Maybe.
“Farron?”
“You swear a lot,” I told him, smiling at him, covering the direction my mind went with humour.
Nixx narrowed his blues at me, but thankfully didn’t push for me to be honest with him, although I had a sinking feeling Nixx wasn’t the type to be happy to be left in the dark.
“Yeah, I do, is that going to be a problem for you baby? For us?” he asked, his thumbing sweeping a gentle path on the top of my hand, sending shivers to all the right places.
Us. It held so much more meaning than the two little letters intended. Provoked questions, demanded answers.
Us. It sounded so lovely but scary at the same time. Opening up to a man, letting him in and trusting him. Was I even capable of such things like trust, honesty with my feelings, sharing parts of me I had kept hidden for so long?
Nixx and I together was a very enticing thought to consider. I was very attracted to him, drawn to his easy manner and down to earth, no bullshit personality. His honesty was very refreshing, as was the loyalty he showed for his loved ones. The man was perfect, all wrapped up in a sexy, flannel package.
Taking a steady breath, I leaned forward, and before I could chicken out, pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
“No, it isn’t going to be a problem for us, Nixx,” I whispered, making the decision right at that moment to jump in with both feet, praying I was making the right choice for not only me but for my son as well.
FENIXX
“Farron took the night off from the restaurant to get away from work, and you bring pizza for tea fuckhead,” I drawled, shaking my head at my brother as he hoed into another slice of wood-fired pizza from Farron’s place. The idiot smiled through his mouthful, unrepentant and smug.
“You didn’t specify what you wanted us to bring, cock-wit. Next time more information or go get it yourself, you lazy arse—”
Makena reached out and slapped her husband on the back of the head, making me laugh and Farron giggle.
Our time today was mostly spent outside strolling the property, showing Farron and Dillion around, introducing them to the Triple H workers and generally getting to know each other. She was coming around, her walls were still there, but the more we talked today, the more she was letting me in. Just her letting me hold her hand while we walked and talked gave me hope that she was giving me a chance. I had not made an attempt to kiss her again, although I really wanted to after Farron planted that kiss on me in the golf buggy, I had learned a few things about the intriguing Ms Hill, other than that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, ever.
Farron was scared. Scared of letting me close, scared of showing her true self to me and the risk of being rejected.
Like that would ever fucking happen.
The word skittish came to mind over and over whenever I thought of my stunning brunette. Going at her like a bull at a gate would serve no purpose no matter how bad I wanted to lay her out on my bed and worship her curves with my tongue.
“Would you two please act your age,” Makena reprimanded both Noxx and me in a tone she usually used on Daxx when he was acting up. “And mind your language, Daxx has hero-worship when it comes to his dad and uncles. He copies just about everything you say and do, not to mention Onyxx is six months old now, and if her first word has the words cock or dick associated with it, there will be pain for both of you,” Makena lectured, holding her and Lenoxx’s baby girl on her lap.
“What about Hendrixx?” Noxx complained, “He swears more than Nixx and I put together.”
“You are such a child. How you are a CEO astounds me, brother.”
“Says the man who rips his shirt sleeves off whenever he buys a new shirt. What are you a—”
“Nixx, please take your niece while I sort your brother out,” Makena interrupted, getting up and giving me the baby girl, then turning and grabbing Lenoxx by the hand and leading him away from the entertaining area with Noxx in tow.
“She is going to yell at him, isn’t she?” Farron asked, watching them walk off into the darkness.
“Most likely, then he will find a dark, secluded spot and have sex,” I answered absently as I stood Onyxx on her feet on my thighs and blew raspberries on her chubby belly. I had spent enough time over at Waterford Views to know exactly how one of Makena’s lectures to Noxx ends. For some reason, the man liked it when his wife got all bossy and authoritative. Sicko.
“She is adorable,” Farron commented, touching her fingers to my niece’s blonde curls.
“She is the most beautiful creature in the world, present company excepted,” I said, winking at my girls.
“You are good with her, most guys run a mile when they’re asked to hold a baby that isn’t theirs and some even then.”
Something in the way Farron phrased her comment had me thinking that Alec was behind her assumption. Good thing for Farron and me, I was nothing like him.
“Not me, baby. I can’t get enough of this little munchkin, her daddy and Uncle Drixx don’t make it easy to get in my cuddle time because they are baby hogs, but she loves her Uncle Fenny the best, don’t you baby doll?” I cooed, smacking a kiss to her fat cheek and receiving an excited shriek and a slap to my cheeks in return.
Farron laughed and leaned in closer to me and the baby, her head close to leaning on my shoulder.
“Uncle Fenny? Cuddle time? It sounds like this little female has you wrapped around her chubby finger.”
“Yep,” I agreed proudly, “since the day we found out Makena was pregnant with her. We missed seeing Daxx born, didn’t even know he existed until he was three.”
“Oh my god! How did that happen?”
“Basically, my dad happened. Long story, which I will tell you one day, but the short of it is, Dad hated Makena’s dad and caused a fuck lot of heartache to get revenge. Collateral damage didn’t concern my father on his journey to self-righteousness, Makena and Daxx weren’t even a blip on his radar,” I muttered angrily, hating to talk about my father in such a way, but there was no other way to think about him now. He destroyed all feelings, and all good memories were replaced with disdain and anger.
Farron’s soft hand cupped the side of my face, gently turning my head until her pretty brown eyes came into view.
“Sorry Nixx, I didn’t mean to make you mad asking that question,” she whispered, her teeth pulling at her lip worriedly.
“Don’t be sorry for wanting to know about me. For you, I am an open book. You want to know something, then ask me. There is nothing I won’t tell you,” I argued vehemently. Getting off to a good start in our relationship was pretty important to me, being truthful a big part of that, from the size of my shoes to what my heart wanted. I will never keep anything from her, and in return, I expected the same.
“Baby.” Pausing, I ran my thumb over her lips and gently pulled at her bottom one releasing it from her teeth’s grasp. “I don’t anger easily, it takes a lot to get me riled up, my brother’s idiotic behaviour the only exception to that rule. Nothing about me is off-limits to you, and one day you will feel the same for me, you’ll see that I am serious about wanting us so much you will want to tell me everything on your mind. Share every secret, every dream, every idea.” Slipping my free hand around the back of her neck, I pulled her closer to me until her lips were a hair’s breadth away from mine. Onyxx now comfortably asleep on my shoulder, falling asleep while she was pulling at my ear. The little girl had a knack for sleeping anywhere and anytime, making her the prefect child.
“I wanted you to include me into your day, get to the point where I am always in your thoughts. Be the man you can talk to about anything and everything, and never afraid to ask anything.”
“You don’t want much do you, Nixx,” Farron said, with a shaky laugh.
“Don’t do that baby, don’t hide behind flippant humour, please. A relationship works because both people are all in it fully. Holding back even the most minute piece of yourself means you don’t trust me, Farron.”
Sexual tension crackled between us, even with my sleeping niece nestled to one side, it was like there was only Farron and me, sitting so close to each other, breathing in each other’s air.
“What if you don’t like the real me?” Farron croaked out, refusing to look at me. “What if I don’t measure up or can’t … you know, do what a woman is supposed to do for a man.”
I felt my eyebrows pull together, confused for a minute what she was getting at, then it dawned on me, and my blood boiled right there and then.
“You are worried you won’t be able to satisfy me?” I enquired quietly, my teeth practically grinding in an effort to control myself from getting pissed off.
“It’s a legitimate concern,” she answered, closing her eyes.
“Look at me Farron. Baby, look at me,” I repeated, forcing her head back so I could see her stunning face and waited until she did my bidding and looked at me.
“Good girl,” I encouraged, “there is nothing more beautiful to me than your gorgeous face and amazing eyes. They are the window to your soul Farron, the truth behind your words.”
“Every time I sat in your restaurant, my dick was hard; all it would take was hearing your laugh, every night in bed when I grabbed my cock, closed my eyes, and conjured up your image, my dick exploded with just one pump. My imagination is good, but it paled in comparison to actually kissing you for the first time, tasting your sweetness. Make no mistake about it, Farron Hill, you are the one for me. I can say that with absolute certainty.” My voice staying quiet so as not to wake the baby, or god forbid, she hears me say a certain word and repeat it one day.
Farron’s pink tongue swept over her bottom lip, and that one innocent move crumbled my resolve to take it slow and give her time before letting out the beast in me. The beast that was begging to claim his mate, to make it impossible for her to even consider leaving me, to see that I was the only one for her too.
Groaning deep in my throat, the last thread of my control snapped. Her glistening lips were beckoning to me to take them properly.
Cupping the side of her face, my lips covering hers in a deep, open-mouthed kiss. It was quick but no less meaningful, getting lost in Farron with my niece asleep on my shoulder, not the best idea, and not one to get me uncle of the year.
“Are you making out with your girlfriend while holding my sleeping daughter?” The sound of my brother’s outraged question keeping me from my new favourite flavour.
Farron.
Moaning against her lips, I felt them turn up into a smile. “He is such an arsehole,” I grumbled, but silently thankful for the reminder, this was not the place to get into a heavy petting session. I was acutely aware that the night was getting on, and Dillion was still out in the mechanics shed with Eddy checking out the various bikes we had on the farm. I promised him that I would help him learn the basic mechanical skills needed to maintain a dirt bike and I intended to keep my word.
“Don’t be a dick Noxx, she is fine and very much unaware of what just happened,” I replied drolly, relieving the bundle to her father.
“You could traumatise her with that shit, scare her for life,” he accused, settling Onyxx in the crook of his arm and immediately started to sway her gently.
“Um, hello pot meet kettle. You are one to talk, you and your wife can’t even wait until you get home to attack each other, even a guest doesn’t stop you from getting nasty in the nearest dark corner.”
“Yeah? Well at least we … fuck you Nixx,” Noxx finished lamely, realising the battle was well and truly lost.
Rolling the shoulder Onyxx had been lying on, I worked out the kinks. Onyxx may be the sweetest, most adorable little bug ever born, but she was a tub of chub and heavy for a six-month-old.
“As much as I find you two entertaining, I think it is time to go home,” Farron announced, standing up, then surprising me by extending her hand for me to take.
“Dillion has school tomorrow, and he is hard enough to wake when he has a good nine to ten hours of sleep, less and it is near impossible to rouse him.” Her voice was light, but I heard the huskiness, the kiss might have been quick but it affected her just as much as I had hoped.
“Shit, sorry baby, I forgot about it being a school night,” I apologised, getting up with her and lacing my fingers around hers.
“Where is Mack?” I asked Noxx, noticing his wife had not returned with him.
“Up at the house fixing her hair,” he answered smugly.
“Such a dick,” I laughed, pulling a giggling Farron away from the entertaining area and heading in the direction where Dillion was happily exploring.
The sound of Farron’s carefree giggle filling my senses and my heart.
“Fucking love that sound,” I mumbled so quietly I wasn’t sure she heard it until I felt her fingers tighten around mine, telling me she had … and liked it.
FARRON
Sitting in the dingily lit pub, crammed into a fifties style, fake leather padded booth, I stared at the two women across the table joining them in fits of laughter, three half-full glasses of sub-par beers in front of us.
“I can’t believe you said that, Blake,” I choked out in-between giggles.
“Why? He asked me what I wanted and my husband is all about giving me everything my heart desires,” the beautiful blonde replied sassily, her gorgeous hair bouncing around her shoulders as she flipped it back and forth like a diva. Blake Hott was anything but a diva, something I discovered quickly at the beginning of our girls’ night out arranged by Makena so we could all get to know each other. I liked her when she came into the restaurant to pick up her order, but never really spoke to her other than, ‘Hi, how are you?’. Getting to know her, I found that Blake was my kind of person: funny, loving and downright mischievous.
After the night at the Triple H, Nixx followed Dillion and I home where he kissed me gently goodnight then left. To say I had been disappointed with the sweet but chaste kiss was surprising to me. I was the one to ask for slow, and Nixx being the wonderful man he is, was doing exactly that. That truth didn’t stop the flow of irritation and frustration or the overwhelming need to suck Nixx’s tongue into my mouth and devour the sexy man.
That had been a week ago, and the last time I had been out to his place. Life and business had gotten in the way this week. The restaurant had three of its busiest dinner trades in a row, keeping me at work without a break. Dillion injured his ankle in the schoolyard rendering him homebound and demanding of my time. Nixx had an emergency at Waterford Views with a few breeding heifers putting a date night on hold, and worst of all, he hadn’t been in for his nightly pizza for two nights now.
I missed him so much, and that was a very strange place to find myself. I spent years alone at night while Alec was ‘working late’, enjoying the reprieve from acting like the wife I was supposed to be. Those times I relished that there was no expectation to perform for Alec, not sweat on having sex when all I wanted was to be cuddled and kissed. Something Alec was not prepared to give and admittedly I stopped asking for from him.
Alec’s favourite snark was to say to me he would kiss me when I stopped asking, he accused me of being pathetic and desperate, begging for affection, making him feel less than a man. I stopped asking and the only good thing that came out of that decision was he ceased berating me, not completely just for that.
Nixx, on the other hand, wanted to touch me, and this time it was me holding back. Our relationship was definitely on, that I had to admit. He’d called me every night the past week to ask me how my day was, even though he saw me at work earlier in the night. When he heard about Dillion’s sprain, he rushed over to spend time with him while I worked, so Dillion wasn’t alone the whole time, bringing a game console with him and a plethora of games. It was still set up in Dillion’s room even though he was back up on his feet now, Nixx g
ifting it to my son to use for as long as he wanted. He constantly surprised me with his generosity and his genuine feelings for my child. They weren’t pretend just to get into my pants, Nixx actually liked Dillion and the feeling was mutual.
Dillion had gone from being all about motorbikes and footy to all about Fenixx Hott, and in my heart of hearts, it didn’t worry me as much as I had first thought. One of my main concerns getting involved with Nixx was how Dillion would be affected if things didn’t work out with Nixx and me, or in fact, if Dillion resented Nixx in his life taking the place of his father. I shouldn’t have worried, they had their feelings under control better than I did mine.
“So, Farron,” Makena asked, reaching over the table and patting me on the hand, “how are things going with Hottie 3? I’m sorry I have been stealing him away so much this week, but a heifer developed a problem with her pregnancy. She is worth a lot of money as is her unborn calf, so Nixx and I have been practically babysitting her until the meds the vet gave her started to work.”
“Oh, don’t apologise Makena, I understand and am used to sitting back and waiting for my turn.” As soon as the words left my lips, I regretted them instantly. They made me sound pathetic and neglected, and I wasn’t that, not anymore.
Leaving Alec and starting over again in Cattle Ridge, and buying a business all on my own gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had grit and determination, and that I wasn’t a lazy, useless female like Alec led me to believe for so many years.
Blake and Makena sat before me, both of them looking shocked at what I said, both crushing their hands to mine.
“Oh no, I didn’t mean how it sounded,” I rushed to explain, seeing their sympathetic expressions, “I just meant, well that I am used … no, that’s not it … it’s just that my ex never spent … nope, not that either.” Seeing smiles start to appear and replace the two women’s frowns, I threw up my hands and huffed.
“Who wants another drink?” I asked, laughing at myself and thankfully so did Blake and Makena. Signalling to the waitress for a round of Vodka Sunrises, I plastered on a smile and waited for the onslaught of questions I knew were coming.
Hott and Handled (The Hott Brothers Book 3) Page 7