I moved towards it, but instead of getting in, I leapt up on top of it. The roof buckled a little beneath my weight but it held and I barked a laugh as I got my balance.
“C’mon, Toby, up you get,” I urged and he laughed nervously before climbing up on top of Chad’s cart too.
“Let’s race all the way around to The Hemlock Library,” I said, wanting to go visit my Cinderella and make sure she wasn’t being stalked by the ugly step sisters while she worked. “Take the mountain path - there’s more hills,” I added as Danny started the cart up again.
“Sure thing, boss,” he called and my stomach lurched as the cart started moving.
I stood upright and laughed as we began to move uphill. The carts had a top speed of about thirty miles per hour, but they needed to build up to that and be heading downhill to achieve it too.
“Winners get the glory,” I called as we began to move faster and my boots slipped on the slick roof. “Losers get to jump in the lake butt naked before class tomorrow!”
Danny whooped excitedly as he put the pedal to the floor and the electric motor whirred as it fought a battle against the hill.
I managed to stay upright until we crested the hill, but as we began to pick up speed and we descended on the other side, I almost slipped and fell, dropping into a squat and grabbing the edge of the roof to save myself just before I did.
I laughed as adrenaline rocketed through my veins, burning through my grief and letting me forget. Just for a little while. Just long enough.
We were ahead of the other cart but Chad was grinning ferociously and as he nosed it up beside us, he swung the wheel around, ramming us hard enough to make the cart wobble precariously.
I probably should have bitched him out about it but my heart was leaping and pounding in the best fucking way and as we sped up the next hill, I couldn’t help but laugh at the feeling of the icy wind tangling through my black hair and messing it the fuck up.
We rounded corners at breakneck speed, the carts almost toppling more than once as they lifted up onto two wheels before slamming back down onto the path again.
This was going to end badly, I could fucking tell. And yet I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to bathe in the manic laughter tearing from our lips and soak it all into my soul so that I could sleep well tonight, knowing that there was more to my life than fucking pain and sorrow and regret.
Up and up the mountain paths we climbed, the carts topping out between fifteen and twenty miles an hour as they struggled with the ascent, but I didn’t care. Because around the next bend was the steepest damn hill on campus. And I was willing to bet we could push these little beauties up to fifty miles an hour if we free fell down that.
Toby was taunting me as Chad managed to pull his cart up level with ours and I ducked even lower so the wind resistance wouldn’t cost us the race as I fought to make my body as small as possible.
The carts rounded the bend and the path dropped away before us, a yell of excitement passing my lips as we shot over the top of the hill and suddenly found ourselves flying downhill.
I yelled in exhilaration and more than a little fear as we rolled faster and faster, the library appearing through the trees up ahead and students diving off of the path before us as they saw us coming.
Chad and Danny started ramming the carts into each other, making me rock and sway wildly on the roof and Toby even shouted out for them to slow down.
“We’d better fucking win this, Danny!” I commanded because if I lost then this whole damn thing would be for nothing. My mood would drop faster than a whore’s panties on pay day and I’d be back to goddamn moping all over again.
We sped up but Chad did too, ignoring Toby’s protests as he swerved away from us and we raced towards the library. We were inching ahead, but not by much and I started cursing beneath my breath as desperation clawed at me. I had to win. It wasn’t a fucking option to lose. There was no way I could accept being anything but the best. It was my defining fucking feature.
We shot towards the library at high speed and I whooped in victory a second too soon. Chad swerved back towards us with a howl of defiance and the front of his cart took out our back wheel.
Our cart spun out wildly and I clung to the roof for dear life as the world blurred and my fingers cut into the metal as I fought to cling on.
We were going way too fast as we shot straight towards the wooden doors which fronted the library, the finish line spurring us on.
There was a horrible sound of grinding metal and Danny cursing and then all of a sudden the cart hit something, the back end lurching skywards and bucking me off of it with the impact.
I flew through the air with a shout of panic for several achingly long moments where all I could think was this is really going to hurt.
My back hit something hard but it gave way and I was falling again, cursing as I slammed down onto rough carpet and rolled so many times that I couldn’t have counted if I’d tried.
I finally crashed into a desk and I wheezed as I flopped down onto my back, my entire body crying out with pain as I dragged in a shuddering breath.
“Holy fuck, Blake! What happened?” Tatum’s voice found me and suddenly I was looking up at her beautiful face as she stared down at me in concern.
It took me another moment to figure out what had happened. I’d crashed into the library doors and they’d burst open at the impact, allowing me to keep falling and rolling until I’d come to a halt inside. Right where my girl was waiting for me. Like it was fate.
I tried to say something to her but my lungs were too focused on dragging in ragged breaths to allow words just yet.
“Shit man, I’m sorry!” Danny’s voice came as he ran into the library and I was vaguely aware of a crowd gathering around me, but my gaze was fixed on Tatum. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jesus, I didn’t mean to, Chad took us out and, crap, oh fuck, oh shit, oh balls, oh-”
“Can someone shut him up?” Tatum snarled.
“What the hell, Danny?” Mila demanded. “What did you do?” I spotted her swinging a text book over her head and he cursed as she struck him with it, the noises coming again and again as she kept demanding an explanation and they moved further away from us.
“I, need…” I gasped, the pain in my body taking my breath away for a second. But I could wriggle my fingers and toes, there wasn’t the blinding burn of a break to be felt. I was just battered and bruised. And who really gave a shit about that? Because I’d fucking won. First to the library. No one could say I did shit by halves.
“What is it, Blake?” Tatum asked, her blue eyes wide with concern as she leaned right down over me.
“I need…one last kiss before I die,” I whispered, doing a good impression of a death rattle deep in my chest.
“What?” she demanded, but I reached up suddenly and caught the back of her neck, dragging her down as I reared up and pushed my tongue between her lips before she could stop me.
She melted for a moment and I growled hungrily as I kissed her with all the fuel of the adrenaline that I’d just been swimming in.
I caught her waist and dragged her down on top of me. I wondered if I asked the crowd to fuck off real nicely they’d do it so that I could bury my dick in her and get her screaming my name. There was nothing like dicing with death to get the blood rushing to my cock and there was only one girl who I wanted to put all of that thrashing energy into pleasing.
Before I could get too lost in my dirty fantasy, she yanked herself away from me and stood up with a haughty expression on her swollen lips.
“What the fuck, Blake?” she demanded. “You could have died pulling stupid shit like that.”
I barked a laugh because it actually sounded like she gave a crap and wasn’t that just fucking ironic after everything I’d done to her?
“Are you giving me a view up your skirt on purpose, Cinders?” I teased as I took a peek at the lavender thong I could see from my vantage point. “Or is it a happy coincidence?”
“Are you dru
nk?” she demanded, backing up a bit to rob me of my view.
“No,” I replied. “I came to pick you up.”
“I thought Saint was coming. Can you even stand?”
I groaned a bit as I got to my feet, but I was pleased to find that my initial assessment had been right. Nothing broken, just a bit battered.
I dusted off my jeans and offered her my arm with a grin as blood slid over my bottom lip.
“I can stand,” I announced dramatically, glaring around at the lemmings to warn them that now was the time to fuck right off. They scattered obligingly and I got a little kick from the power I wielded over them.
Tatum frowned as she moved closer to me, a war of rage and concern taking place behind her eyes.
She reached out to swipe the blood from my lip and I smirked roguishly at her.
“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” she asked seriously.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it was fun.”
For some reason, my answer seemed to upset her and she sighed before heading away to grab her stuff.
I shot Saint a message to let him know I was escorting her back and I tried not to hobble as I headed outside. The golf cart looked a little worse for wear with its front end kinda smashed up against the bottom step before the library, but I managed to shove it away from the concrete it had crumpled around and was pleased to find it still ran okay.
Mila was bitching Danny out for almost getting both of us killed and he was hanging his head as he tried to explain himself, looking the picture of whipped as he failed to impress her with his apologies.
I hopped into the cart behind the wheel and Tatum reluctantly followed me into it a moment later, tossing her bag on the back seat as I started the drive back home.
Chad and Toby were suspiciously absent with their cart and I was willing to bet they were trying to cover up their involvement in the whole thing like a pair of pussies. I’d rat them out to Monroe just for running off without checking I wasn’t dead and laugh while he gave them detention and let me off scot-free.
“Do you make a habit of crashing golf carts all over campus?” Tatum asked as we zipped along the paths and I wasn’t sure if she was amused or not.
“Nope,” I replied. “But I do make a habit of trying new things for fun.”
Silence stretched between us and then she sighed.
“After I lost Jess, I stole my dad’s car one night, got in it and drove down the highway at full speed just to feel…well, anything other than what I was feeling,” she said and my gut twisted at her words. How was it that she was able to dissect me so completely with a single sentence? Give me one look and see all of the pain that no one else ever seemed to notice and realise exactly how hard I was fighting to keep it contained?
“Oh yeah?” I asked gruffly. “And did it work?”
“For a little while,” she agreed. “But when the grief came for me again, it dug its claws in that bit harder.”
I hummed beneath my breath, but I didn’t really have anything constructive that I could say to that. She was right, it would hurt more when I let myself feel it again, but I still kept doing this shit. I needed the reprieve. However long it lasted. Whatever it cost me to claim it.
We pulled up outside The Temple and I grabbed her bag from the back, carrying it inside for her as she followed me.
“You wanna watch TV in my room with me before dinner, Cinders?” I asked her casually as we approached the door. I was really asking if she wanted to come in and spend several hours making out with me, letting me worship her as I kept my grief at bay a little longer and I was pretty sure she knew it.
She looked up at me, an answer sitting on her lips, but before she could give it, the door swung open and Saint was there, frowning at me before narrowing his eyes on her.
“I hear you crashed a golf cart into the library,” he said, glancing at me again, his lips twitching in amusement.
“That’s a vicious rumour,” I joked.
“There’s videos online,” he added.
“Faked,” I joked and he quirked a smile.
“Fair enough. Come along, Barbie, there’s time for your punishment before dinner.” He offered her his hand and she glanced at me again, an apology in her eyes like she knew how much I didn’t want to be alone right now. Or maybe I was just imagining that. Because she placed her palm in his and the two of them disappeared off to his room up on the balcony and I was left with a sinking feeling in my gut and the grief creeping back in again.
I tossed the front door closed behind me and sighed as I headed to the fridge to pull out a six pack of beers. I dropped onto the couch and pulled the Xbox control into my lap as I cracked one open, wondering if Kyan might appear to join me soon or if I’d have to wallow in my own company tonight. Either way, the adrenaline was starting to fade and my body was beginning to ache. But it had been nice to forget for a little while.
***
I woke to music echoing around The Temple and my body aching all over as I realised I’d fallen asleep on the couch.
“Fuck,” I groaned as I pushed myself upright, squinting around as my head pounded and my swollen tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“Get up, get showered and get ready to catch a stalker,” Saint growled behind me and I damn near leapt out of my skin.
“What?” I asked.
“While you were drinking yourself into oblivion last night, the rest of us were preparing to catch the stalker. So get up, sober up and let’s go.”
I groaned as I dropped my face into my hands and someone nudged me with a cool glass. I accepted the water and looked up to find Tatum watching me as I drank it down. She offered me some painkillers too and I grunted a thanks as my head pounded.
I forced myself to get to my feet and frowned as I realised it was still dark out.
“What time is it?” I croaked, heading to the sink to get a second glass of water.
“Four am,” Monroe’s voice came from the doorway and I looked around in surprise to find him drinking a cup of coffee as he waited for us to get ready.
“Why the fuck are we doing this at four am?” I grouched. If we’d waited until a reasonable hour, I might have slept off some more of this fucking alcohol.
“Because, it requires the element of surprise to catch someone like this,” Saint purred.
“Where’s Kyan?” I asked.
“Still asleep. But feel free to go wake him for me,” Saint suggested and I groaned as I stomped down the hall towards Kyan’s room.
“Wake up, asshole!” I shouted as I burst in on him.
“You can’t just ride a tiger,” he mumbled. “You gotta earn the trust of a big pussy like that first…”
I eyed the hunting knife which was wedged beneath his pillow with concern and crossed into the bathroom, taking a piss to relieve myself before grabbing a tube of toothpaste and heading back into his room.
I leaned forward and squirted a generous dollop of minty freshness onto his open palm then moved around the side of the bed, blowing gently on his ear so that his hair fluttered over it, tickling him.
It took three attempts before he slapped at the tickle and a roar of rage left him as toothpaste splattered everywhere.
I was running before he was even upright, a laugh tearing from my lips as he took chase. I darted back to the others and put the couch between us as he charged into the room with that fucking knife in his grip and toothpaste all over one side of his face.
“Enough!” Saint bellowed as Tatum started laughing and Monroe barked a surprised laugh too. “Save that aggression for the stalker. Today’s the fucking day.”
Kyan cursed me as he turned and stormed back to his room, managing not to stab anyone as he went and slamming the door behind him.
I poured myself a coffee to help with the hangover and jumped in surprise as a warm hand curled around mine.
“How are things this morning?” Tatum breathed and that look in her eyes said she really did care, even though I
had no right to expect that from her.
“Not as dark,” I admitted, because it was true. Some days my grief seemed like this monster in the room, terrifying and brooding and impossible to ignore. Others it was more like a weight I had to carry, but the load was manageable. At least most of the time.
She gave me a soft smile, squeezing again before releasing me as everyone gathered at the door in their coats and boots. I hurried to pull mine on too, tugging a hat down over my hair and falling in amongst everyone as we headed out into the frosty night.
Everything was quiet as we walked up the path, the soft hoot of an owl echoing over the lake as our breath rose in clouds around us. Tatum walked in the middle of our group and there was something about that which just felt right. Like that was where she belonged. Between us all.
I didn’t bother to ask where we were going as we headed up towards the main part of campus. If we were looking for the stalker then I guessed we were heading for the dorms.
It was fucking freezing out, the world glittering silver in the moonlight and Tatum hugged her arms around herself as she shivered.
I moved to wrap an arm around her but before I could do it, Kyan got there first, tucking her close to him without a word despite the raging anger that I knew still boiled between them. Sometimes he surprised me with the shit he did. Like, he was always the biggest, meanest asshole in the room but from time to time he’d just let it slip how big his heart really was without meaning to.
She was still shivering even with his arm around her and after a moment’s hesitation, I wrapped my arm around her too from the other side.
She glanced at me in surprise and I winked at her. “We made you come together, sweetheart, I think we can keep you warm together too. Why do you look so shocked?”
Monroe cleared his throat and moved to walk ahead of us a little, striding along at Saint’s side like a man on a mission.
“I guess because…there’s nothing in this for either of you,” she said in a low voice, like the idea of us just holding her to be nice or because we wanted to look after her didn’t occur to her. Or it did and it was such a fucking alien concept that she couldn’t comprehend it.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 53