He patted her knee in that awkward dad way. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s nothing urgent, and you need to believe that. It’s just that when you get older, and there’s unfinished business with the ones you love, especially your kids, you start to see every day as an opportunity to fix things. And when you know you’re not gifted an unlimited amount of time, that window of opportunity narrows.”
“What’s wrong with your heart?”
“I’ve been having some episodes. Turns out there are a few clogged arteries.”
“A few?”
“They’ll need to do a bypass pretty soon, but I need to get all healed up from this first.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” There was an undeniable ache in her throat.
“I haven’t told anyone. Plus, you were sweet enough to come and I didn’t want to overwhelm you, honey. I’ll get a nurse for this next adventure, okay?”
“Dad...”
“I’m on medication, so this isn’t an emergency. But I did think it was time to spill the beans.”
Jemma watched him steadily. She didn’t know what to think, how to feel. She let his words settle. Every day is an opportunity to fix things... In her heart, she felt they were closer to fixing things than they’d been yesterday. But they still had a ways to go. And as far as Justine went, she’d have to work through this in her own time, no matter what was happening with Joe. That was the ugly reality of it.
Because she didn’t trust her voice to come out evenly, she scooted closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He patted her hand, but he didn’t say anything, either.
As scary as it was, she’d just have to see what the future held. With EJ, with her dad, with Justine, and with this tiny little town at the base of Copper Mountain that she was beginning to feel so tenderly about.
But right here, right now, she was happy.
Marietta’s small animal shelter was as cheerful as could be under the circumstances. EJ looked over at the brightly lit Christmas tree in the corner and the donation box underneath, which overflowed with food and blankets for the county’s neediest cats and dogs.
The shelter director, a tall lady with short, blonde hair, beamed at them from over her shoulder. They walked through the office, toward the kennels in the back.
“Watch the mistletoe, y’all!” she chirped, pointing to a bunch tied with red ribbon overhead.
Jemma looked over at EJ and smiled, then cleared her throat. “We just appreciate this so much, Shari. Now, you said over the phone that all the animals available for adoption are here at the shelter? None in foster homes? We don’t want to miss any pictures.”
“That’s right, hon.” Shari reached down to pet an elderly retriever with a Santa bandana tied around its neck in the hallway. It wagged its tail exactly twice, and then flopped down on the floor with a groan.
“Edgar,” she said. “He’s one of our seniors who has been here the longest. He hasn’t been doing well in the kennels, so we just let him have the run of the place.”
Jemma stopped to give him a scratch behind the ears, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth in a way that suggested she’d like to stuff him in her purse.
EJ took her elbow. “Come on, champ. There’s more where that came from.”
“This tree is the best idea,” Shari said. “Combine Mistletoe and Montana with our Christmas special, and I can’t imagine we won’t reach our goal this year.”
“And that’s to get everyone adopted?” EJ asked.
They’d reached the kennels, where the cats had their own special room to the left. In front of them stretched a long row of cages with dogs on either side. Someone had strung old Christmas lights from kennel to kennel. It smelled sharply of animals, and there was a cacophony of barking and whining. But some of the dogs and puppies stood stoically at the chain-link gates, gazing at the humans longingly. Those were the ones that tugged at EJ the most. One of his foster families had a dog that he’d foolishly let himself get attached to. When the state removed him, he hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye. She’d been a little flop-eared terrier named Scout. He’d never forgotten her.
Clenching his jaw, he stared down the aisle, careful not to look too long at their soft brown eyes. Dogs didn’t live long enough. They ran away and got hit by cars, or got cancer, or simply got old before their owners were ready. It was ironic that now that he could have a dog, he’d decided against it. There was joy there, but also the potential for sorrow. And up until this point, the latter had always been the deal breaker for him.
“That’s right,” Shari said. “Every single one.”
Jemma clasped her hands together and began walking from kennel to kennel. She knelt down at every gate and stuck her fingers through the slats to be licked and pawed at.
“Looks like she’s an animal lover,” Shari said, giving EJ the side-eye.
“Oh, yeah. I think she’d take them all if she could.”
“Well, let’s hope somebody does. Some of these guys are running out of time.”
Jemma looked up, her eyes bright. “EJ. Come here.”
Bracing himself, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked over. Sitting at her feet was some kind of shepherd-mix puppy, no more than a few months old. It sat on its fluffy haunches and gazed up at him with one ear pricked and the other flopping forward. But that wasn’t the worst of it. It was missing an eye. The socket was hollow and gaping, and the sight coaxed a groan from EJ’s chest.
“Are you kidding me?”
Shari walked up to the cage and pointed to the adoption card on the gate. “This is Wink. He was abandoned at our doorstep a few weeks ago. We think something got hold of him, and that’s why he’s missing an eye. But he gets around great and just wants to be loved.”
Sure enough, it was what his card said. Male, neutered. Good with cats and kids. Loves his ball and cuddle time. Already knows how to sit and shake! Would love to keep you company by a Christmas Eve fire.
Jemma clutched her chest, and he thought she might have an actual stroke standing there at kennel number four.
“I can’t,” she managed.
Shari laughed. “I know, right? But this whole place is full of Winks. And what you guys are doing will help so much. He’ll get a home, I promise.”
Unwisely, EJ looked down at the puppy again. Like Edgar, he wore a Christmas bandana, but this one had little snowmen all over it. Jesus. He was a grown-ass man, years away from his foster homes from hell. He’d traveled extensively, gone to graduate school, established himself as a professional in his community. He wasn’t that pathetic little kid anymore who only craved acceptance. But still, the puppy’s liquid eye did something to him that he wasn’t prepared for. That he didn’t like.
He moved away from the kennel and turned his back on it deliberately. They had a lot of pictures to take. And the better they were, the better the chances the dog would find a good home. That they’d all find good homes.
“Ready, Jemma?” His voice didn’t sound like his own. It wasn’t as casual, wasn’t as smooth.
Jemma looked up and frowned. He could see the thought taking shape before she could even articulate the words.
“You know, he’d be a great hiking—”
“Nope,” he said, cutting her off. “Nope to the nope.”
“But—”
He held up a hand. “No way. I do not need a dog.”
“Everyone needs a dog.”
“That’s true,” Shari agreed innocently.
“Well, I don’t.”
Jemma blinked up at him. Shari was no better, twirling her thumbs in front of her big rhinestone belt buckle.
“Why don’t you take him home, Jemma?”
“I can’t. I don’t have a yard. But you—”
“I what?”
“You’re so active. He could go everywhere with you.”
“Except work.”
“There’s that...”
“Yeah. There’s that.”
Shari look
ed from one to the other, probably sensing there was more to the conversation than met the eye. She took a few steps forward, intending for them to follow, but Jemma stayed rooted in place, staring up at him stubbornly.
“He’d be a good friend,” she said softly.
“I have enough friends.”
They both fell quiet, and even the dogs stopped barking momentarily, creating an uneasy lull.
“I’m just going to check my messages,” Shari said. “I’ll be right back.” Before they could say anything, she’d retreated into the office, leaving them alone.
Jemma continued watching him, her pulse fluttering at the hollow of her throat. A spot that was becoming one of his favorites. His gaze dropped there for a second before meeting hers again.
“I get it,” she finally said. “I do. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that.”
He resisted the urge to look back at the puppy, who whimpered behind them.
“Maybe I just want one of us to have a serious relationship in our lives,” she continued. “I want to live vicariously through that dog.”
He smiled. “Yeah, well. A dog is a big commitment.”
“So’s a girlfriend.”
As soon as she said it, her face colored. She looked away and dug her camera out of her purse.
She was absolutely right. But so was he. Both required commitment. Both required a change of heart.
Jamming his hands further down in his pockets, he walked past Wink’s cage without another look. There was no point. He just wasn’t ready.
“I think the light’s good toward the window,” he said. “Why don’t we start down there?”
EJ stepped back, cocked his head, and looked at the tree with a critical eye. Something he was good at. It still wasn’t straight, and there was something cockeyed about the star at the top that Jemma had fashioned out of dog collars. It had to be perfect if they had any hope of knocking Java Café out of the number-one spot this year.
Jemma cleared her throat behind him. The clinic was dark and empty, but the stereo played Christmas music overhead and the whole place smelled like coffee and donuts. At ten at night. They’d probably be here until three.
“Can I interject here?” she asked.
He turned, hands on his hips. “Maybe.”
“You’ve been staring at it like that for half an hour. It’s as straight as it’s gonna get.”
“No offense, but I’m the Christmas-tree expert. You’re just my assistant.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Affirmative.”
“I’m about to strangle you with a strand of lights.”
“We don’t have time for kinky games. The auction is tomorrow night, but maybe later, okay?”
She snorted. “It’s a really good tree, EJ. I think it’ll bring in a lot of money for the hospital. And the shelter. A win, win, just like we planned.”
He smiled and looked back at the tree. She was right. It was damn good. They’d taken pictures of every animal at the shelter, and each dog and cat had their own ornament. Jemma had made Adopt Me stars out of tinfoil with the shelter’s contact information on them, and they’d mingled those in with brushes, toys, harnesses, dog bones, and monthly flea treatments. All this was enhanced by tinsel and lights, and tiny red bows over every inch of the squat, fat pine.
Christmas was a little over a week away. Since Jemma had gotten here, everything had flown by. Now, realizing it was almost over and she’d be leaving soon, he didn’t know what to do with the empty feeling that had been dogging him since they’d talked a few days ago. He’d always been able to compartmentalize his relationships before. Ones that were moving too fast, ones that weren’t moving at all, he’d simply detached from them all. Nice and easy. But there would be nothing easy about detaching himself from Jemma Banks.
He’d been thinking about how he’d lectured her to forgive Joe. What a hypocrite he was. She’d been absolutely right about him needing to forgive his biological parents in order to move on. But it was a lot easier said than done. Which was probably why Justine hadn’t stepped foot inside Marietta since Joe’s accident.
He heard Jemma walk up behind him now, her scent reaching him first. She wrapped her arms around his waist, turning to rest her cheek against his back. She was warm, soft, her breasts pressing against him in the most provocative way.
“I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed the month of December,” she said. “Thank you for that.”
He put his hand on her forearm. “To be fair, the ice-skating probably didn’t hurt.”
She laughed. “True. But you’re the biggest reason.”
“So, what you’re saying is I’m your Santa Claus. Basically.”
“Well, yeah. Basically.”
“I think you might have to sit on my lap.”
“That could be arranged.”
He pulled her around so she faced him, her head tilted back, her hair falling in unruly curls past her shoulders. Her down vest was zipped practically to her chin, but he didn’t think she’d ever looked sexier. She wore a pair of diamond studs that glittered and caught the light of the tree behind her.
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you, princess.” He leaned down so his lips brushed against hers. “You’re too much.”
She smiled. “I did buy a dress for the dance tomorrow. You have to act appropriately starstruck.”
“How about lovestruck?”
Her eyes widened. He’d said it before he could catch himself, but it was true. The fact he was falling in love with her was becoming harder and harder to deny. He had no idea what he was going to do about it, and even less how she’d react. But before he could wonder anymore, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.
Her lips tasted like the mocha she’d just been sipping. He thought about the first time he’d kissed her in the fire lookout. She’d wanted to know more about him. It was the first time he’d felt like any woman had given a damn about his life. He wasn’t a perfect man, far from it. But she’d embraced that imperfection with all of her. For EJ, that counted for a lot.
She broke the kiss and pulled away. “I can’t wait until tomorrow,” she said softly. “I’m having the most fun.”
He gazed down at her. The girl who’d made a vow never to celebrate Christmas again. The girl who’d been hurt by her father, but had come to his aid anyway.
She was flourishing now. Inside and out.
“Me too, Jemma.”
“And there’s not even snowboarding involved.”
No, there wasn’t. But it was a wild ride, nonetheless.
Chapter Seventeen
Jemma stood in front of the dresser mirror and ran her hands down the calf-length taffeta dress. It was red as a cherry and flared out at the hips, accentuating her curves. The neckline was low, but not too low. It reminded her of a 1950’s Sofia Loren number, and that made her feel classic and sexy.
She’d pulled her hair into a bun and wore a pair of dangly rhinestone earrings she’d bought from the local thrift store. She wore a little more makeup than usual—berry-red lip gloss and two coats of mascara that made her eyes pop.
She looked at the clock. Ten minutes until she was supposed to meet EJ in the lobby. The auction would start at seven, with the dance shortly after. When they’d set the tree up earlier, the ballroom looked like a Christmas wonderland, with lights, twinkling wreaths, and flocked snow everywhere. The trees were all super creative. She’d gotten a peek at Java Café’s, and it was going to be a hard one to beat. Disney-themed, covered in candy and toys and everything else a little kid might be drawn to. Even she’d had a hard time not reaching out and touching it.
EJ had smiled and pulled her away. “That’s the enemy’s. Let’s go, princess.”
She stood in her hotel room now and looked around. She’d grown to love this place. It wasn’t just the Graff, which was magical tonight with the bustling activity downstairs and the anticipation of the dance looming. But Marietta itself, whi
ch exuded such joy that it was impossible not to be taken in by it all.
She’d talked to Joe earlier, and he planned on being here. One of his friends would pick him up, and even though she’d argued it would be too much, he’d insisted. She felt like tonight was the culmination of something special, something real. She refused to let herself worry about tomorrow.
Smiling at her reflection, she grabbed her sparkly clutch, which she’d also found at the thrift store, and patted her hair one more time.
She was Cinderella. And her prince was waiting.
EJ walked through the doors of the hotel a few minutes early. Which was surprising, since he’d had to park three blocks away. It seemed like the entire town had converged on the Graff, which he guessed it had. It was always a popular night in Livingston, with a chance to get dressed up and dance until the early hours of the morning. But it was Marietta’s moment to shine this year. He knew the champagne would flow freely at midnight, and the lights in the ballroom would dim, leaving only the Christmas lights overhead illuminating the falling confetti. It was something Jemma would love, and he found himself anticipating the second her face would transform in wonder.
He looked around the lobby, which buzzed with people. Women in fancy gowns on the arms of their husbands or boyfriends who were dressed to the nines—most of them in expensive western wear that usually didn’t see the light of day until someone got married or graduated.
The mood was definitely festive, even though clouds were gathering overhead and the forecast called for snow. But this was Montana, and its residents weren’t fazed by a little weather.
Bob from the front desk waved from across the room. He wore a suit and tie tonight. The latter of which had tiny lights woven throughout that were lit and blinking.
Grinning, EJ waved back. Then Bob glanced over at the staircase and pointed. EJ looked, and his heart nearly stopped inside his chest.
Jemma stood on the top landing. When their eyes met, a slow smile spread across her lips. She was probably the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And that included the jagged mountains and raging rivers of Montana that he loved so much. Jemma was on another plane, making other things pale in comparison. She’d done something different to her hair. Silky tendrils fell around her face, framing it. And the dress... The dress alone made him want to slide the rich, iridescent fabric up her thighs.
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