by Joni Bing
****
We got back to the commune without an exchange of goodnights, and nothing changed about the commune before we left, except the way Z was sleeping. I never heard someone make so much noise while they slept. How was it even possible? I knew there was a word for that, but like always I had no idea what it was. His arm extended over my side of the bed while his body stretched over his own. All that was missing was me. I smiled and thanked the night that I fit right in with no struggle or disturbance.
I watched his eyes slowly open and he smirked. I shivered at the sight of that. I didn't know if I should run or feel grateful.
“Went for a walk?”
He didn't move his arm beneath my head, and I immediately figured out why. I could smell liquor from miles away. Unfortunately, it's a gift I've had all of my life.
“Yeah. Had a drink?”
“A few. Donnn't worry, it'll blow overrrr in the mornin',” he continued smirking. Z touched my cheek with his thumb and the warmth numbed my chest.
“What's gotten into you?”
“Didn't wee just discusssss that?”
I chuckled. “Oh, I guess so.”
He chuckled too, but it sounded more like a croak. “Goodnight, Ms. Laadddy.”
“Yeah. Goodnight,” I smiled.
Z shut his eyes and my head spun like my body was tilting off the edge of the bed, but I was nowhere near it. I was in the middle, in the comfort zone. Acceptance; it's a beautiful feeling. A feeling I was starting to become familiar with again.