by Renee Kira
I saw him standing in the middle of the road, after the police stormed the house and got us out. He was yelling out to me from the other side of a hastily erected police barricade. It was impossible to hear him. All I could do was wave as the doors of an ambulance closed with me inside.
Maya watches her two boys on the playground.
‘Does it help?’ I ask. ‘Knowing what happened that night?’
‘Yes. But no. I miss her.’
I’ve never told her my mother’s side of the story. I’m guessing that she reads the news and has a pretty good idea of what happened.
‘Veronica wasn’t a perfect person,’ says Maya as if she’s reading my mind. ‘But I still loved her.’
I nod. ‘Neither is Mum. But we don’t love the people in our lives for their perfection. We love them as they are.’
‘I left David,’ she says, her eyes still watching the two boys navigating the slide. They climb up the wrong way, as if that’s a lot more fun than going downwards, and then laugh when they make it all the way to the top.
‘Did he know about Veronica?’
‘He worked it out. I think he guessed what was happening before I did. It wasn’t physical between Veronica and me. I can’t define it.’
‘Did he move out?’
‘No,’ she answers. ‘I did. I moved in with my Dad. It’s good for him to have an extra person around. Plus, these two.’ She nods in the direction of the playground. ‘What about you? What are you going to do now?’
I shrug and I honestly don’t know. The law has lost its shine and I have no interest in my own business anymore. I still have the house, but there’s not a lot else to keep me here. My parents might not even be around.
‘Liam wants to see you. He’s trying to give you some space.’
‘Yeah,’ I sigh. I’d figured that one out.
‘He’s one of the good guys,’ she adds. But I already knew that.
Isobel - one month later
On a café table opposite me, Max Hayes cuts his pancakes into small, square-shaped bites. He makes sure each piece has a little ice cream on it before he brings the fork up to his mouth.
Liam sits beside him. Neither of us adults are game for the sugar-laden pancakes. I’ve ordered eggs and a black coffee and Liam has toast on the table in front of him. The café is busy with both tourists and locals. Outside, it’s a beautiful Sunday. Summer is in full swing, and Christmas isn’t far away.
We’ve done this for the last three weekends. It’s a little difficult to date a guy with a kid. Liam says that Maya has offered to babysit, even have Max once a week to help him out. Liam won’t have it; he hasn’t let Max out of his sight unless it’s for school. He’s taken an extended break from his job and said he was up to his eyeballs in holiday leave, anyway.
Max and Liam knock on my door at eight o’clock every Sunday morning. We head out for breakfast and later to the beach or the park.
I’ve never heard Max complain about anything. He’s a sweet kid, he’s softly spoken, and he thinks about things a lot. He’s a lot like my father.
My father now has a grandchild. Or a biological grandchild, at least. I’m not sure if it means something to him. He will never be a great talker. I can understand where he is coming from. I’m not ready to talk about the fact that my real mother and my biological mother are both in prison.
After we’ve finished and paid the bill, we walk down the Main Street towards Safety Beach. The sun is beating down hot and it’s warm enough to swim. Families are dotted along the sand, towels and beach umbrellas marking their places. It’s so close to my home, but this is a completely different piece of coastline.
‘Can we swim?’ Max grabs my hand. He does this whenever we walk somewhere. I wonder how big the hole in his heart is. I nod and he grabs Liam with his other hand and leads the two of us down the hill. Liam looks across the top of Max’s head and smiles at me.
Max is one of those kids that needs to be shown love all the time. He likes to stay close to me and always hugs me goodbye. I may never have a child of my own, but right beside me are a man and child waiting for me to love them. I hear Heather Hayes’ voice in my head, calling me a thief. A stealer of lives.
Guilt twists my stomach at the thought this life could have been Veronica’s. I chase it away. She was a good mother to Max, but she spent every other moment chasing money. And eventually she chased hard enough that she met her own end.
We reach the sand; I step out of my sandals and then pick them up off the ground. The crisp sea wind is cool against my skin. Max runs ahead, keen to see if the water is warm. Liam stops and waits for me. He slips his arm around my waist as we walk towards the still sea. It’s an aqua colour today, its hues shining brighter as the weather warms each day.
‘You know, we will have to go on a proper date one of these days,’ he says. ‘I could take Maya up on her offer to babysit.’
I wonder if we should wait. Maybe Max needs more time to adjust. I should decide what I will do for work. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that things are rarely normal. If you wait for the right timing, it will never happen.
‘Okay,’ I answer. ‘That sounds nice.’
Our births are a terrible lottery. The people you are surrounded by will shape you, for better or for worse. An act of chance can change your future at any moment. None of us know what might be ahead. But I can see what’s in front of me right now. And that’s enough.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to you, the reader, for reaching the end of this book. It means a lot to me that you chose this story, either off a screen or shelf, and joined me for this journey.
If you would like to keep in touch, you can join my mailing list. Don’t worry, I write slowly and never spam or share an email, so I won’t flood your inbox.
Thank you to all of the people who helped me along the way with this book. Thanks to my husband, Daniel and my mother, Janeen who were my earliest readers.
Thanks to Traci Finlay for her brilliant beta reading skills and to Ash Spring for her incredibly precise proofreading.
See you next time.
Renee.