by Ashton Cade
Eli.
It’s crazy and wild, a spontaneous thought, but… Is it so crazy?
The thing is, I’ve always been… open. I’ve never been with a guy, but I’ve had enough curiosity, enough attraction to know that I’ve got to be bi. As much as I enjoy women, my luck in that department hasn’t been so good, and seeing how happy my brothers and cousins are with their partners…
Well, let’s just say it’s tickled an itch in me I didn’t know I needed scratched.
But I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Not just today. I’ve been considering exploring that side of myself, seeing if there are sides of my sexuality I haven’t uncovered yet. We all had a good laugh when Mila revealed she’d originally wanted to set Shane up with me, not Trevor, but the truth was the idea didn’t seem that crazy or undesirable to me.
Obviously not with Shane—he’s with Trevor and I’m not about to step on any toes—but the idea’s been lingering in the back of my mind.
So when Eli took my hand and stroked my palm, his fingertips warm on my skin, his eyes looking at me deeper than would be normal, well, who can blame me for being stuck on it?
I’m sure Eli’s gay. That’s not really much of a question, I don’t think. As far as I know, he hasn’t dated in his time in Umberland, but there’s just a vibe between us. There’s something there that I don’t think is my imagination or my overactive mind conjuring something from my desires.
I know I’m going to see him in the morning when he brings Craig over to work on the greenhouse mess.
Maybe I’ll ask him out.
What’s the worst that could happen?
It’s late enough in the season that I never know when the river’s going to be iced over when I go for a trip in my kayak. Today’s not the day, though, and I’m hiking up from the bank behind my place after an invigorating trip through the rapids—even this time of year they’re a challenge at times—when I spot a car heading up the drive.
Dawn’s only just arrived, the sky a hazy grayish-lavender, not a cloud in sight. It’s going to be a gorgeous day. Maybe I’ll make it up to the falls this afternoon. Business is always slow this time of year, but I’ve got other things on my plate keeping me occupied.
“Morning,” I call out with a wave to them both. Eli is awake, fresh-faced, a thermos of what I’m assuming is coffee in hand. Craig’s about what you’d expect from a fifteen-year-old—surly, glaring, still half-asleep.
“Craig’s ready to get some work in before school today, aren’t you, bud?” Eli says, his voice firm enough that I know what’s really going on. It’s not a surprise that Craig doesn’t want to be here. I get it, really. But I’m hoping that this is a better way to teach him about consequences and the ripples his actions can have than the punishment the justice system would mete out.
I love my brother, and I know Ryan really believes in what he does, but he’ll always be the man to me. There’s no need to get the system involved when we can work this out as reasonable people.
I hope.
“Yeah, whatever,” Craig shrugs when Eli nudges him with the back of his hand.
Eli sighs, rolls his eyes, and gives me an apologetic look that makes me grin.
“First things first,” I tell the kid, heading into the work shed for a broom. “There’s a lot of glass to clean up.”
Craig looks at the broom I’m offering him, then looks over to Eli like he’s expecting him to save him.
“Wear gloves,” Eli says instead. “And put the shards in something that’s not going to be punctured.”
“I’ve got this garbage can right here,” I offer Craig, dragging it from around the shed.
Craig’s still scowling at the broom, but it’s in his hand now. When he decides arguing isn’t going to get him anywhere, he trudges off to the greenhouse.
It’s thirty seconds later when he mutters a curse.
“I’m supposed to clean all of this up?” he asks skeptically, like the task is impossible.
I hold back a laugh. “Never thought about what a mess you were leaving for someone to clean up, did you?” I ask, driving it in a little harder. Yeah, I might be being a little harsh on the kid, but I think he can take it. I think he might need someone to show him that other people matter and it’s worth looking out for each other.
Maybe I’m reading way too far into things, but Ryan told me a little about the kid’s history before I went down to the station. And the fact that Eli’s involved with his life means I’m not the only one that sees something in him. He’s got a chip on his shoulder that could block out the sun, but who didn’t at that age?
I expect Eli to leave once he sees Craig’s down to work, but he leans against the side of the shed instead, sipping his coffee.
“How’d you get involved with Craig?” I ask, not sure what else to talk about. But I wanna talk about something. I want to fill the silence and learn about him.
Thinking about him last night while I was lying in bed didn’t do him justice. At the station he was bedraggled and disoriented. He’s more put-together now, his eyes bright, sharp with a quick wit that’s hard to miss.
“His mom was dating this real peach of a guy. They got into a fight, Craig tried to intervene, the guy bashed his face in with an ashtray. Fractured his eye socket, nearly made him blind in one eye.”
There’s a weird sound, and he stops for a moment, looking at me. I realize the weird sound is me, and I’m growling, my hands balled into fists.
My first thought is “How can anyone let that happen?” and then my next thought is a reminder of how inadequate and underfunded our “systems” are. I’m sure if Ryan knew about all this, he did everything he could to protect the kid and get him out of that situation, but sometimes, everything you can do still isn’t enough. Not when there’s a million cracks to fall through with proof and paperwork.
Eli doesn’t comment on my unexpected growling, but he looks back at Craig and I think he silently agrees.
“I stitched him up and told him to talk to me instead of fighting back. Fighting back was only going to get him hurt, into trouble. I don’t know how, but I guess I got through to him… Well, a little anyway,” he scoffs, looking at the broken shards of glass glittering on the lawn in the early-morning light.
“I’m really sorry about all of this,” he says, shaking his head, frowning, so obviously disappointed that I feel guilty and I’m the victim.
“You didn’t do anything,” I remind him.
He sighs, turning to look at me, and I’m struck by how darn cute he is. Some people might not see the charm in Eli’s sharp nose and sculpted features. But despite having chiseled features that would look severe on someone else, Eli manages to look approachable. He still looks like he might be prone to cattiness or snark—seriously, his eyes are full of a thousand jokes I’m not privy to—but his heart’s in the right place.
That’s the impression I get from him.
It seems to fit though. I mean, what other reason would a guy like him have to come to a town like Umberland to work at our clinic where I’m sure the salary isn’t exactly competitive? He’s gotta have a good heart in there, and it just radiates off him.
“I know I didn’t, but I still feel responsible. I’ve been trying so hard to be a good role model, to keep Craig from making the same… Well, clearly I’m not doing a good enough job.”
I frown, moving in a little closer. Close enough to smell the sweet coffee on his breath, the faint scent of antiseptic and latex that probably always hangs around him, the manly smell underneath.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Breaking some windows is pretty far from the worst thing a kid his age could be doing, and there’s only so much you can do from where you’re at.”
He sighs, his eyes softening, shoulders sagging a little. “I guess you’re right. You’re being very reasonable about this whole thing, you know.”
I shrug. “I’m a firm believer in what goes around comes around. I try to help this kid out
instead of shoving a boot up his ass, and maybe some day when I’m in a pickle, someone will show me the same kindness. If not, well, it’s still what I’d want if it were me or my kid or someone I cared about. Which is another thing—why shouldn’t I care about him just ’cause I don’t know him? We’re all in this together, right? No one gets out of this alive, you know?”
Eli’s brows arch and I realize that I’ve gone on too long, gotten too weird. Time to rein it in.
I blow out a breath and shake my head, giving him a contrite look. “Sorry… I get away from myself sometimes,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck.
Eli looks me over, a smile stretching his lips that warms me up from deep inside and makes me shiver all at the same time.
“You shouldn’t apologize for enthusiasm. Most people are too cool to care about anything.”
I huff a laugh. “Not me. I probably care too much about too many things. I’ve been told it’s exhausting.”
Eli grins at that. “There are worse faults.”
“I’ve got some others you could chime in on for me,” I say, turning on the charm best I can. I don’t really know what I’m doing, though. I’ve never asked a guy out. “If you wanted to go out with me sometime, that is,” I add. “Can’t give away all my secrets straight out the gate.”
“That so?” he asks, smile still there even though he looks like he’s trying to fight it, his eyes glittering as he looks down at his thermos. I saw them though. He can’t hide it from me.
I might not have ever asked a guy out before, but apparently flirting is pretty universal. Score.
“Mm-hmm,” I say, moving in even closer now, close enough that there’s hardly any space between us, and I can hear when his breath catches in his throat, his bright eyes locked on mine.
“You want to go out with me sometime?” he asks, as if he’s not sure he’s heard me right.
“If you wanna get specific about it, sooner rather than later,” I say, my grin going lopsided. Eli’s not normally lost for words from what I’ve seen, so I’m enjoying this moment of him being flustered, the color creeping up his neck as he tries to remind himself to breathe with only a couple of inches separating us.
“How about tonight? Barb’s? Drinks on me,” I say, licking my lips before I grin again. Surely there’s no mistaking my intentions after that, right?
Eli swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing before he slowly nods.
“Yeah, okay,” he says, practically whispering, breathless. “I… I think I’m gonna help him out and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself,” he adds, slipping away from me to supervise Craig’s cleanup.
Just as well; I got what I was after with the date. I’ve got plenty else to do between now and then without being distracted while wondering what it would be like to press my lips against his… What kind of noise he’d make, if he’d gasp, his breath short and labored…
I shake my head, trying to ignore the throbbing of blood rushing to my cock at all those thoughts.
Now’s not the time. And to be honest, I’m not really wanting to jump right into bed with him just because I’m interested in exploring the other side of my sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow, especially if I want to find something real like the others in my family have found. And I do. It’s crazy, and it was never really on my list before, but I do. The last year has made that abundantly clear.
It’s about an hour later when Eli and Craig have most of the glass cleaned up and he’s got to get ready to go off to school.
“So, is that it?” Craig asks, hands thrust into the pouch of his hoodie. “We good here?”
I snort, but he’s not joking.
“Not by a mile, kid. I’ve gotta get an estimate from the glazier, but we still need to weatherproof the place until the new glass comes in, and then we’re going to do the install ourselves to make up for some of the money. Not to mention the”—I look at the greenhouse, the handful of missing panes, and scratch my chin thoughtfully—“probably eight or nine hundred bucks in materials you should work back with my tour company.”
“What?” Craig asks, but Eli’s there with a firm hand on his shoulder. When Craig looks over to him, he looks like he might cry, and for a second I almost feel bad for the kid. Almost. But he’s getting off easy and he’ll realize it soon enough. Everything he’s being “forced” to do here is harmless. He’ll get over it.
“Come on, don’t want you to be late for homeroom,” Eli says, ushering Craig to his car.
“See you tonight?” I call after him.
He almost looks surprised at the reminder, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before they curl into a tiny, secret smile that’s just for me. He nods. “Seven work for you?”
“Perfect.”
Eli
Keeping the grin off my face once I’m in the car with Craig isn’t easy.
I’ve got a date with Garrett tonight.
Or, at least I think it’s a date?
I’m not really sure actually. Now that I think about it, Garrett Rainier’s always seemed pretty straight to me. At least until the way he was looking at me earlier, the flirty little smiles he keeps sending my way, the energy between us while making plans to see me later—it wasn’t subtle.
And yet… I’m hesitant to jump to conclusions about any of it. I know the kind of disaster that could be for me, and I’m liking Umberland. I don’t want to have to leave because of some scandal of my own making.
Right now I need to focus on Craig, though. He’s obviously pissed, his arms folded over his chest, his jaw tight, brow furrowed. I get that he’s angry about a lot of stuff, but keeping it all in isn’t going to help him at all.
“You know you can talk to me about whatever,” I say carefully, hoping that’s safe enough. Pushing a teenager into talking when they’re not ready to is a surefire way to get them to shut down.
“It’s stupid all this work he’s making me do,” he grumbles, clearly talking about Garrett, his eyes shooting daggers in the side mirror as I’m driving toward his school.
I frown, hands tightening on the steering wheel as I fight off the instinctive urge to come to Garrett’s defense.
What’s that about? I’m supposed to be on Craig’s side?
Then again, in this case, Craig’s side is Garrett’s side. He just doesn’t realize it yet. Garrett’s doing him a big favor by not pressing charges and letting him work off the mess he made.
“You could be in juvie instead,” I point out casually, the message clear enough without embellishment.
Craig clams up, narrowing his eyes before he huffs. “I can’t make that mistake again,” he grumbles. I don’t blame him. Juvie might be jail for kids, but there’s nothing watered-down or juvenile about the stuff those kids go through. Craig’s never told me much about his previous stint, but he’s been pretty adamant about not wanting to go back.
Which makes this stunt of his all the more strange. Why risk it?
“Thanks for the ride,” he says, already reaching for the door handle before the car’s come to a complete stop. I frown, wanting to lock it and make him talk to me, but that’s not going to get me anywhere. I don’t have any authority here, and if I want to know what’s going on in Craig’s life, I’m going to have to trust him to let me in.
“Have a good day,” I say, stomach in my throat. There’s a million other things I want to say to him, to tell him that he’s not in this alone, but I feel that’ll just make things awkward. He knows. I hope.
After dropping Craig off, I head off to the clinic, drinking the last bits of coffee from my travel mug. It’s already empty and I’m not even at work yet. This is going to be a long day. Having my sleep interrupted last night, then getting up early this morning is a rough combo to start with. Add in that my caffeine supply is already depleted, and I’m just asking for trouble.
Dr. Barnes greets me when I come in, her pregnant belly bulging from under her white coat. We go about our day as usual, and it’s so routine that she
catches me completely off-guard when we’re closing up.
“I’ve really enjoyed working with you, Eli. I hope you’ll still be here in a year when I come back,” she says, a strained smile quirking her lips. Dr. Barnes isn’t much for smiling. It makes me wonder what kind of mother she’ll be. But that’s not the most pressing matter on my mind as I rifle through my mental calendar in a panic.
“Shit. Today’s your last day, isn’t it?” How the hell did I let it sneak up on me?
She smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you didn’t make a fuss. By the way, Dr. Peterson emailed me to say his flight tomorrow’s been pushed back. He’ll be in by the afternoon, but you’ll be opening up and handling the early patients.”
I still feel guilty as hell about not being a better employee. Who doesn’t throw their boss a going-away party when she’s leaving to have a baby? Dr. Barnes isn’t the friendliest of people and she doesn’t have the warmest bedside manner, but she’s always been a fair boss. She’s never tried to take advantage of me or push me around.
There’s a lot to say for that. There’ve been times in my past when the people paying me weren’t so nice. But that’s behind me for a reason. Where it belongs—forgotten.
Without thinking about it I wrap one arm around Dr. Barnes’s thin shoulders, her baby bump preventing too much of a hug.
“I’m going to miss you,” I say.
She snorts. “You don’t have to lie to me, Eli. Take care,” she says, pulling away with a final wave before she heads to her car.
I grin. She never has seemed like the sentimental type. It’s probably for the best. If she wanted to reminisce and spend a long time on a farewell, I might be late for my maybe-a-date with Garrett.
It’s almost six now, so I don’t have any time to waste getting home to spiff up. Barb’s isn’t anyplace fancy, but I’m not going to go for drinks with a cute boy in my scrubs. I’m at least going to put on pants that don’t make me look like I have no ass.
Of course, it’s been long enough since I’ve been on a date that I don’t exactly have “date clothes.” Is this a date, though?