Zac gave his friend a withering stare. “I’m tired.”
“Sure you are.” Priya shook her head and took her fiancé’s hand. “I think we’ll head up to our room too. Long day tomorrow.”
“I guess we’ll all make an early night of it, then,” Ellen said, putting her arm around Liz. “See you all in the morning.”
“Good night,” Zac said, and managed to steer Carmen out through a side entrance to the ballroom just as his parents drew too near for comfort.
With his hand on her lower back, Zac hurried Carmen toward the elevators.
“What’s happening here?” she asked, after pushing the “Up” button. “You’re acting strangely.”
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he said, jamming his finger on the button himself, as if that would make it come faster.
His chest had constricted and he felt like he couldn’t breathe, as if the walls were closing in, as memories of that final argument with his father flashed in his mind.
“Are you tired?” he asked.
“No, but I thought you were.” She crossed her arms and stepped back as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. “That’s why we’re leaving, right?”
He exhaled slowly and boarded the elevator after her, hitting the number for their floor. “Actually, I could use some air. Maybe we could get out of here and check out some of the grounds of the resort before bed? Since you’ll be cooped up indoors for the conference most of the time.”
“Oh...” She fiddled with her small evening bag. “I suppose we could take a short walk.”
“Great.” They arrived on their floor and Zac shrugged out of his tux jacket as they walked to their room. “Let’s change—then we’ll go exploring.”
CHAPTER SIX
CARMEN STILL WASN’T sure exactly where they were going when she came out of the bathroom a short while later, dressed in jeans and a blue turtleneck sweater. “Ready. Hope this is warm enough for where we’re going.”
“You’re dressed fine. I thought we’d just walk around the grounds,” Zac said.
He brushed her hands aside when she reached up to remove the pins from her hair. The backs of his fingers brushed the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck, and she shivered as he ran his hands through her curls.
“Blow off some steam...work off some energy. Relax...talk.”
“Talk about what?” she asked as he helped her on with her coat and then shrugged into his own before taking her hand.
Normally she wasn’t the best follower—especially with men who were far too charming for their own good. From the stories she’d heard, her father had been a smooth-talking playboy, and look how that had ended for her mother.
“Maybe we should just stay here and go to bed early. You’re right. I do have an early start tomorrow.”
He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, and she noticed faint lines of tension around his eyes that hadn’t been there before. He looked as on edge as she’d felt at dinner. Maybe a bit of time away wouldn’t hurt after all.
“Stay in the room if you want, Carmen,” he said. “But I’m going. I need some air, like I said. And I thought you might enjoy some quiet time to reflect after the grilling you got at dinner tonight. Plus, we can to go over our fact sheets again—make sure we’ve got all the details memorized correctly in case Priya and Lance decide to quiz us again.”
Maybe he was right. That interrogation at the dinner table had been pretty intense. Besides, her body was still humming with energy after dancing with him. There was no way she’d be able to sleep until she’d worked some of it off.
“Okay. Fine. Let’s go.”
Zac opened the door to their suite and led her out of the room. “Are you hungry?”
“We just ate.”
“No. Everyone else at our table ate.” They stood before the elevator once more. “You barely touched your food. Do you skip meals a lot?”
Surprised, she blinked up at him. Most people didn’t ask about her needs at all. She was there to help them. “No, not often. But I was nervous, meeting Ellen face-to-face for the first time. I’m surprised you noticed.”
“I notice everything about you.”
He gave her a toe-curling smile, raising his hand to brush an errant curl behind her ear.
“I noticed that while you picked up your wineglass a lot you only sipped from it rarely. I’ve noticed that you avert your gaze when you’re embarrassed or ashamed—like when you mentioned the only traveling you’d done was moving your family from Trinidad to Alaska.” He traced his fingertips from her ear down her cheek, then skimmed his thumb along her jawline. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You worked hard to get where you are.”
She swallowed hard, her heart racing. “I’m not embarrassed. I just don’t like talking about myself.”
“Same,” he murmured as the elevator bell dinged.
They rode down to the lobby, then headed outside into the brisk, clear night. The walking trails surrounding the lodge were well lit and well maintained. The snow crunched beneath her boots as they headed off into the night, with what looked like a million stars shining above them.
After about ten minutes of walking through the silent forest, where the smell of spruce was fresh in the air, Carmen couldn’t contain her curiosity anymore.
She shoved her hands into the pockets of her parka for warmth, since she’d left her gloves back in the room. “You said you wanted to talk. How about telling me why you were so cagey at dinner earlier? You kept scanning the dining room like you expected your worst enemy to walk in at any moment.”
He glanced over at her, frowning. “I wasn’t doing that.”
“Yes, you were.” Carmen stepped sideways to avoid tripping over an exposed tree root, then slowed as they approached a bubbling stream partially covered with ice. “Are you sure you know where you’re going? I don’t want to spend the night out here, walking in circles.”
“Trust me.”
The certainty in his tone made her want to do just that—which only set off those warning bells in her head again.
Zac took her hand and led her a short way down to a spot where they could both jump across the water easily. Apparently he’d forgotten his gloves too, since his bare fingers were warm and steady around hers.
“It’s not much farther. Over that next hill. Don’t worry, I won’t let you get lost in the wild tundra. An island girl like you wouldn’t last an hour out here alone.”
“Island girl?” She snorted. “I’m tougher than I look. Like I said, I can take care of myself, thanks. And there’s nothing out here as scary as a drunk frat boy who won’t take no for an answer.”
Zac scowled over at her. “When did that happen?”
“When I was bartending at a hotel in Port of Spain. Rich college kids used to flock there in their droves during spring break. The resort had security, but sometimes they’d wait for us to get off work, thinking we were included in the free perks.”
She shuddered, remembering the night one of those guys had approached her in the parking lot.
“But I took self-defense classes at my neighborhood youth center in Laventille when I was a teenager. A few well-placed elbow jabs and instep stomps do wonders to change a man’s mind when he’s amorous.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.” He kept hold of her hand once they were across the stream. “Some men don’t care about anyone but themselves.”
His somber tone had her thinking that perhaps he wasn’t only thinking about her past.
“Did you go to college?” she asked.
“University of Alaska at Anchorage.”
She smiled. “That’s where I got my graduate degree. What was your major?”
“I graduated in Pre-Med.”
They continued up a small hill.
“You studied to be a doctor? Why
did you end up as a paramedic?”
“I didn’t ‘end up’ as a paramedic. I chose to be a paramedic. There’s a difference.”
She didn’t miss the defensiveness in his voice.
“I love what I do and, like I said, I’m the best EMT in Anchorage. I love being on the front line, helping people in the worst times of their life. Having an MD after my name wouldn’t change that. Do you feel ‘less than’ because you’re a midwife and not an OB physician?”
“No, of course not.” She cringed slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry too. Didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Silence fell as they crested the top of the hill and she looked down to see rows of pens filled with animals. A couple of large buildings were outlined near the back of the area—offices, she supposed. They were dark, obviously closed this late at night. It had to be close to midnight now.
Mournful cries from the caged wolves below filled the air and Carmen swiveled toward Zac, grinning. “A zoo? In the middle of a resort?”
“Rehab center.” His breath frosted on the air as he surveyed the space below them. “All the animals here are native to the area. Some have been injured and are being rehabilitated before being released back into the wild. Some of them are permanent residents, unable to be returned to nature. The keepers here use the permanent residents to teach kids in the local schools. C’mon. Let’s check it out.”
She followed him down the trail to the pens, amazed that he knew so much about this place. It was far enough away from the main resort that it would be hard to find by chance.
They passed enclosures holding elk and moose and reindeer. The wolves were down near the end of the row.
“Tell me how you knew this was here,” she said.
“Guest directory,” he said, walking over to pet the snout of a curious moose near the fencing. “Figured you might enjoy it. I love being outdoors.”
“Me too.” She picked up some hay from a bale nearby and held it out for one of the elks to take. “When I was back home in Trinidad I used to spend every free hour I could at the beach, watching the gulls and the dolphins and the pelicans playing offshore.”
“You must miss all that warmth and sunshine this far north.”
“Sometimes.” She laughed as the elk nuzzled her palm, looking for more food. “But as long as my family is close—that’s most important.”
“Yeah...” He didn’t sound convinced. “Family. What about California? If you get the job you’ll be moving. Will they come with you?”
“That’s the plan.” Carmen glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Doesn’t it bother you? Not being close with your family?”
“Not really. I miss my mother sometimes.” Zac dusted his hands off on his jeans. “But it’s fine. I like being independent.”
“Don’t you get lonely, though? Twelve years is a long time to be without family.”
Taking care of her mother was difficult sometimes, with her dementia, and she and Clara sometimes fought too, but Carmen couldn’t imagine living without them as a part of her life.
“Not really. I mean, that’s what I have friends for, right?”
They continued on down the path through the pens, with everything quiet and peaceful around them. From the way Zac was avoiding her gaze she could tell he wanted her to drop the subject, but she just couldn’t. Not yet.
“Do they live in Anchorage?”
“Who?”
“Your parents.”
“No.” He shrugged then shook his head. “Wouldn’t matter if they did. I still wouldn’t talk to my father.”
She took that in for a moment, along with his troubled expression, the edge of hurt in his tone. “Well, I’m sorry for whatever happened between the two of you. What about your mother? I’m sure she misses you.”
“She’s the reason I left. She forgave my father for his affair. I couldn’t. He broke my mother’s heart. She was able to get past it, but I wasn’t. To keep the peace, I left.” He exhaled slowly and turned around on the path. “We should get back—it’s cold out here.”
Carmen trailed behind him as some things about Zac began to click into place for her. His avoidance of commitment. His fierce loyalty to his friends and his patients. His serial dating to avoid anything permanent, to avoid making the same mistakes his father had made.
Not that she felt comfortable expressing those opinions to Zac at the moment. Besides, his tone at the end had effectively slammed the door on any further conversation on the topic, which was probably for the best. Honestly, she should let it go. After this weekend they’d go their separate ways again and it wouldn’t matter.
But there was something...the flicker of anger and betrayal in his eyes when he’d mentioned his father’s affair.
The image he portrayed in Anchorage was always so carefree and laid-back. Now she knew it masked a deep pain and it made her feel closer to him—even closer than when they’d slept together. Because he didn’t share pieces of his past often. Maybe that was why she continued to be so drawn to him. He remained an enigma, and she’d always loved solving a puzzle.
In fact, her problem-solving skills were part of the reason she was so good at her job. Putting the pieces of her patients’ cases and health histories together to ensure the best outcome possible. She wondered if those same skills would work as well with Zac.
Once they’d reached the top of the hill, they stopped to look down on the animals again. A shimmer of green in the sky caught her attention. She’d seen the Northern Lights several times since moving to Anchorage, but never this vividly. Soon the entire sky was awash with hypnotic waves of greens and light blues and pinks.
“Breathtaking...” she whispered, staring up into the night sky.
“Yes, it is,” he said, but he was looking at her and not at the heavenly show above them.
Time seemed to slow as Zac took Carmen in his arms, his lips brushing hers once, twice, before settling on her mouth. She gasped and he took advantage, shifting closer to deepen the kiss. He tasted of Scotch and sugar and sinful fantasy.
She’d sworn not to kiss him again, to keep things strictly platonic, but this was so perfect. Too perfect. His kiss was as good as she remembered, and so was the hot, solid press of him against her. She slid her fingers up his chest to twine them around his neck and a low moan escaped her throat. At the rough sound, his hands slid from her waist down to her lower back, allowing her to feel the extent of his arousal.
Heat raced through her blood despite the chilly breeze and her knees trembled. If they’d been back in their suite she’d have pushed him down on the bed and had her wicked way with him, despite her vows to the contrary. Unfortunately, they weren’t in their room. They were out in the snow and the wolves were howling and her toes were numb from the cold.
Finally she forced herself to step back and gather what was left of her common sense. They’d had a fling once. She didn’t want to do that again. She had too much going on as it was. Even if Zac wanted forever this time—which he didn’t—given his reputation, she wasn’t interested.
Am I?
No. She was not. Because that would be stupid. Ridiculous. She knew darned well what men like Zac wanted and it wasn’t commitment. Then again, she didn’t want that either, did she? That was why she’d brought him on this trip. Their fling had been nice—hot, even—but it had been just that: a fling.
She had big things ahead of her—the possibility of this new job, goals she wanted to accomplish—and getting herself locked down into a serious relationship with a man wouldn’t help her reach any of those things, would it? No, it would not. Never mind that her heart yearned for more.
So, no matter how tempting Zac and the idea of being with him permanently might be, she’d let him walk away when it was over because that was what was best for everyone.
&nb
sp; “C’mon. Let’s get back to the hotel.”
* * *
Zac wasn’t a stupid man. He knew as soon as Carmen ended their kiss that it was a mistake. She deserved a man who could devote himself to her one hundred percent. A man with no secrets.
That wasn’t him.
Dammit.
He’d agreed to come this weekend because he’d thought it would be simple. Easy in, easy out. Easy enough to avoid his family and his past and to help her out along the way. He was finding out now that it wouldn’t be.
Not that he’d come face-to-face with his father, but the man and his sins still lingered over the place and over Zac like a shroud. Carmen had been right. He had been on guard at dinner, waiting for an enemy—his own father. He’d managed to avoid the man for twelve years. He didn’t plan to end that streak this weekend.
He knew she’d been curious about him earlier, asking all her questions. And he feared he’d been rude by not answering. But it couldn’t be helped. He didn’t let people close. He’d been there, done that, and had the scorch marks on his heart from getting burned by his father’s deception.
Because when you let people in, allowed them into your life and your heart, you only ended up being disappointed and hurt. Never mind that he might be setting his standards too high, setting himself and everyone he cared for up to fail. He was safe, his heart was secure, and that was all that mattered. He’d made the mistake of trusting people, loving people before, with his father, and it had ripped him to shreds. So, no. He wouldn’t be doing that again.
Besides, he had no business being attracted to Carmen anyway. They were friends, work colleagues. And yes, for one brilliant night they’d been lovers. But that was over. There was no point letting her in and baring his soul to her.
She was the opposite of the women he usually got involved with. She was smart. She was tough. She was proud and perfect and passionate. She’d clawed her way up from nothing to make a life for herself and her family. The thought of that frat boy attacking her back in Trinidad had him clenching his fists at his sides. If he’d been there he’d have flayed that guy alive.
A Weekend with Her Fake Fiancé Page 9