by Grey, Blair
I looked Cameron straight in the eyes. “That’s my son,” I told him. No explanation or anything else. I just wanted to see how he was going to react.
The man seemed entirely unfazed. “Cool,” he said. He stepped around me and went toward Sam, holding out his hand for a high five. “Nice to meet you, buddy,” he said. “My name’s Cameron. Or Cam, for short.”
Sam giggled. “Sam and Cam,” he said. “We’re like twins.”
Cameron grinned at him, and I wondered where he had learned to be so good with kids. It just reminded me how very little I actually knew about the man, but that didn’t worry me. I wasn’t afraid that he was going to try something. Instead, it made me just want to get to know him better.
“Are you Mommy’s boyfriend?” Sam asked.
Cameron made an uncertain noise and glanced back at me like he wasn’t sure how to answer that. “No, honey,” I said, stepping forward. “Cameron is a boy and a friend, but he and I are just friends. Just like you have friends at your school who are girls, but they aren’t your girlfriends. Isn’t that right?”
Sam wrinkled his nose. “Course they’re not my girlfriends,” he said. He leaned in toward Cameron, putting a hand over his mouth like he was about to impart some great secret. “Because that would be yucky.” Again, Cameron had to stifle a laugh. He nodded seriously at Sam, clearly amused.
“Are you the guy with the motorcycle?” Sam asked suddenly, looking up at Cameron.
“I am, buddy,” Cameron said gravely, nodding his head. “Did your mom tell you that?”
“Nope, I saw it the other day when we were at Mommy’s work,” Sam told him.
“What did you think of it?” Cameron asked.
“When I grow up, I’m going to have a motorcycle just like you!” Sam said. He paused and glanced over at me. “But Mommy says I can’t ride one until I’m eighteen, ’cause she’s afraid that I’ll get hurt.”
“That’s a very smart mom you have,” Cameron said, winking over at me. “But maybe your mom would be okay if I took you on a little motorcycle ride with me?”
Sam’s eyes got really big, and even though I wasn’t sure about this, I also didn’t know if I could say no to him now. And where was the harm, really?
“Please, Mommy?” Sam begged. “I’ll be really good, and I’ll eat all my vegetables, and I’ll brush my teeth really good. I promise.”
“I don’t know,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “You’ll have to be really good.”
“You can join us too,” Cameron added. “You can pop on the back, and I’ll keep Sam up front so that he can help me steer.”
“All right,” I finally said. “But we’re all going to wear helmets.”
“Of course,” Cameron said immediately. Then, he frowned. “Although I’m not sure I have something that’ll fit the little man here.”
“He’s got a skateboarding helmet he can wear. I know it’s not really the right thing, but just go slow, okay?”
“Of course,” Cameron said. “She’s back at the coffee shop, but I’ll go get her fired up and be back here in about fifteen minutes.”
“That’s forever!” Sam protested.
Cameron laughed. “Well, it should be just enough time for you to get cleaned up, find that skateboard helmet, and maybe even eat a couple of those delicious-smelling cookies.”
Sam giggled.
“Are you insane?” Maddie asked when he headed outside, while I helped Sam wash his hands. “Are you forgetting who that guy is? What if he kidnaps you?”
I grinned at her. “He’s got a car,” I told her. “If he was really planning on kidnapping us, don’t you think that would make a lot more sense?”
“Probably,” Maddie sighed. “But still. Be careful out there.”
“You could join us, too, you know,” I pointed out. “Wouldn’t you love to ride on a motorcycle?”
“Oh no,” Maddie said, shaking her head. “I’m not part of this thing, remember? I’ve got nothing to do with Red Eyes, as far as I’m concerned. I’m not getting dragged into this too.”
“That’s fair,” I said, nodding at her. I gave her a quick hug. “Thanks again for watching Sam today. And for baking cookies. They really do smell amazing.”
Maddie finally thawed, smiling a little at me. “Let’s just hope they taste delicious,” she said. “It’s a new recipe, but it seems like it probably worked out pretty well.”
We headed outside to wait for Cameron. Sure enough, he was there quickly, and Sam clapped his hands with delight as Cameron helped him get situated in the man’s lap. I swung onto the back of the bike, mindful of the hot exhaust pipe when Cameron pointed it out to me.
We cruised slowly up the length of the street. “All right, everyone. Hold on!” Cameron said. “Sam’s about to steer us around a corner!”
Sam put his hands on Cameron’s to help guide the bike. Cameron had his feet on the ground, walking through the turn, no doubt because we were going so slow. But Sam was still having the time of his life.
“That was the best!” Sam said when we finally made it back to the house. Cameron gave him another high five.
“Why don’t you run inside and check on Auntie Maddie?” I asked Sam, even though I knew that getting him to leave the bike was going to be tough. Sure enough, he started pouting.
But Cameron bent down so that he was at nearly the same height as the five-year-old. “How about this, buddy,” he said. “I probably have to leave you guys alone for today, but maybe I can come back sometime and we can do this again. If your mom says it’s okay, that is.” He glanced up at me, a smirk on his face.
I hated making promises that I wasn’t sure I could keep, but I finally nodded. “Another day,” I agreed.
Because to be honest, who was I trying to kid? There was no way that I was going to be able to stay away from Cameron, even though I logically knew that this was about the stupidest thing that I’d ever done. The stupidest relationship that I’d ever gotten myself tangled up in.
As Sam darted back inside, though, I turned to Cameron. “Thanks for that,” I said. “You just made Sam’s whole year; I’m pretty sure.”
“He’s a great kid,” Cameron said.
And you’re great with kids, I thought, but I managed to keep myself from saying it out loud.
“Maybe I could see you again tomorrow?” I suggested, not even sure why I wanted to see him so soon, but I was sure that I did. “Maddie will be working, but it’s my day off.”
“Sure, tomorrow sounds great,” Cameron said. “If you want to have Maddie watch Sam, we could do dinner again.”
“Perfect,” I told him.
He blew me a kiss, which should have looked ridiculous when he did it, but instead, somehow managed to turn me on all the same. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you,” I agreed, watching him speed off down the street, going a lot faster than he had with Sam and me on board.
I turned and headed back inside, feeling surprisingly light and floaty like I was on top of the world. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Maddie hissed, meeting me in the foyer with her hands on her hips.
I shook my head. “Maddie, we’ve been over this,” I said. “He just isn’t who you think he is.”
Maddie shook her head as well. “You have no idea who he really is,” she said. “You have no idea what kind of work he even does for Red Eyes.”
“He’s the treasurer,” I protested. I didn’t know exactly what that entailed or what sort of ways Red Eyes got their money, but I at least knew what his job was with the club.
Maddie rolled her eyes. That answer clearly wasn’t good enough for her. “Just, of all the boys that you could get involved with, does it really have to be this one?”
“He’s a good guy. And he’s great with Sam,” I protested, feeling defensive.
Maddie sighed. “I know he is. But he’s also a member of the most powerful biker club in the state, and I think that you’re forgetting about that. Or just r
efusing to see that.”
“So what if I am?” I asked. “He’s not going to hurt me.”
“I really hope that you’re right,” Maddie said. She shook her head. “So I guess you need me to watch Sam again tomorrow night?”
“I can get a sitter if you want,” I said.
“No, it’s better that it’s me,” Maddie said. “That way if that guy, Lex, tries to break in or something, at least I’ll know what’s going on.”
“He’s not going to try to break into my house,” I told her, even though I wished that I could actually be certain. It was one of the things that I still hadn’t learned from Cameron. I didn’t know much about this Lex guy, and I didn’t know how to figure out what he might do.
I just had to hope that Cameron was keeping me safe. And that now that he knew about Sam, he would keep Sam safe as well. I trusted him. Whatever else he might be, he had proven that he was a gentleman.
21
Cameron
I definitely hadn’t expected Tara to have a kid, but it didn’t bother me to find out that she did. If anything, it made a lot of the pieces fall into place: why she was so guarded all the time and why she was so empathetic. Why she needed to go straight home after we had had sex, and why she needed to call someone before she could agree to go get coffee with me. It made a lot of sense.
And the kid, Sam, was a great kid. Enthusiastic and fun. I bet he was a ball of energy most times, and I bet he also drove Tara up the wall sometimes. He was so excited to ride with me on my bike. It brought me back to the thrill of my first time on a motorcycle. I had forgotten, almost, what that felt like, until he reminded me.
I knew this complicated things. Tara wasn’t just some girl who I was sleeping with. There was a certain hierarchy of priorities in her life, something that had been established long before I came on the scene. And beyond that, I knew that I wasn’t just keeping her safe from Lex. There was Sam as well.
Although I had to hope that Lex never knew about Sam. I had to hope that he believed Tara when she told him that she didn’t know me at all and that I was just a customer. That he’d given up on that angle.
I had a bad feeling about all of it, though. I knew Lex well enough to know that he was like a dog with a bone when it came to things like this. He wasn’t going to let go. He wasn’t going to quit. That made me nervous. It made me wonder what he might try to do to her.
But I didn’t think I could cut Tara out of my life, even though I barely knew her. The parts of her that I did know, I liked a lot. And the rest of her, well, I wanted to get to know all of it.
When I showed up at Tara’s house the next day to take her out to dinner, I felt almost nervous. It was such a strange thing for me. I might not be as tough as some of the other guys in the club, but I very rarely got nervous. When I did, it was usually nervousness over some very real threat, like Lex and the Unknowns. Not just a girl.
But then again, Tara wasn’t just some girl.
I fingered the patch in my pocket as I waited for Tara to answer the door, trying not to think too hard about all of this. But it wasn’t Tara who answered the door. It was Sam. “Motorcycle man!” he said immediately, his face splitting with a wide grin. “Do we get to go for another ride?”
I laughed. “Hey, Sam,” I said, crouching down so that I was on level with him. “No rides today, but I brought something for you actually. You know, since you’re a budding motorcyclist yourself.” I pulled out the Red Eyes patch and handed it to him. “You keep that safe,” I said. “Don’t lose it.”
Sam’s little eyes got very big, and he nodded solemnly at me, his fingers stroking reverently over the patch.
Tara groaned from behind him. “Please tell me you didn’t just induct my five-year-old son into your club,” she said.
I laughed and got to my feet, winking at her. “No, not yet,” I told her. “He’d have to be older for us to induct him. And the president of the club would have to be the one to do it. I just thought he might like a little souvenir from yesterday, that’s all.”
I was actually worried that Tara might try to make her son give me the patch back. Maybe I should have cleared it with her first. Looking at it from her point of view, I could see where the patch might not seem entirely innocent. But that wasn’t what I had meant by it. I had just thought that the kid might appreciate it. Like I said, a little souvenir.
But even though Tara was shaking her head, I could see the faint traces of a smile on her lips. She nodded at Sam. “Why don’t you go show that to Maddie?” she suggested. “I think she’s almost finished making dinner.”
Sam cheered. “Mac and cheese!”
I laughed as he raced out of the room, his bare feet thumping on the tiles. Then, I turned to Tara. “You ready to go?” I asked her.
“Yeah,” Tara said, grabbing her keys from the side table and dropping them into her purse. “Thank you for that. Sam hasn’t quit talking about his motorcycle ride all weekend.”
“Maybe I can take him out again sometime,” I said. I eyed her cute blouse and skirt combo. The green of her blouse made her eyes appear bright and beautiful. “But right now, the only person I want to take anywhere is you."
Tara gave me a shy smile, yelled her goodbyes, and followed me out of the house.
“How old is Sam?” I asked as we drove toward the restaurant.
“He’ll be six in a few months,” Tara said, and when I glanced over, she had a soft smile on her face. I could tell, just from that, how much her son meant to her, and I felt a surge of protectiveness for both of them.
God, what the hell had I gotten myself into?
“And you’ve raised him all by yourself?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Tara said, sounding proud of herself.
There was so much that I wanted to ask, but the conversation was paused as we arrived at the restaurant and headed inside to be seated. Then, we took our time looking over the menus. But once the food was ordered, I asked my next question, the one that had been bothering me ever since I found out that Tara had a kid. “And are you still involved with Sam’s dad?”
I didn’t think that Tara was cheating on the man with me or anything like that. She just didn’t seem like that type of woman. But at the same time, even if she only saw him occasionally, there might still be feelings there. Feelings that I needed to know about if Tara and I were going to continue to do… whatever it was that we were doing. Dating? Were we really dating?
I hadn’t really meant to get this far into a relationship with her, but I couldn’t seem to resist. And the more I found out about her, the more I liked.
“I’m not involved with Sam’s dad. I haven’t been since I found out that I was pregnant, basically,” Tara said.
I blinked in surprise. “Not the kind of guy who you wanted raising your son?” I asked, trying to imagine Tara with a truly bad guy.
But she shook her head. “No, I think Jeremy would have made a great dad,” she said. “But he just didn’t want to be involved. So he hasn’t been.”
“You’ve done an amazing job raising that kid all by yourself,” I said, unable to stop myself. It was true. She was incredibly strong, and to have raised such a great kid, well. But I didn’t want her to feel like I was being patronizing by saying that.
Tara smiled, though. “Thanks,” she said. “To be honest, Sam makes it pretty easy. He’s just a good kid.”
“Sign that he has a great mother,” I said gravely.
Tara blushed, and I grinned. She was so cute, in so many ways. I wondered if she even realized how much appeal she had.
But then, she turned the tables on me. “What about you?” she asked.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Do I have any kids that you don’t know about?” I asked. “If I do, I don’t know about them either. But chances are good that I don’t. Like I told you before, I’m not like the other bikers who sleep around all the time.”
Tara laughed. “Not exactly what I was asking,” she said. “But did you ev
er picture yourself having kids?”
I frowned, thinking that over. I knew that the question was probably pretty important to her. That she wasn’t really asking if I pictured myself having kids, not exactly. What she was asking was, did I picture myself together with her and Sam for the long term? Or was it time to cut our losses?
“To be honest, I’ve never thought about having kids,” I said.
Tara’s face fell. “Because of the club?” she asked.
“Not really,” I said slowly, shaking my head. “Not particularly.” I frowned, trying to think of a way to explain it. But there was really only one way. “The thing is, I’ve never met a woman who I wanted to have children with,” I finally told her. “It’s not that I’m opposed to the idea of having kids, but I would never want to have children on my own. It would have to be with the right woman. And I just haven’t found that yet.”
Tara looked at me for a long moment, and I could see the glint of hope in her eyes. But that was the most that I could promise her for right now.
I wasn’t going to let myself start picturing a future with her. I wasn’t going to let myself start imagining what it would be like to wake up with her every morning, to go downstairs and make breakfast, to have a family, to have a life with her and Sam. We weren’t to that point in our relationship yet. I just plain didn’t know her well enough yet.
But the vague idea of it, in the back of my head, working in my subconscious, wasn’t entirely unpleasant. And nor was the idea of having more children with her, children of my own. But we weren’t there just yet.
It was enough to know that her ex, Sam’s father, wasn’t in the picture and that she wasn’t pining for him. We’d see where this thing went, with her and I.
“So if Sam’s five, he must be in preschool?” I asked.
“Kindergarten actually,” Tara said, and again, there was that fond smile on her face as she talked about her son. “He’s a really smart kid. A really smart kid.” She laughed and shook her head. “Honestly, I’m already worried about the day that he brings home his homework and asks me to help him and I have no idea what I’m meant to help him with.”