He ripped his eyes away from me and my heart clenched in my chest. Monroe cared about me, maybe more than I gave him credit for. And I could understand it. It would have been torture for me to watch him hurt too. But this was the only way we were going to destroy them.
“I’m going to do what I have to, Nash,” I said, starting to walk again and he followed like my shadow. “If you can’t stomach it then I’ll do it alone.”
“If it was my blood they drew in punishment, I wouldn’t give a fuck,” he snarled. “But it’s not, it’s yours. And you’re far more precious than me Tatum. They’ve already taken enough from you, I won’t see them take more.”
“And what if I want to give myself to this?” I tossed at him, ignoring the squeeze in my belly at his sweet words. “Did you ever consider that I’m as willing as you to suffer for my revenge? I would give anything for it. And I’m insulted that you think I’m not strong enough to weather their punishments.”
“Of course you’re strong enough, princess,” he said, his voice dipped in velvet and making my anger rush away as quickly as it had arrived. “But I can’t stand to see you tormented by them.”
We reached the library and I turned to him, the two of us halting under the stone archway that led into the courtyard before the huge, gothic building. “Then don’t watch.”
Emotion flared in his eyes but I didn’t stay to absorb it, spinning around and heading away from him along the path. I pushed through the huge wooden door, glancing back and finding him still standing beneath the arch in darkness. My guardian angel cast in shadow.
I swallowed the sharp lump in my throat, slipping inside, the warm amber glow of the place making my shoulders relax. I loved it here. My demons couldn’t follow me into this space with its endless wooden bookshelves, low oak beams, hidden corners and winding aisles that made me feel like I was lost in a beautiful maze, never to be found by my captors again.
I wound through the stacks, taking my time as I breathed in the scent of old books and leather bindings. At the far end of the building was a large window which overlooked the lake with a circular table before it. This was where I came daily to study and a few of the Unspeakables were there already.
“Hey,” I said as I approached and Deepthroat smiled while Squits, Freeloader and Pigs waved shyly. Pigs was the latest member to show up regularly to our daily meetings. None of them would talk about what they’d done, but I always liked to try and guess. Although Pigs was kind of chubby, I couldn’t imagine that was a reason for the Night Keepers to cast him out of society. He had a German accent and had transferred here as an exchange student, now unable to leave since the lockdown. Poor guy. He was only meant to be here for six weeks and his whole life had gone to hell since pissing off the Night Keepers somehow.
“How are you?” Freeloader asked, tucking a lock of mousy brown hair behind her ear. Her features were all small apart from her large eyes, giving her the look of a rabbit in the headlights.
“I’m fine,” I said though it wasn’t entirely true, but I didn’t want to expand.
I wanted to get close to the Unspeakables, but it was tricky to trust them with my specific plans against the Night Keepers when I knew they’d spill the truth in a heartbeat if any of the guys caught wind of it. For all I knew they could be reporting back to the Night Keepers every time I met with them. But I liked to hope not. Especially considering I was trying to reinstate their backbones every time I came here and make them rise up. But that was a risk I had to take, because if I could get the Unspeakables to go against them, the power balance would shift in this school and together we could dethrone them for good.
“So, we’ve been thinking about what you said the other day about us reclaiming our real names,” Deepthroat said, exchanging a nervous glance with the others who nodded in encouragement. She’d worn her auburn hair loose for once, the beautiful waves falling around her shoulders in a waterfall. “And well…basically we thought…we’d like you to know ours.”
My lips parted in surprise and I nodded in encouragement. “So what are they?”
Deepthroat cleared her throat. “I’m Ashlynn,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling as she said the word and I grinned, looking to Freeloader.
She cleared her throat a couple of times, glancing over at the quiet aisles that led away from our table, but there was no one around. “Kristen,” she breathed, then smothered a laugh of relief as the world didn’t come to an end.
“Pigs?” I asked and he wet his pale lips.
“My name is Bergen,” he said then smiled broadly, the sight making my heart lift.
“And Squits?” I asked, the boy starting to shake from head to toe. He was so small, he looked like a child sitting in an adult sized chair.
“I-I’m R-R-R-” He shook his head, throwing terrified looks at the others.
“You can do it,” I said firmly and he nodded, his shaking starting to ease as he looked to me.
“R-Roger,” he forced out, his whole face screwing up as he said it.
“Nice to meet you Roger.” I beamed and he stopped shaking entirely, his eyes practically shining with hope.
I reached into my bag, taking out a few rolls of toilet paper I’d stashed there earlier while the boys had been busy. I got a surge of adrenaline every time I stole them and brought them here. God only knew what they’d do to me if they found out I’d been supplying the Unspeakables with TP. But it was worth the risk. I wanted them as allies and there was nothing more valuable than toilet paper on campus right now.
We set to work on our assignments and the two hours I was given each evening slipped away too fast. I was soon saying my goodbyes and telling them to encourage the rest of the Unspeakables to say their names out loud before I waved and headed off through the stacks.
I walked towards the librarian as she spoke with a student in front of her desk, handing over a school tie. “I found this down by the lake,” she said and the librarian grabbed a box from under the desk with Lost & Found printed on the side. A glint within it caught my eye as the girl placed the tie into it and I recognised Blake’s watch. The one Saint had smashed in class because he was a megadouche sandwich with a side of fuckhead fries.
“Hey, can I see that?” I asked as I jogged closer and the librarian shrugged, pushing the box towards me. The girl who’d dropped off the tie threw me a look of awe before darting out of the door and into the night.
I took the watch from the box and as I turned it over, I found an engraving on the back that said time waits for no man, my love.
I looked up at the librarian. “Can I take this? It belongs to my-” Captor? Monster? Mortal enemy? “Friend,” I finished with an innocent smile.
“Sure,” she said. “Looks like your friend might need a new one though.”
“This one’s special.” My heart clenched as I put it in my pocket, thinking of Blake’s mom. Of all the pain he must have been through. And as I waved goodbye to the librarian and headed out the door, I had the sudden urge to go and be with him.
The air was freezing outside and I hugged my coat tighter around me as I hurried down the path, half jogging back in the direction of The Temple. I wasn’t sure why I’d taken the watch exactly. It was broken, but from what Mila had told me about Saint destroying it, it had been a gift from Blake’s mother. Which made it incredibly precious.
The trees stirred around me in the wind, the sound of their rustling leaves sending a tingle up my spine.
A cracking twig to my right made me fall still and I gazed into the shadows between the trees which lined the hill beside the path. My breath was fogging before me in the cool air and every part of my honed instincts told me I was in danger.
Another twig cracked and a flash of white caught my attention up in the dark woodland. A face? I couldn’t tell. But I wasn’t going to hang around to find out. Especially as I could feel eyes on me, a creeping sensation telling me I was being watched.
I ran, racing down the path in the direction of Th
e Temple, pulling my phone from my pocket. I thought of the looters, of Merl breathing down my neck and my throat constricted as the sound of footsteps followed me through the trees. Maybe I should have suspected the Night Keepers, but somehow I didn’t think it was them.
I fumbled onto Monroe’s contact, blinded by the brightness of the screen as I hurried to press call.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid but-
I crashed into someone full speed and a yell of fright escaped me. Strong hands grabbed me and I threw my fist out in a burst of fear, throat punching my attacker as hard as I could.
Blake wheezed, stumbling back as he let me go, clutching his throat with both hands.
“Oh shit,” I gasped.
“Why?” he choked and a heavy breath fell from my lungs.
“I thought you were attacking me,” I said, a laugh suddenly leaving me as the relief of his company made me relax. All was quiet in the woods, so I guessed whoever it was had gone. Or they were still watching…
I shuddered, moving close to Blake, craving more of the comfort his presence bought me.
He coughed a few times then straightened his spine and yanked me against him, making my heart pound for a whole different reason.
“You wanna explain why you were charging down the path like a gazelle with its tail on fire?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but the truth felt stupid now. My imagination must have been getting carried away. Since Merl, I was always seeing shadows where there were none, expecting wraiths to descend on me in the night.
“Huh Cinders? Because we’re not leaving this spot until you answer me,” Blake growled, the threat in his eyes clear.
I rested my hand on his bicep, shifting closer and his arms softened around me. “I thought there was someone following me up in the trees,” I admitted, a blush sliding into my cheeks. It sounded even more stupid when I said it out loud.
Blake didn’t laugh at me though, his gaze shifted to the woods, his eyes narrowing like a hunter’s. “Did you get a look at them?”
“No…just footsteps. And a white face, maybe.”
“A mask?” he snarled and my heart juddered.
I frowned, trying to think. But Bait wouldn’t have been out there following me, why would he? He was scared of his own shadow these days. “Maybe, I’m not sure.” I tugged his arm. “Let’s just go back to The Temple.”
“No, Cinders, I can’t do that.” His eyes were still fixed on the trees, his jaw pulsing like an aggravated beast. If there really was someone watching us right now, I was a hundred percent sure they were shitting themselves, not planning an attack. “Wait here.” He slipped past me and the heat of his body went with him as he marched up into the pines.
I hugged my arms around myself against the cold and a tinny voice reached me from somewhere. It was like someone was shouting but really, really far away.
I gasped as I realised I’d called Monroe and held my phone to my ear.
“-I’m coming this second just hold on!” he cried.
“Nash, no - sorry,” I blurted.
“Oh thank fuck. Are you alright?” he demanded, sounding out of breath like he was running. “I heard you scream…I, fuck, tell me you’re alright.”
“I’m alright. False alarm. Sorry to scare you. Blake’s with me now.”
“What happened?” he pressed.
“I thought someone was following me,” I said, chewing on my lower lip as guilt trickled through me for making him worry.
“Following you?” he questioned, a note of concern in his voice.
“Blake’s gone to check it out.”
“He left you on your own?” he snarled.
“I’m fine, Nash, I don’t think anyone would come at me while Blake Bowman is prowling through the woods hunting them. Besides, if it was just a student, I could floor them easy enough. I just…got a fright I guess.”
“Of course you did.” He sighed. “That fucker who chased you into the crypt is always gonna haunt you if you let him, princess. But he’s gone. No one’s ever going to hurt you again,” he promised, though it was a promise we both knew he couldn’t keep. “Not physically anyway,” he muttered, hate filling his voice.
Blake’s broad form reappeared amongst the trees as he headed back this way.
“Thanks…I’ll see you soon,” I said.
“Be careful.”
“Always.” I hung up, tucking my phone away as Blake stepped onto the path then cupped his hands around his mouth and howled like a fucking wolf.
“If any one is out here hunting my girl, I will rip your fucking intestines out with my bare hands if I find you!” he roared and I gasped at the loudness of his voice echoing all over campus and bouncing back from the mountain.
He strode towards me with intent, his arm locking around my shoulders as he started walking me along the path in the direction of The Temple. There was a formidable energy rolling off of him and I wondered if he really would follow through on that threat if he found the perpetrator.
“So, why were you out here anyway?” I asked.
“I was coming to get you,” he said gruffly.
I was about to spurt my usual line that I didn’t need an escort, but tonight it didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world so I buttoned my lip.
“Thank you,” I said. “For checking the woods.”
“I’ve got your back. Always,” he said easily, like there was absolutely no questioning those words. “My mom used to say-”
He stopped dead, shutting his mouth tight and my heart squeezed.
“What did she say?” I asked gently, thinking of the watch in my pocket.
He cleared his throat. “She used to say find your tribe. Only let people into your life who make it better, who understand you on a soul-deep level. And once you find them, never let them go.”
There was beauty in those words. The only tribe I’d ever known was me, my sister and my dad. We’d been inseparable for so many years, it was heart-breaking to think we’d all been ripped apart. By death, by life. I’d never expected to find a tribe outside of them. People I could rely on who weren’t blood. But Monroe was that to me. And though the three boys who held me were my captors, they were also my keepers. They would destroy anyone who hurt me. It was just a shame they didn’t realise it was themselves they needed to punish.
“I’m not your tribe, Blake,” I said. “I’m your captive.”
“Doesn’t matter. I let you in, Tate. I’ve made you mine. I’m yours too, whether you want me or not. If you don’t like it that’s fine, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
I glanced at him, trying to pull free of his hold but he didn’t let go. “What’s in it for you?” I narrowed my eyes, my voice hard. “You haven’t done anything to me for weeks. I thought this was about revenge.”
“It was,” he grunted. “It is,” he corrected a beat later.
“So what’s your plan, Blake? You’re gonna keep me forever? Why?” I demanded. “You must know it’s not going to make anything better. I’m not responsible for the virus. And even if my father is – which he isn’t – what gives you the right to hurt me for his crimes?”
“You’d wanna hurt whoever you could if you lost someone the way I did,” he growled and I elbowed him hard in the ribs, forcing him to let go of me. I moved into his path to block his way, pointing a finger at him as rage crawled up my throat.
“I did lose someone. And yeah, maybe I don’t have a culprit to blame for it, but do you know how hard it is to have no one to blame?” My voice had risen and heat was scorching my veins. “I know you’re suffering, Blake, but I’m suffering too. And you know what I don’t need in my life?” I shoved him in the chest and he let me push him back a step, his eyes wide with surprise. “Three fucking assholes making my life hell. I didn’t want to come to Everlake in the first place. I didn’t want to be here.” I shoved him in the chest again and his eyes darkened.
I could tell I was luring the beast in him to the sur
face of his flesh. He could punish me for this, but he wasn’t. And I didn’t know why, but I was sure as hell going to keep pushing my boundaries because one day my invisible cage might just shatter.
“I know you’re hurting,” he said in a gravelly tone. “I see it in your eyes. I can taste it on you. If I’m really honest, maybe I knew all along and didn’t want to believe it. If you’ve looked grief dead in the eye, you can recognise that in others. And after Saint read out your letters-”
“Don’t,” I cut him off, emotion making my throat tight. “Don’t talk about that.”
“Tatum,” he croaked.
“Don’t fucking talk about that!” I yelled, shoving him in the chest again. “They were the most precious thing in the world to me and they’re gone. Gone. And you did nothing to stop him, you held me down, watched while he destroyed me. How could you do that if you knew? How could you?” I threw my weight at him again and he took another step back as I pushed him. The watch was burning a hole in my pocket. It was probably precious to him in the way those letters were precious to me, but why should I give it back when I would never get my letters in return?
He shook his head, his eyes blazing with words, but he didn’t utter a single one of them. “I’m sorry about your sister.”
“You’re not sorry!” I shouted, tears blurring my vision. “None of you are sorry for anything. You storm through life trampling everyone in your way. I’m just another victim being dragged under your heels. Why won’t you leave me in the dirt? When are you going to be satisfied?” I shoved him again, but he caught my wrists this time, dragging me closer with his teeth bared.
“That’s enough,” he warned and my tears spilled over, leaving burning hot trails down my cheeks. “I share your pain, it’s raw and blinding. But it made you strong and some part of me wanted to break you because I was broken. I’m weak. I won’t get through this, but you will. You already have.” He sounded so angry and hateful, but the hurt in his voice made me ache everywhere. He released my wrists, his eyes brimming with pain.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 23