by Lisa Jordan
The sight of him scrambled her insides.
He reached her and touched her cheek. “Happy Grand Re-opening Day, Chef.”
His words sent a rush of tears to her eyes. She blinked them back and forced a smile. “Thank you. They’re beautiful. Not to sound rude and ungrateful, but you shouldn’t be back here, and I don’t have time to chat.”
He shot her a look she couldn’t read. Or couldn’t take the brainpower to process.
“No problem. I’ll carry these to the dining room.” Tucker pushed through the swinging kitchen door.
Isabella tried to pay attention to the brioche French toast to prevent it from burning, but the sound of Tucker’s laughter in the dining room challenged her focus.
He returned to the kitchen with a scowl on his face. “Why are you running this kitchen by yourself?”
“George walked out. Apparently, the dishwasher quit before the diner closed and a new one hasn’t been hired. Dad hasn’t made an appearance.”
“That’s not like Joe.”
“I know, but I can’t get away from the kitchen long enough to check on him.”
“I’ll head upstairs and see what’s going on, then I’ll come back down to give you a hand.”
Isabella needed to remind him he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen unless he was an employee, but the truth was, she didn’t care about rules right now. She was just relieved to have an extra pair of hands.
Tucker returned a few minutes later, a dark expression on his face. “Your dad’s in the shower now. He’ll be down shortly.”
“What’s going on?”
“Says he overslept.”
“Dad’s been awake at five every day for as long as I can remember.”
“I’m thinking it was more like a pity party with a solo guest. Your dad’s been dealing with a lot lately, and I’m sure all of the changes have him a bit rattled. He didn’t know George walked out, leaving you on your own.”
“So I’m drowning down here while he’s feeling sorry for himself? He’s not the only one dealing with changes.”
Tucker stood behind her and gave her arms a gentle squeeze. “I know. Let me pray for you, then I’ll give you a hand until Joe comes down.”
Isabella closed her eyes as Tucker’s murmured prayer washed over her. He concluded the prayer with an amen.
“Thank you for coming to my rescue once again, but you should be home sleeping.”
“Are you concerned about me?”
“I don’t want you in your sleep-deprived state lopping off a finger and messing up my kitchen.”
“Man, Bella, more sweet talk like that, and you’re going to have me falling for you.”
“We know that’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
The quiet tone of his voice caused her hand to still. Her eyes jerked to his face, finding all joking replaced with a serious expression.
Oh no...
Surely, he just messing with her. Because anything else was too much to accept right now.
Chapter Ten
Despite the shower he’d taken before leaving the station, the acrid scent of smoke hung in his memory, coupled with the screams of the young mother who’d fought against treatment to find her child. Thankfully, the firefighters located him, but the woman’s anguished cries at losing her husband in the blaze echoed in his ears.
Tucker pulled into the driveway, and the motion light above the garage activated, but the rest of the house remained shadowed and silent.
No glow in the windows welcoming him home. No one to talk with, to decompress from the tragedy that had struck their community.
With the twins staying at the farm tonight due to Tucker getting called out to help with a house fire, the place would be quiet.
Too quiet.
Maybe he could catch up on some homework. Or grab some necessary sleep.
He headed into the laundry room, wishing he’d at least remembered to leave the light above the stove on.
Rustling sounded in the kitchen. Probably Meno, who it seemed wasn’t going back to Willow’s, or maybe Dory trying to get her bearings.
He felt along the wall for the light switch in the kitchen and flicked it on.
“Surprise!”
Tucker jerked back, tripping over his own feet, and smashed his elbow against the doorjamb. Pain lanced his arm as his heartbeat thundered in his ears.
Dad, Claudia, Jake, Tori, Bella, Livie and Landon wore ridiculous emoji party hats. Red, yellow and green balloons had been taped all over the walls—apparently the twins’ decorating. Streamers trailed from the overhead light to the dining room table filled with a cake, bowls of popcorn, chips and M&M’s.
Livie and Landon ran over to him, jumping up and down while clapping their hands. “Did we surprise you, Daddy? Did we? Were you surprised?”
Tucker knelt and wrapped an arm around each one of them and then lifted them up in his arms, careful to keep the points of their party hats from poking him in the eyes. “Yes, I am. What’s all of this?” He looked over the twins’ heads, his eyes locking with Bella’s, who raised an eyebrow and shot him with a smile that nearly singed his insides.
“It’s your birfday party, Daddy.” Livie put a paper hat on his head.
“Aren’t I too old for parties?”
Landon shook his head. “Nope. You’re never too old. That’s what Izzie told us.”
“Is that right?”
With the twins still in his arms, he crossed the room to the table to find a homemade chocolate cake with thirty-two candles sitting next to emoji plates.
His eyes tangled with Bella’s.
She saw past his jokes. Fought to tear down his wall. Saw a need. And filled it.
He wanted to exchange the twins to have her in his arms.
Olivia threw her arms around Tucker’s neck. “Did you like your surprise, Daddy?”
“I sure did, punkin. Was this your idea?”
“Nope, it was Izzie’s. You need to give her a hug.”
“Is that right?” Tucker set Olivia down and looked at Bella. “I have you to thank for this?”
She shrugged. “You give to everyone else. You deserve to be celebrated.”
He reached for her. The moment his arms wrapped around her and the warmth of her touch flowed through him, he relaxed. He tightened his hold and wove his fingers through her hair.
“Thank you,” he muttered against her neck, his voice graveled and thready.
She pulled back and looked at him with concern. “You okay?”
“Rough day. A husband and young father died in a fire tonight trying to save his child.”
“How awful. So sorry.” She held him close and pressed a kiss against his jawbone.
For a moment, he stood there, allowing the heat of her embrace to seep into the cracks and crevices rocked apart by the injustice in the world.
Behind them, Dad cleared him throat. Bella dropped her arms and stepped back, her face brightening to a light shade of pink.
At the twins’ insistence, she lit the candles. Then after everyone sang to him, Livie and Landon helped blow out the candles and reminded him not to share his wish or else it wouldn’t come true.
As Bella sliced cake and scooped ice cream, he longed to confess his wish had come true—he’d found someone who had stolen his heart. Problem was, he wanted to be the one to claim hers. With her belief that falling in love only led to heartbreak, he just needed to take his time.
Nearly two hours later, close to ten, everyone else had left, leaving Tucker and Bella to get the sugar-infused bouncing kids settled into their beds. They’d insisted Izzie be the one to read stories, listen to their prayers and then shut off their lights. After kissing them goodnight, Tucker had headed for the living room.
Tucker wanted to curl up
in bed, too, but he still had an hour or two of homework. Stretched on the couch with his closed laptop on his chest, he closed his eyes and exhaled.
This pace was getting old, and he was in only his first year of school.
How was he going to keep this up?
“Hey, you okay?”
He opened his eyes to find Bella sitting on the edge of the coffee table, her eyes full of concern.
“Just tired.”
“And I tossed in a surprise party to add to your crazy day. I’m sorry.”
He reached for her hand. “No, don’t be sorry. What you did was so sweet.”
“I hope you don’t mind. Claudia said you don’t really celebrate your birthday.”
“I just didn’t want to make a big deal of that day.”
“Why not?”
Tucker sat up and turned to sit on the edge of the couch and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Because I didn’t want to upset my parents.”
“How would that upset them?”
He blew out a breath and lifted a shoulder. “When I was nine, Mom got pregnant unexpectedly—a little girl. She was so excited, especially with four wild boys running in and out and trashing the house all the time. She spent the morning of my tenth birthday baking my favorite cake, blowing up balloons and decorating for my party that afternoon. After taping a banner on the wall, she had a sharp pain, lost her balance and fell off the chair. She and I were the only ones at home, and we didn’t have a cell service up here at the time. I called 911. Dad came home from the store with my brothers as the paramedics pulled in.”
“I can only imagine what he thought when he saw them.” Bella moved off the table and sat next to him on the couch.
Tucker reached for his glass of water and took a drink. “Yeah, he was little freaked out.”
“What happened with your mom?”
“Dad got in touch with my grandparents, and they stayed with us. I overhead Grandma crying and telling Grandpa they’d lost the baby. We canceled my party, and while everyone else was busy, I took down the decorations. Dad brought Mom home and put her to bed. I could hear her sobs through the heating vents in the ceiling. Dad knew I was upset about the party, but he told me I needed to be strong for Mom. Truth was, I was feeling really guilty. After seeing my mom like that, I begged one of the paramedics to save her. He promised to do his best. But then Mom was so upset about losing the baby. From that day on, I kind of stopped making a big deal since because I didn’t want to remind my mom of the day she lost the daughter she wanted so badly.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Seeing the sadness on her face, Tucker wanted to wrap her in his arms, but he stayed where he was. “It is what it is.”
“How did your parents handle your birthdays after that?”
“Every year, they asked if I wanted a party, and I said no. Mom made my favorite meal and a cake. We kept the celebration low-key because I will never forget hearing her crying over what she’d lost.”
“But what about you? You deserve to be celebrated. Of course, losing a baby is always traumatic, but your parents were thrilled to have you. What about your brothers? Did they have parties?”
Tucker nodded.
“Oh, Tuck.” She placed a hand on his arm.
He glanced at her fingers, then at her face free of makeup with a freshly washed glow that made him want to reach out and touch it.
“I need to get going so you can get some sleep.” She stood and jerked her head toward the hall.
He pushed to his feet. “Not yet. I have some work to do.”
Bella frowned as they walked out of the room. “But it’s late and you’ve had a long day.”
“Unfortunately, my professors won’t accept that as an excuse.”
“You’re off tomorrow. Can you do it then?”
“Yes, some, but I have a birthday dinner with my family tomorrow evening. Would you like to come?”
“You don’t need an outsider at your family dinner.”
“Outsider? Hardly.” Tucker traced the line of her face. “I’d love to have you there.”
She looked at him, then dropped her gaze to her fingers. She bit the edge of her lips and swallowed. “What are we doing?”
“Talking?”
“You know what I mean.”
He took a step toward her and brushed his knuckles over her cheekbone. “What do you think?”
She cupped his hand and pulled it away from her face, but she didn’t release it.
“Tuck, I...” She blew out a breath and took a step back. “I don’t, I mean, well, the thing is...”
“No, I get it. I’m rushing you. I’m sorry. I’d still like you to come to dinner, but I’ll understand if you choose not to.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Thank you for the party. You’re so great. I really appreciate it. And you. Now go home and get some sleep.”
Bella pressed a hand to his chest. “Sleep well.”
Not likely.
She slipped out the front door and closed it behind her, the click solidifying the barrier between them.
He returned to the living room and dropped on the couch, thunking his head against the padded back cushion.
Idiot.
What had he expected? She’d rush into his arms?
Despite her generous heart and responding to his kisses, she was his friend, and that seemed to be where she was content to stay.
But the more he was around her, the more he realized he was ready to move forward with his life, to have a relationship with someone who didn’t seem to mind the package deal. He longed for a real marriage. He would always treasure their friendship, but his feelings were changing, and he was finding it harder to keep his distance.
But she wasn’t ready.
He had no choice but to wait, no matter how long it took. Somehow, he needed to gain control of his feelings. Otherwise, he was going to risk losing her before he could show her how perfect they could be together.
* * *
The noise around the table burrowed deep into Isabella’s chest, imprinting a lasting memory. With nearly finished plates pushed away, serving bowls that appeared barely touched and the smells of sage, homemade bread and roasted chicken lingering in the air, Isabella appreciated being a guest at Tucker’s birthday dinner.
Despite his desire to keep his birthday low-key, it was apparent how much his family loved him.
With her family being just her and her dad, being a part of tonight’s celebration fed a need she hadn’t even realized she carried until she sat next to Tucker and took his hand while Chuck prayed over the meal and the son he obviously cherished.
And he wasn’t the only one.
Seeing Tucker dressed in tan khakis and an olive-colored pullover sweater over a white button-down shirt, her traitorous heart stumbled in her chest.
After everyone had finished the birthday apple crumb pie Tucker had requested, Livie and Landon crawled onto Chuck’s lap, one on each knee, and they were laughing at something he’d spoken low in their ears. Livie lifted his coffee mug and took a sip before turning her face up to him with an impish grin.
The look of pure love and joy on Chuck’s face—something that authentic just couldn’t be faked. But then again, Chuck didn’t have a phony bone in his body. No, he was the real deal, who knew how to love well and laugh often.
Did Tucker realize what a treasure he had with his family?
“Izzie, what do you call a sleeping cow?” Landon laughed between words.
Looking at Landon, she smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. Tell me.”
“A bulldozer.” Throwing himself against Chuck’s chest, he collapsed into another fit of giggles.
Raising a brow, Tucker looked at his dad. “Recycling the old jokes, Pops?”
Chuck shr
ugged and grinned. “It’s a new generation to appreciate my humor.”
Across the table, Jake cleared his throat. “I know this is Tucker’s night and I don’t wish to take away from that, but Tori and I have some news to share.”
He took Tori’s hand and looked at her with such love that it pinched Bella’s heart.
Would she have that someday?
Was it her imagination, or had Tucker put some distance between them since yesterday? Sure, he continued to laugh and joke with everyone else, but his tone changed with her, still friendly, but not as flirty as he was last night.
“We learned yesterday that Tori’s sister, Kendra, and her niece, Annabeth, will be here in a couple of weeks for Thanksgiving. With Evan and maybe Micah coming home for the holidays, we’ve decided to move up the date of the wedding. Instead of getting married in May, we’re getting married in two weeks. I know this doesn’t give us a lot of time, but quite frankly, we don’t want to wait. We want a very small wedding with only family and close friends. Evan’s already agreed to stick around to help with the milking so Tori and I can get away for a honeymoon.”
While the family rallied around the happy couple passing out hugs and good-natured ribbing, Isabella pasted a smile in place, but she felt out of place with the new celebration.
Part of her wished she could slip out quietly, but she didn’t want to hurt Tucker’s feelings. The more time she spent with him, the harder it was to disguise the truth—she was falling in love with her best friend.
While he was kind and generous and attentive and she knew he cared for her, she would never have claim to his whole heart the way Rayne had. And that filled her with a sadness that threatened to overtake her.
She wanted more than what her parents had had—a real marriage based on love and trust. Problem was, she wasn’t sure how to let go of her mistrust and take a chance on having a future with someone she loved.
After hugging the couple, Isabella reached for dirty dishes and headed for the kitchen. She set the delicate china on the counter and ran water into the sink.
Outside the kitchen window, light snow dusted the ground and sugared the tips of the trees, turning the countryside into a holiday card.