“I don’t want anything to do with Royaume D'élite,” I grunted. Or any of you, I added in my head. “There’s having no mercy and there’s having no morals. I don’t want to be a man without either.”
“We all have dreams of the kinds of men we want to be, but there are very few of us who have the privilege of getting to make that choice for ourselves in this world. My patience is wearing thin, Kyan. Your birth came with a purpose and you will fulfil it. Unfortunately for you, your ma couldn’t stomach your father lingering between her thighs often enough to make a backup so you’re the one and only.”
“If I’m that important then let me come back on my own terms,” I growled, plucking the cigarette from between my lips and stubbing it out aggressively.
“Don’t go mistaking importance with power,” Liam murmured in a low tone which had the hairs standing up along the back of my neck. “We need you alive. But your pretty little girlfriend is a different matter. And so are those fancy friends of yours. The Governor’s son might be hard to cover up, but no one gives a shit about the teacher. And even the footballer’s boy could disappear without too many questions being asked. Those celebrity type kids are always getting mixed up in drugs. One bad batch is all it would take.”
I didn’t bother to point out that Blake’s dad wasn’t a footballer and that he actually owned the fucking team. He was probably getting it wrong just to piss me off.
“You’re threatening my family, old man,” I snarled, my mind whirling as I tried to figure out which spineless cretin in this school was reporting back to my relatives. I was sure we’d chased the spies out last year, but if he knew about Tatum then he still had someone watching me. Maybe more than one person.
“No,” Liam replied calmly. “You’re an O’Brien. The only family you’ve got shares blood with me. And if you don’t remember that soon, I’ll happily relieve you of the distractions. I wonder what price your pretty little piece of ass would fetch at Royaume D'élite? It’s a shame you’ve broken her in really, virgins always sell better.”
I bit my tongue to stop myself from screaming and the line hung silent between us.
The eagle shrieked and took a dive out of the sky, plummeting towards the ground far below and taking the remains of my blackened heart with it.
“How soon?” I demanded eventually. He was nothing if not precise and I knew this threat would come with a deadline.
“Christmas. I’ll have you home for dinner with your family. You can bring the girlfriend too.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I ground out. “I have girls to fuck when the mood suits me, I’ve got no interest in anything more than that.”
“I’ll be sure to tell sweet Tatum you said that when I see her at Christmas. I’m sure she’ll be glad of the invite. Seeing as the last member of her family is on the run and all, I doubt she has any other plans.”
The line went dead before I could respond and I pushed to my feet with a roar of rage.
I swung around and threw my fist into the rock wall I’d been sitting against, my knuckles crunching as blood flew and agony exploded through them.
I damn near launched my phone over the cliff face for good measure, but if he tried to call me again and didn’t get through, I had no doubt he’d follow through on those threats and send someone up here.
I balled my fists and paced up and down as the rage in me turned deadly and my thirst for blood made my skin itch. I needed to do something to counter the utter fucking injustice of this and turn my mind from fantasies of hopping on my bike and riding down to Liam’s house with my fucking bat to cave his skull in along with those of all of my uncles. Some days I was certain that that was what this would come to in the end. If I wanted to live my own life, the cost of it was theirs. But the size and scope of their organisation meant that getting them all in one place for anything aside from a funeral or a wedding was practically impossible. But the next time they were going to gather I might just be tempted to host a fucking massacre.
Fuck my filthy blood and depraved family.
I ground my jaw as I tried to figure out what to do. Maybe it was time I faced my lies, my secrets. Did I really believe that Saint and Blake would turn their backs on me for what I’d done in that place? But if they did then I’d be left with nothing and no one and my fate would be sealed either way.
I cursed loudly and strode towards my dirt bike at a fast pace, leaping onto it and slamming my boot down on the kick start so that it roared to life. I ripped the throttle back and tore down the steep mountain paths way faster than was safe, enjoying the way the cold wind stung my skin and my heart leapt every time I came close to losing control of the machine beneath me.
I weaved around more and more thick tree trunks the further I descended, the bright midday sun lighting the forest all around me as the bike churned up mud and I dropped off of ledges and jumped fallen trunks.
By the time I reached the base of the mountain, adrenaline was coursing through my veins and my bad mood was almost lightening. But all it took was a single thought of that phone call to kill any enjoyment I might have been able to glean from the ride.
I tore up the paths that circled the lake and students screamed as they were forced to dive out of my way. I spotted Deepthroat falling on her ass as I nearly flattened her and laughed darkly to myself. Maybe a bit of Unspeakable hunting was what I needed. I was definitely starving for something to satisfy the monster in me.
I spun the bike off of the path as I neared The Temple then raced around the building towards the trees behind the church where there was an old outbuilding which Saint had gotten fixed up for me to store my bike. I’d make one of the Unspeakables come by and wash it later.
I rolled the bike inside and left it there before stalking back out and leaning against the stone wall of the little outbuilding.
I sighed heavily as I tried to decide what to do, pulling the pack of cigarettes from my pocket again and sparking one up as I kicked my foot back against the wall.
I closed my eyes as I inhaled the smoke and tried to fight against the desire to go and kick the shit out of anyone and everyone I could find. I wanted to feel the thump and thwack of my fists pounding flesh, feel the ache and burn of receiving blows myself and bathe in the blood of some deserving fucker who could put up a damn good fight.
I found myself thinking about the night we’d killed that asshole for Tatum. Trying to bury my rage in the memory of violence, but all it really did was increase my appetite. I really was a fucked up creature.
“I didn’t know you enjoyed a slow and lingering form of suicide as a pastime,” Tatum’s voice reached me and I cracked my eyes open to find her looking up at me.
She was wearing her running gear, headphones dangling around her neck and the tight clothes clinging to her body. Blake had gone out with her as none of us were willing to leave her on her own until this stalker shit had been dealt with, but I guessed they were back already. Fuck knows how long I’d been up the mountain pouting on my own.
“You want one?” I asked, offering up the pack of cigarettes as I took a took drag on my own again.
“Ew, no. You do realise this makes you like ten points less attractive, right? What’s the deal anyway? Do you just enjoy playing chicken with cancer or do you think you’re so fucking tough that there’s just no way you’ll ever get sick?”
I leaned towards her and blew my smoke in her face, making her scrunch her nose up in disgust. “Naw, baby,” I taunted. “I don’t think I’m too tough for cancer. I just think a more violent death is in my future so it doesn’t seem like there’s much point in me worrying about it.”
“Is…something wrong?” she asked, her brow creasing with concern and I let the cigarette hang out of the corner of my mouth as my gaze slid over her.
“Yeah. Have you come to bask in my pain?”
“No,” she snapped, having the nerve to sound offended. “It is possible for one person to care about seeing another in pain.”
“Maybe.”
For a moment the truth actually came to the tip of my tongue and I took a long drag on my cigarette as I considered giving it to her. It wasn’t like her opinion of me could get much lower anyway and today this truth was weighing on me more heavily than usual. Maybe offloading it would help.
“Or maybe I should just leave you here smoking and having a pity party for one,” she added as the silence stretched. “After everything you’ve done to me, it’s not like I owe you anything anyway.”
“If you really wanna help me out, baby, then why don’t you get on your knees and suck my dick for me like you did at Monroe’s initiation?” I snapped, the anger in me rising to the surface as I wondered why I’d even considered trusting her when I hadn’t trusted my brothers with this and my heart pounded with fury.
“Fuck you, Kyan,” she snarled, turning and stalking away from me but now that my gaze had fallen on my prey, I wasn’t willing to let her go.
“Alright, I’m feeling generous,” I called as I moved after her, catching her arm, whipping her around to look up at me and drowning my fears in the hatred I found in her blue eyes. “I’ll give you what you’ve been aching for and fuck you until you can’t think straight. Fair warning though, I’m in a foul mood and I’m rough as fuck, so you might wanna prepare yourself.”
“I don’t know why I even bothered,” she hissed, yanking her arm out of my grip. “Serves me right for trying to help you. But don’t worry, I’ve learned my lesson and I won’t ever attempt it again.”
Something shattered and fell apart in my chest as she glared at me with her eyes full of hatred, but all I did was glare right back at her.
“What the fuck is going on out here?” Saint’s voice interrupted us and Tatum looked at him as he stalked around The Temple towards us, but my eyes were glued on her.
I was gripping her arm too tightly, but the idea of her walking off on me right now was too fucking much along with everything else. But all I seemed to be able to do well with her recently was rile her up and drive her away, and I was so self-destructive that I couldn’t fucking stop it.
Saint stormed straight up to us and shoved me in the chest, forcing me to release her as I stumbled back a step.
“You knew what I’d fucking do if I ever caught you smoking again,” he snarled at me and I sucked in a final drag a moment before he snatched the cigarette from my mouth.
He spun it in his fingers and drove the cherry straight against my chest with a snarl of rage, stubbing it out as it burned right through my shirt and the pain of it cut into my flesh.
I stood my ground and glared at him as he held it there, his eyes flaring with fury as he burned me and I just fucking took it. Because why the hell not? I’d known exactly what he’d do when he caught me and some fucked up piece of me had wanted it so that at least one single part of my body would feel an inch of the pain my soul was drowning in right now.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Tatum yelled, her fist slamming into Saint’s jaw as she knocked him away from me with a snarl of rage and the cigarette went flying into the mud.
She looked up at me with real pain in her eyes like she was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me and like she actually gave a crap too.
Saint snarled in fury as he wheeled on her and I snatched her hand, yanking her behind me as I squared off against him.
“Back off,” I warned, my muscles bunching as I prepared to fight him if he tried to lay a finger on her.
“If you think for a single second that I’m going to let her get away with punching me without a punishment-”
“No,” I snarled. “You wanna punish someone then come for me.”
Saint rubbed his jaw where she’d hit him and my grip on her hand tightened as I kept her behind me and she tried to move to face him. But there was no way I was letting her out from my protection until I knew she didn’t need it anymore.
“The two of you don’t need to get into a dick measuring contest,” Tatum growled behind me. “But I’m going inside with Kyan, right now to see what the fuck you’ve just done to his chest and patch him up.”
I frowned at the note of concern in her voice and Saint glowered at me for a long moment before grunting his agreement.
“Fine. But I’ll be dealing with both of you later. If you can’t get to the bottom of his shit, Barbie, then I’ll be doing it my way. And you’d better be ready to pay for striking me.” He snatched the packet of cigarettes from my pocket and scrunched them up until they crumbled and tobacco sprinkled all over the floor. “And if your family is causing shit, then I want the full explanation, not some watered down bullshit,” he warned me before turning and stalking away.
Tatum tugged on my hand and I frowned at her as she drew me towards The Temple, letting her pull me along as I wondered what the hell she even wanted from me. A minute ago she’d been glaring at me with hatred and now she was acting like some little burn on my flesh actually hurt her more than it did me.
I stayed silent as she drew me around to the door, watching as Saint headed off up the path towards Ash Chambers.
I was surprised he was willing to leave us to it. But I guessed he’d figured out that if he’d stayed, we’d be brawling in the mud by now. He wouldn’t wanna mess up his fancy clothes. And maybe it was that. Or maybe it was the way Tatum had looked at him like she wanted to skin him alive for stubbing that cigarette out on my skin.
She pulled me into the church and left me standing by the dining table as she moved away to start rummaging in one of the cupboards in the kitchenette.
“Take your jacket off,” she commanded as she pulled a first aid kit out and headed to the freezer. “And your shirt if the material isn’t burned to your skin. And sit up on the table.”
I shrugged out of my jacket and yanked my ruined shirt off too. I was pretty sure the sharp tug and explosion of pain that came from the burn told me it had been melted to my skin but it wasn’t anymore.
I looked down at the round mark and was pleased to find he’d missed my tattoos, the burn sitting on a small patch of bare skin just above my heart. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d aimed carefully to hit that exact spot too. Saint was nothing if not exact.
“Christ,” Tatum hissed as she approached me with the first aid kit in one hand and a bowl of ice cubes in the other. “What the hell was he thinking doing that to you?”
“When I quit smoking, I asked him to do that if he ever caught me lighting up again,” I supplied. There were a few things my family had given me which I couldn’t really help, my craving for nicotine was one that I could leave behind and I intended to strip myself of as much of them as I physically could.
Tatum frowned at me as she took that in then shook her head. “I don’t know if that request is more fucked up or him actually doing it is,” she muttered.
“If you hadn’t realised how twisted we are yet then you can’t have been paying attention,” I said in a low voice. “You bound yourself to a group of broken creatures when you joined us, baby.”
“Don’t I know it,” she huffed.
I leaned back to sit on the dining table like she’d told me and she moved to stand between my thighs as she placed her supplies down beside me and inspected the wound.
“My dad taught me a bunch of first aid, but it was more wound care in case I got injured while we were out in the woods other than burns…” she muttered, biting into her bottom lip as she inspected the inflamed skin on my chest and I inspected her. She really was beautiful. Captivating. The kind of girl who didn’t really exist, like a fantasy given flesh.
I watched as she lifted an ice cube and pressed it to the burn, the contrast in temperature almost made me flinch and the pain intensified as she looked back up into my eyes.
“Do you get off on hurting me?” I asked her and I wasn’t even sure if I was talking about the burn or…something else.
/> “I’m literally standing here trying to patch you up right now and you’re asking me that?”
“It’s just…ice make burns worse, not better. I wasn’t sure if that was the point, or-”
She snatched the ice cube away from my skin and frowned between it and me. “Cold makes burns better,” she disagreed and I was a little surprised to see that she really had been meaning to help me and not just revel in my pain. There weren’t many people who I could say cared about me enough to look after me in that way in my life.
“Ice is too cold,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t mention the fact that I knew that because my uncle Connor had once tortured a man to death using fire and ice right in front of me. I was twelve at the time. In fact, it was my birthday. Kinda hard to forget a gift like that. His weapons of choice had been a little more powerful than a cigarette and an ice cube though so I wasn’t too concerned for my life.
“Then why did you let me put it on the burn?” Tatum demanded as she whipped out her phone and googled it.
“Because I figure if you’re aching to hurt me then I probably deserve at least some of what you want to dish out.”
“You do,” she agreed fiercely. “But, I don’t want to hurt you. I just feel like I have to. Because of everything you’ve all done to me.”
“Liar,” I growled and she looked up at me sharply.
“I wasn’t like this before I met you assholes.”
“That’s called growth, baby,” I said in a low voice. “Just because you hadn’t explored this part of yourself before doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. You can’t tell me you don’t like it. I’ve seen the way your eyes light up in a fight. You’ve got the bloodlust in you, just like me.”
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 46