* * *
His moment of enlightenment didn’t come until later.
They sat down to dinner back on the boat just as the last red glow of the sun disappeared below the horizon behind them and the breeze wafted through the saloon, beginning to lower the temperature by a very welcome few degrees after the full scorching heat of the day.
He made pasta with pesto while she prepared a mixed salad with tuna and egg, and then lit a candle, setting it on the table as the light faded. When he placed her plate of pasta in front of her, she was touched to see that he had chosen farfalle – so called because of their resemblance to little butterflies. She commented and saw him smile in the flickering light of the candle.
‘The least I could do. And I’m really pleased you managed to see your Emperor butterfly. Really beautiful.’
‘Although pretty disgusting when it comes to diet. They’re particularly fond of rotting flesh or poo.’
‘You wouldn’t think it to look at them. How something so beautiful can exist by eating that sort of stuff is amazing.’
‘Well, to be quite precise, they don’t actually eat at all. They get all their food by drinking, sucking it up via their proboscis. And did you know butterflies can taste with their feet? They have sensors in their feet so they can tell what a flower’s going to taste like just by landing on it.’
He looked up from his pasta and she saw him smile. ‘I can see why you find them so interesting.’
‘They’re actually such complex little animals. Most people just see them as beautiful little things when, inside, there’s so much more to them.’
‘Not that different from you, Jo. I can honestly say that although I was immediately struck by your looks, I very soon worked out that what’s inside is even more special.’
‘I’m delighted to hear it. Never judge a book by its cover.’ She set down her fork and reflected. ‘This is where your limbic system argument falls down, surely? There’s more to us humans than just outward appearance and physical attraction. Our closest relatives in the animal world, monkeys and apes, like the bonobos for instance, are only interested in sexual gratification and reproduction. Humans require more than that, and that’s where what’s inside comes into the frame.’
For a moment, their eyes met across the table and she read uncertainty on his face in the candlelight. Then he dropped his eyes to his plate, but made no attempt to start eating again. It was a while before he managed to marshal his thoughts, but Jo just sat and waited.
‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my limbic system recently. And it’s all your fault.’ He took a sip of red wine and Jo found herself tensing, wondering what was coming next. ‘I was a perfectly happy hedonist, living for the moment, until you came along. Do you know something, Jo?’ He looked back up at her, his magnetic blue eyes flashing with the reflected candlelight. ‘You probably didn’t realise, but that kiss you gave me when we were soaking wet after we’d been dancing in the rain, that kiss, fleeting as it was, shook me to my foundations. I had never felt anything like it before.’
By now, Jo had lost all interest in her pasta. She, too, took a mouthful of wine before replying.
‘So are you saying that you liked it?’
‘Liked it? It was amazing. It was as if I’d suddenly been struck by an electric shock that went straight to my brain.’
‘Are we back to the limbic system again?’
‘Way more than that. It was as if my whole cerebral cortex had been invaded and taken over. Ever since then – maybe even before, I can’t remember – I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.’
Jo liked the sound of what she was hearing although it was all so confusing. Could it really be that the leopard was changing its spots at long last? And, if so, would this be the impulse her overstretched emotions needed to finally accept that she really did love him – and had done so for quite some time? She took advantage of his evident honesty to ask him something that had been exercising her mind for weeks now.
‘Tell me something, Corrado. When we were supposed to meet up on my last night in Rome, when I was taking you out for a pizza, why was it you couldn’t come? Did something happen?’
He didn’t answer immediately. When he did, it was with the same bemused tone he had just used.
‘I saw you in Piazza Navona with that man. I now know from Angie that he was your ex, but at the time, I didn’t. The thing is, seeing you with him had another very strange effect on me.’ He looked up at her. ‘I felt jealous, Jo. Do you know what that feels like?’
Jo decided to try to keep things light – if that was possible. ‘I know exactly what that feels like, Corrado. Would you believe I’ve even felt jealous of a member of the Roman constabulary?’
He managed a little smile. ‘I’m sorry. The thing is, though, I don’t get jealous. Jealousy isn’t scientific. Do bonobos get jealous when one of the females engages in sex with another male? No, of course not.’
‘I didn’t need to see you having sex with the police constable.’ She was still doing her best to keep him smiling.
‘Of course not, but you know what I mean. Why should it matter to me that you were with another man? I’m not like that.’
‘And that bothered you?’
He nodded. ‘It bothered me. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and what it might mean. I got so confused, I knew it would be a mistake to go out for dinner with you, so that’s why I texted you. I’m sorry, Jo. If it helps, I had a miserable evening all alone. Ask Daisy. She’ll tell you.’
She smiled. ‘So you weren’t completely alone after all. But why exactly did it bother you? Hadn’t we established quite clearly that we’re just good friends. You’re the captain, I’m the mate. Surely there’s no need for jealousy.’
‘That was the plan, wasn’t it?’ He sounded almost disappointed. ‘This afternoon on the beach, I finally worked out what’s happened to me, why I found myself voluntarily offering up my life for yours at the airport. It’s contrary to everything I’ve ever learned or believed, but, like Sherlock Holmes used to say, when you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, has to be the truth.’ He raised his eyes from the table and looked straight at her. ‘Jo, I never thought I’d ever hear myself say this, but I can’t see any alternative. It has to be love.’
Now that he had articulated the word she had never believed she would hear on his lips, she felt a sense of release, coupled with a surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. Days, weeks of repressed emotion overflowed inside her and she came very, very close to bursting into tears. As far as she was concerned, she could finally admit to herself, if not to him, what she had known all along. She took a tight grip on her emotions and smiled at him.
‘Love – that’s your scientific conclusion after evaluating all the data?’
She was pleased to see a little smile forming on his lips. ‘I can’t see any other explanation. It makes no scientific sense but Sherlock Holmes is Sherlock Holmes, after all.’
‘You realise this has got to be one of the least romantic declarations of love in the history of the world?’
‘I’m sorry, but you have to remember that I’m a complete beginner at this stuff.’ He was still smiling, but she couldn’t miss the apprehension on his face. ‘As far as I can recall from the movies, I think this should be the moment when you tell me you feel the same way about me… or not…’ His voice tailed off uncertainly and her heart went out to him. Doing her best to control her growing excitement, she gave him an encouraging smile.
‘As a fellow scientist, before leaping to conclusions, I don’t think we should discount the experimental method.’
As she spoke, she stood up and went round the table until she was standing by his side. He started to stand up, but she pushed him gently back down again and then leant towards him, encircling his shoulders with her arms. Very gently she let her lips rest against his as her eyes closed. She stayed like this for a few seconds
before she felt him stir and reach up in his turn. He caught hold of her, pulled her slowly onto his lap, and kissed her properly for the very first time. She kissed him back with growing passion.
Their pasta was completely cold and the dog was beginning to get worried when Corrado finally sat back, still holding her in his arms, his eyes closed. Night had fallen and the only light in the saloon came from the guttering candle. She reached up and ran her fingers across his face, letting them rest on his lips, his cheeks and finally on his eyelids. While his eyes were still closed, she gave him his answer.
‘My conclusion, captain, after a close hands-on examination of all the evidence, is that it very definitely has to be love.’ She leant her face towards him again and kissed him softly on the eyelids before releasing him. Then she sat back and took a deep breath. Everything over the past twenty-four hours had been building up to this moment.
‘But there’s a problem.’ She saw his eyes open. ‘A big problem. You see, I’ve got to go to New York.’
‘That’s not the end of the world. How long for?’
‘To work. Maybe forever.’
‘I see.’
The tone of his voice said it all. He looked like a little puppy being left at home all alone. She sat there and softly stroked his face with her fingers as she explained all about Professor Dietrich and her job offer. Corrado made no response until she had finished. At that point, he pulled her closer, kissing her on the lips and then gently all over her face until she was in a state of near ecstasy. Finally, he released her, and then he surprised her.
‘Well, there’s no question. You can’t refuse an offer like that.’
‘I can’t?’ She was amazed. In all the different scenarios she had played out in her head, she had imagined him trying everything from bribery to tears to make her give up the UN job and move to Rome to be with him. ‘But that would mean we’d be thousands of miles apart.’
‘I know, but I think I know you pretty well by now. You told me once you didn’t think you were a very ambitious person and I believe you. But I also know that you’re passionate about your work and about the future of the planet. I love you very dearly – be in no doubt about that – but I would never want to be the one to make you give up something so important to you. You might not regret it at first but, sooner or later, you would. Besides, I know you’re very good at your job and the planet needs all the help it can get. No, you’ve got to take it.’
‘So where does this leave us?’
There was silence for a few seconds before he spoke and when he did, she could hear him doing his best to put a brave spin on the situation.
‘To quote you quoting Alfred Lord Tennyson, “it’s probably better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”’
‘But we haven’t loved yet.’
‘That, at least, we can easily remedy.’
Chapter 21
Over the next ten days they spent most of their time in the sea, on the beach, or in bed. Wherever they went, they were always together and Jo couldn’t remember ever having felt happier.
Apart from the question of New York hanging over them like the sword of Damocles.
As the days went by, she grew closer and closer to Corrado, although the looming spectre of separation threatened to take the edge off what was proving to be the best time of her whole life. The sense of relief she now felt as she could finally admit to herself the feelings that had been building in her body for weeks was overwhelming – and very welcome. As for Corrado, she could see he was clearly trying hard to enjoy the moment, without looking any further ahead than a day or two, but little things gave him away. Jo grew ever more convinced that he loved her dearly and the very bizarreness of the experience for a self-confessed unbeliever like him was almost comical to observe. From time to time she would catch him looking at her like Daisy staring at a string of sausages, and when she smiled at him he would blush as if he had been caught out. In the morning she would wake to find him leaning on one elbow, staring down at her as she slept, an expression of adoration on his face, and she loved him for it.
She now knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved him very much, reflecting that her own days as an unbeliever were well and truly over. Angie and Victoria had been right all along: just because she had had a bad experience with Christian didn’t mean love didn’t exist. Now she knew it really did, and it felt wonderful.
After a few more lazy days around the Argentario peninsula, they sailed out to some of the other islands, starting with Giannutri, a tiny island with barely a handful of houses on it, but with one of the most spectacularly beautiful coastlines Jo had ever seen. It took them less than three hours to sail across from the mainland with the aid of a good breeze and Jo had a go at taking the helm while Corrado did some fishing. When they reached the island, they moored in a little creek whose waters were a breathtaking, almost unreal, combination of every possible hue of blue from deepest ultramarine to royal blue, cornflower, and the lightest powder blue where the wavelets washed up on the little beach. The only sounds were the cries of the gulls and the gentle hiss of the waves on the sand.
They swam in the blissfully warm water and dived down, collecting tiny blue and yellow shells from the bottom. In the evening they took a little portable barbecue to the secluded beach and grilled the fish Corrado had caught as they had sailed across. They drank white wine, cold from the fridge, and he wedged the bottle in the wet sand on the shoreline to stay cool as they lazed in each other’s arms and watched the sun drop below the horizon. If paradise existed, Jo thought to herself as she lay alongside him in the twilight, it most definitely had to look something like this place.
After a few idyllic days they moved on to the bigger, busier, island of Giglio where they managed to squeeze into a mooring alongside a pontoon in the main harbour at Porto Giglio. They went out for dinner that night in a restaurant overlooking the bay, surrounded by noisy crowds, but were perfectly happy with each other’s company and ignored the other diners. On their way back to the boat, he bought her a little necklace made of the tiny blue and yellow shells, just like they had found on the sea bed. Next day they stocked up on supplies and then sailed round the island to a delightful little bay where they moored and lazed for a few more days, barely seeing anybody else for hours on end.
From there they headed back across to the Argentario once more and stopped in Porto Santo Stefano where he had an appointment with his accountant. This was a sizeable port, packed with tourists, cars and noisy scooters, and it came as a shock to the system after days of blissful peace and quiet. While he was away at his lunch meeting, Jo took Daisy for a good long walk across the headland and at midday sat down in the shade of a gnarled, thorny old tree, its branches blown horizontal over the years. Across the deep blue of the Mediterranean she could see the Tuscan coast curving northwards, its unbroken sandy beaches fringed with pine forests. As the dog slumped down beside her, Jo pulled out her phone and called Victoria.
‘Vic, hi, how’s things?’
‘Great, thanks. I gather from George that you helped him and his team with some big problem the other day. All very mysterious, but he told me he couldn’t have done it without you.’
Jo knew that George had asked her to keep the Markus affair secret, so she made no mention of him and just talked about the silver car and the man with the gun. After she had given Victoria a brief run-down of what had happened in the car park, her friend was far more excited by the fact that Corrado had stepped between Jo and the gunman than what had been going on in the car.
‘You know what this means, don’t you, Jo?’
‘It’s got to be love?’
‘Exactly, but says who? Just you or him too?’
‘Says both of us.’ Jo went on to describe the events of the past few days and she heard Victoria whistle.
‘I told you he’d change, didn’t I? And you… with all that nonsense you’ve been spouting about love not being a thing! See, Auntie Vic kno
ws best.’
‘You were right, as usual. Thank you, Auntie Vic.’
‘And I seem to remember saying you needed to check him out in the sack before you could be sure. How did that go?’
Jo found herself grinning. ‘Totally amazing.’
‘So, what happens now, Jo? You’ve got your interview with Professor Whatshername in a week or two. What’re you going to tell her?’
‘What can I tell her, Vic? Even Corrado’s telling me I have to take the job or forever regret it.’
‘So that’s what you’re going to do?’
‘I honestly don’t know, Vic. The thing is, I’m absolutely potty about Corrado. The idea of being separated from him seems unthinkable.’
‘I suppose he’ll be able to come over to the States and see you regularly.’
‘We’ve been talking about that. Yes, of course we can meet up every now and then but, realistically, that might be all right for a few months, maybe even a year, but if I stay in New York for long, sooner or later it’s all going to fall apart.’
‘So, what’re you going to do? It’s an awful choice you’ve got to make.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.’
Jo spent the rest of the day wrestling with the problem of having to choose between the man she loved and the job she loved. She knew she wasn’t the first woman in the history of the world to face this particular dilemma, but that didn’t make it any easier. Finally, as she settled down to a well-earned ice cream in a cafe overlooking the port, she even called her mother for advice.
‘Hi, mum. It’s me.’
‘Hello, sweetheart, where are you?’
‘I’m back on dry land for a few hours. It’s a place called Porto Santo Stefano. Check it out on Google. It’s beautiful. This whole area’s stunning. Today Corrado’s got a meeting, so I’ve been for a walk with the Labrador.’
Dreaming of Rome Page 24