by Emilia Finn
“Were you mad?” I study his eyes. “That I was dancing.”
He slides a little more pancake between his lips to buy himself time to think. “I don’t know. I guess I was a tiny bit mad, but not nearly as much as I was intrigued. It’s not like you were naked. You weren’t twerking, or shaking your ass for them. No one touched you.”
“Except that one guy that grabbed my hand.”
“I was three seconds from snapping it the fuck off,” he grumbles. “But overall?” He shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t too mad. I would have lit the place on fire if you’d taken your top off like that other dancer, but since you didn’t…” He shrugs. “It’s just dance.”
“My dad would lose his mind if he ever knew.” My voice goes quieter. Shame-filled. “He would light the town on fire, and then he’d give me the disappointed eyes. He didn’t raise me so I could become a whore.”
Mac frowns at the grief in my voice. Cutting a little piece of pancake, he offers it, and holds the fork by my lips until I reluctantly accept. “Dancing doesn’t make you a whore.” He arches a daring brow. “Trust me, if you were crossing the line into something more, I would have removed you. But I trusted you to be making the right choices for you, so I kept watch. All you did was dance, then you walked away.” He lifts a shoulder, and lets it drop again. “That doesn’t make you a whore.” He winks when I meet his eyes. “And that’s the fourth time you’ve evaded answering my question. You think I don’t notice?”
“I lost a bet.” I clear my throat and concentrate on cutting my pancakes. “I made a bet last year at the fights. I thought it was a sure thing, so I went big. I lost, and the bet was more of a dare. They wanted their money, but I had to be humiliated first.”
“Is it done?” His voice drops lower. Deeper. More dangerous. “Bet is repaid. You’re free?”
I shrug. “Pretty much. I technically still owe a few hundred bucks, but I can get that from the bank and move on with my life. What are they gonna do? Say no to cash simply because I didn’t dance for it?”
“You can dance for me.” He reaches for the remote on the couch, points it at the stereo that sits by the ice cream statue, and flicks it on so Selena Gomez’s voice gently fills the room. “I’ll toss cash at you.”
“You’re such an asshole.” Laughing, I snatch the remote and slide it along the floor until it hits the linoleum tiles in the kitchen. “I’ll dance for you. But the second you toss money, I’ll kick your nuts into your throat. You know I have good aim.”
“I don’t want any of that. I literally only just started getting laid. I don’t wanna ruin it yet.” He grins when I do nothing but glower in response. “Seriously, though. This bet; it’s all done? Everything is settled? They’re not a problem for you anymore?”
“Nah. What are they going to do? They have the money, debt is repaid, and if they want to bitch about it, I’ll challenge them to a round in the octagon. They’re bullies, and bullies tend to cry when they’ve been stood up to. If you didn’t know about it, they’d have some leverage. I’d probably be a little scared of you finding out. Out of context, it does sound pretty bad.”
“But I do know.”
I grin. “Exactly. So I have nothing to worry about. And I learned my lesson; no more gambling. It’s not worth the damn drama.”
Once we finish our pancakes, and Deck wanders out of the room in search of food, I take him outside for a fast pee, bring him in and promise breakfast tomorrow, then I take Mac’s hand and lead him back to his room. Because I have that power now. I have that permission. And I’ll be damned if he ever takes it back.
Deck is ordered to lay on the floor, Mac is ordered to remove my clothes, and just minutes after that, we slide together beneath the covers and create enough warmth that neither of us shiver in the early morning darkness.
Mac
Interruptions
My body clock wins out over exhaustion. I leave Lucy in bed snuggled up beside the giant dog that doesn’t give a single shit about orders, and head into the living room to clean up the mess we didn’t clean earlier. Taking the dishes to the kitchen, I stop by the counter and start working through my medications. With a glass of water on stand-by, I take one of the red pills, two of the cream. One green, and another that is half green, half pink.
Fuck knows what that one is for.
I drink to wash them down, then move into the white section: round, and capsules. A couple that fizz on my tongue, and a Vitamin C as an added bonus, because I have to stay healthy. I’m like a walking drugstore, and if I jumped up and down right now, you could probably hear them all rattle inside my stomach.
Instead of being bitter that I have to take them, I work on being thankful that I have them. Instead of being bitter that they take up most of my paycheck, I try to be thankful that I have a paycheck, and though things might be tight, at least it’s enough to cover them and the rent. And at the end of the day, I can still buy groceries and take Lucy out for the occasional ice cream date.
I’ve been so focused on how little I have for so long, I forgot to be thankful for what I do have.
Which, ironically, is what Lucy and my friends have been shouting at me for years. I have a heart, when many people die waiting. I have medication; many people can’t afford theirs. I have an apartment, shitty as it may be, but at least I have it, and maybe we have to wear sweatpants and socks instead of frolicking around with nothing on, but at least I have sweatpants that I can help my girl step into.
My girl…
She’s mine. And that right there is the silver lining I’ve been searching for all this time. I thought I had to push her away, because this isn’t the kind of life she should be forced to live. I thought my bitterness was the reason she should run far, far away. But now that she’s here, suddenly things seem a little easier to swallow.
Having her, keeping her, gives me new reason to keep going. It makes it easier to accept what I have and to make the best of it. I don’t need to give her a mansion. I just have to be in the same bed as she is each night. I don’t need to give her diamonds – she doesn’t want them anyway – I just have to bring her coffee in the mornings.
With a smile on my face that I haven’t worn in too long to remember, I turn to the kettle and switch it on. No fancy coffee machine here, but hey, at least I have a kettle to boil my water, and a tin of the best instant sludge that ever graced the shelves of Jonah’s Store.
“It’s too early for this. Evie! I said no.”
“It’s fine.”
My front door opens. No knock, no manners, no fucking clue, as Evie and Ben let themselves into my apartment. My eyes flick back to the hall where Lucy sleeps. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I stand at the counter with two mugs set out in front of me, the carton of almond milk, and the kettle throwing up steam on the counter lining the wall behind me.
“See!” Evie thrusts a hand in my direction. “He’s awake. I told you he would be.”
“Uhh…”
“Morning.” She walks right in, wraps her arms around my hips for a fast hug, and peeking into the mugs, she spins and grabs the kettle to fill them. Dropping in a little milk and a spoonful of sugar, she lifts one of the mugs and inhales like it’s her oxygen. “Mmm. Cheap or fancy, caffeine smells so fucking good first thing in the morning.”
“You good there, just helping yourself to my shit?”
“Mm. Thank you.” She takes a testing sip, and hisses when it burns her. “Shit. It’s cold out today. Winter is gonna kick our asses.”
“Pretty sure it’s already begun.” Ben steps up to the counter and offers a mindless fist bump. I oblige him, but his eyes are for his girl, and mine are for the open door in my hallway. Deck will hear them, and technically, Evie is his owner. He’ll come galloping out in search of food. And then I’m going to have to explain why my best friend’s sister is in my bed.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Her,” is all Ben offers as he snatches up the second mug and i
nhales. “It’s weigh-in day, and she’s having a conniption. Something about making sure Iowa turns up.”
“So you came here? You figured Iowa and I are friendly enough that he’s staying at my apartment?” I scoff. “Not so. I’m sure the dude is nice, but he ain’t my friend. Maybe after he wraps my fuckin’ belt around my hips, we can be pals.”
“Good.” Evie points at me. The mug remains by her face, the steam filling her nostrils and clearing up whatever the cold outside did to her nose, but her finger points from around the mug, and her sparkling blue eyes stare straight into mine. “Good attitude, Blair. Come on, Sasquatch. We can go.”
“That’s it?” He stops midway through unlacing his sneakers and glares. “Seriously? You made us run all the way over here just to check in and see what kinda mood he’s in?”
“Uh huh. And now we know he’s ready to kick ass. Saddle up. We ride.” She moves across the apartment, small as it may be, drops the half-empty mug onto the counter beside my elbow, and spins away with a flourish to leave, only to skid on her heels and stare down the hall.
At Lucy, who stands in what I expect is nothing but my blanket, pulled straight from my bed.
“Shit.”
“Oh… my…” Evie turns to Ben and cackles. “Fuck!”
“What?” Fixing his laces, Ben walks into the kitchen to stop beside his fiancée, only to choke – he literally chokes on nothing – when he finds his sister standing in the hall with sex-messed hair, sleepy eyes, and plump lips made plumper because of me.
I was rough with her this morning, but she was rough back. She wanted everything I gave, and gave back her own.
“Uh…” Speechless, he studies her with a myriad of moods flittering across his face. Rage, confusion, rage, acceptance, a little more rage, and then his eyes come to me. He looks me up and down, then he looks at the mugs. His eyes go back to Lucy, and his chest empties of air. His shoulders bow in, his brows furrow. “Well… fuck.”
“That’s exactly what they did.” Evie giggles like a schoolgirl and throws her head back so her curls bounce. “Finally! Fucking hell, it finally happened. Oh, hey, Deck.” Her eyes dance as the sleepy dog meanders into the hall to guard his girl. “What did your mommy do last night, huh? Was it nasty?”
“Shut up.” I grab the half-empty mug and head into the hall, since Lucy doesn’t seem inclined to move. Or speak. “Here.” I stand in the center of the hall and block her from view of the others, just in case, God forbid, the blanket falls. “I made you coffee. I was gonna bring it to you.”
She accepts it with a shy grin, peeks inside, and frowns. “It’s half gone.”
“That’s Smalls’ fault. She took it without asking.” Bravely, considering I could easily end with an axe in my back because of her protective brother, I fold a little lower and stare into her eyes. I pucker my lips, and when her eyes flip to them, then a small smile appears, I move forward and press a kiss to seal the deal.
I’m kissing her in front of others. That’s me saying I’m in, and because she’s smart, she knows it.
She loosens up and kisses me back. “Good morning,” she murmurs when I pull back. “We’ve got visitors?”
“Uninvited,” I answer with a grin. “They let themselves in.”
“We can hear you,” Smalls huffs. “Jesus. How long has this been going on?” She pushes her way into the hall and shoves me to the side so she can take my place in front of her cousin. “Uh… didn’t think to text me about this? What about the best friend rules?”
“He’s my best friend.” Lucy’s words are quiet, but so fucking brutal, I can’t help but burst out in a mocking laugh.
“Burn! Fuck, that felt good. Yes.” I grab her in a rough side hug and pull her under my arm. “Jesus, that felt better than sex.” I look to Ben, since he’s still staring. “And that felt pretty fuckin’ epic.”
“I’ll kill you.” He slowly walks forward with clenched fists and a grinding jaw. I say walk, but in reality, what he’s doing could be described as a stalk, or a prowl.
If it was his other sister, Liv, or hell, his mother, I’d already be a dead man. But his relationship with Lucy has always been strange. He’s known her as long as I have, and the protective instincts he carries for her just aren’t the same he has for the other women in his life. It’s not that he loves her less. Just that he didn’t grow up with her, and he’s not sure of his role when it comes to his fighter sister.
“Blair, swear to god,” he growls, “if you don’t make it right, I’m gonna have to rearrange your face.”
“So I guess this is us announcing that we’re together.” I can’t help the grin that crosses my face. Or how it grows when Lucy peeks up and smiles in response.
More than coffee and sex, she wants my public acknowledgement of us. She wants me to stop running away.
“I’m in love with Lucy Kincaid, but I suppose you guys already knew that.”
“I knew,” Smalls quickly tosses down. “Something to do with how you’re always staring at each other. Plus, there was the time she told me.”
I glance down. “You told her you love me?”
She wraps her arm around my stomach and rests her cheek on my chest. “I feel like I’ve been saying it since high school. I told everyone. I even told you.”
“It’s true,” Smalls says. “It’s been common knowledge for a long time. In fact,” she reaches into a small pocket built into her leggings, and yanks out her phone. “I had money on this. I gotta call my mom.”
“No!” Sloshing her coffee, Lucy dives forward and snatches the phone away from her cousin. “Don’t announce it by phone tree, jerk. I wanna talk to my daddy.”
“Uncle Jimmy will be fine.” Smalls attempts to swipe her phone back. “He knew this was coming.”
“I’m not telling him via text!” Lucy holds the phone down low, and lifts a brow when Deck steps forward to sniff. “Stand down and let me talk to my dad in person, or Deck gets a new chew toy. He’s not trained, so he won’t be gentle.”
“I know he’s not trained!” Smalls yelps when he opens his mouth. “Okay, stop. I won’t snitch, but tell him fast. I have money riding on this.”
“You shouldn’t bet anymore.” Lucy offers the phone back with a laugh. “Sometimes we lose, and that shit stings when it’s to the wrong person.”
“The very lecture we’ve been giving you for years.” Smalls rolls her eyes and slides the phone back into her pocket. “Whatever. We’ve got weigh-in today, so you have an hour to shower away the stench of sex, get dressed, and tell your daddy you’re spoiled goods. Then it’s time to work.”
“I’m not spoiled.” And yet, she steps back in close, wraps an arm around my hips, and begins sipping her coffee. She doesn’t even flinch when my cheap instant concoction hits the back of her throat. Like Smalls said, caffeine is caffeine, and name brands won’t change that. “I’m…” She considers. “Content.” Then she smiles. “Happy.”
“Good.” Evie steps forward with a genuine smile that speaks of their friendship. Cousins by marriage, best friends by heart, she presses a long, closed-mouth kiss to her lips and pulls back with sparkling eyes. “I’m so truly happy for you. You have no clue how happy this makes me. You deserve the world, Beanie Baby.” She peeks at me, then back to Lucy. “And now you have it.”
They humble me. So fucking much.
The net worth of all of the people in this apartment is upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars. Literally. Smalls has the most; seeing as her biological father was a prick that did bad things, she now commands bank accounts that possess lots and lots of zeroes. Ben was a world champion title holder who was paid seven figures for his last fights before stepping away from the mainstream fighting circuit. Add in Lucy’s family money, plus the fact all three of these people won their respective divisions at Stacked Deck last year, earning them each another half a million dollars – not one of them ever has to work another day of their lives.
And here I stand, broke and bro
ken, but one of them.
“Welcome to the family, Blair. Once you’re in, you’re in. If you want out, your departure will come complete with cement shoes and a large body of water.”
I laugh and accept her awkward side hug when she tries to include Lucy, but without knocking the blanket free.
“Seriously, guys. This has made my day. Okay, let’s go.” She pulls back and grabs Ben’s still clenching hand. “Relax, Sasquatch. You can breathe through it while we run home.” She turns away to leave, only to swing back around to look at Lucy. “Want me to take Deck? You’ve had him for a whole day already.”
“No, leave him.” Lucy’s hand goes down to scratch his ears. “I think I’m gonna keep him forever. Ya know, if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course.” Smalls looks to the dog and grins. “He’s not going far, so I’m okay with it. He’ll still get to come play with Cass and the babies.”
“I’m not quite ready for him permanently, since I’m still finishing up at school, so I’ll keep him when I’m here, but I’ll have to bring him back when I’m not.”
“I’ll take care of him.” I press a kiss to the top of her head when she startles at my offer. “I’m kind of already attached, so whatever. He can live here. I’ll take him to the garage during the day, to the gym when I train. It’ll be fine.”
Smalls tilts her head to the side and grins. “Sounds like it’s sorted, then. You probably should get him booked into puppy school or something. He has terrible manners. Worse than all the others.”
“Because she picked the stupidest one.” I buck to the side when Lucy slams her fist into my ribs. “Ouch!”
“Don’t call him stupid. He’s a sweetheart. He saved my life last night. I forgot to tell you.”
“You forgot?” Smalls grins. “What got you distracted, Bean?”
“None of your business,” Lucy shoots back. “But also, penis.”
“I’m done.” Ben grabs his fiancée’s hand and drags her toward the door. “Don’t ever say ‘penis’ again, you fuckin’ freaks.”