“You’re not going to go back to just being my teacher again now, are you, Nash?” Tatum asked, her gaze flickering with vulnerability for a moment.
I leaned forward slowly, cupping her cheek in my hand and making her look at me when she tried to turn away.
“I fought this so hard because I knew you’d be the end of me, Tatum Rivers,” I said in a low voice. “I knew it the first moment I laid eyes on you, when you tripped me up with your fucking suitcase and when you called me an asshole right to my face. I could taste danger in the air every time I was near you and I had to fight with everything I had not to give in to what I wanted from you. What I needed. And every moment we spent together since has only made it harder to resist. Do you really think I could deny this now? Do you believe I could pretend that this hadn’t happened between us?”
I caught her hand in mine and laid it over my heart as I leaned in to kiss her, slowly, deeply, telling her everything I couldn’t put into words with the movements of my mouth against hers and letting her feel the way my heart pounded faster and faster with every moment we remained connected as one.
“Did you mean what you said?” she breathed as I slid my hands around her hips and started backing her up, crossing the single room which made up the cabin. The fire was roaring now and it warmed the air enough to make up for the chill trying to get in from outside.
“Which part?” I ran my hands up until I was peeling her shirt over her head and I groaned at the sight of her black lace bra with her pink nipples showing through the fabric.
“What you said when you came back,” she murmured, clearly not wanting to say the words in case I hadn’t meant to utter them.
I tossed her shirt aside as I bumped her back up against the kitchen counter and I lifted her up to sit on the edge of it as I ran my mouth down her neck, peeling her bra strap over her shoulder so that I could suck her nipple into my mouth. Tatum groaned, fisting her hand in my hair as I swirled my tongue around the hardened flesh, dragging my teeth across it and tugging until she gasped before looking back up at her.
“The bit where I said you were one of the only people I’ve ever really cared about?” I asked in a low voice and her eyes widened as I pushed her thighs apart and I couldn’t help but drop my gaze to take in every inch of her body bared before me. I’d imagined this so many fucking times that I just needed to drink in the reality of it.
“Yeah,” she panted. “It’s okay if you don’t, I just-”
I kissed her hard and soft at once, worshiping her mouth with mine as I brushed a hand up her spine and unclasped her bra. She tossed it aside and I palmed her breasts with a hungry growl as our kiss turned filthy and my dick hardened even more in my jeans with a desperate desire to claim her again.
“I haven’t felt anything close to this about anyone in a long fucking time,” I said against her lips. “And I’m not going to lie to you, I’m a dark and broken soul. I’m never going to stop going after Troy Memphis. If it kills me to destroy him then I’m okay with that. I can’t promise you a fancy house and two point four kids. I can’t even promise you tomorrow. And I’m not asking you to promise me anything. This…us…it isn’t going to be easy. It isn’t going to be clean and pretty, but I want to give you the pieces of me that aren’t totally corrupted. I want to give you whatever good and decency I’m capable of giving. I want to protect you and worship you and help you destroy your enemies. So yeah, I care about you Tatum Rivers, and I want you even though I shouldn’t and you’d be better off with literally anyone else. And all I want from you is this, whenever we’re free to be us. Even if that’s not often at all. Even if it’s only right here and now and you’re about to leave me and never come back.”
“Nash,” she breathed, her voice raw and unsure and aching.
“I’m not looking for you to say anything or commit to me,” I said in a low voice. “In fact, I don’t want you to. If I made you fall in love with me then that would probably be the greatest sin I’d ever committed.”
“What do you want then?” she asked breathlessly as I teased her body and tasted her lips and worked her until she was panting for me again.
“Right now, I’ve got a point to prove.”
“What point?” she asked.
“I think the exact wording was that arrogant assholes like me don’t know a G-spot from our elbows and wouldn’t be able to find your clit with a map and GPS…”
Her lips popped open and an embarrassed laugh spilled from her lips as I reminded her of what she’d said to me back in my office the first time I’d tried to put her into line. I’d known right then that I was in trouble with her.
“Erm, I didn’t really mean-”
I pushed two fingers inside her, curving them around and making her cry out in surprise as she grabbed my biceps to brace herself.
“Do you know how many times I’ve laid awake at night imagining exactly how I’d like to prove that statement wrong?” I growled as I circled my thumb on her clit and she gasped again.
“Okay,” she moaned, “You’ve made your point.”
“No, princess. Not yet, I haven’t.” I dropped to my knees before her, lifting her feet and placing them on my shoulders. She was still wearing her thick socks but they were the only items of clothing I’d left her with. When she reached out to pull them off, I knocked her hand aside with a wicked grin.
“You want me to leave them on?” she asked as I pumped my fingers inside her and took in the view of her writhing in pleasure for me.
“Yeah.”
“Why? Have you got a sock fetish?”
“No. But I want you to remember this every time you wear woolly winter socks for the rest of your damn life,” I teased. “And once I’ve proved to you that I know exactly where your G-spot, clit and every other goddamn pleasure point down here is too, I know you’ll remember it. And then I’m going to fuck you until you can’t breathe and make up for every single time I had to force myself to walk away from you and deny us both what we’ve been aching for.”
“Those are pretty big words,” she panted. “You think you’re that good, Mr Monroe?”
“Don’t do that,” I growled, not wanting her to play up to that teacher shit with me. That wasn’t us. It was the least of our connections and I wished it wasn’t one at all.
Before she could reply, I pushed forward, forcing her to bend her legs so her knees were up by her chest as her feet stayed on my shoulders and I dropped my mouth between her thighs.
The only things that left her lips after that were moans, curses and my name over and over and over again until I should have been sick of hearing it, but all I wanted was for her to scream it even more and I was going to make sure she did.
When I finally untangled myself from Monroe and he’d thoroughly proven he knew where my G-spot was - five freaking times - I got dressed and started pacing the room as I waited for my dad to arrive. Thank god he hadn’t shown up twenty minutes ago when Monroe had been so deep inside me, I’d forgotten what planet I was on, let alone why I was here.
I chewed on my lip, skimming my eyes across the room that I knew so well. I’d come here on countless trips in my lifetime, but I’d never had anyone outside my family visit. The first one who did had defiled the place so thoroughly that I was half tempted to start scrubbing all the spots he’d claimed me in. I replayed each time in my mind with a stupid smile on my face and my heart began to race all over again. Dammit, I need to concentrate. This isn’t the time to start up forbidden love affairs with my teacher. Correction: headmaster. Jesus.
I’d cleaned up the vase he’d broken when he’d tossed my boots across the room and hoped my dad wouldn’t notice when he arrived. It was going to be pretty difficult to explain why Monroe’s shirt was missing too (which we’d burned because that was not going anywhere it could be found by my freaking dad).
Monroe carried two mugs of coffee from the kitchen and I got to my feet from the bed with a word of thanks as he placed them down on the night s
tand. He’d boiled water over the fire and everything, it had been damn cute to watch. I smiled shyly at him as the air between us filled with all the unspeakable things we’d just done to each other. Somehow, of everywhere we’d screwed, devoured and owned each other, we hadn’t landed our asses on a single bed.
He eyed his bare chest, suddenly seeming uncertain of himself. “Should I go?”
“No,” I said immediately, unsure why I was wholeheartedly sure that I didn’t want him to leave now. Or ever again. Just because we’d given in to our urges, that didn’t mean we could be together in the real world like an actual couple. How would it work? But then again, even thinking about not repeating tonight at our very next opportunity made my heart start to rip apart at the seams.
No, I needed him in my life. I wasn’t sure how or in what way exactly. But somehow, we’d make it work. If he wanted it as well obviously…and judging by the way he’d fucked me, I didn’t think he’d be letting me go anywhere any time soon. There was just the small matter of my father being on the run and this whole night making me wonder if I was even going back to Everlake.
I moved across the space parting us, taking his hand and a smile pulled at his mouth. He tugged me into his chest, wrapping me in his arms and I dissolved against him.
“Stay here,” I sighed. “I want him to meet you. Besides, he might not arrive for hours.”
“True,” he growled then shoved me back against the wall, making my heartbeat quicken as he penned me in. “You’re in trouble if that’s the case though, princess.”
“Step away from my daughter,” my dad’s booming voice filled the room and my heart leapt as Monroe flinched back, raising his hands in innocence as he turned towards him.
Dad had a pistol pointed at him as he stepped into the lounge. He must have come in around the back of the house and I just hoped he hadn’t been lurking out there for long or he would have heard…things. He was dressed in all black, his stubble grown to a beard to cover most of his face, but I would have known him anywhere.
“Dad,” I gasped. “It’s okay, he’s with me.”
He didn’t lower the gun, his eyes narrowed on Monroe’s naked chest.
“I’m not here to cause trouble, sir,” Monroe said earnestly.
“I’ll decide whether you’re trouble or not,” Dad growled then his eyes swung to me through his dark rimmed glasses. “Who is he, kiddo? And where’s his damn clothes?”
“He spilled coffee on his shirt. And he’s…” I wet my lips, figuring it was best to lie. “My boyfriend.” Monroe could pass for my age, especially in the low light of the cabin. “And he’s protected and cared for me my entire time at Everlake. Which is more than I can say for you,” I accused hotly.
I hadn’t planned on being angry, but now Dad was standing in front of me pointing a gun at a man I deeply cared about, all my emotions welled up and drowned me.
Dad lowered the gun, but didn’t put it away, his eyes creasing at the corners. “That true?” he asked of Monroe. “You’ve been looking out for my daughter?”
“As best I can,” he confirmed. “Though things haven’t been easy on her since everyone at school knows she’s related to the man who released a deadly virus on the world.”
My heart pounded like crazy and I stepped toward Dad with so many questions, but I knew which one I had to ask first. The one that had been eating me alive like locusts in my brain for weeks on end. “Did you do it? Is what they’re saying on the news true?”
Dad sighed, taking a step closer to me like he longed to drag me into his arms, but I didn’t want to let my walls down until I heard the answer to this. No matter how much I ached for that too.
“I took the virus from the Apollo Company, yes,” he started.
“But?” I asked, desperate for there to be a but. Please be a but.
“But, I didn’t unleash it on the world, Tater-tot. I wouldn’t do that. Everything that’s happened since that day has been…” He shook his head and I realised how tired he looked. Goddamn exhausted. The relief at hearing him say that and the truth written across his features finally gave me the answer I needed and it felt like the entire weight of the sky lifting from me. He didn’t do it.
I directed him to the little table and chairs by the window on the other side of the room and he gave Monroe a suspicious glance before walking towards it.
“I won’t say more in front of him.” Dad sank into a chair and placed the gun on the table.
I looked to Monroe apologetically and he stepped forward, squeezing my arm. “I’ll wait outside. Just call if you need me.”
“Okay.”
He pressed forward and kissed me boldly and my breath hitched as I automatically leaned into it. Then he was gone just as fast, striding to the front door and opening it, pausing for a moment as he looked to my dad. “Just so you know, sir, you have raised an exceptional daughter who I care for very much. And I’m not saying that to be an asskisser. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck if you like me or not. But I’m telling you because I will stand against anyone who hurts her. Even if that someone is her own father.”
My heart did a mad backflip at his words and Dad eyed him, his fingers trailing over his gun. “A man is made by his actions not his words. If she says you’ve looked after her then I believe you. But until I see it for myself, son, I won’t be giving this relationship my approval.”
I tutted as Monroe stepped outside and shut the door. “Do you really have to act like we’re in the eighteen hundreds? I don’t need your approval, I can date whoever I like.”
“I’m your dad, kiddo. And when you have children one day, you’ll wanna protect them from the wronguns of this world.”
A frown pulled at my features as I walked towards him where he sat at the table. “And what if they found me anyway?” I whispered. “And what if I fought them and tamed them, made them hurt for hurting me?”
“Then I’ve raised you right.”
He smiled, I smiled. And my heart crushed to dust as I fell into his lap like a little girl again and he pulled me against him with the entirety of his body like he never wanted to let me go. His familiar scent of the wilderness and fire smoke made my eyes brim with tears. But I couldn’t just stay in his arms. I needed answers. So many answers.
He laid a kiss on my forehead before I pulled away, moving to sit opposite him and taking a steadying breath to get my thoughts in order.
“Tell me everything,” I said evenly, taking in the bags beneath his eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks and the new flecks of grey in his beard that spoke of the stress he’d been through recently.
He took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes before putting them back on and surveying me with a sad smile. “I’m so sorry this happened. It wasn’t meant to be this way…”
“What way was it meant to be?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice from rising.
“It starts with Jess,” he croaked, his face constricting as he said her name. “Before we lost her…the Apollo Company were running trials of the vaccine for the Hades Virus. Everything came back okayed from the team who were working on it. We got samples of the vaccine sent to our department and I was in charge of processing them.”
“So you took some?” I breathed, my lungs compressing.
He rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “There were hundreds of vials, kiddo. And a batch had gotten damaged during transportation. I had to dispose of them and I…figured a few of the ones that survived wouldn’t be missed. One for me, you and Jess. Just in case. I always liked to be prepared and this virus was deadly. I was working with it daily. One accident and I could be infected, bring it home to you and your sister. They were going to be offering it out to employees soon anyway, so what was the harm?” He choked on the last word and a tremor ran through my body as I knew what came next. “I was stupid to give it to you, to trust that the department had done their jobs properly. But it had been signed off, no vaccine should ever get that far without the proper trials,” he cursed, swiping a
t the sweat beading on his brow. “Me and you…we were okay. The vaccine worked, I guess, but then Jess…” A noise of pain escaped him. “I just wanted to protect you both, I just – I-” He started shaking and I took his hand, tears running down my cheeks as that old wound split open inside me and bled like a river. “I never would have given either of you something if I knew there was a chance, even the smallest chance of it hurting my children.”
“I know, Dad,” I said gently, tears still rushing down my cheeks. I did know. Truly. The pain in his eyes said it all. It was a terrible accident and one he would be in agony over until his dying day. How could I hate him for that? Punish him more than he’d obviously punished himself?
He wiped the tears from beneath his eyes, pulling himself together. “By the time I returned to work after her death, the vaccine I’d been processing had vanished. No mention of it, no paperwork. I couldn’t tell my boss, Dr Singh, what had happened without admitting that I’d stolen from the company. But I knew he knew. Things had changed between us. He didn’t fire me though, in fact, he kept promoting me, increasing my salary to extortionate amounts. I didn’t want to see it as hush money, but I knew that was what it was. And the longer I stayed there, the more bitter I became. The more suspicious I was of the entire corporation. And that was when I discovered the truth...”
“What truth?” I breathed, hanging on his every word.
“The Apollo Company weaponised the Hades Virus. I wasn’t meant to know, none of us were I suppose. But I was contacted by a CIA agent called Mortez a few months after Jess’s death. He told me everything. And he asked me to help the CIA, paid me lump sums to keep gathering intel for them. And I wanted to. I hungered for revenge against Singh. He must have signed off on those vaccines, allowed corners to be cut. And on top of that, now I knew he was planning to sell the virus and allow it to be used against innocent people in war,” he growled.
“So, what happened then?” I asked, my hands beginning to tremble as this knowledge washed over me.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 60