedroom, giving myself a once-over in the mirror. I’d attempted to dress professionally, but I just felt plain uncomfortable. In a smart skirt, black pantyhose, and a white silky shirt, I looked like a little girl playing in her mom’s closet. I eyed my jeans and T-shirt, which lay on the bed, and wondered if it mattered what I looked like. It was only an interview to see my parents’ Grimoire; I wasn’t running for state Senate or anything.
A knock at the door made me turn in surprise. Wade was supposed to come get me in half an hour. I’m not ready…
“Come in,” I said loudly. My eyes flew wide as a figure entered, her dazzling smile and effortless chic making me feel about as glamorous as a sea cucumber. “Imogene? What are you doing here? Not that you’re not welcome—I just… Sorry, I’m babbling. A bit of pre-show nerves.”
She chuckled. “I was hoping to catch you before you left for New York. I heard about the interview and wanted to come and wish you good luck. Not that you’ll need it.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“There’s a great deal to be said for imagining people in their underwear. If nothing else, it will make you laugh. At least you’ll be relaxed, then,” she said, her eyes lighting up with playful mischief.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” The thought of seeing Salinger in nothing but his boxers made my stomach turn, although I wasn’t sure who would actually be conducting my interview. Chances were, they’d be a bunch of people I’d never even met before.
“I also thought I’d bring you a good-luck gift,” she went on, perching gracefully on the edge of my bed. The shame at seeing my dirty clothes scattered around the room made me want to open up a sinkhole and let it drag me down. Still, she didn’t seem to notice. Either that, or she was pretending not to.
“A gift?”
She nodded. “I promised you one after your pledge, and I am a woman of my word, but with things being so hectic in the wake of this Katherine debacle, I haven’t had the chance to come back here much. Besides, I had to make sure I selected the perfect gift—I am very particular about these things.”
The warmth that always emanated from her surrounded me in a comforting blanket of calm, bringing my nerves down a notch. I hadn’t known I needed her until she was here in the room with me. Glancing at the silver bracelet on her wrist, I wished I could delve into her true emotions again, the way I’d done at the pledge. I guessed her natural positive energy would have to do.
She opened the cream-leather clutch she’d tucked under her arm, and removed a box of varnished, black wood. Embedded in the surface wa
s a yin-yang symbol, crafted from mother-of-pearl—one side white, the other black. Unbidden tears found their way into my eyes. My mom and dad.
“Thank you,” I gasped, reaching for the beautiful box. “It’s perfect.”
She smiled. “The gift is inside the box, Harley.”
“Oh... right.” My cheeks reddened as I opened the silver clasp and lifted the lid. I’d have been happy with just the box, to be perfectly honest. However, as I set eyes on the gift inside, my heart leapt into my throat and those tears threatened to fall. Apparently, I was a crier now. Santana had opened some floodgates and I was having a hard time closing them again.
Set on a plump bed of black velvet lay a pendant that I’d seen before, in a distant dream. I lifted it out, the thin chain wrapping around my fingers as I let the pendant dangle. Colors danced against the wall as the sunlight glinted off the jewelry. It was made of sterling silver and shaped like a teardrop, with different, rough-cut gemstones mounted on the surface: red, white, blue, black, and pink. I didn’t know what they were supposed to represent, but I knew this pendant as if it had always been in my possession. A memory came back to me of the night I’d first seen this. Even then, I’d sworn to remember the necklace if I ever saw it again. And here it was, in my hands.
“Where did you get this?” I murmured, practically speechless.
“I had it specially made for you, based on the design of an old Merlin heirloom. There’s a picture of your Aunt Isadora wearing it in the New York Coven’s alumni hall, so I had it copied. I imagine the original has been lost, but perhaps this is a suitable stand-in,” she replied. “As I say, I always have to make sure my gifts are right. Presents should be special, and I hoped you might feel closer to your family if you had this. I know things haven’t been easy for you, and I wanted to bring you some comfort. Especially as Alton tells me you’re looking to clear your father’s name—it is my fondest wish that you succeed, Harley. With this around your neck, you will feel Hiram’s spirit close to your heart. Let that give you courage in the trials to come.”
Harley Merlin 4: Harley Merlin and the First Ritual Page 9