by Ivy James
“Sweetheart, that night things were crazy and you said birth control was covered, but nothing is foolproof.”
Sweetheart? The endearment sounded so natural the way Luke said it, another reminder of that night.
“A woman at work last year got sick and took a round of antibiotics. Next thing she knew she was having kid number three. Go take the test, okay?”
It sounded so easy. Just take the test and be done with it. Simple. So why not do it?
Because he called you sweetheart. He wants more, you know that. That night, she’d rationalized the decision in the hazy, passion-dazed depths of her mind. Told herself that she and Luke could be together—just for one night—and everything would be all right. But as soon as it was over she’d known it was a huge mistake, that she’d lied to herself. Nothing that powerful was a good thing.
“Why is this happening?” she whispered softly, so low she hoped Luke didn’t hear her. She stared at him, unable to believe he was in her kitchen and he held the stupid test and they were having this conversation. How could things change so fast?
“Shelby, we have to know what we’re dealing with here and there’s only one way to do that.”
Concern, coaxing. Tenderness. Luke was such a nice guy. The most sensitive of his brothers, the most observant. Those traits were some of the many things about him that had always appealed to her. They were also the biggest reasons she should have stayed away from him.
“You know, regretting what we did has nothing to do with you,” she heard herself say out of the blue. No easing into it, no pretty sugarcoating. He had to hear her, remember who she was. Remember who she wasn’t. “Luke, you were wonderful. And the night was amazing. But nothing changes the fact that it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Except this,” he said, holding up the box.
Her guilt grew. “It’s just a precaution.”
“Then stop putting it off and go take the test.”
“But—”
“I’m not leaving until you do.”
Luke didn’t budge. Didn’t blink. But at least he hadn’t called her sweetheart again. Maybe he’d gotten the hint?
Shelby snatched the test from his hand.
Chapter 4
SHE MADE HIM WAIT on the porch. Luke stared out at Shelby’s backyard and breathed in the humid evening air. The stars overhead were so clear. Evenings in California were nice, but not like this. Here the sky looked like a charcoal-colored blanket sprinkled with glitter, some of the sparkles brighter than others.
Crickets and frogs created an orchestra of sound, and somewhere in the woods he heard what was probably a buck marking a tree with his antlers. Listening brought peace and comfort to his chaotic thoughts, and he made a mental note to expand and enhance the audio when Aiya travels through the forest to see the warrior prince.
A sudden tingling sensation made his neck prickle, and Luke turned to see Shelby. Wearing khaki pants and a snug brown T-shirt, she stepped onto the small porch off the kitchen, and just like that his body heated up like a nuclear plant about to blow.
How could they view what happened from such different perspectives?
Mars and Venus, buddy. “How long?”
“Two minutes.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and dropped her arm to her side, the charm bracelet she wore pinging against her watch in a metallic melody.
“You still wear it.”
She glanced down at her arm. “Your grandmother gives me a charm for my birthday and Christmas every year. It’s special.”
Since Shelby refused to make eye contact, he waited patiently, willing to keep his silence if it meant she’d stay put. She was the kind of woman who made a man take a second look, maybe a third. California was crawling with physically perfect women desperate for a break in their acting or modeling careers. But Shelby’s face had a quality far more intriguing, an arresting mixture of spunk, quiet bravado and hard-as-nails gumption. One glance and a person knew Shelby wasn’t a woman to be taken lightly, and the combination of beauty and brains was a killer.
Which was why the thought of her carrying his baby didn’t bother him nearly as much as he knew it should, especially now that the shock had worn off. He used to wait for her to gift him with a smile, a glance, happy with whatever she’d give him. That night she’d kissed him, come on to him, and he remembered thinking that it was right, remembered thanking God that the wait was finally over.
“It won’t be positive.” Shelby glanced at him quickly, but looked away when she realized he watched her. “The odds are against it.”
So she’d said. He got the feeling there was something more behind her words but decided not to press. It wasn’t important. Figuring out how he’d convince her of the next step should the test be positive was. “Do you feel like eating? I brought soup and ginger ale to settle your stomach.”
“You bought soda? That’s quite a concession on your part. Thank you.”
Shelby smoothed her hand over her neck and rubbed, softly at first then harder. How many times had he seen her do that? Heard his mother and Gram fuss over her because when the hives appeared, it meant Shelby’s stress level was too high.
“It’s a beautiful night,” he murmured, hoping to distract her long enough to get her to breathe. “The sky is different in the country. Must be the clear air and lack of lights.”
His attempt worked. Shelby took a deep breath, lifted her face to the heavens and, for a moment, the rubbing stopped.
“I’ll have to remember what you said about the lights. I don’t want to ruin the ambience when I open the mill house.”
That got his attention. “Open it? As what?”
A proud smile flashed, bright as the stars overhead. “A restaurant. My restaurant.”
“I noticed the construction. That door is a work of art.”
Her face softened. “It is beautiful, isn’t it? I found it on an online auction. It used to be part of a monastery.”
“When will the construction be completed?”
“In about six months. Maybe less if…everything goes as planned.”
The moment the words left her mouth she apparently remembered the test. The scratching began again.
“I remember you, Alex and Gram in the kitchen, laughing and talking. I know you like to cook but I didn’t know you wanted to own a restaurant.”
“Neither did I until I worked at the diner. I started thinking about it because there were so many things I wanted to change but couldn’t because it wasn’t mine. Then my grandfather was given this land by his boss. He’d bring me out here and we’d explore. The whole place was pretty overgrown, but I’d make us a picnic and we’d just…talk about the possibilities.” She laughed, the throaty sound a nice change from the panic of earlier, though threads of the emotion were still present. “I never told Alex this, but he really had a thing for your grandmother. He thought Rosetta was the perfect woman.”
“Gram is pretty great.”
Shelby smiled sadly. “Yeah, she is. Anyway, one day I mentioned wanting my own restaurant. Not long after that he passed, and he left the land to me with a note that told me to follow my dreams. I couldn’t believe it.”
Neither could anyone else. “Was your mom upset that he didn’t give it to her?”
“Some.” Her shoulder lifted in a shrug and she shot him a sheepish glance. “I don’t know why he did that. I was surprised myself. Maybe Grandpa thought Mom would sell it or something.”
“The memories of your picnics must have been special. He obviously wanted you to have it.” And her parents had had a rough time of it. That was part of the reason Shelby had spent so much time at their house. Gram and his mother had known Shelby was better off with them than listening to her parents’ marriage fall apart over and over again. How many times had they married and divorced? He’d lost track.
Shelby glanced at her watch and gulped nervously. “Luke, I didn’t mean to ruin things between us, you know, our…friendship. I want you to know that.�
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Luke cupped her elbow in his hand and gently squeezed, feeling the chill on her skin despite the warm night air. “Nothing’s been ruined. I don’t regret what we did. I loved making love to you.”
He shifted his stance against the porch railing and tugged Shelby closer. She didn’t acknowledge the gesture, just stared out at her property, physically close but as emotionally distant as a woman could get.
Finally her eyes met his. “But things have changed. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care for you. I do, but—”
“But now we’re here. And if that test is positive, we have to deal with it.”
Shelby swallowed, the audible sound thick and telling, her eyes dry. The only time he’d seen her cry was at her grandfather’s funeral, but even then she’d only released a tear or two before she’d squared her shoulders and taken her place following the casket, one step in front of the other like a good soldier.
She was strung so tight. He wasn’t a psychologist, but he knew it wasn’t healthy. Their night together was the result of her reaching a breaking point. What about the next time when he wasn’t around? What would she do then? Would she repeat that night in June? Be with someone else?
The air whooshed from his lungs. He couldn’t think of that now. Whatever had upset her had left her teetering on the edge of a cliff. She’d been angry, scared. Closemouthed as always about her personal business but desperate for contact, aggressive in her passion and needing to control what they did, how they did it. If there ever was a next time, if she ever reached that fierce, out-of-sync point again, he hoped she came to him. Prayed she came to him, only him.
Shelby checked her watch and his thoughts were cut short when she abruptly turned on her heel. Luke followed her into the house, wishing he didn’t notice the sway of her hips and how the spot where her neck and shoulder met begged to be kissed.
She had apparently carried the little stick into the living room because she stopped by the couch and picked up the test, but she didn’t look at it.
“No matter what the result is, it doesn’t change anything.”
They both knew better. She’d always been independent—she’d had to be from an early age—but why was she pushing so hard? Was it such a bad thing to be pregnant? The stigmas of old weren’t relevant now. Women had babies out of wedlock all the time. Was there another reason she didn’t want a baby?
Or was it that she didn’t want the baby to be his?
His heart pumped ice through his veins. “Are you seeing someone? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because of another guy?” Was that the cause of her upset that night? A fight with her boyfriend?
Her nostrils flared and two hot spots of color filled her cheeks. He’d insulted her and he called himself every kind of a fool for making the situation worse. Their single night together had been every man’s fantasy, but he knew Shelby wasn’t one of those women.
“What you must think of me,” she drawled softly.
Luke grimaced at his blunder and reached out to touch her. She scooted out of range. He followed, trapping her between his body and the couch before she could go too far. He cupped her chin and lifted her head to stare directly into her eyes. “I don’t think that of you, and I’m sorry for implying it. Shelby? I’m sorry. I’m a little out of sorts right now, not thinking straight. I know you wouldn’t do that.”
Seconds ticked by. Finally she accepted his apology with a nod, her lashes lowering protectively over her eyes. “I can’t blame you. You didn’t come home this weekend expecting this. It’s my fault we’re standing here right now.”
“I wasn’t exactly protesting.”
Her mouth twisted into a sad smile. “I know what I told you about being safe, Luke. I thought…I was.” She dug her toes into the carpet beneath their feet. “But regardless of what this says, I don’t expect anything of you.”
“If you’re pregnant, I’m going to be a part of the baby’s life.”
“Because of duty? No, I don’t want that.”
She didn’t want that? “I will do right by my child, Shelby.”
“But—”
“Why are we arguing over this when we don’t have the result? Look at the test. What does it say?”
She stared down at her hand but didn’t uncover the results window.
Luke waited the two seconds he was able then took over. Her fingers were icy. Stroking gently, he held her hand cradled in his and used his thumb to push hers from atop its position over the clear plastic.
Shelby sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m…pregnant.”
He stared at her bent head, at the red blotches on her skin and the pulse fluttering rapidly at her throat. He could only imagine what she was thinking, the surge of panic she probably felt at the shock of it. If his heart pounded any harder in his chest, it was going to burst through his skin.
But his brain was already working, trying to figure out a way to get her to understand he’d meant what he said. They were in this together and no way was she going to deny him his child. “No, Shelby. We’re pregnant.”
SHELBY STARED at the rectangular stick, Luke’s words echoing in her head. We’re pregnant.
It wasn’t even possible. The test had to be wrong!
Luke pulled her into a one-armed hug and she let him, needing something to prop her up because her legs were shaking. Pregnant?
Frustration radiated from Luke and the arm around her shoulders was hard with tension. All caused by her stupid, stupid decision. But for a moment she closed her eyes, and with one inhalation the scent of his cologne and the August day seeped into her, calming her. When she opened her eyes and saw the test still gripped in her hand, reality came crashing down on her like a tidal wave. Pregnant. Single. With a screwball family and Luke—Oh, Luke. She hadn’t just messed up her life, her plans, she’d messed up his, too.
“Shelby, it’s going to be okay.”
“Of course it is,” she said, trying to instill confidence in her tone. She had to think of the positives. She had a home, a good job. Her parents might not be together and her mother might be difficult to handle on a good day, but they would help her all that they could. Of course it would be okay. She’d make it okay.
Somehow.
One trip to the doctor will prove the test wrong. It’s a mistake.
Because how could she be pregnant? How could her doctor have told her such a thing was next to impossible if it wasn’t true?
She could hear Alex ranting now about health care in small towns and—Oh, Alex was going to freak!
Shelby extracted herself from Luke’s embrace and paced away from him, stopping only when she reached the window and could go no farther. She was too hot, her clothes too tight, the room too small. She had to deal with this in an adult, mature way when all she really wanted to do was scream no, no, no like a sleepy toddler whose balloon had blown away.
It’s not true.
“Calm down before you hyperventilate.”
She pressed her forehead against the glass and relished the clarity brought by the cool pane. Think. She had to think. “I’m fine.” She wouldn’t be able to get in to see her doctor until Monday and that was nearly thirty-six hours away. She’d be certifiable by then. Pregnant?
Saying it over and over again isn’t making it go away.
But how could it be true? “We need another test.” She nodded slowly, firmly. Why hadn’t she thought of that? She’d take another test and when it was false, she’d know the first one was a mistake. Doctors didn’t tell women they couldn’t have children unless it was true. “They had a two-pack at the store but I thought—I’m going to go get one. Two out of three, you know?”
She crossed the room to get her purse, but Luke snagged her arm.
“Everything’s closed now.”
She couldn’t meet his eyes. Couldn’t let herself see the tenderness and worry and rock-steady strength she knew she’d find, because she’d wind up turning to Luke for comfort again when that’s what ha
d gotten them to this point. “There’s a twenty-four-hour pharmacy in Pierson. I’ll go there.” Unbidden, her gaze shot to his face. His expression was one of solemn patience, tolerance, which spiked her blood pressure even more.
“Shelby, the test was positive. According to the box, they have a ninety-nine-point-eight-percent accuracy rate.”
The room shifted beneath her feet. She managed to stay upright, but only because Luke held on to her. The instant she knew she wouldn’t fall on her face, however, she loosed her arm and turned back to the window. “How can you be so…calm?”
“You’re scared enough for both of us.”
“I’m fine.” Her lashes lifted to his reflection in the window. Luke apparently thought she couldn’t see him as he ran both hands over his head and down his neck where he squeezed. He was trying to keep his cool for her, but she’d bet he wished now he’d run in the opposite direction that night. She certainly did. “I’m sorry.” For coming on to you, for needing you. For messing everything up. If I would’ve been stronger I—
“For what? Did you do this on purpose?”
She shook her head, her breath fogging the glass in front of her.
“Then don’t apologize. It’s okay.”
Her laugh lacked humor, low and derisive. Okay?
Luke’s hands settled on his hips. “Shelby, come on. It’s a shock but…it’s done. We’ve known each other practically all our lives. The next logical step isn’t such a drastic one if you think about it.”
Shelby scratched the top of her hand. She got the feeling her version of logical and his were two totally different things. Logical to her meant parting ways before things could get any worse.
She’d thought about the concept of marriage all her life. How could she not examine every aspect of it when her parents were so good at marrying but so lousy at making it work? No, if Luke meant the next logical step was marriage, he was in for a surprise. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.”