“I hate myself for the thought even crossing my mind that day. I’m not who I thought I was,” he said, his tone rough and full of pain.
I skimmed my knuckles down the side of his face and he looked up at me with a sigh. There was a darkness in his eyes that scared me, a hollowness that he rarely showed lately, but was still ever-present, lurking beneath the mask he wore.
He gripped me more firmly. “Sometimes I think that we’re in hell already, doomed to live a life of suffering as we lose those we love one by one. Where every time something good comes along, the world is ripped out from under our feet and we’re cast into a storm of despair. Hope is the cruellest gift of life. Without it, we’re nothing but lost souls in a frozen sea. But with it, we want for more, dream of something better. But what if it’s never coming?”
“Don’t say that.” I angled his face up to meet my gaze and looked directly into the wound inside him that bled as freshly as if I had planted a bullet in him.
“It’s the truth, Tate,” he said with a sad smile. “It’s all fucked in the end. I dunno if I wanna stay around that long to see it.”
I leaned down with a tug in my chest, touching my lips to his and he reared up to meet me, his hands gripping my waist and making the T-shirt I was wearing ride up over my thighs. “I want your torture,” he growled against my mouth. “I want to be made to suffer for what I’ve done to you.”
I clutched the back of his neck, my legs slipping around his waist as I turned towards him. Part of me wanted to refuse, but his fervent, angry kiss said he meant it. He wanted to burn at the stake for his crimes. And I still had a lot to get back at him for.
“I want to destroy you the way you destroyed me,” I admitted between kisses and he pushed me down onto the bed, pressing me into the sheets as he nudged my thighs apart. Our kiss became more feral as I clawed at him and he crushed me in place beneath him.
“I can taste your hate.” He pulled away, rocking his hips so I could feel him swelling between my thighs. “It’s like hellfire, Cinders, and I want to burn up in it. Cast me into the fucking flames. Don’t you dare hold back.”
I clawed at his shoulders, trying not to lose myself to his furious kisses and the feel of his tempting body moving over mine. I moaned as his hard length rubbed against my clit through my thin panties and I quickly latched onto the plans of revenge I had.
“I want you to pay for the sex tape,” I said breathlessly and he lifted his head, his brow furrowed.
“How?” he asked.
“I want to make one of you. Just you,” I said, looking him dead in the eye.
He dipped his head to kiss me once more. “Deal.”
“At least you can get off this time,” I taunted and he groaned, burying his face in my neck.
“Fuck you. It’s not the same,” he muttered, then slid back off of me and planted his ass near the top of the bed.
He looked so tempting, his hair falling forward into his dark green eyes, his mouth pulled down at the corners. When Blake Bowman was serious, he looked like a Greek god cast in stone. I wanted to capture his pain, bottle it and keep it as mine forever. But mostly so he’d never have to feel it himself again.
I grabbed my cellphone from my bag and moved to his desk, sitting up on it and resting my feet on the chair.
“I’m gonna need some inspiration.” He tilted his head to one side and my heart fluttered at the idea of what he was asking me to do.
I placed my phone down, pulling off the shirt he’d given me to sleep in, baring my breasts to him and sending my hair tumbling around me. “How’s this?”
He groaned, nodding as he leaned back against the headboard and pushed his hand into his boxers.
“It’s not much of a show if you hide the main character,” I teased and he rolled his eyes before shoving his boxers off and revealing his thick length. I almost forgot to pick up my phone and start recording as I watched him take his cock into his grip and slowly start running his hand up and down, squeezing tighter as he reached the base.
I angled my phone at him, pressing record as I bit down on my lip, leaning back against the desk as I drank in the sight of him, wondering if it would really be the worst thing in the world if I spent some time taking pleasure from him before he finished up the show. Bad Tatum. Focus.
“Do you like watching me, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice gravelly and sending tingles rushing along my skin.
“Yeah,” I admitted, tipping my head back and using my free hand to palm my breasts as he watched. “Are you desperate for me, Blake? Do you wish you’d been nicer to me?”
“Yes,” he breathed as he rubbed himself harder, his thumb sweeping over the head of his dick as he grunted in pleasure. “I should have treated you like the goddess you are, Tatum Rivers. I’d worship you daily. Every part of you.”
I slid my hand lower, my hips bucking as I fought to keep the phone aimed at him while pushing a hand into my panties.
“Take them off,” he demanded. “Show me.”
I didn’t know why I complied, but this was just too hot to ignore. And I didn’t see the harm in having a little fun while I got my revenge. A video like this going viral would be seriously harmful to him and his reputation. Not that I’d send it out unless he sent out my tape. But it was good to be even.
I shifted my ass onto his calculus book and he smirked as I parted my legs and slid my hand between them, my eyes following the movement of his hand up and down his long shaft. He looked close to finishing already and I wasn’t really surprised with the treatment I’d given him the last few days. It got me hot knowing he was so turned on by me and I moaned as my gaze scraped over his hardened abs and his flexing bicep as he pumped his hand along his length.
“God you’re a fucking tease,” he growled. “What I’m gonna do to you when you let me inside you again.”
“Never going to happen, Bowman,” I panted, circling my fingers against my clit as his eyes drilled into my own like he was seeking out my damn soul. I wasn’t sure my words were true, especially as he groaned and my toes scrunched up at the sound. I wanted to make him curse and beg for me first hand. I wanted to have him lost to my body, pounding in and out of me as he fell apart, a slave to my flesh.
I dug my toes into his chair, moaning as I came and Blake swore, coming at the same moment and coating his stomach in ribbons of white.
I turned the camera off, placing my phone down and moving to his nightstand as I caught my breath. I tossed him a box of tissues, smirking as he bashed his head back against the headboard with a huff of frustration. I headed away into the bathroom for a shower, laughing as I swung the door shut behind me. He may have been a broken man, but he was still deserving of my punishments. I was getting closer and closer to striking all of his crimes off of the list though and I was afraid to think what that meant. When this was done…what then? Did I run away? Break my vow and leave this place forever? What was the alternative? Stay here…forgive them?
I forced the thoughts away, unable to face the twisting maelstrom of emotions they brought up in me.
By the time I returned to the room, Blake was gone and he’d left my uniform for me on the bed. I grabbed my school diary out of my bag and struck off two more of Blake’s crimes, a weight lifting from me as I did so.
The sex tape
The fish stew
The Unspeakables
The storm
The font
The bathtub
The ice
The gun
The clothes
The humiliation
The shower
The letters
THE VOW
I had to focus on dealing with the rest of the list, then I’d figure out what to do after that.
I dressed quickly, doing my hair and makeup in the mirror before heading out to make breakfast.
I cooked their usual meals and sat across from them with a bowl of yoghurt and muesli as they devoured their food. Blake kept looking up from his pancakes
and smirking knowingly at me and I couldn’t fight a mischievous grin in response as I thought over our morning together. His foot suddenly hooked mine under the table and a blush rolled into my cheeks.
Kyan slammed his cutlery down on his empty plate and I jolted at the sound, looking to him in surprise.
“It’s not going to clean itself, baby.” He sat back in his chair with a sneer and I pushed out of my seat, glowering at him as I snatched his plate up and knocked the remains of his coffee into his lap in the same movement. “Oops.”
Saint continued to slice apart his toast with vicious precision, throwing an idle glance between us before placing a forkful in his mouth. “Clean that up,” he growled at me in warning as Kyan stood, the coffee soaking into his crotch.
I walked away with my hips swinging, heading to the kitchen to clean Kyan’s plate and sensing him hounding after me.
As I placed the washing up in the rack, he swung me around by my waist, grabbing a dishcloth from the side and holding it out to me. “Get the stain out.”
“Just change your pants, asshole,” I hissed.
He shrugged, reaching down to unzip them and pull them off in front of me so he was standing in his black boxers. I rolled my eyes as he balled them up and handed them to me. “Are you gonna get me another pair or what?” He arched an eyebrow and I clenched my teeth. Why is he testing me today?
I shoved past him, heading to his room and tossing his trousers into the laundry as I walked into his closet. You want clean pants, asshole? Fine. But I can’t promise the rest of your pants will stay clean.
His stuff had all been neatly put back by Rebecca within hours after I’d ripped everything out of here the other week, so there was no point doing that again. It was infuriating.
I snatched out a pair of his smart school pants and smirked as I had a stupid idea. When Kyan was being a dick, I wanted to out-dick him as much as I could. And sometimes that called for being ridiculous.
I pulled on his trousers, tucking my skirt into them and grabbing out a belt so I could keep them in place on my small frame. I tightened it around my waist then rolled up the bottoms of the pants with a snort of laughter. I grabbed the other four pairs of school pants he had, opened his window and tossed them out onto the muddy ground below with a light laugh. Then I turned to grab the rest of his jeans and pants, throwing them outside too so the only clean ones he had were now on me. When I was done, I took one of his elastics and tied my hair up into a topknot.
I grabbed the baseball bat standing by his bed and swaggered out of his room, heading through to the lounge and resting it against my shoulder like a total douche in a perfect impression of Kyan.
“Hey dude-bros, guess where Kyan’s only clean pants in the house are?” I rounded to face them and Saint’s jaw dropped, Blake burst out laughing and Kyan looked like he was caught between jumping me and laughing his head off. I shook my hips tauntingly. “Hmm, I think I’m gonna go roll in the mud with the rest of your pants.” I raced for the door and Kyan tore after me like a charging rhino.
“Oh no you don’t!” He snatched me around the waist, lifting me into the air and the bat dropped from my hand with a clatter as it hit the floor. I shrieked as he carried me back to the lounge and threw me down on the couch ungracefully. I laughed as he fell over me and I punched him square in the chest, but wasn’t really putting any strength into it. He grinned wickedly as he grabbed the belt and started unbuckling it as I wriggled beneath his weight.
“Fuck, you’ve never looked so hot, baby. Do I look this good all the time?” He got the belt free and yanked the pants down, exposing my panties to him as my skirt was all bunched up over my thighs. He ripped them down my legs, but before he could get them off fully, Blake dove over the couch and knocked him off of me onto the floor.
“Run Cinders!” he called as he fought to keep Kyan down and I laughed.
I scrambled over the back of the couch, hoisting Kyan’s pants up around my waist with both hands as I ran for the front door, only to find Saint blocking my way. He folded his arms, his mouth twisted up into an amused smile and I stuck my tongue out at him before skirting him and sprinting in the direction of Kyan and Blake’s rooms.
“Guess I’ll follow the rest of your pants out the window, Ky!” I shouted and the sound of heavy footfalls pounded after me.
I made it into his room, shoving the window open, swinging one leg out when firm hands dragged me back. I found Kyan holding me, whipping me around to face Blake across the room who had the baseball bat in his grip.
“Stop or I’ll kill the hostage,” Kyan taunted, sliding a hand around my throat. “I could snap her neck in one movement.”
I knew he was joking, but it still sent a tremor up my spine because I had the feeling he was entirely capable of doing that.
Blake lifted the bat like it was a gun, shutting one eye as if he was aiming down the barrel. “I’ve never missed a target in my life, motherfucker.”
Saint pushed through the door, silently slinking in behind Blake and holding two fingers to his temple like a gun. “Drop it, asshole.”
I snorted a laugh as Blake dropped the bat and lifted his hands in surrender.
“Kill the hostage,” Saint commanded Kyan and I screamed as he threw me on the bed, falling over me and starting to tickle me. Blake dived on me too, both of them tickling me everywhere and making me scream for mercy as pained laughs racked through my body.
“St-stop n-not funny!” I choked out through my laughter.
“Then why are you laughing, baby?” Kyan asked, his eyes glittering with amusement.
He ripped my pants off, getting off the bed as Blake caught my wrists and pinned me down beneath his chest. I gasped as he suddenly pressed his mouth to mine, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he crushed me into Kyan’s bed. My tongue met his and a moan left me as he clawed the elastic out of my hair and ran his fingers through it like he couldn’t get enough of me. He tasted sweet like my golden boy, the one I’d nearly fallen for all those weeks ago. But I could taste the darkness in him too, lacing my tongue with bitterness as well and I drowned in the space between it all.
When he pulled back, I was flustered and overly aware of Saint and Kyan watching us, both of them looking ready to kill someone.
I pushed Blake’s chest to make him get off of me and tugged my skirt down to cover my thighs.
“Punish him, then,” Saint snapped and I frowned, looking to Blake. I was tired of punishing him for kisses I wanted. Craved on a daily basis. So maybe it was time for a change…
I got to my feet, feeling Kyan’s scowl burning into my head as I walked past Saint and felt the three of them trailing after me to the kitchenette. I picked up a pen on my way there, pausing in front of the fridge and chewing my lip as I prepared to do something I never would have considered in a thousand years until now. I lifted my hand and struck off the rule No Kissing, then I tossed the pen on the counter and spun around to find the three of them caging me in as they stared at what I’d done.
I cleared my throat, pushing through the middle of Blake and Kyan before grabbing my school bag and heading for the door. “See you later.”
I took one more glance over my shoulder at them as Blake scraped a hand through his hair, smirking while Kyan continued to glower. Shame you don’t kiss school girls, huh asshole? Not that I’d kiss you anyway.
Saint suddenly bitch slapped Blake in the face. “That’s for the kiss. You did it before she struck out the rule.”
“Worth it,” Blake laughed and Saint scowled.
I kicked my shoes on and hurried outside, unable to wipe the grin off my face as I went. Those boys were a world of trouble, but sometimes…they were a world of fun too.
***
As the day I was due to meet my dad drew closer, I started to grow anxious about how I was going to get off campus. And if I could manage it, was I really going to come back here afterwards? Maybe my dad didn’t want me following him, and if he really re
fused then I knew I wouldn’t be able to go with him. But that didn’t mean I had to come back to Everlake. Once I was outside of these walls, I could go anywhere. Was I prepared to do that though? Up and leave this place forever? Leave Monroe? And the others…what would they think?
I didn’t want to explore the ache in my chest at the thought of making that decision. I didn’t know what it meant and I didn’t want to. Mostly, I was avoiding thinking about it altogether. I’ll know when I’m out of here. Things will be clearer once I see Dad.
I walked into English class, my stomach growling for lunch already. Just one more lesson and I could eat. Not that my meals were whole lot of fun when Saint allowed me salads or soups for lunch still. I had to admit though, I was getting some pretty nice ab definition since I’d been forced onto his no fun diet and spent several evenings a week training. It wasn’t all bad. Especially now I got pizza once a week and junk food when staying with Monroe.
Mila sat beside me and the Night Keepers filled the row behind us like guard dogs. If they were X-Men, Saint would be Cyclops with laser eyes that melted people’s brains from fifty yards away, Kyan would be an angrier, more lethal Wolverine, Blake would be Pyro, capable of setting panties on fire at any distance and Monroe would be Angel because duh.
I glanced over my shoulder at the three boys behind me, chewing on the end of my pen as I watched them play rock, paper, scissors. Whoever won got to punch the loser and I rolled my eyes as Kyan gave Blake a dead arm, then I turned back to face the front of class again.
Miss Pontus walked in, trying to hush everyone even though no one was paying her any attention and she strode to her desk with a frown creasing her forehead. She picked up a note on it and looked to me with a raised brow. “Miss Rivers, Headmaster Monroe wishes to see you in his office.”
My heart lurched and I rose out of my seat, hearing three chairs pull back behind me.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 44